Ten Year Anniversary:
Uncle Scoopy's Fun House was first seen on the
internet in November of 1995. I've lost track of the exact date, but I
think it was just before Thanksgiving. It was a free site in those
days, updated daily when I could. I updated it once a day when I was
at my desk, but I couldn't do it every day because I took 24 hour
plane trips for one thing - like Austin to Manila, for example - and
in the mid-nineties I often ended up in places that had no internet
connection at all. I did manage to update the site from a four star
hotel in Manila with an "internet cafe", but I also spent weeks at a
time in places like El Salvador and Papua New Guinea, so back in 1996
the site sometimes went many days without an update. Amazingly, the
lack of updates wasn't a major impediment to building the site's
traffic. The site got more than 300,000 unique visitors per day in the
Spring of 1996, and that was a mammoth amount of traffic by the
standards of those days, when the internet was not in many households.
We've now had a daily page every single day of every
year since the Spring of 1997 - more than 3000 consecutive days - and
every one of the updates since May of 1998 is still in the archives.
(Some of 'em are just awful!) Since the Fun House was updated with
dated daily entries and was basically the personal daily ramblings of
one guy looking for celebrity pictures, it was the very definition of
a blog, or at least it would have been if such a definition or even
such a word had existed in those days. I actually wondered if I might
have invented blogging, but the Wikipedia article says that the credit
for that belongs to someone who started in 1994. On the other hand, I
may have been the first person to use a blog for good rather than
evil, and Uncle Scoopy's Fun House may well be the longest-running
continuously updated blog in the history of the internet. Not
that anyone will ever know that except the people reading this
I'll bet there aren't many of you who remember when
I actually used to write Uncle Scoopy's comments in a character voice!
In fact, here's some trivia - Scoop has a last name. His full name is
Scoop Parking. He was a good ol' Texas boy, by the real name of No Bob
Parking. His mom named him No Parking because she was impressed by
those executives with a named parking space, and she resolved that her
boy would always have one, no matter where he went. By doing that she
also went one-up on her sister, and ol' Scoop always got a better spot
than his ne'er-do-well cousin, Two Hour. "Scoop" was a nickname he
earned because of the journalistic savvy he displayed as he traveled
around the world with Greg and managed to misunderstand every element
of local culture. The site's actual name, Uncle Scoopy's Fun House,
was ripped off from an obscure TV special done by one of my heroes,
Andy Kaufman. (Uncle Andy's Fun House, of course).
I didn't stick very long with the character voice
because Scoop's comments could be pretty damned insulting, and people
had no way of knowing that he was a fictional character. I just got
tired of answering all the e-mail from people who took it seriously.
Sometimes I responded tongue-in-cheek as Scoop, and sometimes I
responded as me, explaining that Scoop was a put-on. Finally I just
realized that I was spending too much time on that crap.
That was a long time ago.
Jesus, ten years is a long time.
My Breast (1994):
I remember Meredith Baxter very well from the sitcom Bridget Loves
Bernie. It was ever so cute, because she and her co-star David Birney
(Birney played Bernie) became a real-life couple, married, and stayed
together for many years. Meredith was attractive and bland, with the
kind of perfect diction that girls develop from years spent at Mrs.
Sconeworthy's elocution classes. I had always noticed that Baxter was
conventionally pretty, but I never realized she had monstrous breasts
until twenty years later, when I saw the first captures from My
What a shame that she never did nude scenes when she was in her
twenties. She was 47 when she did this film, and while she was not
unattractive, and still had some impressive boobs, 47 is 47, after
My Breast is made-for-basic-cable movie (Lifetime
Network) about a single, fortyish journalist who discovers a lump in
her breast. It basically serves the function of presenting the
necessary medical facts to its female audience, while simultaneously
presenting an examination of how the diagnosis and treatment affect
the patient's concept of herself, as well as her relationships with
those around her.
The cut-and-dried information about medical procedures
is interwoven with a story about the impact of the diagnosis upon her
relationship with her significant other. Her potentially fatal
encounter with cancer casts an intense light on their affair, and this
magnification process ultimately changes her perception of the balance
between his flaws and his strengths. His tendency toward insensitivity
seemed more insignificant in less stressful circumstances, when her
own neediness caused her to overlook his flaws, but the same
insensitivity in the face of a life-threatening crisis finally pushes
her to move on romantically.
The usual Lifetime Movie.
It's a true story. The subject of the story is Joyce
Wadler, who is probably the closest thing the New York Times ever had to a
recent Salon article about her column. This movie is based upon
her own autobiographical account of that crisis in her life, which
began as a 1992 article in New York Magazine and was later expanded to
a full-length book. Wadler herself adapted the book into a screenplay
for this movie.
The reviews of the book say that
it is filled with a sardonic sense of humor, but I guess Wadler set
that aside to deliver a product targeted at her Lifetime audience.
She made the screenplay treatment clinical and chose to portray
herself as a bland person. It's a shame because, from what
little I know of her, she is quite different from the straight-arrow
portrayed here. She is apparently a colorful eccentric in dress and
style. She once worked at Screw Magazine, for heaven's sake! According
to a recent New York Observer article, she sashays around town with a
leopard print umbrella and used the royalties from the printed version
of My Breast to buy herself an expensive fur and flaunt it in
Unfortunately, My Breast seems
more like a story about bland Meredith Baxter than the real-life Edith
Prickly character that is Joyce Wadley. If My Breast had been made about
the colorful character profiled in the Observer and if it were really
filled with the sardonic humor mentioned in the book's reviews, it
might actually be worth watching as a complex drama. As it is, it's a
soap opera which could
also be used to enrich high school health classes.
Man haunted by sex-hungry ghost seeks medium's help
- "A man sought the help of a medium after he got
tired of a female ghost who wanted to have sex with him
every night for the last 16 years."
- He was thinking of consulting a medium after six
months, but ... well, he was a guy, after all.
Film Jerk's Early Report for November 20
- This week's Early Report covers the 52 known new
movies opening in theatres or expanding their runs
between Wednesday November 23 and Wednesday December 28
Colts go 10-0 in offensive free-for-all. Two minutes
into the second half, they had already allowed 34 points -
and were still ahead!
High pressure car dealer with a tough-ass wrinkle.
Washington Post watchdog says Bob Woodward committed
- Thou shalt not covert thy neighbor's sources? The
most intriguing part of the article, at least to me, is
this sentence: "Woodward has indicated that Libby was
not his source."
This year's "Ten Worst Toys" from W.A.T.C.H.
- "It is illegal for slingshots to be sold in
- Man, the North better avoid a rematch on the Civil
War. In Texas kids get a free AK-47 at 7-Eleven with
every large Slurpee.
The Essex Mountain Sanatorium. Some guys get obsessed
with a mammoth abandoned building. (It used to be a TB
facility, but was standing more or less intact for some
years after its closing.)
Custom Motel Sign
Two clips from and a featurette about Tristram Shandy: A
Cock and Bull Story
- "Flipping back and forth between the 18th Century
and the hapless efforts of the 21st Century filmakers, "Tristram
Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story" is the making of a movie
adapted from the notoriously unfilmable English
literature masterpiece, "The Life and Opinions of
Tristram Sahndy, Gentlemen," written by Laurence Sterne.
The story begins with Tristram Shandy (Steve Coogan)
narrating his life story as he sees it. Crammed with
literary jokes and dark humor, Shandy's warped childhood
tales are constantly interrupted by his family and
household, inadvertently revealing far more about
himself than any conventional autobiography. At the
dramatic moment of Tristram's birth, the 1st Assistant
Director calls cut, marking the end of a filming day on
the set of Tristram Shandy. We then see Steve Coogan,
the other actors and crew through the course of a
chaotic evening on set. Steve Coogan's wife arrives with
their six month old baby, a journalist is chasing him
about a scandalous story, his agent has arrived with a
load of Hollywood scripts and the film financiers are
threatening to pull the plug. A clever, post-modern take
on the construction of a film, from an intricate
hilariously complex autobiographical novel."
The trailer for Something New
- "Sanaa Lathan plays an African-American professional
who's well aware that 42.4% of her race never gets
married. Determined to find love, she falls for a white
REPUBLICANS DEMAND VOTE ON DROWNING OF KITTENS ...
Latest Attempt to Embarrass House Democrats
Weekend Box Office Results, November 18-20
- Harry Potter opened at $101 million, the fourth best
opening weekend of all time, and the best non-summer
- Harry owns the cold weather months. Except for the
other Harry Potter movies, the best non-summer opening
weekend is far, far, behind. The Passion of the Christ
took in $84 million in February, but excluding that
unusual circumstance, the highest cold weather opening
without the word "Potter" in the title is The Return of
the King at $72 million. Considering only November
weekends, the non-Potter record is a mere $70 million
for The Incredibles.
- Although Potter had the #4 opening weekend in
history, it was not the best of 2005! Revenge of the
Sith opened at $108M. The second-best opening weekend of
this year had previously been $65 million from War of
- Casey Kasem fact of the day. Which 2005 film had one
of the forty best opening weekends of all time, but
ended up finishing with a lower total gross than another
film which opened the same weekend? That really
happened. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory opened with$56
million on July 15-17, far ahead of Wedding
Crashers. Months later, Wedding Crashers emerged as the
long-term champion, $208-$205. Charlie did about what
one would expect from its opening weekend, but Wedding
Crashers ended up with a gross multiple of six times the
opening weekend. (The norm is in the threes)
Here is the list of all-time opening weekends.
- Harry's domination didn't have any effect on the
major adult-themed movies. Pride and Prejudice held on
to tenth place with an outstanding $9,000 per screen.
Walk the Line opened bigger than expected. Derailed
- Harry did cut into the other kiddie flicks. Zathura,
for example, dropped 63%, which is unusual for a film
with good reviews and solid word-of-mouth. It just had
the bad luck to come out against the wrong competitor.
Chicken Little also fell below expectations.
- Thanks to the boy wizard, the weekend finished 19.5%
higher than the comparable 2004 weekend.
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
8MM 2 (2005 Video) is supposedly a sequel to 8MM, this time set in Budapest, and pits a US embassy lawyer, and his fiancee, the ambassador's daughter against the local underground porno syndicate, who are blackmailing them. The two visit a spa, meet a woman they think is a model, have a three way with her, and then receive a package of prints of the evening with a $2,000.00 ransom demand. If found out, it would ruin his career, and possibly the ambassador's as well, so they dive into the local porn industry to find the identities of the blackmailers, and get the prints back.
Eventually,they pay the blackmail, which has grown at that point to several million, from her trust fund. Lori Heuring, as the ambassador's daughter shows breasts and buns. Zita Görög, as the temptress, shows all three Bs, as do a lot of unidentified women in various strip clubs and studios.
Nine IMDb readers have this at 4.8. This is probably a fair assessment. It is clearly an excuse to show a lot of naked women, which is a good thing, has a coherent plot, and a surprise ending. Performances could have been much better. This is a C, as a reasonable soft core, and nothing more.
"The Second Arrival"
The Second Arrival (1998) is a sequel to the original Arrival, and it is necessary to see the original to understand the sequel. Zane has been killed, but has sent packages to his brother, a famous professor, a reporter, and a couple of others, who are to meet in an abandoned meat locker (the aliens can't tolerate cold), retrieve an alien device that is an optical Laser powered computer, and save the world.
Upset of his brother's death, programmer Jack Addison (Patrick Muldoon) hits his favorite bar, and is picked up by Catherine Blythe, who lives in his building. They have sex, and he reads the packet of information his brother sent. At the end of the meat locker meeting, he and the reporter have the alien device but not the power supply, one of the people there turns out to be an alien, the others are rather quickly killed. and it is up to Muldoon and the reporter (Jane Sibbett) to evade the aliens, the police, discover how to power the alien device, and save the world. They of course do, but leave room for a sequel.
Blythe does a full frontal in a rather dark scene. IMDb readers say 3.6, which would indicate some pretty negative emotional response. I frankly didn't think it merited all that emotional energy. It is nothing more or less than a lackluster attempt to grab a few more bucks with the original story. It has no glaring plusses or minuses. This is a C- as a very mediocre Sci Fi sequel.
We're going to uncover 3 actresses today. First we have one from France.
Anne Brochet delivers a full frontal
performance in 1991's Tous les matins du monde. (1,
2) Also in these two
clips, luckily with their clothes on, are Gérard Depardieu and his son
Guillaume. To take care of the educational side of the Fun House I can tell
you that you shouldn't be surprised to find brochet on a French menu. Brochet
is a fish, a pike to be precise.
With this knowledge on board we cross the Rhine, not to go fishing, but
to uncover two actresses who can't wait to deliver the goodies.
Sissi Perlinger would like you to take a look at her shapely breasts (and
maybe a hint more) in Der letzte Kurier (1996). Please look for
yourself, I am not exaggerating about those breasts.
Lastly Angela Roy gets all hot and steamy at age 44 with her lover in an
episode of Die Cleveren: Der Vampir from 2001.
'Caps and comments by Oz:
No nudity in blood feast Scream 2 (1997) but some nice caps of Courteney Cox, Neve Campbell and Heather Graham.
Some nice caps of Debra Winger and Daryl Hannah in Legal Eagles (1986).
Some see-through rear views of Katherine Borowitz in Mac (1992) and some interesting views of Ellen Barkin.
"Cold Light of Day"
Some side nudity from Lynsey Baxter in Cold Light of Day (1994).
"Plots with a View"
Own of our own from Down Under...here is Naomi Watts in Plots with a View (2002). No nudity, but some very sexy lingerie views.