The Wings of the Dove

I was gushing on yesterday's page about what a great nude scene Helena Bonham Carter did in The Wings of the Dove, so I thought that I probably should spend some more time on it, given that famous Oscar-nominated actresses rarely open their legs on camera, especially in the role which won them the Oscar nomination. These images are not that pretty because I did a lot of tinkering with the lighting. My normal goal when I do images is to make them as beautiful as possible. That was not true in this case. My only goal here was to illuminate Helena's naughty bits, and to that I extend I succeeded, given the limitations of the source material.

Beautifully photographed movie, but the disc is difficult to work with. This DVD came out nearly a decade ago, and the source images are less than 300 pixels in height - not much more than VHS. The DVD is not even anamorphically enhanced. It's letterboxed and the a/r is 2.35:1. Very difficult combination.

I will be the first one in line for an HD-DVD or Blu-Ray version of this film, which would render images 1920x817 - approximately three times as many lines of data as I had to work with here.

Anyway, here's what I came up with.


And here's my review from God only knows how long ago.



* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








The Beast of Bray Road


The Beast of Bray Road (2005) was a direct-to-bargain-bin horror offering. It is a supposedly true story of a werewolf in Wisconsin where, as you probably know, nearly three of every ten residents are in fact lycanthropes. There are so many werewolves there that they have to cross state lines in order to avoid attacking one another.

When people go missing and an eyewitness says a monster did it, the crack deputy immediately recognizes that description as the Beast of Bray Road. Remarkable police work from an otherwise totally inept deputy. I was about ready to write this off completely, when the film got clever. The new sheriff from New York wanted to keep everything quiet so nobody would get in the way of the investigation, but the outgoing female sheriff knew a cash cow (or cash wolf) when she saw one, and decided that if a deer hunting tag was worth ten bucks, a werewolf tag must be worth fifty. Then the director inserted some bare breasts from two women, always a good thing. Finally, the script managed to surprise me with the ending. Very few monster films manage to do that.

432 IMDb readers say 2.7 - accurate enough in theory, but completely oblivious to the film's potential for group ridicule, MST300 style. This is a great bad movie, and just the thing for a mockery party.

Beast of Bray Road

I will never understand the vagaries of DVD distribution, but this is available in a German DVD from with a German and an English sound track. It also sports a nice anamorphic Widescreen transfer.

Maija Polsley and Noel Thurman show breasts.



Maija Polsey



Noel Thurman












I never get tired of this one. Demi was so hot.






Notes and collages

The Ballad of Cable Hogue

Part 3 of ?

Stella Stevens








The Canterbury Tales

Back in the early 70s, just before he went completely over the edge with Salo,  Pier Paolo Pasolini decided to bring some of the ribald classics to film in X-rated versions, or at least hard Rs. He did the Decameron, then Canterbury Tales, then 1001 Nights.

Here's his raunchy interpretation of Chaucer, which starred the venerable character actor Hugh Griffith. (You'll see his familiar craggy countenance in the clips.)


More clips

Sonia Rolland in C'est beau une ville la nuit. It's a short clip, but a clear topless view. Beautiful woman. French, but born in Rwanda, she was Miss France in 2000.



Johnny Moronic takes on the "extended stripping" version of I Know Who Killed Me


I don't really remember Maria Isabel Lopez or this 1985 Filipino movie, but she's cute and it's a great nude scene.


Speaking of Lopezes, here's a great picture of J-Lo in a see-through top






The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...

Republican Mike Huckabee is rising in the polls as he continues to pick up the flashiest endorsements.  First, it was Ted Nugent, then Chuck Norris, and Tuesday, flamboyant pro wrestler Ric "Nature Boy" Flair, famous for his blonde pompadour and fur-trimmed, sequined robes, declared, "Mike Huckabee is the man!  Whooooooo!"  In accepting the accolade, Huckabee stated, "Ric's endorsement will help us put a figure-four leglock on our opponents."

*  Except Hillary.That image is just too disturbing.

The same week that British retailer Marks & Spencer announced that they would start carrying a line of J-cup bras, the bra maker Triumph released a study confirming that British women have the biggest boobs in Europe.  57 percent of them wear D-cups, while only 6 percent are A-cups.  They were followed by women from Denmark and the Netherlands. The smallest boobs in Europe are in Italy, where 68 percent are A-cups and only 10 percent are D-cups.

*  Turns out Roberto Benigni is the only giant boob in Italy. 

A Stanford University study found that people who use a pedometer to measure how much they walk are in better shape because they walk about a mile (2,000 steps) more every day than those who don't hang a pedometer on their belts.

* Wait a second. If the other people aren't wearing pedometers, how do we know how much they walked?