Seinfeld (Seasons 5 and 6)

These shows really bring back a lot of great memories. You may not remember that Seinfeld had a topless scene - well, sorta. I think it is actually flesh-colored cups over the breasts, but ... whatever. It occurs in the famous "Shrinkage" episode, in which the girl sees George naked after he's been swimming and ... well, you know the rest.

The woman who did the topless scene is a Fun House regular - Melora Walters, who has flashed them for real, although I'm not sure "real" is the word I'm looking for here, in several movies, most recently Cold Mountain. Whether they are real or not, Melora has, as Elaine pointed out in the Seinfeld episode, a "nice rack."

Check out her Encyclopedia volume for the complete historical record. For now, here's her pseudo-nudity on Seinfeld.

Melora Walters


Other Crap:

"At no time in the last 650,000 years have levels of the greenhouse gases carbon dioxide and methane been as high as they are today. "
  • You will find many other interesting, breakthrough developments in this study, which is the first to study the era from 400,000 years ago to 600,000 years ago. It is a new window into the past. The only previous climatological evidence from that era was based entirely on Cher's memory.
  • The scientists also found that previous interglacial ages have lasted longer than previously thought. It has been 12,000 years since the last Ice Age, and previous data had pointed to the fact that we were overdue for one. The new data shows that a previous interglacial era lasted 30,000 years when the position of the earth and sun were very similar to today's conditions, thus demonstrating that the current interglacial age is not abnormally long, and may last another 15,000 years

American pop star Michael Jackson has officially announced that he has been following the five tenets of Islam and intends to convert to Islam

  • Does this mean that wine is now officially to be called Allah Juice?
  • "The singer said he decided to convert to Islam because he is convinced it is the closest religion to his personal beliefs," except for that one with the altar boys.

The Simpsons makes history with show 350.

  • It has its sights set on the all-time record for the most episodes ever aired for a weekly nighttime show, which is currently held by Ozzie and Harriet - 435 episodes.
  • Ozzie and Harriet ran for "only" 14 years, compared to 16 for the Simpsons, but in those days a full sitcom season consisted of more than 30 original episodes. Today it is typically 22-26.

JOE Simpson is being called the grinch who stole Thanksgiving.

  • He announced daughter Jessica's separation on Wednesday night at 10 PM, forcing gossip show crews to work on Thanksgiving day. Damn, is that heartbreaking!

Jackie Chan has a message for Asia's film industry: Unite against American movies or risk losing your culture.

  • As the French well know, it is always difficult to get people to watch the things you think they should watch rather than the things they actually want to watch. Very few things in life are simple, but this is. Asian cinema, like French cinema, has an achingly simple solution to prevent American domination. There is no need for import quotas, just make the kinds of films people actually want to see: funny, sexy, action-packed, comprehensible, entertaining. Asians and Europeans can undoubtedly create popular entertainment just as well as Americans can, but they generally have chosen not to. If you only make films targeted for elite audiences, you shouldn't be surprised when the vast majority of people in your country would prefer the popular mass market American films. Aim for a small audience, get a small audience!

This is a real story!! Former Canadian Minister Of Defence Asks Canadian Parliament To Hold Hearings On Relations With Visitors from Outer Space

  • (Once again, this is a real quote, and is not from a satire site) "The United States military are preparing weapons which could be used against the aliens, and they could get us into an intergalactic war without us ever having any warning."

The trailer for In the Name of the King, a video game adaptation with a fairly high-powered cast. (Jason Statham, Leelee Sobieski, John Rhys-Davies, Ray Liotta, Matthew Lillard, Burt Reynolds, Will Sanderson, Ron Perlman, Claire Forlani, Kristanna Loken)

Critics and writers name their favorite books of 2005

Grossest-looking breakfast cereal ever.

Uncle Scoopy's Guest House presents Anne Hathaway in Havoc

  • The good news: the unrated DVD comes out Tuesday, and it includes some nice nudity.
  • The bad news: the rumors were not true. The unrated DVD does not include any scenes of Anne Hathaway walking around a room naked, nor any close-ups of her masturbating. In fact, the unrated DVD includes no female lower body nudity at all - not so much as a butt, let alone a frontal look!

STARSKY AND HUTCH are to be reborn as a pair of French cops called Madani and Duval.




Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.



Havoc (2004) is long awaited direct to vid, eagerly anticipated due to rumored nudity from Anne Hathaway and Bijou Phillips. Since the nudity is the most notable thing about this film, let's cover that first. We have breast exposure from an unknown blonde, breasts from Anne Hathaway in three scenes, two of them very dark, and breasts from Bijou Phillips in two scenes, one of them very dark. It is nearly impossible to talk about the plot without writing spoilers, so you will want to skip the next bit if you plan on seeing it. Overall, the film is very dark, both in mood and photographically, and is full of loud bad rap. I was not impressed with the acting, with the exception of some members of an East LA gang. The only time the film had any energy was when they were on screen.


Anne Hathaway is the alpha female in a gang of white yuppie wannabe gansters in wealthy yuppie haven, Pacific Palisades. She is dating the leader of the gang, and her best friend is Bijou Phillips. They claim to be adopting the gangster lifestyle out of boredom with urban wealth and ineffectual parents.Her boyfriend takes them into an East LA barrio to score some weed and tries to prove how tough he is by challenging the dealer he buys from. He loses the toughness battle when a gun is pulled on him, and pees his pants. This episode so impressed Hathaway that she had to return and get to know the gang.

Later, she brings Phillips with her, and elect to become a member of the gang. They agree to the initiation after a lot of drinking and smoking. Each rolls the dice once, and then sleeps with the number of men that comes up. Hathaway rolls a one, and then chickens out part way through. Phillips rolls a three and doesn't want to lose face by backing out, until the three try to make a sandwich of her. The next day, Phillips accuses them of rape. Hathaway knows the truth, and eventually spills it, but by then, the guys accused have been arrested, their home boys head for Pacific Palisades to make sure the girls can't testify, and the yuppie gangsters head for East LA to wipe out the Chicanos.

Neither finds what they are looking for, but see each other at an intersection. The screen goes black and we hear a gunshot. Roll credits, creating one of the most unsatisfying endings I can remember.

This film has so many problems, I will only cover the lowlights. First, Hathaway would have been more believable as one of the parents than as a High School senior. We saw nothing about Pacific Palisades that would explain why they were so rebellious. In fact, other than people getting blow jobs on street corners and the easy availability of dope, East LA was not shown to be that much different than Pacific Palisades. I have always had trouble finding sympathy for "poor little rich kids" and did not care for any of the yuppie spawn here. Most of the film was shot at night, probably in the hopes that the subdued light would create the proper atmosphere. I would rather have been able to see what was happening. The Yuppie gangster talk was so bad, I turned on the subtitles to understand it.


This is probably intended as the 2000 version of poor little rich girls turn to bad boys for kicks. The major difference for me is that, in the exploitation version of this theme, the girls are innocent, and they are told as a cautionary tale. IN this version, the only possible conclusion you can draw is that everyone is a complete asshole, from the ineffectual parents through the rebellious teens to the East LA gang members. This is a C-. Undoubtable, many of you will want to see it. Frankly, I am sorry I did.

Anne Hathaway

Bijou Phillips



Today from the Ghost....a whole mess o' pics from the softcore flick "Embrace the Darkness 3".

Holly Hollywood aka Stacy Leigh Mobley

All 3 B's from Brooke Larele aka Brook Lavelle, Chelsea Blue, Chelsea Bleu, Amber Karney, born Sarah Myrtle Hostetler.

Brooke Larele and Sasha Peralto aka Sasha Rochelle and Sasha Peralta. These two have a little lesbo fun.

Troma babe turned Skinemax regular Tiffany Shepis aka Vanessa Lynch.

Another very busy lady of late is Mia Zottoli aka Ava Lake, Mia and Phyllisha showing off her robo-goodies.

Today we feature Kari Wuhrer in "Spider's Web". Fortunately for B-movie lovers, Kari is a lady who doesn't mind showing off her assets. In fact, this time she kicks it off even as the opening credits roll!

Kari Wuhrer

Then we take another trip over to TV Land for Rachel Blakely in "The Lost World".I think she is just a fox. We start off with some cleavage and then Rachel becomes a "Babe in Bondage" and "Damsel in Distress" for the rest of the caps.

Rachel Blakely

Today we've got six clips from two films.

First Julie Benz in Darkdrive (1996) (1, 2).

She shows breasts and buns in this flashy feature which is rated a whopping 2.8/10 in the IMDb. You gotta love the last sentence of the second clip: "Ich liebe den Duft frisch gevögelte Frauen" which translates as "I love the smell of freshly fucked women". They should have added "in the morning", don't you think? BTW, would Julie's parents have ever considered Mercedes as a first name for their daughter?

Next, Hanna Schygulla gives up everything but never very clear in Rainer Werner Fassbinder's movie Die Ehe der Maria Braun (1979). (1, 2, 3, 4)

The film deals with a married German woman getting pregnant by a black G.I. in 1945 in Germany. That was a big problem in those days.

'Caps and comments by Dann:

"9 Songs"
The movie is neither the "pure porn crap" that one person described it, nor the "amazing breakthrough film" that another described it. Instead, I found 2004's 9 Songs to be an interesting and even innovative effort, but with many flaws.

The film portrays a few months in the life of a couple. They meet at a rock concert, and attend others throughout the film, and the film shows the live performances for several minutes at a clip. In between performances, we see the couple's romance progress, and most of that time is taken up with sex acts that are explicitly shown. While some of the sex depiction may be slightly tamer than true porn, not all of it is. Believe me, it's very explicit, showing oral sex, masturbation, ejaculation, etc. However, it's done in the context of the relationship, and I had no problem with the way they handled it. My problems were with other elements of the film.

There's no social statement here, unless it's that all relationships are eventually doomed to end. Unlike Ken Park, another film that was very explicit but had an excellent social statement, 9 Songs doesn't seem to have a message. That's fine, but tends to kill the "amazing breakthrough film" theory.

The band performances were a nice enough element, but certainly overdone if you don't like British rock. I personally didn't hate the music.

What I did hate was the cinematography. Not quite as bad as Brown Bunny but close, it was poor, often fuzzy and out of focus, and to me a disappointment. Why is it that people who make this kind of film think it's cool for the video portion to be crap?

As I said, an interesting but unamazing film. My general reaction was that I was underwhelmed.

Margo Stilley
(huge pic! about 900k)


ICMS sent in a couple of kick-ass clips of Sabatao Italiano starring the incredibly edible Isabelle Pasco. I threw together a few caps of her nude scenes into a couple of collages.

Isabelle Pasco in "Sabatao Italiano"

And then there is Vampire Vixens from Venus.

Look, there is no reason to go after this one with hammer and tongs because no one who was involved with its making gave a rat's ass about this movie. But for crimony's sake, if you are going to waste no effort making a titty flic and you are going to hire a bunch of B movie babes who have given up serious goodies (two Penthoue Pets among them) then go 'head and get 'em nekkid. Often. Always. Pick one or the other.

That is NOT what happens here. Leslie Glass...the late and dearly lamented Leslie...spends the most time topless but that accounts for maybe a minute's running time. Theresa Lynn and Michelle Bauer also show some goodies but only for a few seconds here and there. And inexplicably, JJ North only sorta kinda gives up robohooters by barely dropping her top and then leaning away from the camera. I do not get it at all. And then the DVD transfer is outrageously bad. So what you get then, me buckoes, is one shit-ass movie with barely any exposure to make for the sheer awfulness of it all, reproduced with all the skill that went into the original production. The horror.

JJ North

Leslie Glass

Michelle Bauer

Theresa Lynn


From the is the original Bond Babe, Ursula Andress showing just a bit of toplessness in scenes from 1979's "Tigers in Lipstick"