"Even Cowgirls Get the Blues"
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (1993) is an attempt to bring a book I personally love to the screen. While they sort of had the main characters right, and the photography was very nice. they did a miserable job of conveying the substance of the book. The book is all about attitude, and the plot is just a loose framework to hang it on. In workmanlike adaptation fashion, they streamlined the plot, made it a linear narrative, changed it to essentially a love story, and then did a rather straightforward presentation of the plot.
The story concerns Sissy Hankshaw, who was born with grossly oversized thumbs, and so naturally grew up to be the worlds greatest hitchhiker. When she wasn't thumbing, she worked as a model for the countess, a gay feminine hygiene product Tzar. He also owned the Rubber Rose Ranch, a fat farm named after his popular douche bag. The ranch also sported a few cattle, wrangled by a bunch of cowgirls, led by Bonanza Jellybean. Other key players are the Chink (a Japanese American hermit played by Pat Morrita) and Delores Del Ruby, a former circus performer, whose peyote Goddess visions point out the future for the cowgirls.
When the countess sends Sissy to the ranch for a photo shoot, Sissy falls for Jellybean, the cowgirls revolt against the fat farm ladies and the countess, and we meet the whooping cranes who figure prominently in the last act. Rain Phoenix as Bonanza Jellybean shows most of a breast, and shows her bush. Lorraine Bracco as Delores del Ruby shows her bush.
IMDb readers have this at 4.0 of 10, and it picked up two Razzie nominations. There is no nice way to put it. Many times, I feel the movie made from a book or stage play I love is a lesser work, but this time, they completely failed to adapt the book to the screen. There is some question as to whether or not that is even possible with a Tom Robbins book, but they certainly didn't manage it here. D.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Wetherby is the name of a nondescript and middle
class English town which provides the backdrop for a mysterious
whydunit. (It's a suicide, so we already know whodunit.)
Vanessa Redgrave plays an unfulfilled middle aged
schoolmarm who hosts a small dinner party one evening. As the guests
arrive, a stranger appears at the door, says he is John Morgan, and
walks in to the dinner. Nobody really knows whether someone else
extended a kind invitation to this lost soul, but it turns out that
he has simply invited himself.
John Morgan returns to the teacher's house the next
morning, makes a little small talk, pulls a gun from his pocket,
sticks it in his mouth, and calmly shoots himself.
And there is our whydunit premise. Why was John
Morgan at that party? Why did he commit suicide? Why did he choose
the teacher's home to make his farewell statement? The last question
is especially intriguing to the police, because a suicide among
strangers is totally uncharacteristic. Suicides happen alone, or as
a dramatic statement made in front someone for a purpose, but not
among random people. The police inspector tries to assemble the
pieces of the puzzle, with only limited success, but we in the
audience get a significant amount of additional insight when we see
incidents from John Morgan's past, from the teacher's past, and from
additional moments during the evening of the dinner party.
The solution to the puzzle is never really explicit,
but it script maintains an appropriate feeling of ubiquitous portent
throughout the story by the unspoken parts of the secret. The story
thus stands apart from the type of mystery which functions logically
and deductively. It is inductive, and oblique. It offers not solutions, but
hints, suggestions, or working hypotheses. This
technique is quite an intelligent way to present the unraveling, as
if Harold Pinter had decided to take his elegant dialogue and sense
of foreboding away from psychological dramas about the rich and
write instead a mystery story about the educated middle class. The story did in fact have its origin on the London stage, albeit
not in a play written by Pinter but one from David Hare, who
adapted his own play into this screenplay and also directed the film.
Yes, very intelligent.
Intelligence, however, does not always make for a
My take on it is this. If you want to see a true
mystery story, you will really not care for this much at all. You
will probably sit quietly during the closing credits and think, "am
I supposed to understand the whydunits? I'm not sure that I do, even
after all that." On the other hand, if you enjoy the plays of Harold
Pinter, the films of Nick Roeg, or other works which rely on the
careful maintenance of tone to evoke a calculated emotional response
from the audience, you'll find this to be a good example of the
type. The cast is first-rate, headed by Ian Holm, Judi Dench, Tom
Wilkinson, and Vanessa Redgrave. Vanessa's look-alike daughter Joely
shares her mother's part in the flashback scenes.
I don't especially enjoy watching Pinter's plays, and I could use
most of Roeg's films as a cure for insomnia, so I found Wetherby tedious, talky, very tough going,
and devoid of true warmth. I can admire the quality of the dialogue and
the acting; I can see how it has been carefully constructed to
maintain a certain tone; and I can see why Roger Ebert felt it was
worth four stars. Some of you will undoubtedly join Ebert in liking
and admiring it. Having given a nod in that direction, let me hasten
to add that I can only be placed in the "admiring" column, not the
"liking". I just didn't feel that watching this film was time well
spent, and frankly the vast majority of you will top off a viewing by
questioning how anyone
else could possibly like this.
- From the Bad Taste department.
It's November 22nd, the anniversary of the Kennedy shooting - so a
British company is releasing a JFK assassination simulation game.:
A spokesman for Massachusetts Senator Edward Kennedy is calling
the new video game "despicable." If he hates that, wait until he
sees their new action-packed driving game, "Chappaquiddick". It's
great fun for the whole family! Well, maybe not the daughters.
FilmJerk's indispensable Early Report for November 21
- Christmas gift idea for your girlfriend:
A Pink Hello Kitty Laptop. Provided, of course, that
your girlfriend is Reese Witherspoon and she's still in Legally
The trailer for Coach Carter, with Samuel L. "Inspired
by a true-life story, "Coach Carter" is an inspirational account
of a controversial high school basketball coach, who received both
high praise and staunch criticism when he made national news in
1999 for benching his entire undefeated basketball team for poor
The greatest film critic of them all, The Filth-man, or El
Filthedor for you Spanish speakers, falls asleep during Kinsey.
LINCOLN BEDROOM FOUND IN CLINTON LIBRARY. Historic Room
Moved Piece by Piece to Arkansas.
- While admission to the Clinton library is seven dollars,
tourists will be allowed to spend a night in the newly
reconstituted Lincoln Bedroom for an additional ten thousand
dollars, Mr. Clinton said.
"Jamie kneels between the thighs of Charlotte, performing oral
sex. Charlotte sits astride Jamie, riding him." "Such
scenes are routine in drama but the difference here is that these
people are real. A suggestively bucking sheet caused fuss on last
year's Big Brother: now, a few months later, viewers are watching
film of a real couple shagging."
Wal-Mart's private database is more than twice the size of the
This year's edition of The Worst Jobs in Science. The
worst: a three-way tie among tampon squeezer, webmaster, and
Weekend Box Office November 12-14, 2004. National
Treasure 35, Sponge Bob 33, Incredibles 27. The Incredibles had
the 13th best 3rd weekend of all time, keeping it on track for
$300 million status. Sponge Bob had the third-best opening weekend
in history for a film not in the #1 spot.
2,495 Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Channel 4- Britain's Real Monarch. An historian has
uncovered what appears to be strong proof that the 15th-century
English monarch Edward IV was, in fact, illegitimate, thus
invalidating the royal claim of all the kings and queens who
followed. As it turns out, Hugh Grant should be king. Par- TAY.
John McFerrin's Rock and Prog Reviews. Overviews of the
complete careers - album by album - of many major bands. You'll
get the idea if you click on someone who has done a gazillion
albums. Try Bob Dylan, e.g.
Pacers' Artest suspended without pay for the rest of season
The man to beat for Best Actor this year? Jamie Foxx.
One thing new to me: his real name is Eric Bishop.
Obese men are more likely to encounter additional sexual problems.
Like finding their dicks, for example.
The team from Amelie, star Audrey Tautou and director Jean-Pierre
Jeunet, in a new flick.
Britney Spears says she wants out of the spotlight.
Bloggers speculate that her acne may be the reason.
Four free short videos from Playboy's Cheerleaders & College
Playmate Gallery - Gillian Bonner - April 1996 - Courtesy of
The extended trailer from next summer's 200 million dollar
blockbuster, Dubya the Movie. (Somebody put a LOT of
work into this.)
President Bush stepped into the middle of a confrontation and
pulled his lead Secret Service agent away from Chilean security
Going to elementary school with Lee Harvey Oswald.
Will the courts rule that dodgeball is too dangerous for children?
It can be tough. Especially the training with the wrenches.
Keeping library books too long could soon land some readers in
jail. Wasn't this concept already covered in an early
episode of Seinfeld, the one with Philip Baker Hall as the tough
Astronomy Pic of the Day - Spiral Galaxies in Collision
Trivia for Closer, the film where Portman plays a stripper. (2004)
"At the beginning of filming, Natalie Portman gave Julia Roberts a
necklace that said 'cunt' in honor of their characters' foul
mouths. At the end of filming, Julia Roberts gave Natalie Portman
a necklace that said 'lil' cunt'."
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
Single White Female (2004)
Tuna and I
have discussed this before.
Lots o' nudity from JJL and Bridget Fonda. Here's
the first installment.
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
Words, pictures, and vids from
Widows - 1998
Three actresses can be seen in various stages of undress
in the 1998 German comedy "Widows-Erst die Ehe, dann das
Vergnügen" (first marriage, then pleasure). The best
known of the "triumfeminate" is of course Italian Ornella
Muti. German Katja Flint is not shy about her goodies
either and both ladies have their own entry in the
encyclopedia. Finally Gruschenka Stevens learns us that
you shouldn't let a phone call distract you from your
regular activities. There's several collages of her too
when you search the back issues. These clips however give
you the occasion to see these three actresses in motion
pictures which isn't bad I think.
Scoop's note: Off the top of my head, I can't recall Ornella
doing any nudity after 1998, so this may have been her swan song.
She did this film in the period since I started this site. She did
her first film nudity in 1970, when I was still in college. After
those 28 years, her body is still worth looking at.
Words, and pictures, from
I swear that last week, in the opening minutes of
L.A.X., when Heather Locklear was leaving the house of her lover and
turned back to speak to him, intercut in the scene was two quick
shots of 1.) a breast with an erect nipple, and a microsecond later,
2.) a man's mouth sucking on said breast.
The scene is a flashback by Locklear's
character to intimate moments with her boyfriend the night
before. It consists of four short cut shots of a couple
kissing and embracing. After watching them frame-by-frame,
this is what I determined:
The first part is a close-up of a couple
kissing with a strong backlight and soft-focus making it
look more provocative when watching it in real-time.
The second partdoes show a nipple, but I believe
it is a male nipple because it seems to be attached to a
pec rather than a breast. In the first and third part
Locklear is on the left and her boyfriend is on the right,
but in the second his nipple is on the left, making one
think that it is Locklear's nipple.
The third part is fairly clear, showing part of
Locklear's face turning from side to front.
The fourth part, where it appears someone is sucking on a
nipple, is actually an even closer view of the couple's
face and lips. In the first frame it does
indeed look like lips on nipple, but by the third or
fourth frame you realize that it is lips moving
from chin to mouth, with the illusion created by backlight
Sorry to spoil anyone's allusions, but it appears to
be something they put in to titillate viewers without actually
violating FCC regulations. Too bad.
Over here in London, we frequently get nudity on
network television after about 9 or 10 pm.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
What do you need to know about Mob Boss (1990)? It
stars Eddie Deezen. If you know who he is and you are
told that he has more screen time that everyone else
combined in this movie, you know what to do. Run.
Save yourself. Women and children first.
Mob Boss is a comedy. Or that is where the guys down
at your local video store shelve it when it gets
rented every other year. It's as funny as any other
Stuart Whitman-starring knock-off of The Godfather. A
veritable laugh riot. Not. Stupid sight gags,
horrible one-liners, embarassed actors (Whitman and
Morgan Fairchild) who know they should be doing better
work but this was all their agents could find. God
And Eddie Deezen. You would recognize him as a bit
player in some okay movies, the voice of Snap or
Crackle or Pop in the cereal commercials, a 120-lb
nerd to end all nerds. He plays the lead in this
movie. Nuff said.
Three gals get topless at some point or another. Dori
Courtney is paid to educate Eddie's character in the
ways of amour. Pleasant enough looking gal, not a bad
actress at all. Long scene with some terrific framing
by the DP (Dori's face and her superstructure but
nothing else in the frame)
Sherri Graham plays a topless stripper, Jasae a
topless waitress. Jasae you get a good look at.
Sherri is in the deep background.
That's it. Nothing offensive enough to inspire all
means and manners of invective, nothing anywhere
approaching good enough to inspire kind words. Mob
Boss is blah, just plain blah.
By the way, these 'caps and clips are are from videotape, so the quality is not 'xactly el primo.
'Caps and comments by Spaz:
"Getting Married at Buffalo Jump" (1990) (TV)
The recent CBC DVD release unlike the previous
PG-rated video release has Wendy Crewson's classic skinnidipping scene intact.
- Wendy Crewson: check out those nibs.
"Winter Lily" (1998)
Canadian horror that deals with necrophilia.
"Echo of Murder" (2000) (TV) aka "Who Killed Atlanta's Children?"
Gregory Hines/Jim Belushi crime mystery based on real life events.
Paradise Falls season II, week 10
Danielle Hampton and Michelle Latimer
have threesome with a brother-sister combo
and later have a catfight.
The Hunger: The River of Nights Dreaming aka Murder Brides
The only reason to see this episode is to see
rare nudity by Paradise Fall's Marni Thompson
who only showed her butt in the entire series.
Her character was killed off recently so this is
the only time she showed her a-cups.
- Marni Thompson: boobs and butt having lesbian-bondage sex.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
It occured to me recently that my collection needed some Jennifer Lopez. Up 'till now, the only thing I've capped of hers is Maid in Manhatten, which didn't have nudity or much of a story, either. While she did more nudity in U Turn, she also looked real hot and kicked some ass in 1995's Money Train.
Foster brothers, one black, are New York transit detectives who are always having problems with the transit boss. When Charlie (Woody Harrelson) finally goes too far, he's fired, despite the best efforts of John (Wesley Snipes). John has been bailing out Charlie for years, but this time he can't pull it off. Things are more complicated because both men are attracted to another transit cop, played by Jennifer Lopez.
Seeking revenge, Charlie decides to rob the train that transfers the revenue from each day's transit receipts, called the Money Train. Again, John tries to bail Charlie out of a bad situation, but this time, he gets sucked into the plot.
The story is nothing special, but there is a ton of action, and the actors make this movie a great deal of fun, and well worth watching. Jennifer's nudity is very brief, but still interesting. A cool, ass-kicking movie.
'Caps and comments by Oz:
The nudity in Off-Key (aka Desafinado) comes from Ariadna Gil when she wanders around naked. A very sexy Claudia Gerini is a high-class escort and she is down to her thong underwear.
- Ariadna Gil
- Claudia Gerini
"The Hitcher 2 : I've Been Waiting"
No nudity in The Hitcher 2 just some nice cleavage from Kari Wuhrer.
Plenty of topless ladies in Johnny Handsome. These include Elizabeth McGovern and two strippers, Tulia Cove and Connie Lemoine. Ellen Barkin Shows a bit of cleavage.
Diane Lane is topless in Vital Signs but, for Jane Adams, there's nothing visible.
"V Graham Norton"
Graham Norton is (was?) a tonight show host in Britain. His guests were the hosts of a personal make-over show Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine. Trinny's philosophy is, if you haven't got big boobs, show your nipples, so she does. For big-boobed Susannah, the philosophy is show some cleavage. Susannah also shows why you have to be careful walking down stairs in a split dress.
"Solomon and Sheba"
No nudity in Solomon and Sheba but Gina Lollobrigida shows a lot of sex appeal.
- Gina Lollobrigida
|Seriously, Alba must be one of the most beautiful women to ever grace this planet! Here is a production still (#1) and a behind the scenes snap shot (#2) from her upcoming movie "Into the Blue".
I predict that 2005 will be "The Summer of Alba". She has 3 movies scheduled for release next summer including: Robert Rodriguez's "Sin City", the big screen adaptation of "Fantastic Four" as well as "Into the Blue".
||The former "MAD TV" castmember showing her big'uns in a side view while she rides a dude, and also walking around in see-thru lingerie. Scenes from the movie "Skin Deep" (2003).
|Señor Skin 'caps of the "Mission: Impossible" star topless in a couple of scenes from the French movie, "Nathalie..." (2003).