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"Deathstalker II"

Scoopy praised Deathstalker II (1987) as a thoroughly enjoyable intentionally bad film. I agree completely with the intentionally bad, but did not personally enjoy it. It could be that I was humor challenged today, but I found the dialogue, which would have been more appropriate to a western annoying, and Monique Gabrielle was in nearly every scene shrieking "Stalker" or "Guards" depending on which persona she was at the moment. They should have had much less screen time for her, or fewer clothes most of the time. A running gag where everyone she encountered ripped off her clothes would have helped.

The DVD is horrid, clearly mastered from a work print, as it had scratches, and a lot of dirt and chips. It was also very dark. Exposure was from Monique Gabrielle (T & A), Maria Socas (T &A in flimsy nighty) and several unknowns. This is one case where I agree with the IMDB score of 3.7/10. C- as a bad movie, and D- as a Sword and Sorcery film.

  • Thumbnails

  • Maria Socas (1, 2)
  • Monique Gabrielle (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    NEW DVD RELEASE: Central Park Drifter is a pseudo-arty vampire movie with no redeeming features that I 'm able to discern. The DVD is as bad as the movie.

    Mad Dogs and Englishmen is a very poor movie with one strong point. Make that two strong points, both attached to Elizabeth Hurley.

    NEW DVD RELEASE: The Last Wave is one of the early Peter Weir films which demonstrated his potential to the world. Strange flick.

    No nudity.

    NEW DVD RELEASE: Forgotten Silver is another odd movie from Peter Jackson, the Kiwi who is directing Lord of the Rings. I really like this movie, which combines two of my own interests:

    • historical mockumentaries (perhaps some of you long-termers remember my chilling depictions of the Scottish-American war and the Sino-Bavarian War, which introduced the accordion to Chinese culture.
    • the history of films

    It tells the life of Colin McKenzie, a New Zealander whose brilliant career in early films was cast into obscurity when he buried  his work in a state of depression. McKenzie made sound films in 1908, but bombed at the box office because he made his movie in Chinese, and had not yet invented sub-titles. Interestingly, however, the film is still being watched in China today.

    McKenzie's exploits and history's ignorance of them were explained convincingly enough that people were fooled when this was first broadcast on Kiwi TV.

    'Caps and Comments by ICMS...

    It's time for a new update and who better to start with than Angie Dickinson in the 1967 movie "Point Blank" starring Lee Marvin. Unfortunately the scene is rather dark and she's far off the camera but it certainly looks like her. This film gets an impressive 7.5 in the IMDb but is still not available on DVD.

  • Angie Dickinson (1, 2)

    Then there is Austrian actress Sandra Cervik in the German TV-movie "Der Schuss". Again she is far off the camera and the scene looked a bit out of focus, so I couldn't get the images any sharper.

  • Sandra Cervik

    And now back to home. Scoop, you're probably asking yourself what this scan of this expensive wine drinking failed attempt at cloning Brad Pitt is doing here. Well, I'll give you the answer...

    The guy is Jacques Vermeire, a local comedian whose best days seem behind him. About three years ago a commercial TV-station bought him for allegedly 1 billion Belgian francs (22 million dollars), a huge sum for the Belgian entertainment industry although he already seemed over his peak back then. At that point he also started singing songs that were supposed to be funny. Here are some titles (translated into English) : "I've never been more stupid", "I lost my sunglasses in Greece, in Greece probably in the sand", "Syphilis, I've got syphilis, I can feel it when I piss", "Dingalingaling, when the shit hits the fan, that's amore" etc...Well, I made up the last two but the first two weren't exactly a smash hit either.

    Currently he's the star of the supposedly comedy series "Verschote & zoon", probably the first sitcom whose entire female cast can be seen naked in magazines. The role of his secretary is played by Joyce De Troch who was already twice in Playboy. Then his TV-wife Martine Jonckheere disrobed for Cover magazine in June (see June 21, 2001 contribution). Two months later Ann Hendriks, his cleaning lady in the series, followed suit, also in Cover. He himself has a wine column in this magazine in which he presents us expensive wines from his own wine cellar, like a Château Pétrus at $ 4,000 a bottle. Now we're through his professional women, so who's next to go naked in Cover ? Yep, his 24 year old (he's 50) soon to be ex-wife and mother of his two children, Eva Pauwels. She left him about 7 or 8 months ago because she seems fed up with their relationship. He dated her from when she was only 15 years old ! Legal age at that time was 18, now it's been lowered to 16. But let me point out that after all he is the decent guy here ; he married her, supported her, didn't cheat on her and yet she left him. He pays her a monthly allowance now but it's probably not that much since she's stark naked and practically begging in Cover magazine for someone to give her a job. Her tits are saline filled robohooters and she is very proud of them, according to the article in the magazine, in which she also says that they have to be refilled every ten years. At least it gives her something to look forward to :-)

    But that's enough gossip for now.

  • Ann Hendriks (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

  • Eva Pauwels (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

  • Hugo
    Bridget Fonda
    (1, 2)

    Excellent topless and rear nudity in "Scandal" (1989).

    Gwyneth Paltrow
    (1, 2, 3)

    Gwyneth looking amazing in this love scene from "Shakespeare in Love".

    Jennifer Beals As always the "Flashdance" looks great, but doesn't give up the goods. However, this is some of her more revealing work as she is seen here topless, with a guy feeling her up.

    Kirsten Dunst Kirsten in her undies, and the extreme upshirt view we've come to know and love from "crazy/beautiful".

    Thumbnail preview
    (1, 2)

    Mädchen Amick
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

    Some of the most complete coverage of Mädchen's topless, rear and frontal nude scenes from the movie "Dreamlover" ever put together at one time. Fantastic work by Aesthete, especially considering these were made from VHS!

    Cheryl Lawson
    (1, 2, 3)

    Nina Richardson
    (1, 2)

    Two more from Hankster's "Babes in Bondage" series.

    Cheryl is tied up and topless in "The Dead Pit" (1989). Nina is bound, gagged and topless in "Night Vision" (1991).

    Luisa Corna
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    The sexy brunette appearing topless on the pages of the December issue of the Italian magazine, Capital. One or two people may have seen her in "Nirvana" (1997), staring one of our Fun House heroes, Christopher Lambert. Thanks to Forch1 for the scans.

    Andrea Sawatzki New 'caps of the German actress is scenes from "Das Experiment" (2001).

    Jessica Alba
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    Thumbnail previews
    (1, 2)

    A very nice collection of images from "Dark Angel" for the Alba fans. Wonderful cleavage in each image, but fair warning, these collages by Cat Quasar are all huge files, 350k+

    Élodie Bouchez
    (1, 2)

    This very busy French actress has been in about 40 movies since 1990...and nude in quite a few of them! In fact she's done enough nudity to earn her own gallery in the Naked Encyclopedia. So if these full frontal vidcaps from "Too Much Flesh" aren't enough for you, we have more plenty more.

    Lana Wood Natalie Wood's sister topless, and showing a very subtle hint of pubes in the 1981 movie "Satan's Mistress" aka "Dark Eyes" aka "Demon Rage" or my favorite..."Fury of the Succubus"

    Mira Furlan She's best known as Delenn from the sci-fi series "Babylon 5", but long ago, in a country far, far away, she showed her breasts in a movie called "Lepota poroka" aka "The Beauty of Sin".

    A word from Sleuth
    Dear Scoop:

    I'm trying to locate the ENTIRE NUDE PHOTO SET on Blu Cantrell that ran in Black Tail mag...four shots of which you posted in the 11/21 Funhouse.

    If anyone can find out the exact vol. and no. of that issue, then I can should be able to locate the entire set. -Probably hundreds of poses!



    From the Mailbag
    Hey Scoops...

    For some reason today my mind wandered to the Gong Show while I was stuck in traffic.

    This lead me to think 'whatever happened to The Unknown Comic?'

    THIS lead me to remember that he did a movie and that was the last I saw of him. Linda Blair was in this movie and ended up having sex with him wearing the bag on her head. It was a very quick scene -right- at the end credits, kind of the punch line to the movie. (As that demonstrates, it wasn't a very funny movie.) She was topless and as I recall that was the first time I'd seen her topless. According to the IMDB, Chained Heat (her very first nude scene on film) is the only one that predates it.

    The movie was 'Night Patrol' and was a horrible Police Academy rip-off. They did another movie together later on called 'Up Your Alley'.

    I have never seen caps of her in this flick, and would sure like to but I'm certain it's out of print and only available on VHS.

    Now, the observation.

    Look at Jane Longnecker, cap #8, from 'The Coroner'. Am I the only one that thinks it looks like she's being menaced by a crazed Garth Brooks?

    (Caption): "So they won't let me make my shitty fake Australian pop star movie, eh?!? I'll show them!!! BWWAHAHAHAHAHAA!"


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