"Midnight Cop"

Midnight Cop (1988) is a West German police thriller. It is now available on bargain DVD. By bargain DVD I am referring to films that are licensed for a single pressing to budget companies by the owner, who really doesn't think there is much commercial potential. The recent release of the Uncut Harrod Experiment was an example, and it came bundled with three other films for less than $10.00. The quality on these is highly variable, but is sometimes decent. They are, however, a good place to search for obscure material without spending a fortune. This particular film is part of a 10 movie set called Nowhere to Run. I don't know if the pun was intentional, but I doubt that any of the films ran very long in theaters.

The packaging would lead you to believe that the film stars Morgan Fairchild, Frank Stallone and Michael York. Fairchild had only a minor part. We do see her nude, but with the important parts carefully covered. We also see her being groped in a pair of skimpy panties. Several unknowns show breasts, and the murder victim that sets the plot in motion shows everything. After two hours of research, I was still unable to identify her, but perhaps one of you who know more about German actresses can help there.

The actual star of the film is Armin Mueller-Stahl, who plays a police investigator. He is a very conflicted person, both because he is not allowed to see his daughter after a messy divorce, and because a bust went bad, a small girl was shot, and he blames himself. He has been assigned a new female assistant, and someone murders a junkie hooker. Evidence points to the pusher/pimp, but Mueller-Stahl soon suspects that the truth lies elsewhere. As a matter of fact, the very attentive viewer can figure it out in the first ten minutes. Although I usually do pretty well at this, I missed the two important clues at the beginning. The plot got a little muddled in the third act, and Mueller-Stahl's performance is really the only strong point of the film.

IMDB readers say 3.8 of 10, based on 13 votes. There are no reviews that I could find. It is decidedly not a well made film, and the editing was sometimes jarring, but it did hold my interest. It was either filmed in English, filmed twice, once in German and once in English, or was another of those great German dubbing jobs, but the dialogue was not a problem. It has been available on VHS under the title Killing Blue. I will give it a C-. It is not a great genre effort, but there are rewards for those that stick with it.

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  • Morgan Fairchild (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Victim (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    "Fast Food Fast Women"

    Fast Food Fast Women (2000) is a quirky romantic comedy that defines itself in the first scene. The star, Bella (Anna Thompson, aka Anna Levine, Anna Thomson) lies down flat on her back in the middle of a New York Street. A car screeches to a halt, the driver runs up to her, and asks if she is ok. Then he asks what she is doing. Her answer? "I'm just trying to put some excitement in my Sunday." The tone being set, we learn that Bella is 35, works as a waitress in a diner where she is held in high regard, has been engaged practically forever to a married stage producer, and is dreading her 35 birthday.

    Her smother sets her up with a divorced man, who is a relative of a friend (Jamie Harris). One of her friends advises her to say that she hates kids, so she won't scare him off. What they don't know is that he loves kids, and his ex wife recently dumped their daughter, and a son she had after they broke up on him. As the trailer says, New York is too big a place for only one love story. Three old men are regulars at the diner, and one of them answers a personals add, and meets Mary Hartman herself, Louise Lasser. Another of the men develops a thing for a dancer in a peep show, who claims to have her doctorate in Jungian psychology, but works mainly in fantasy fulfillment. Throw in a stuttering Polish prostitute who can't get many tricks, because they can't understand her sales pitch, and you have the major players.

    This film is not at all grounded in reality, as most of the above characters interact in what would be a set of one million to one coincidences, and there are fairy tale events in the third act. All of the exposure is from Anna Thompson. First, we see her in a bath from the waist up, as she sits up and answers the phone. Then, we see her twice in a quaint ritual where she walks out on the fire excape, takes off the towel she dries herself with, and throws it to the street. There are definite breasts, buns through the railing, and possibly bush, but it is a long shot and hard to tell.

    IMDB readers have this at 6.5 of 10. Ebert savaged it, complaining mostly about Thompson, and feeling that the film should have focused on the Lasser relationship. Rotten Tomatoes has it 55%, with 42% from top critics. I adored the film, precisely because of the offbeat energy, and the fact that I really liked Thompson's character. The other romances were also touching in their own way. Despite the fact that the film was not grounded in reality, it did ring true in the way peoples fears and insecurities affect the way they relate to others. I suppose the proper score is C-, but I strongly recommend it to fans of odd little films.

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  • Anna Thomson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    I'll have the info pages ready tomorrow. Here's the down-and-dirty

    Red Heat is a mismatched-buddy-cop film. James Belushi is a gregarious, wisecrackin', rule-breakin', slob of a good Chicago cop. Ah-nold is a disciplined, asocial, Russian cop with no sense of humor. Together they must team up to defeat some crap or another.  I was surprised because I didn't remember any nudity from the last time I watched this. In fact, there is a gyno shot in the hooker scene, and just a whole bunch of nekkid folks in the opening scene. Given those same two scenes, this film may hold the all-time record for naked fat guys.

    • Gretchen Palmer (The gyno shot is the last one. It is brief, dark, and motion-blurred, but there it all is) (1, 2, 3)
    • Gina Gershon. Maybe no nudity at all, I'm not sure, but worth a quick peek.
    • some commies (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Serpico is the famous true story of one eccentric, honest cop and his battle against endemic corruption in NYPD. Good movie, albeit repetitious and maybe too long. Al Pacino wearing silly disguises. Great New York locales in all boroughs. Nudity.

    • Unknown victim. Again I was surprised. After watching this movie in the past, even after watching it a couple of hours ago, I didn't realize there was frontal nudity. Then I started to modify the light points of the images and - voila! - there it is! (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Cornelia Sharpe - If IMDb is correct, Cornelia just made a comeback, appearing in a movie at age 54, after being absent from films for 20 years! I guess it could be true, although it sounds unlikely. Unfortunately, she may have chosen the worst film made since she retired - Pluto Nash. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    I never heard of Durdy Game and neither did IMDb.  I picked it up in the new releases Tuesday at Blockbuster. Whatever it is, it has an all-black cast, and it starts off with a sex scene, and some goodies from Karima Karin Holloway.



    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Thandie Newton, the "Mission Impossible 2" star topless in scenes from "The Leading Man".

    • Vanity, formerly Prince's musical protégé, topless in one of her many really lame 80's movies. This time it's 'caps from "52 Pick-Up", starring Roy Scheider and Ann-Margret.

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    A simple pittance today, namely the last of the Stacie Lambert caps from Sleepaway Camp III. Might nice looking lungs on the darling girl.

    • Stacie Lambert (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Five Star
    Estella Warren
    (1, 2)

    The model/actress and former syncronized swimmer posing topless. Most folks know her best from the 'remake' of "Planet of the Apes" (2001).

    Traci Bingham
    (1, 2, 3)

    The former "Baywatch" babe showing pokies in #1, see-thru views in #2 and a thong in #3.

    Britney Spears Vidcaps of Britney in her undies from her movie "Crossroads".

    Halle Berry Halle showing some leg on Leno.

    Kari Wuhrer
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    The long time B-movie and Fun House favorite in scenes from "Spider's Web" (2001). Here she is showing off her great bum, and giving us one of the final views of her robo-hooters (since filming this movie she has had them removed).

    Helena Lindgren
    (1, 2, 3)

    B&W scans of the Finnish make-up artist and singer, by Finn. Full frontal in #2, topless only in #1 and #3.

    Lara Flynn Boyle
    (1, 2)

    The ultra thin actress posing with partial breast and bum views.

    Maria Tess
    (1, 2)

    Topless and frontal nude vidcaps of one of the guest hostesses from the E! series "Wild On...".

    Halle Berry An excellent B&W of the Oscar winner and most recent Bond babe doing an arms over boobs topless pose. Great scan by Blackshine.

    Bree Turner
    (1, 2)

    The hot young actress best known as the pet shop girl who submerged her boobs in a fish tank in "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo" (1999). Here she is wet again, covered in mud and showing some great pokies in 'caps from "Sorority Boys" (2002), by DeadLamb.

    Mariella Ahrens
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Scans of the German TV actress by Primal with partial breast views (and parital bum cleavage in #5).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    She Bared Her Soul - The New York Post reports that Victoria Sinclair, the original anchorwoman of "The Naked News" website, has returned after a year's sabbatical. She said that after 9/11, it became very hard for her to read such sad news while stripping. So she spent a year soul-searching, gardening and doing religious study, particularly of women in Muslim societies. Eventually, she said, she felt it was time to "immerse myself back in society," so she is once again reading the news naked.

  • Dan Rather went through the exact same thing.
  • She does it for all those Muslim women who can't do it themselves.
  • She realized that if she stops reading the news naked, the terrorists will have won.
  • When the news turned to stories about erecting a new tower, she knew it was safe to return.
  • She figured if she could use a Garden Weasel naked, she could read the news naked.

    A Load Off Your Mind - If you're worried about forgetting precious memories as you get older, Microsoft has a solution. They've started a project called MyLifeBits, which will let people store virtually every detail of their lives in a multi-media online database. Users can regularly upload letters, emails, work papers, receipts, photos, videos or whatever they want, and the database will automatically organize it and make it searchable.

  • Doesn't Microsoft have all that information already?
  • Isn't this the Department of Homeland Security's job?
  • Eventually, your only memory will be of sitting at the computer, uploading crap for 40 years.
  • With my luck, I'd spend my whole life uploading memories, then forget my password.

    Wow! He Really IS "Dangerous" - Child welfare advocates are demanding an investigation of Michael Jackson's fitness to be a parent after he dangled his baby son over a balcony rail. Michael called it a "terrible mistake," saying, "I got caught up in the excitement of the moment."

  • But that always happens when he's got a small boy in his arms.
  • Let's pray he never takes the baby to the zoo when it's lion-feeding time.
  • Child welfare advocates have been questioning his fitness to be a parent ever since he's BEEN a parent.

    Their Nose Jobs Didn't Turn Out Right - The weirdness continued Wednesday, when Michael took his two older kids to a zoo and made them wear odd headgear with purple veils over their sad-looking faces. Michael claimed he makes them wear masks to protect their identities from kidnappers.

  • The kidnappers will never figure out that the sad-looking kids with the masks over their faces belong to Michael Jackson.
  • The masks are the kids' idea: they don't want their friends to know they're related to Michael Jackson.