Dangerous Cargo (1996) is listed at IMDB as a thriller, is supposedly not available for sale, yet is rated 7.8 with only 6 votes. It turned up on one of the bargain sets I mentioned last night. Rosemarie Belden wrote this, and stared in it. She is an older woman, who gets involved with a Russian immigrant who was brought to the us by the Russian Mafia, and is trying to break free and become a resident. He is coerced into getting her to invest in some shady shipment of winter coats, which are diverted in Moscow to the mobs warehouse.
The exposure is during the opening credits. Olga Vodin, as a Russian girl brought over by the mob for special tasks, seduces someone who is killed by the head of the Russian gangsters in the US. We see her tiny breasts, and most of her buns wearing panties in a dark scene. The acting is universally bad, the plot is drivel, the sound is nearly impossible to hear at times, and the part that Beldon wrote for herself clearly shows that she doesn't realize her age or lack of talent. This is awful in every possible way, including a bad transfer. F.
"Two Moon Junction"
Two Moon Junction (1988), the Zalman King erotica, is a redo for me. My images didn't do justice to the Full Frontal nudity from Sherilyn Fenn the first time around, and I completely ignored the breast exposure from Kristy McNichol. As a quick reminder, King makes erotica about women's desires and fantasies, thus the stories are best appreciated by women, but he has more than enough nudity to appeal to men as well. This is the story of a Southern Belle who is about to be married, but discovers her libido with a hunk of a Yankee carni worker.
This, and Wild Orchid, are probably Kings best efforts, and I admit to enjoying this one. It is as good as couples soft-core gets. C+.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Here are the info pages from yesterday's pics
- Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated.
Among his contributions this week are some international stars.
- The eccentric American actress Anna Thomson,
who is even more popular in France than Le Gran Jerry, does full
frontal nudity in "Bridget". Bridget is directed by the same guy
who directed Thomson in "Fast Food Fast Women" - see Tuna's
column in yesterday's Fun House. That director, Amos Kollek, has
more or less enlisted the delicately built, large-breasted Anna
Thomson Levine as his designated star. She has also been in at
least five (those two plus Fiona, Sue, Beirut) of his films
- Geraldine Chaplin stands there stark naked in
her notorious frontal scene in "Welcome to L.A.". I guess
Charlie has seen these two movies on DVD's from another region.
I would like a region 1 DVD of Welcome to L.A., but it has been
slow in coming.
- New encyclopedia volumes for: Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Ann
and Vicki Michelle, Julie Michaels, Shirley MacLaine, Mason
Marconi, Ann Margret, Lori Dawn Messuri, Eiko Matsuda, Marlee
- the lost episode of Friends -
Phoebe believes she is a gynecologist
The Sun says Iraqis are hiding chemical and biological weapons at
home. The Sun? Why is The Sun interested? Are the Iraqis naked
or playing soccer? Actually, they're not hiding them from
inspectors. They're just hiding them from the kids to avoid
messing up the Christmas surprise. Come x-mas, they'll be under
the tree. Oh, dad, thanks. My first weapons of mass destruction.
Can we go out with them later and take a hostage? Can we? Please.
Please. Although international sanctions have cut into Iraq's
economy, years ago many Iraqi kids grew up in 2-hostage families.
And who among us can ever forget the look of pride in the eyes of
an Iraqi mom when her boy takes his first hostage.
- French filmmaker looks at
loveable Uncle Saddam. "Saddam loves to eat fish,
especially ones he caught himself. Fishing with grenades seems to
do the trick." I didn't make that up, by the way. That's what the
story says. "Uncle Saddam" airs November 26 at 7:00 p.m. Eastern
on Cinemax. Is this for real? Sure seems like a put-on.
new tape may indicate that Al Gore is alive
- Mystery solved.
JFK assassination film to be digitally remastered. DVD to
include director's cut, deleted scenes purportedly show LBJ
blazing away at Kennedy with twin six shooters, screaming "yippy-ki-yo.
Who's the president now, motherfucker?"
Charles Barkley reaming out an ass.
- Mark Wahlberg
goes berserk in Paris hotel room
- the new trend in spousal abuse.
Scott Stapp, of rock group Creed, gets the ever-lovin' stink beat
out of him by his ex-wife
Tom Cruise to marry Penelope Cruz. I got lost on that one. I
thought they broke up ages ago.
- Turns out it was a woman who called Bush a moron, the Canadian
Prime Minister Chretien refused to accept her resignation.
Chretien insisted that Bush is still not a moron. Chirac? That's
- Cool -
the political humor archives
nuclear sub set to strike US from Lake Michigan. Don't panic
just yet. It's from Weekly World News.
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick
Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
- Elizabeth McGovern, breasts and bum are in plain view, plus there is a subtle bit of bush as well in scenes from her Oscar nominated performance in "Ragtime" (1981).
Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
'Caps and commetns by Hankster:
A little variety today. First we have Sybil Danning, Lynda Wiesmeier (What a chest), and Lori Sutton all showing their stuff in Andy Sadaris's "Malibu Express". Then today's "Babe in Bondage" is Melissa Brown in "Carnage Road", no nudity but if your squeamish skip the last cap as she gets a blade through the head. Don't waste your money on this movie.
- Sybil Danning, breast exposure and bikini views.
- Lynda Wiesmeier, the former Heffer (July '82) topless!
- Lori Sutton, topless in a love scene.
- Melissa Brown
|'Caps by Helvete of the UK actress in "Claire Dolan" (1998). Breast exposure in all of these, plus bare bum in #9.
|Nude scans of the famous supermodel. Full frontal in #1 and topless in #2.
||Topless 'caps by Nicnac from the from "Ted Bundy". The 2002 movie about the the famous serial killer.
||Some cleavage and upskirts from the Aussie singer.
|Ann Catherine Lacroix
|Scans and comments by Blackshine:
Nothing special (no nudity)...just one of my all-time fav models, so i had to scan her :)
|Sexy poses of the UK TV host.
Here's the breakdown:
Link #1...metal bikini
Link #2...a full body nude pose with hands covering up the goods south of the border, and silly lighting making the breasts hard to see.
Link #3...bare bum and a side breast view
Link #4...extreme see-thru breast exposure.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
BLAME CANADA! CANUCKLEHEAD CALLS BUSH "MORON"
She Must Be French-Canadian - Thursday, an aide to Canadian Prime Minister
Jean Chretien reportedly called President Bush a "moron" for expecting NATO
to back military action against Iraq. It backfired: Chretien hurriedly
said Bush is his friend and is not a moron, other Canadian politicians
condemned the aide for harming relations with the U.S., the aide may be
fired, and on top of all that, NATO agreed to Bush's request.
Bush said, "I can speak Canadian: 'Who's the moron now, eh?'"
Lesson 1 in diplomacy: "Never call the guy with all the smart bombs a
Bush doesn't listen to Canada: he thinks Estevan, Saskatchewan, is an
Some Canadians, like Peter Jennings, can convey the same message just by
rolling their eyes a little.
You could ask Dick Gephardt and Tom Daschle if they still think Bush is
a moron, but their office phones have been disconnected.
MICHAEL JACKSON CREEPY BEHAVIOR UPDATE
Ooh, Tough Call! - Child protection officers in California are reportedly
holding secret meetings to decide if Michael Jackson is fit to be a parent.
Hope they decide soon. Michael hates to be left dangling.
The only qualification he has for parenting is that he lactates.
World's Worst Job - There are rumors Michael is traveling with a double: he
waved to fans from his hotel balcony in Germany Thursday, went in, then
someone dressed in identical clothes but with a sheet over his head stepped
out and waved.
It had to be a double: Michael Jackson would NEVER appear in public with
a cloth over his face.
It was Michael: the sheet was to keep the wind from blowing his nose
Did the double have plastic surgery to look like Michael, or did he just
stick his face into a food processor?
NEW "BACHELOR" TWIST
It Wasn't True Love?! I'm Crushed! - Despite that romantic proposal that
ended "The Bachelor," it was reported Thursday that it was filmed two
months ago, Aaron and Helene have only gotten together twice since, and
Helene said if they don't get married, she's keeping the ring.
Damn! If he could just get that ring back, he could propose to Brooke!
That alone should tell him he picked the wrong one.
Couldn't Get Off The Runway - "The Bachelor" drew a whopping 24.2 million
viewers, trouncing "The West Wing" and leaving the Victoria's Secret
Lingerie Show a far-distant third.
Actually, it was watched by millions of guys who were afraid to admit
The only person who watched the lingerie show: The Bachelor.