"Even Cowgirls Get the Blues"

Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (1993) is an attempt to bring a book I personally love to the screen. While they sort of had the main characters right, and the photography was very nice. they did a miserable job of conveying the substance of the book. The book is all about attitude, and the plot is just a loose framework to hang it on. In workmanlike adaptation fashion, they streamlined the plot, made it a linear narrative, changed it to essentially a love story, and then did a rather straightforward presentation of the plot.

The story concerns Sissy Hankshaw, who was born with grossly oversized thumbs, and so naturally grew up to be the worlds greatest hitchhiker. When she wasn't thumbing, she worked as a model for the countess, a gay feminine hygiene product Tzar. He also owned the Rubber Rose Ranch, a fat farm named after his popular douche bag. The ranch also sported a few cattle, wrangled by a bunch of cowgirls, led by Bonanza Jellybean. Other key players are the Chink (a Japanese American hermit played by Pat Morrita) and Delores Del Ruby, a former circus performer, whose peyote Goddess visions point out the future for the cowgirls.

When the countess sends Sissy to the ranch for a photo shoot, Sissy falls for Jellybean, the cowgirls revolt against the fat farm ladies and the countess, and we meet the whooping cranes who figure prominently in the last act. Rain Phoenix as Bonanza Jellybean shows most of a breast, and shows her bush. Lorraine Bracco as Delores del Ruby shows her bush.

IMDb readers have this at 4.0 of 10, and it picked up two Razzie nominations. There is no nice way to put it. Many times, I feel the movie made from a book or stage play I love is a lesser work, but this time, they completely failed to adapt the book to the screen. There is some question as to whether or not that is even possible with a Tom Robbins book, but they certainly didn't manage it here. D.

  • Thumbnails

  • Lorraine Bracco (1, 2, 3)
  • Rain Phoenix (1, 2, 3)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    • There are about 300 new pics in volumes C, D, and E. Updated volumes are highlighted in yellow.


    "Wetherby" (1985)

    Wetherby is the name of a nondescript and middle class English town which provides the backdrop for a mysterious whydunit. (It's a suicide, so we already know whodunit.)

    Vanessa Redgrave plays an unfulfilled middle aged schoolmarm who hosts a small dinner party one evening. As the guests arrive, a stranger appears at the door, says he is John Morgan, and walks in to the dinner. Nobody really knows whether someone else extended a kind invitation to this lost soul, but it turns out that he has simply invited himself.

    John Morgan returns to the teacher's house the next morning, makes a little small talk, pulls a gun from his pocket, sticks it in his mouth, and calmly shoots himself.

    And there is our whydunit premise. Why was John Morgan at that party? Why did he commit suicide? Why did he choose the teacher's home to make his farewell statement? The last question is especially intriguing to the police, because a suicide among strangers is totally uncharacteristic. Suicides happen alone, or as a dramatic statement made in front someone for a purpose, but not among random people. The police inspector tries to assemble the pieces of the puzzle, with only limited success, but we in the audience get a significant amount of additional insight when we see incidents from John Morgan's past, from the teacher's past, and from additional moments during the evening of the dinner party.

    The solution to the puzzle is never really explicit, but it script maintains an appropriate feeling of ubiquitous portent throughout the story by the unspoken parts of the secret. The story thus stands apart from the type of mystery which functions logically and deductively. It is inductive, and oblique. It offers not solutions, but hints, suggestions, or working hypotheses. This technique is quite an intelligent way to present the unraveling, as if Harold Pinter had decided to take his elegant dialogue and sense of foreboding away from psychological dramas about the rich and write instead a mystery story about the educated middle class. The story did in fact have its origin on the London stage, albeit not in a play written by Pinter but one from David Hare, who adapted his own play into this screenplay and also directed the film.

    Yes, very intelligent.

    Intelligence, however, does not always make for a good film.

    My take on it is this. If you want to see a true mystery story, you will really not care for this much at all. You will probably sit quietly during the closing credits and think, "am I supposed to understand the whydunits? I'm not sure that I do, even after all that." On the other hand, if you enjoy the plays of Harold Pinter, the films of Nick Roeg, or other works which rely on the careful maintenance of tone to evoke a calculated emotional response from the audience, you'll find this to be a good example of the type. The cast is first-rate, headed by Ian Holm, Judi Dench, Tom Wilkinson, and Vanessa Redgrave. Vanessa's look-alike daughter Joely shares her mother's part in the flashback scenes.

    I don't especially enjoy watching Pinter's plays, and I could use most of Roeg's films as a cure for insomnia, so I found Wetherby tedious, talky, very tough going, and devoid of true warmth. I can admire the quality of the dialogue and the acting; I can see how it has been carefully constructed to maintain a certain tone; and I can see why Roger Ebert felt it was worth four stars. Some of you will undoubtedly join Ebert in liking and admiring it. Having given a nod in that direction, let me hasten to add that I can only be placed in the "admiring" column, not the "liking". I just didn't feel that watching this film was time well spent, and frankly the vast majority of you will top off a viewing by questioning how anyone else could possibly like this.



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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
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    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.


    Single White Female (2004)

    Tuna and I have discussed this before.

    Lots o' nudity from JJL and Bridget Fonda. Here's the first installment.


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.


    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS

    Widows - 1998

    Three actresses can be seen in various stages of undress in the 1998 German comedy "Widows-Erst die Ehe, dann das Vergnügen" (first marriage, then pleasure). The best known of the "triumfeminate" is of course Italian Ornella Muti. German Katja Flint is not shy about her goodies either and both ladies have their own entry in  the encyclopedia. Finally Gruschenka Stevens learns us that you shouldn't let a phone call distract you from your regular activities. There's several collages of her too when you search the back issues. These clips however give you the occasion to see these three actresses in motion pictures which isn't bad I think.  

    Scoop's note: Off the top of my head, I can't recall Ornella doing any nudity after 1998, so this may have been her swan song. She did this film in the period since I started this site. She did her first film nudity in 1970, when I was still in college. After those 28 years, her body is still worth looking at.

    Clifton Santiago

    Words, and pictures, from Clifton Santiago


    I swear that last week, in the opening minutes of L.A.X., when Heather Locklear was leaving the house of her lover and turned back to speak to him, intercut in the scene was two quick shots of 1.) a breast with an erect nipple, and a microsecond later, 2.) a man's mouth sucking on said breast.

    The scene is a flashback by Locklear's character to intimate moments with her boyfriend the night before. It consists of four short cut shots of a couple kissing and embracing. After watching them frame-by-frame, this is what I determined:

    The first part  is a close-up of a couple kissing with a strong backlight and soft-focus making it look more provocative when watching it in real-time.

    The second partdoes show a nipple, but I believe it is a male nipple because it seems to be attached to a pec rather than a breast. In the first and third part Locklear is on the left and her boyfriend is on the right, but in the second his nipple is on the left, making one think that it is Locklear's nipple.

    The third part is fairly clear, showing part of Locklear's face turning from side to front.

    The fourth part, where it appears someone is sucking on a nipple, is actually an even closer view of the couple's face and lips. In the first frame  it does indeed look like lips on nipple, but by the third or fourth frame you realize that it is lips moving from chin to mouth, with the illusion created by backlight and focus.

    Sorry to spoil anyone's allusions, but it appears to be something they put in to titillate viewers without actually violating FCC regulations. Too bad.

    Over here in London, we frequently get nudity on network television after about 9 or 10 pm.


    Clifton Santiago

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    What do you need to know about Mob Boss (1990)? It stars Eddie Deezen. If you know who he is and you are told that he has more screen time that everyone else combined in this movie, you know what to do. Run. Save yourself. Women and children first.

    Mob Boss is a comedy. Or that is where the guys down at your local video store shelve it when it gets rented every other year. It's as funny as any other Stuart Whitman-starring knock-off of The Godfather. A veritable laugh riot. Not. Stupid sight gags, horrible one-liners, embarassed actors (Whitman and Morgan Fairchild) who know they should be doing better work but this was all their agents could find. God help them.

    And Eddie Deezen. You would recognize him as a bit player in some okay movies, the voice of Snap or Crackle or Pop in the cereal commercials, a 120-lb nerd to end all nerds. He plays the lead in this movie. Nuff said.

    Three gals get topless at some point or another. Dori Courtney is paid to educate Eddie's character in the ways of amour. Pleasant enough looking gal, not a bad actress at all. Long scene with some terrific framing by the DP (Dori's face and her superstructure but nothing else in the frame)

    Sherri Graham plays a topless stripper, Jasae a topless waitress. Jasae you get a good look at. Sherri is in the deep background.

    That's it. Nothing offensive enough to inspire all means and manners of invective, nothing anywhere approaching good enough to inspire kind words. Mob Boss is blah, just plain blah.

    By the way, these 'caps and clips are are from videotape, so the quality is not 'xactly el primo.

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Getting Married at Buffalo Jump" (1990) (TV)
    The recent CBC DVD release unlike the previous PG-rated video release has Wendy Crewson's classic skinnidipping scene intact.

    • Wendy Crewson: check out those nibs. (1, 2, 3)

    "Winter Lily" (1998)
    Canadian horror that deals with necrophilia.

    "Echo of Murder" (2000) (TV) aka "Who Killed Atlanta's Children?"
    Gregory Hines/Jim Belushi crime mystery based on real life events.

    Paradise Falls season II, week 10
    Danielle Hampton and Michelle Latimer have threesome with a brother-sister combo and later have a catfight.

    The Hunger: The River of Nights Dreaming aka Murder Brides
    The only reason to see this episode is to see rare nudity by Paradise Fall's Marni Thompson who only showed her butt in the entire series. Her character was killed off recently so this is the only time she showed her a-cups.

    • Marni Thompson: boobs and butt having lesbian-bondage sex. (1, 2, 3)

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Money Train"
    It occured to me recently that my collection needed some Jennifer Lopez. Up 'till now, the only thing I've capped of hers is Maid in Manhatten, which didn't have nudity or much of a story, either. While she did more nudity in U Turn, she also looked real hot and kicked some ass in 1995's Money Train.

    Foster brothers, one black, are New York transit detectives who are always having problems with the transit boss. When Charlie (Woody Harrelson) finally goes too far, he's fired, despite the best efforts of John (Wesley Snipes). John has been bailing out Charlie for years, but this time he can't pull it off. Things are more complicated because both men are attracted to another transit cop, played by Jennifer Lopez.

    Seeking revenge, Charlie decides to rob the train that transfers the revenue from each day's transit receipts, called the Money Train. Again, John tries to bail Charlie out of a bad situation, but this time, he gets sucked into the plot.

    The story is nothing special, but there is a ton of action, and the actors make this movie a great deal of fun, and well worth watching. Jennifer's nudity is very brief, but still interesting. A cool, ass-kicking movie.

    'Caps and comments by Oz:

    The nudity in Off-Key (aka Desafinado) comes from Ariadna Gil when she wanders around naked. A very sexy Claudia Gerini is a high-class escort and she is down to her thong underwear.

    • Ariadna Gil (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Claudia Gerini (1, 2, 3)

    "The Hitcher 2 : I've Been Waiting"
    No nudity in The Hitcher 2 just some nice cleavage from Kari Wuhrer.

    "Johnny Handsome"
    Plenty of topless ladies in Johnny Handsome. These include Elizabeth McGovern and two strippers, Tulia Cove and Connie Lemoine. Ellen Barkin Shows a bit of cleavage.

    "Vital Signs"
    Diane Lane is topless in Vital Signs but, for Jane Adams, there's nothing visible.

    "V Graham Norton"
    Graham Norton is (was?) a tonight show host in Britain. His guests were the hosts of a personal make-over show Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine. Trinny's philosophy is, if you haven't got big boobs, show your nipples, so she does. For big-boobed Susannah, the philosophy is show some cleavage. Susannah also shows why you have to be careful walking down stairs in a split dress.

    "Solomon and Sheba"
    No nudity in Solomon and Sheba but Gina Lollobrigida shows a lot of sex appeal.

    • Gina Lollobrigida (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Jessica Alba
    (1, 2)

    Seriously, Alba must be one of the most beautiful women to ever grace this planet! Here is a production still (#1) and a behind the scenes snap shot (#2) from her upcoming movie "Into the Blue".

    I predict that 2005 will be "The Summer of Alba". She has 3 movies scheduled for release next summer including: Robert Rodriguez's "Sin City", the big screen adaptation of "Fantastic Four" as well as "Into the Blue".

    Debra Wilson The former "MAD TV" castmember showing her big'uns in a side view while she rides a dude, and also walking around in see-thru lingerie. Scenes from the movie "Skin Deep" (2003).

    Emmanuelle Béart
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the "Mission: Impossible" star topless in a couple of scenes from the French movie, "Nathalie..." (2003).