"The Ranch"

The Ranch (2004) is a pilot of a nightime soap titty flick about a legal whorehouse in Nevada, supposedly based on a real establishment. The pilot was not picked up. As is usual in nightime soaps, we meet several of the girls, and learn a little about them, each with their own conflicts, wants, needs and dreams. One is a divorced mother, trying to be both a good mother and a hooker. Another is quitting to get married, Her intended doesn't know how she has been earning a living. Yet another is a wannabe singer. One girl has a crush on another, but the other girl doesn't know. One plays "little girl" and doesn't get along with anyone. The bar tender/cousin of the owner has a crush on one of the girls. The manager is a single mother whose son doesn't approve of how she makes a living. The newest arrival, from LA, is followed by her abusive pimp.

As is usual in a soap, the plot doesn't advance very far along any of these plot lines, and none of them reach closure. For this to succeed, it would have had to be on the likability of the characters, and I didn't fall in love with any of them. Evidently, neither did any producer. The following women show breasts:

Bonnie Root
Jennifer Aspen
Jessica Collins
Nicki Micheaux
Paige Moss
Samantha Ferris

This is a low C-. It has breasts, decent production value, and not a lot more. For those totally unfamiliar with working girls, I suppose it is somewhat educational as well.

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  • Bonnie Root
  • Jennifer Aspen (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Jessica Collins (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
  • Nicki Micheaux (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Paige Moss (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Samantha Ferris (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    "The L Word" (2004):

    Today I just took all the Mia Kirshner nudity and followed it through the series. Tomorrow, the others. (Maybe all of them, maybe not. Depends on how much time it takes.) Mia's nudity from Episode 1 is in yesterday's edition, Here is the rest of her Season 1 nudity.

    • Mia Kirshner, season 1, episode 3 (1, 2)

    • Mia Kirshner, season 1, episode 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Mia Kirshner, season 1, episode 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    • Mia Kirshner, season 1, episode 14


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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS

    From the Cool Lakes of Death (1982)

    Dutch actress Renée Soutendijk never became a star in the US although she did give it a try in the movie "Eve of Destruction", renowned for the stunning computer graphics of her. Please refer to Scoop's review of this flick and you'll see what I mean.

    She gave a much better and nuder performance however in the 1982 Dutch movie "Van de koele meren des doods" (From the cool lakes of death) about a girl at the end of the 19th century who went crazy because of ... well, lots of things actually. In clips 1 and 2 she's still more or less normal, but she goes completely ape and in the buff in clips 3 and 4, perhaps after having read Scoopy's review of Eve of Destruction. 

    Nothing is impossible of course but do you think we'll ever see an American remake of this movie starring Natalie Portman, the actress who played a stripper but didn't strip?

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Today the Ghost has vids from two movies (zipped wmvs as usual).

    First up, scenes from the movie "Death Game" (1996).

    • Korrine St. Onge shows off her silly-cones. In clip #1 she takes off her top. In clip #2 she rides a dude, then tries to kill him. (1, 2)

    • Kristina Copeland, the Canadian actress rips open her top and bares her breasts.

    • Peri Reynolds is topless and getting a massage. Nope, that's not Dubya in the fedora, just the guy that played him on the Trey Parker and Matt Stone show, "That's My Bush!". (Timothy Bottoms is the actor's name).

    • An unknown topless babe getting felt up a little.

    Next up, severl clips of Kristin Minter topless in scenes from "Flashfire" (1993), the direct-to-vid movie starring Billy Zane and Louis Gossett Jr. Minter is probably best know as 'Heather' from the first "Home Alone" movie, or as Vanilla Ice's love interest in his first movie, "Cool as Ice" (1991). Minter has made several pretty good B-movies over the years, and even had a long running supporting role on "ER", but has never really become a star. In the long run, her lack of celebrity is probably better for us since it means she's more likely to get nekkid on film.

    • Kristin Minter. Excellent toplessness in links 1-5, thong view in #6. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    DeadLamb's latest HDTV 'caps featuring prime time skin.

    Angelina Jolie
    (1, 2)

    Jolie on Leno, nothing revealing, but she's still easy on the eyes.

    Alicia Keys
    (1, 2)

    The singer showing a little sweaty cleavage on Leno.

    Amanda Righetti
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Looking quite yummy in bikini 'caps from the FOX series, "North Shore".

    Amanda Righetti Also showing a little bikini skin on "The O.C.".

    Erica Durance
    (1, 2, 3)

    The Canadian actress playing the young Lois Lane on "Smallville". She shows a little cleavage in all 3, plus she grabs her boobs in #1.

    Evangeline Lilly This is a cool find by DeadLamb. Here is the co-star of the new ABC series "Lost" doing a commerical for a late night TV telephone dating service. Before she had a hit show of course.

    Maggie Grace One of Lilly's "Lost" co-stars looking good in a bikini during Wednesday night's episode.

    Kelly Ripa
    (1, 2, 3)

    The ultra-perky actress and a talk show host wearing another skimpy outfit on "Hope & Faith". With that bod it's really hard to imagine that she has 3 children!

    Renée Soutendijk Here is the Dutch actress doing a bath tub masturbation scene in the 1994 movie "De Flat".

    Cynda Williams
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Señor Skin 'caps of Billy Bob Thornton's busty third wife going topless in a couple of scenes from "Relax... It's Just Sex" (1998). Links 1 and 2 feature some mild lesbotronics.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Blessed Are The Pabst Makers - Someone stole the Baby Jesus from a nativity scene in Adelaide, Australia, so the South Australian Brewing Company stepped in to help. They are offering six cases of beer to anyone who returns Baby Jesus. A spokesman said, "You would have thought that...a guaranteed exit through the right door after purgatory would be enough of an incentive in itself," but since it's not, they're adding free beer.

  • If they come back just for the free beer, they're definitely going through the door to Hell.
  • They have now received over six dozen Baby Jesuses.
  • They asked themselves, "What would Jesus do?" And the answer was, "Offer free beer."

    Stolen From Drew Carey - The Meantime microbrewery in London has created a beer made with coffee. Coffee Beer is intended as a lunchtime pick-me-up or a sophisticated evening accompaniment to desserts. But the brewer warned that it's not a beer to get drunk on, since each bottle has as much caffeine as a cappuccino and could make you simultaneously drunk and hyperactive.

  • Cool!
  • Their new spokeswoman: Anna Nicole Smith.
  • On the plus side, you can keep drinking it all night and never pass out.

    She Thinks She Sings Great - Britney Spears and new husband Kevin Federline are planning to bring out their own lines of his and hers clothing. A source told, "They are really hot on this, especially Kevin. He thinks he has great style."

  • Almost as great as Britney's voice!
  • What could be more stylish than a white undershirt and a sideways baseball cap?
  • You may hate his style of dress, but it attracts trailer park girls like a Free Beer ladies' night.