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"Central Park Drifter" (1987)

Central Park Drifter (1987) is the latest video release of a vampire piece called Graveyard Shift. Even in the mid 80's, it took two years after filming to get any release at all. It is 2% vampire film, 98% dark images. There is a lot to learn, however:

1) Best job for a vampire is driving a taxi on graveyard shift.
2) Vampires only bite people who are ready to die.
3) In a pinch, vampires can feed off each other.
4) It is even possible to survive by sucking your own blood.
5) Philandering husbands get suddenly jealous when their wife dates a vampire.
6) Male vampires bite women on the chest.
7) Female vampires slash throats with a knife before they eat.

It will take longer to explain the plot than there is plot. Head vampire drives a hack. His female victims are causing a murder spree. He falls in love. They bring in the cliched stupid cop to screw things up. Most of the film is way too dark, and all of it is either red, blue, or way over saturated. According to the credits, they brought in voice actors for nearly everyone, probably because most of the cast was not credible delivering lines.

The nudity report is a little better, however, with star Helen Papas and Kim Cayer showing breasts, and Jessie Taylor and Sugar Bouche (yes, I bet it is pronounced bush) showing everything in dark scenes. IMDB readers say 3.6/10, Maltin says 2 1/2 stars, and no other critics will admit to having seen it. The DVD is appropriately bad, with a lot of grain, and no features. I say F. I can't imagine anyone being entertained by this turkey, and it is technically inept.

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  • Helen Papas (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Jessie Taylor (1, 2)
  • Kim Cayer
  • Sugar Bouche (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Made is the new movie from Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn. It is basically "The Sopranos meet Dumb and Dumber".

    • Jenteal
    • Famke Janssen (not naked, but pretty good stuff) (1, 2, 3)

    I'm guessing you already know what Titanic is

    Time Lapse is a grade-z straight-to-vid clone of Memento. No nudity. It stars the guys highlighted in yellow, all of whom are becoming staples in the straight-to-vid community.

    Henry Rollins is the grade-z Billy Zane, the psychotic, hyperkinetic baddie. (Richard Grieco handles the roles if they don't require hyperkinetic activity.)

    William McNamara does what Michael Pare used to do, playing the good-looking hero in the straight-to-vid world. (Casper van Dien plays this role when he is available. McNamara is the second-string)

    Roy Scheider has become the grade-z Jason Robards, playing the seedy older guy who may or may not be corrupt.

    After Sex is one of those awful, onmipresent straight-to-vid "Diner" clones where people whine on endlessly about the opposite sex. No nudity from the principals. See my caps of stripper Stormie Shelbie in the 08-12-00 edition, if you just have to see every moment of nudity in the new releases.

    Prison of Secrets has the exact same premise as every other WIP film. "Nice" girl ends up doing hard time with tough dames, takes showers, sees and experiences sexual abuse, gets examined by evil nurses, etc.

    Only one problem - this one was made for broadcast TV. No nudity at all.

    Sharpe's Enemy is one of a 14 part series from Brit-TV. It's a good series about the Napoleonic Wars, starring Sean Bean. I would watch it if I had time to watch stuff I really like. I got to watch this one because ... well, Liz Hurley topless. What more is there to say? The second pic is the one you want to see.

    • Hurley (1, 2)

    A gift of B-movie babes from our favorite of the Mafia Dons...

    Judy Brown
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Pam Grier

    Roberta Collins

    Toplessness from the Pamsploitation, women in prison film "The Big Doll House" 1971.

    A little trivia...Judy Brown has since become an on set tutor for child actors, working in mostly A-list movies.

    Julie Strain
    (1, 2)

    Big Julie doing what she does best...showing off her robo-hooters. Vidcaps from "Battle Queen 2020".

    Lilli Carati
    (1, 2, 3,)

    The former Miss Italy (1975) in scenes from a hardcore movie.

    Elsa Martinelli
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Topless and rear nude images of the Italian actress. Not too sure of the source.

    More fashion scans from the master...

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    First up..some big named babes on magazine covers

  • Estella Warren
  • Jessica Riccardi a very sexy cover!
  • Liv Tyler
  • Kylie Minogue, great cleavage.

    Moving on to the models...

  • Tasha Tilberg (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

  • Teresa Lourenco...links #1 and #4 have breast exposure. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

  • The Hankster
    Melanie Griffith
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Topless in scenes from Brian De Palma's "Body Double" (1984).

    Courteney Cox
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Before "Friends", in fact even before "Ace Ventura", Courtney made a movie called "Opposite Sex and How to Live with Them". Maltin calls it a BOMB, and I agree. Courtney did look great however. Even though there is no nudity, there were some near misses, great cleavage, and Courtney's legs.

    Kristin Minter
    (1, 2, 3)

    Topless, plus a bit of bare bum and some frontal views in scenes from "Tick Tock". Vidcaps by DeVo.

    Raffaella Ponzo
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    UC99 continues his coverage of the erotic series, "Tinto Brass: Corti Circuiti Erotici". Not only do all 3 B's make an appearance, but Tinto himself can be seen in link #5!

    Gretchen Mol
    (1, 2)

    Mega low-cut cleavage on Conan! Raja did a great job with the 'caps, but they don't doesn't do her justice...her breasts were almost hypnotic.

    Chiara Mastroianni
    (1, 2)

    From are 2 collages of Marcello Mastroianni's daughter from the French film "N'oublie pas que tu vas mourir". Very nice breast exposure.

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