"The L Word"
The L Word (Pilot Episodes) (2004) is a Showtime softcore lesbian soap, written and produced by lesbian Ilene Chaiken. The pilot does the usual job of establishing main characters, and starting a plot line for each. Jennifer Beals and Laurel Holloman are in a long term committed relationship, but are having some troubles. Their sex life has degraded. They want to conceive a child. Mia Kirshner has just moved to LA, is a wannabe writer living with her boyfriend, and is strongly attracted to lesbian club owner Karina Lombard. Katherine Moennig is obviously out, and rather promiscuous, but actually yearns for a real relationship. Beals is half sister to Pam Grier, a dysfunctional entertainer.
The pilot evidently ran two nights. It includes nudity from Beals (dark breast shot), Holloman (breasts in good light), Moennig (full frontal), Kirshner (breasts in two different sex scenes) and two unknowns. According to the commentary by Beals and Chaiken, they not only have to please Showtime, but also all of Chaiken's lesbian support group as well, so I suppose it has authenticity. I will reserve judgement until I have seen more, but nothing about this pilot caught my interest.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Head in the Clouds
Despite the presence of Charlize Theron
and Penelope Cruz, this film bombed miserably at the US box office.
It maxxed out at 47 screens, and after 10 weeks it has taken in the
princely sum of $383,000, which probably didn't even pay for the
manicures for Cruz and Theron. Last week it took in $1,100 on four
I haven't seen the film, but it was
filmed by the guy who did Sirens, so you know it should look great,
and Charlize definitely looks great again. The IMDb rating is weak,
and it sounds like a chick-flick. It comes to DVD on the 25th of
Surprisingly, there are intelligent and thought-provoking elements
in the basic premise
of this grade-B sci-fi film made in Lithuania.
Suppose you are a game warden or an anti-fur
activist. You find a poacher about to kill a rare leopard for the
pelt. Would you kill the poacher rather than let him fire that shot?
Of course not. He's a human being. You would try to prevent his
action, perhaps try to get him arrested, but not kill him.
Now suppose that there is a race of highly advanced
beings. They prize the skin of earthlings. They have made earth a
game preserve and have forbidden the hunting of humans. But there is
still a big demand for human skins on their planet, so poachers come to earth to hunt
us. Their game wardens will try to prevent them from poaching, but will not shoot the poachers. Why not? Go back and read
the previous paragraph. You would not kill a member of your species
to protect an inferior species. Neither will these guys.
Arnold Vosloo plays the game warden. Some Lithuanian
guy plays the poacher who murders dozens of humans for their pelts.
Eric Roberts plays the human cop investigating the murdered humans.
Eric doesn't have the firepower to defend against the powerful
alien, so he keeps begging the alien game warden to use his own
powerful technology to counter the bad guy's powerful technology,
but the warden, although a good guy, will not take the life of a
member of his own race just to defend mere human animals.
Not a bad premise at all. In the hands of James
Cameron or somebody like that, it could make for a terrific movie, an
exciting thriller which also has far-reaching social implications.
Unfortunately, Cameron and his peers were nowhere to
be seen, and we are left with bad dialogue (much of it dubbed),
laughably bad special effects, miscast actors (John Rhys-Davies as
an American cop?), and production values only slightly worse than
those on the vintage Dark Shadows soap opera.
Way to go, lads. Terrible movie from a great idea.
I did learn some interesting facts about making
cheap movies in Eastern Europe. Here are some of the things I
(1) They use about a half dozen English speakers. (In
this film, Roberts, Rhys-Davies, Vosloo, Tony Lo Bianco, the
coroner, and the woman who played Roberts's wife.) The people in
small parts simply speak their lines in Lithuanian and are dubbed
over in post-production. The guy who played the poacher was on
camera more than anyone else, but this presented no problem since
the character did not speak any earth languages.
(2) They create the illusion that the film is made in
an American town by using only a few signs. The police station is a
local building with some inexpensive English language signs hung on
it. Same with the local strip club and health club. A couple of cars
are painted to look like American police cars from a generic city.
(3) They are not especially careful about where they
film, because all traces of local culture and signage are blurred
out in post-production. Here's the way it works. As they drive
through the streets, the words on all the street signs are blurred
out. The identifying signs on local gas stations and retail
establishments are blurred out. This film actually has a long chase
scene through the streets of Vilnius, and I watched it very closely.
There is nothing to betray the location. It might have taken place
in Syracuse, except that there is something vaguely unfamiliar about
it. There are no oil companies in America that use that color
combination, for example, so even though the brand names are blurred
away, it is obviously a brand that does not really exist in Syracuse
or anywhere else in the USA.
To tell you the truth, the whole process is quite
ingenious, and I had a good time studying how they disguised Vilnius
and its inhabitants to look like some generic small city in the rust
The good news is that the nudity is plentiful, and
the women are lovely. The final flesh count: frontal nudity from two
identified actresses, breasts from eight or nine more, of which two
Since the alien poacher prizes the best human pelts, he does his
hunting in strip clubs and health clubs. The film begins in the
woman's locker room of a health club, where two completely naked
women have a
long chat as they prepare to become victims. Later on, the poacher wreaks havoc on a
strip club, where we see an unidentified topless waitress, several
unidentified topless strippers, and a lovely topless bartender (Viktorija
Soldatenko). The three identified actresses all speak with perfect
American accents. Of course the words we hear don't even come close to
matching their lip movements! Additional nudity is provided by the
breasts of Sarah Kaite Coughlan in a sex scene with her cop husband
Dutch actress Georgina Verbaan puts her chest x-ray on the
internet to prove she is "natural"
Best-selling novelist Arthur Hailey is dead at 84
- Today's Christmas gift idea:
Banana Guard - Protect your Banana, safe transportation and guard
protection for all your bananas. Now in nine attractive
Colin Farrell checks to see if his wax pee-pee is to scale.
Peyton Manning - only 28 attempts - 6 TDs.
- The NFL record for TD passes in a season is 48. Manning is
on pace for 60. He already has 41, with five games left to play.
- Manning's QB rating is 127, the record is 113!!
- The Colts are averaging 34.5 points per game, the NFL record
What Went Wrong with the Exit Polling? This is a good
article which truly analyzes some issues which have been treated
superficially by both journalists and partisan hacks (and even by
some scientists at Cal Tech and MIT!)
The Washington Post reviews Alexander the Crybaby.
- "In this (version of Alexander) you think: Teri Hatcher
could kick this twerp's butt."
- "It has the same biopic failings as any MGM product of the
- Jolie: "best impression of Bela Lugosi while hampered by a
38-inch bust line."
Learn to write in fluent 1337
The new illustrated health warnings on European cigarette packs.
(Including open heart surgery!)
The Movie House reviews Richard Gere as King David, or
"Dave" as he likes to call himself.
- "Dave starts out as a humble shepherd boy who writes some
songs and sings them to the sheep. Hey, even Sinatra started
- "They smite the living shit out of a whole bunch of pagans
with tribal names ending in "_ites", like the Hittites,
Amalekites, Kenites, Jerahmeelites, Jezreelites, Carmelites, and
Plebiscites. He even smote the asses of the obscure and peaceful
sheep-herding tribe called the Woolites."
- "Dave didn't really need to smite the Plebiscites. He just
hung out with them and got them to hold a direct vote on whether
to surrender to Israel."
The first look at a trailer for Valiant. "The animated
comedy tells the story of a lowly wood pigeon named Valiant, who
overcomes his small size to become a hero in Great Britain's Royal
Air Force Homing Pigeon Service during World War II. The RHPS
advanced the Allied cause by flying vital messages about enemy
movements across the English Channel, while evading brutal attacks
by the enemy's Falcon brigade."
Producers of the 32nd Carry On film insist the movie will still be
made, despite losing cast members Danniella Westbrook and Shaun
Brazilian women apply decorative paint prior to their group
dancing presentation, at the VII Indigenous Nations' Games.
So what's so good about that? They do the dance topless, and
Reuters took a picture of them getting ready.
WWE parodies the NFL/Desperate Housewives ad. ("Watch
the clip" link near the bottom of the page.)
Brit execs choose Baywatch as worst US import show ever.
It may have been bad, but people surely liked it. It is probably
the most watched show in the history of television, having been
watched at its peak by a billion people in 140 countries.
Playmate Gallery - Dalene Curtis, June, 2001 - Courtesy of
Four free short vids from SPICE UNCENSORED!
President Bush Offers Congratulations to House Majority Leader Tom
Delay on His Formal Elevation Above Ethics and the So-Called "Law"
Is it true the modern idea of Thanksgiving was invented by the
editor of Harper's Bazaar?
Former Cheers star Shelley Long has been rushed to hospital after
taking a suspected drug overdose.
Friends fear the actress tried to kill herself.
JoBlo.com reviews the Bloodrayne script (Major
Spoilers) "a serious failure from beginning to end"
Top Ten Questions Recieved By The Butterball Turkey Hotline
Fifteen people have died mysteriously in front of their TV. Cause
of death: the Gigli DVD.
The trailer for Million Dollar Baby, Clint Eastwood's
new boxing movie, starring Hilary Swank as the boxer.
Nine clips from "Blade Trinity"
The trailer and four clips from Closer. (Natalie
Portman, Jude Law, Julia Roberts, Clive Owen) "It's great when two
couples get to be close friends, isn't it? The women can kibbitz
about dirty socks and the men can drink a beer together. But what
happens when the man from one couple gets too attracted to the
woman who's not his?"
The trailer and 4 clips from A Talking Picture. (John
Malkovich, Catherine Deneuve, Stefania Sandrelli.) Rosa Maria, a
young History professor, sets out with her daughter Maria Joana on
a cruise that will travel through the Mediterranean to Bombay ,
India, where they will meet her husband. This pleasure cruise also
serves for Rosa Maria, to get to know for the first time and show
her daughter, places about which she talks in her classes but
which she never visited. So, this trip through Ceuta, Marseille,
the ruins of Pompei, Athens, the pyramids of Egypt, Istanbul, is
also a journey through thousands of years of history, through the
Mediterranean civilization that marked and still marks the West
cultures. On the cruise, she will also meet three impressive
women, well-known figures of different nationalities: a renowned
French businesswoman, an Italian former model, and a Greek teacher
and actress; and especially the captain, an American of Polish
origin. But a strange threat disturbs the cruise and menaces the
ship and the life of its passengers.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words, pictures, and vids from
1984 - (1984 - when else?) - part
Hello Scoopy !
Bush lovers will most likely find these clips a treat.
talking politics here but am referring to the film "1984" starring
John Hurt and Suzanna Hamilton. The film is of course
an adaptation of George Orwell's grim but surprisingly accurate
vision of the future written back in 1948, and I must say that the
film is even more depressing than the book. Suzanna Hamilton plays
the female lead role and back in 1984 audiences raised their
eyebrows when she showed her pubes and, by doing so, managed to
get her name noticed. See, it was a gigantic bush even by the
standards of those days, so how must this look to some of
today's people who adhere to the no pubes rule aka. the little
Anyway, here are #6-10 out of ten clips. The first five are
found in yesterday's edition.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
First up from the Ghost...Margot "Lois Lane" Kidder's niece, Janet. Here is the Canadian actress topless and baring her bum in the shower. Scenes from 2002's "Darkness Falling".
- Janet Kidder
- Janet Kidder zipped .wmvs
Next up, a couple of vids of Olivia Williams baring her breasts in scenes from the Kevin Costner movie "The Postman" (1997). Clip #1 also features a very brief bit of pubes as Williams climbs into bed.
- Olivia Williams zipped .wmvs.
||Bikini 'caps from a recent episode of "North Shore".
||The cute blonde star of "Veronica Mars" wearing a tight little tank top and a cheerleader outfit on a recent episode.
|The latest from the "Desperate Housewives". The future Mrs. Scoopy Jr (in my dreams) Eva Longoria in seen in bed in her undies.
Sheridan shows cleavage and pokies while riding a mechanical bull.
Hatcher is all dressed up in #1, and doing a silly dance in tight top before trying to ride the bull in #2.
Heather Stephens had a guest spot on last week's episode, and is wearing a tank top and tight jeans in the scene we have here.
|Next up...a few scenes from the recently released DVD of "The Chronicles of Riddick".
No nudity, but Alexa Davalos and Christina Cox both show some sweaty cleavage. Cox also shows off her amazing abs. Thandie Newton also showed a bunch of cleavage and wore several form fitting dresses.
I absolutely loved the original "Pitch Black". It was visually wonderful, chock full of sci-fi thrills and it gave us Vin Diesel as Riddick...one of the best anti-heroes we've seen on screen in a long time. Best of all it was decently written and well executed on a budget of only $23 million! By the time it left theaters, it was a profitable movie that had brought in about $53 million world wide. Later it became a big hit on DVD, and apparently that's when the studio execs started seeing dollar signs.
Fast forward to summer 2004 and along comes the sequel, and one more classic example of just how bad the Hollywood Studio system can be. When will Hollywood learn that taking a small, surprise hit and trying make a big budget summer blockbuster sequel just doesn't work! They backed "Riddick" with a budget of $110,000,000, made sure every scene had tons of CG effects, and softened up our anti-hero so he would be more cuddly and marketable enough to get a PG-13 rating.
The result..."Chronicles" didn't even break even, and for good reasons.
The original was a lean, mean sci-fi flick on alien world, that put a hand full of surivors up against man eating monsters. A simple story of survival with a great twist...one survivor was a bad guy who was just as unpredictable and dangerous as the monsters -no heart of gold bullshit.
In the sequel we have an evil empire (yawn). An evil leader who is half dead (which gives him magic powers). Some people with funny haircuts and big plastic armor. Plus they even tossed in some kind of "Minority Report"-like psychics.
The basic plot is that the evil leader is so bad that only another bad guy can stop him and save the universe. (On a side note, I guess this proves Dark Helmet's theory that Evil will always triumph over Good, because Good is dumb.)
This time out, our big twist is that apparently Riddick really isn't that evil after all. In fact he's from a race of people that are genetically ass-kicking, but as fate would have it, the evil leader killed Riddick's people. So he's not really a bad guy, he's just horribly scarred from a childhood trauma. Maybe someone should give him a hug.
The original had a great pace, scenes chock full of nail bitting tension and some genuine thrills. The sequel is just one more predictable, big budget summer action flick. Vin was still pretty cool, and his paycheck was basicially half the budget of "Pitch Black"...so kudos there big guy. However I must say this....Vin, if you really are considering a third movie in this series...please, I beg you, don't do it. Just stop now. There are better projects out there for you.
||Another cool find by LC featuring scenes from a movie not yet available on home video. According to it's production company's web site, it's currently set for a "late 2004" theatrical release. Here is the "Run Lola Run" and "Bourne Identity" star topless in scenes from "I Love Your Work".
||One more rare find by LC. Here is the French actress baring all 3 B's in scenes from "Clara et moi" (2004). So far this movie has been seen at a few film festivals and in French theaters, but no DVD info is availble yet.
Stacey Leigh Mobley
|Señor Skin takes a look at the 1997 Skinemax flick, "Sex, Lies & Politics" (1997). Jane Stowe is topless and Mobley (aka adult star Holly Hollywood) bares breasts, bush and shows some thong views.