Tuesday

My Best Friend's Girl

2008

I was disappointed in this Dane Cook comedy.

I know what you're thinking. How can anyone be disappointed in Dane Cook, given the realistically pessimistic expectations engendered by the fact that ... well, the fact that he's Dane Cook.

I'm not unaware of his tics and peculiarities, and I know he's not the most subtle guy in the world, but I thought this was an excellent vehicle for him. Here's the set-up: guys hire him to date women who have recently dumped them. The women really want to get back in the dating scene and see what they have been missing, but one date with Dane is a splash of cold water to their faces - a reminder of just how ugly that whole scene can be. Maybe that would be true even if Dane were just being himself, but in this case, he is deliberately acting like the date from hell, because that's what's necessary to drive the women immediately back to the guys who hired Dane. In one short night, he reminds them of every single thing that can go wrong on a date with somebody new, and forces them to realize how good it is to have someone safe, even if they are a little boring or unpolished.

You would think that a good comedy writer should be able to hit that right out of the ballpark. It's batting practice. All they have to do is think of dozens of funny, creepy things for Dane to do. I'll bet every good-looking woman in the world has a dozen real stories which could be used for this purpose with only slight exaggeration.

The writers did come up with a couple of funny scenes. In one, Dane is the wedding date, and the bride is his date's sister. Dane goes up to their mother and tells her that she must have been a hot slice of fuckberry pie in her day, then takes down his pants, sticks his dick in her face and says, "Well, c'mon, mom, it's not going to suck itself." That's a few minutes after he asks to cut in when the bride and groom are having their first dance. OK, that's all over the top, but it's outrageous enough to get a laugh. In another case, Dane takes a devote Christian girl to a tragically hip pizza parlor called Cheesus Crust, where the pizzas are all in the shape of crosses and each order has a tastelessly catchy name calculated to offend religious people by making light of Christ's suffering. Not a bad comedy idea. At least it showed some creativity in matching Dane's boorishness to the specific characteristics of the woman he was hired to offend, and somebody went to a lot of trouble to create a gigantic mural of the disciples and Jesus eating pizza at the last supper. There were also some funny scenes between Dane and Alec Baldwin as the sleazy father who taught Dane everything he needed to know about acting like an asshole.

For the most part, however, the dates from hell just weren't that imaginative to begin with, and the rest of the film was dragged to a standstill by the two serious Kate Hudson love stories which were driving the plot. The romances ended up shoehorning the promisingly dark premise into the shopworn romantic comedy template. The forced happy ending and obligatory character redemption lacks any credibility because we have not been given permission to like Dane's character or to want him to be redeemed. Elsewhere in the film, the scenes with Jason Biggs, as the schmuck whose unrequited love is the story's focal point, are embarrassingly unfunny. Biggs infuses his role with plenty of energy, but the ol' college try just isn't enough because the material is trite and boring.

Because this movie has a few laugh-out-loud moments, it isn't as bad a comedy as the IMDB rating (5.0) might lead you to believe, but the batting practice premise should have resulted in a thunderous McGwire homer and instead just delivered a fly ball to the warning track that got the crowd to its feet, but ultimately disappointed. You'll probably walk out of the theater liking the film this might have been if it had the courage to stray from the usual tedious Kate Hudson romcom formula.

Strippers provided the only real female nudity.

Kate Hudson is in a bra and panties during her sex scenes, but hey, it's Kate Hudson.

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Susan's Plan

1998

 

 

 

 

 

 

This section will present Defoe's film clips to accompany Charlie's collages, which are found on his own site.

Today's clip: Odile Vuillemin in Mon Historie

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

The All-American Boy

1973

E.J. Peaker

Scoop's note: Although this boxing film was Jon Voight's follow-up to Deliverance, from the time when he was a megastar, it is now almost completely forgotten. It's rated 4.6 at IMDB and is not even on DVD.

E.J. was the female lead in "That's Life," an extremely ambitious 1968-69 comedy that followed a couple through courtship and marriage in a complete Broadway-style musical in every 60-minute episode. I remember it quite well. It lasted a year, after which it died from a combination of weak ratings and an exhausted premise. Here's a nice summary of the plots. That program made EJ a star for about a month, but the rest of her career seemed to consist of appearances on Love American Style.  I think this was her only nudity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Satin & Lace

(1992)

Brandy Sanders

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pics

Model Lara Stone stark naked in Purple magazine

 

Tereza Srbova in Eichmann (same woman from Eastern Promises)

Film Clips

Andrea Haendler and Eva Billisich in Muttertag (sample right)

Eva Billisich is back, this time by herself, in Muttertag (sample right)

The women of The Halfway House, a grade-B horror/comedy loosely inspired by a Lovecraft story