"The Rapture"

The Rapture (1991) was covered recently by Scoopy. If you haven't read his review, this would be a real good time to do so. As a quick recap, the first act portrays a woman who is a bored information assistance operator by day, and an unhappy swinger at night. In act two, she accepts Jesus as her personal lord and savior, gets married and has a child. Act three is the kicker, where her husband is killed, and she becomes convinced that God has called her to the rapture at a remote desert location. She takes her daughter, and waits for God, who is a no show.

Up to this point, the story seems grounded in a specific reality, namely, a lost soul who becomes a born again Christian. IS that interesting? I have to believe that anyone interested in the subject has had ample opportunity to learn all about it before now, so I will have to say no. The swinging of act one is much to mild to have an erotic entertainment value. The main character is neither remarkable enough, or strange enough to help generate interest and make us care about her.

In act three, they do an amazing job of pissing off every possible viewer. They shoot the daughter so she can be with God, then the end of the world does occur, but too late for our main character, as she no longer loves God, seeing him as way too cruel. She declines an eternity in heaven rather than change her mind. So, we kill a kid on camera, which has to upset a lot of people. Then, we say that Christianity has it right, and everything they preach is true, which should anger all non-Christians. Finally, we say that God is such an asshole that even a former believer will pass up an eternity in heaven to kiss his ass, and hence piss off the Christians as well.

We have breasts from Mimi Rogers and Stephanie Menuez, and breasts and buns from Carol Davis.

Ebert, along with many other critics, was enthusiastic about it. Opening weekend box-office was strong, but the Thomas-Hill hearings, then the National League playoffs and the World Series killed the rest of the run. Is it enjoyable? I don't see how. It is bold, different, and act three is in no way predictable. For me, it was two acts of hohum, followed by one long "you have got to be kidding me." Yet, there is much to think about and talk about here. In the final analysis, I expect many of you should see it, but I doubt that many would willingly watch it twice. This is a C-. It is technically a decent effort, and they did brig their vision to the screen, Whether or not you will feel enriched for having watched it is completely up to you.

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  • Carole Davis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Mimi Rogers (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Stephanie Menuez (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Other Crap:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.


    Single White Female (2004)

    Tuna and I have discussed this before.

    Lots o' nudity from JJL and Bridget Fonda. Here's the second installment. See the other JJL clips in yesterday's edition.


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.


    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS

    Gazon maudit - (1995) - part 1

    Hi Scoopy !

    This time we'll take a look at all the nudity from the French comedy "Gazon maudit" (1995), starring Victoria Abril. As usual Victoria isn't very shy about her body (check the huge volume in the Encyclopedia), so there are ten clips in all. Today I'm sending along the first five, the other five will follow tomorrow. I thought some scenes didn't deserve to be cut short, so some clips contain little nudity by Abril while others also feature mild nudity from co-stars Josiane Balasko and full male nudity by Alain Chabat.  

    That's it for today.

    Yours faithfully,


    Some brand new Euro-Goodies from LC!

    First up,

    • Emily Blunt topless in scenes from the UK film "My Summer of Love". One IMDb reader commented that this is a "nicely observed tale of a teenage lesbian romance".

      So far it has only played a few film festivals and is not available on home video.

    Next up, scemes from the French comdey "Les Textiles". It was released in France and Italy over the summer, and is also not available on home video.

    • Angélique Thomas looking fantastic topless and full frontal at the beach.

    • Barbara Schulz she's the one with the serious pokies and soaking wet t-shirt.

    • Magali Muxart very tan and showing all 3 B's (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    'Caps and comments by Oz:

    "Boyz N The Hood"
    Boyz N The Hood is a story about black gang warfare in America. There are topless views of Nia Long and Leonette Scott's characters, but both are most likely body doubles.

    "Return to Horror High"
    Return to Horror High is a confusing teenage horror movie, confusing because it jumps around time-wise and you never know what's real and what's not. Plenty of topless ladies including Alison Noble, Joy Heston, Darcy DeMoss and some unknowns. Kristi Somers and Lori Lethin add some eye candy.

    There's a brief flash of breast from an unidentified woman, which is the only nudity. Marilu Henner shows a lot of her breasts, but still only a partial views. Koko Tani and Kristine DeBell are also very easy on the eyes.

    "Alien Hunter"
    No nudity in the dull Alien Hunter but some nice outfits worn by Janine Eser and Leslie Stefanson.

    "The Joy of Sex"
    Some unknowns give a brief show of breast in The Joy of Sex. Michelle Meyrink and Lisa Langlois look sexy.

    "Red Rock West"
    Lara Flynn Boyle is down to her underwear in Red Rock West.

    • Lara Flynn Boyle (1, 2)

    Eva Longoria
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    Teri Hatcher
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Two of the "Desparate Housewives" looking showing a little skin. The ulta-gorgeous Longoria is in her undies again, this time in a very oddly lit scene featuring her lying in bed, and then getting up. Hatcher wears a form fitting top and does a little dance before trying to ride a mechanical bull.

    Tyra Banks Thanks to Squiddy for this great image of the supermodel and actress wearing a see-thru top on the runway!

    Joey Lauren Adams

    Priscilla Barnes
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

    Señor Skin takes a look at Kevin Smith's second Askewniverse film, "Mallrats" (1995). For Smith fans there seems to be a love it or hate it reaction to this flick. It has some very funny bits, but they are kinda lost in between fart jokes and fanboy comic book love. Overall, it's a decent second film.

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Hard Knocks - In Orlando, Florida, a trial has begun in which Hooters is claiming it owns the copyright on using scantily-clad women to sell food and beer. They say Ker's WingHouse stole their concept, including waitresses, menu design, calendars and traffic signs reading "Double Curves" and "Caution: Blonde Thinking." Ker's owner claims it's based on a restaurant he used to own called "Knockers," and that Hooters is just afraid of competition. But Hooters' lawyer said they're defending their "intellectual property rights," and "the Hooter Girl is our Ronald McDonald."

  • Except she wears more makeup.
  • But you'll never see a grimace at Hooter's.
  • That's the first time the words "intellectual" and "Hooter Girl" have been used in the same sentence.
  • It took some major intellectual brainwork to think of using scantily-clad women to sell beer.
  • Next, they'll sue Cinnabuns for stealing their idea of marketing hot, sweet buns.

    Princesses Are Falling - ABC's "20/20" reports that Wal-Mart heiress Paige Laurie, granddaughter of one of the founders, is clueless about how the average Americans who made her rich live. Her ex-roommate at the University of Southern California, Elena Martinez, had to drop out because she couldn't afford tuition. So she says Laurie paid her $20,000 to do all her homework and papers so she could go to parties every night like Paris Hilton. Laurie sometimes berated her for making typos. Laurie's parents were so proud of her graduation, they gave $2 billion to the University of Missouri for a stadium and demanded it be named in her honor.

  • And it was: "Cheating Bitch Stadium."
  • At least now that she has that diploma, she should go far!

    Burst Their Balloon - Two high school students who were putting up balloons for a dance in Gilbert, Arizona, inhaled a little helium so they could talk in squeaky voices and get a laugh. The principal suspended them for five days for violating the zero-tolerance policy on the non-medical use of inhalants. She did later reduce it to one day.

  • After their lawyer argued that laughter is the best medicine.
  • But she reminded them that there is also a zero tolerance policy on laughter.
  • This school is so strict, not even your voice is allowed to get high.