Eastern Promises


One reader wrote in to tell me that the naked Ukrainian prostitute in Eastern Promises was played by Theresa Srbova, not Elisa Lasowski. He seems to be 100% correct. Viggo asks her in Russian, "What is your name?" She replies, "Kirilenko." According to IMDb, Kirilenko is Theresa Srbova.

So, my mistake for just accepting the previous day's ID without researching it. Here are the corrected collages. (Same collages you saw yesterday, except for the labeling.)


* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








My Mother Frank



The titular Frank is a depressed 50-year-old widow trying to raise a son who is a university student. She helps the local nuns and takes care of her daughter's kids, but the frequent explosions of pineapple cans in her pantry are a strong clue that things could be better with her. Her son finally tells her to get her own life and stay out of his, so she decides to go back to the university to study poetry. Son Matthew is mortified, and feels that his mother's presence will prevent him from ever winning the girl of his dreams, Rose Byrne, away from his best friend who doesn't deserve her. This sets the stage, and I will leave the twists and turns of this delightful film for you to discover.

Male IMDb readers rate the film 6.8, but it receives a whopping 8.1 from women. While I am not surprised at the estrogen response to this film about a strong woman, it is not without something for the guys, with the subplot of a nice guy trying to win the girl from Mr. Macho. Performances from Sinéad Cusack, Rose Byrne, Sam Neill and Matthew Newton are all excellent. The characters jump off the screen.



Rose Byrne shows the side of her right breast in a dream sequence.









The Halfway House


A rather lame horror movie, but a "Babes in Bondage" extravaganza ...


Janet Tracy Keijser is the only one that does not get tied up as a meal for the monster in the basement. She has nice legs and gives up the boobs in the bedroom and the shower.



Everyone else shows breasts as they become lunch for the creature ...


Cute Ashley Fires who gets fondled before being devoured (off camera).




Monica Shere, another snack for our cheap-looking monster.


More meal time from Athena Demos, and she gets a little bloody.


Stephanie Leighs is our final "Babe in Bondage," and the only one to survive.






Notes and collages

The Ballad of Cable Hogue

Part 7 of 13

Stella Stevens








Desert Saints

A mysterious hitman (Keifer Sutherland), working his "last big job," picks up hitchhiker Bennie (Melora Walters), a pathetic loser who turns out to be a FBI agent on his case.


Melora Walters






Rise of the Dead

Although it's not a bad horror movie, an awful lot of people bitched about this 2007 flick for one reason: it is not a zombie movie. Apparently, the title and DVD art misled people into expecting brain-slurping zombies, so they were disappointed with what it really is, a possession story. Not a bad one though, just no zombies.

Laura (Erin Wilk) is attacked by a normal lawyer who appears to have gone over the edge. Next, Laura's roommate is murdered for no apparent reason and Laura and her boyfriend become suspects.

Further complicating this is the fact that a woman has already been murdered, and she had ties to Laura because she had adopted a child that Laura had given up when she was 16. Strangely, though, Laura didn't know the woman who had adopted her child, but that still moved Laura up on the suspect ladder.

When Laura's own mother goes unexpectedly nuts and attacks her, Laura decides she can no longer depend on the cops to figure things out, and starts looking into the murders on her own.

While this is a B-movie all the way, the acting is not terrible for the most part, and the storyline is pretty good, so it's worth watching as long as you're not dying to see zombies.

Jaime Whitlock Jamie Lewis Erin Wilk






A film clip of Kitty Winn in The Panic in Needle Park. This was Al Pacino's first starring role, the only one he had before becoming Michael Corleone.

A film clip of Gudrun Landgrebe in a 1984 episode of Heimat. Gotta love German TV

Superdupermodel Lily Cole, stark naked

Russian Movies

Various film clips, all short and to the point: