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Tuna
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"The Ranch"
The Ranch (2004) is a pilot of a nightime soap titty flick about a legal whorehouse in Nevada, supposedly based on a real establishment. The pilot was not picked up. As is usual in nightime soaps, we meet several of the girls, and learn a little about them, each with their own conflicts, wants, needs and dreams. One is a divorced mother, trying to be both a good mother and a hooker. Another is quitting to get married, Her intended doesn't know how she has been earning a living. Yet another is a wannabe singer. One girl has a crush on another, but the other girl doesn't know. One plays "little girl" and doesn't get along with anyone. The bar tender/cousin of the owner has a crush on one of the girls. The manager is a single mother whose son doesn't approve of how she makes a living. The newest arrival, from LA, is followed by her abusive pimp.
As is usual in a soap, the plot doesn't advance very far along any of these plot lines, and none of them reach closure. For this to succeed, it would have had to be on the likability of the characters, and I didn't fall in love with any of them. Evidently, neither did any producer. The following women show breasts:
Bonnie Root
Jennifer Aspen
Jessica Collins
Nicki Micheaux
Paige Moss
Samantha Ferris
This is a low C-. It has breasts, decent production value, and not a lot more. For those totally unfamiliar with working girls, I suppose it is somewhat educational as well.
Thumbnails
Thumbnails
Thumbnails
Thumbnails
Thumbnails
Bonnie Root
Jennifer Aspen
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6)
Jessica Collins
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
9,
10,
11,
12,
13,
14,
15,
16,
17,
18)
Nicki Micheaux
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7)
Paige Moss
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5)
Samantha Ferris
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
9,
10,
11,
12,
13,
14,
15,
16,
17,
18,
19,
20)
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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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"The L Word" (2004):
Today I just took all the Mia Kirshner nudity and
followed it through the series. Tomorrow, the others. (Maybe all of
them, maybe not. Depends on how much time it takes.) Mia's nudity
from Episode 1 is in yesterday's edition, Here is the rest of her
Season 1 nudity.
-
Mia Kirshner, season 1, episode 3 (1,
2)
-
Mia Kirshner, season 1, episode 6 (1,
2,
3,
4,
5)
-
Mia Kirshner, season 1, episode 11 (1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6)
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Mia Kirshner, season 1, episode 14
Other Crap:
- At last, a school with its academic priorities coordinated
with its campus activities.
Nebraska Wesleyan University is celebrating 30 years of rat
infestation when its Xtreme Rat Challenge event returns
to campus on Thursday, December 2.
-
It's Just a Plant - Little Johnny's first book of reefer.
"Look, Puff." ... Wait, I mean "Look, a puff".
-
The web allows people to become misinformed faster than ever!
That will probably be the great legacy of the 21st century, just
as the technology of the 20th century allowed learning and
experience to spread to the masses faster than ever. Why, in my
day, we had to go to a schoolyard or a tavern to get our
misinformation - and we liked it that way!
- Since today (Friday the 19th) is World Toilet Day, it is a
good time to sign up for
:: The 1st World Toilet Expo & Public Toilet Forum, 2005.
The seat of the Toilet World will be Shanghai between May 11 and
May 13 of 2005. Toilet Reform has really become an important world
movement, and I don't have to tell you that I am flush with
excitement over this event.
-
Here's the trailer from My Summer of Love, Pawel Pawlikowski's
movie
- Mona (NATALIE PRESS) has just got hold of a brilliant moped
that only cost a tenner. No engine but still dirt-cheap. She
lives with her brother, Phil, (PADDY CONSIDINE) who used to run
a pub before he found God and poured away all the booze. Tamsin
(EMILY BLUNT) is rich, spoilt and trying to live a life of
seductive decadence. They meet on the moors, above their quiet
Yorkshire village and begin an intense, unlikely friendship.
Tamsin is tragic and fantastical, Mona, rough and witty. Tamsin
is charmed and Mona is hooked. Tamsin and Mona want to escape
their lives but Phil wants to save them and save everybody else.
Mona wants the old, dangerous, Phil back; the brother that she
loved. Tamsin wants to see what it takes to break him. "
-
Here are the first eight minutes and four clips from Guerrilla:
The Taking of Patty Hearst. The official summary
follows:
- With "Guerrilla: The Taking of Patty Hearst," filmmaker
Robert Stone brings into sharp focus the mood of the early
1970s, a mood that inspired the formation of the first radical
domestic terrorist cell to become a media sensation in the
United States, the Symbionese Liberation Army (SLA). The SLA
wreaked havoc on the West Coast and our national psyche for over
two years, leaving behind a rich trove of paranoid recordings
and scores of violent acts, including the kidnapping of heiress
Patty Hearst who would subsequently join the SLA under the alias
"Tania." As much as thriller as it is a document of the times,
"Guerrilla" brings a striking, shocking moment in our nation's
history back to light.
-
Here's the full trailer for Beauty Shop, a Barbershop
spin-off with Queen Latifah.
-
Jon Stewart interviews Tom Brokaw.
-
The Daily Show looks at the rain-soaked, 'bipartisan,'
Tipper-catcalling circus that was the Clinton Library dedication.
-
The Daily Show's Ed Helms talks to college student stoners who
were tricked into registering as Republicans.
-
"Indiana's Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson charged into the stands
and fought with fans in the final minute of their game against the
Detroit Pistons on Friday night, forcing an early and
ugly end to the Pacers' 97-82 win. The game was stopped with 45.9
seconds remaining when a pushing and shoving between the teams
spilled into the stands after fans began throwing things at the
players near the scorer's table."
-
Ripley wants to go into space for real!
-
Director James Cameron Guest Edits WIRED Magazine,
Unveils the New Age of Space & Deep Sea Exploration in December
Issue
-
Hollywood seeks Internet2 tests, P2P oversight: "The
Motion Picture Association of America is in talks with the
Internet2 research consortium, hoping both to test next-generation
video delivery projects and to monitor peer-to-peer piracy on the
ultrahigh-speed network"
-
Sneaking into 'Seed of Chucky'. Flim critics were
banned from the advance screenings "via an e-mail that made
sporting use of exclamation points." This screening was, of
course, open to the general public, so this Portland critic went
in disguise and wrote about it.
-
Bruce Campbell isn't going to playing Ash in the Evil Dead remake
-
Deathbed confession: mom tells daughter she killed pop in 1990,
hid body in a freezer, thus refining the popsicle
concept.
-
Nine year old learns to spell 310 letter word. The word
is
ornicopytheobibliopsychocrystarroscioaerogenethliometeoroaustrohieroanthropoichthyo-
pyrosiderochpnomyoalectryoophiobotanopegohydrorhabdocrithoaleuroalphitohalomolybdo-
clerobeloaxinocoscinodactyliogeolithopessopsephocatoptrotephraoneirochyroonychodactyl-
oarithstichooxogeloscogastrogyrocerobletonooenoscapulinaniac
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Hollywood is fleshing out an old taboo: male frontal nudity
Four current major films feature the Full Monty.
-
Tito's secret underground city uncovered in Belgrade.
-
Hooters of America and a rival restaurant chain began arguing in
federal court over whether Hooters has exclusive rights to the
concept of using scantily clad women to sell food and beer.
-
The Straight Dope: Was the author of "Peter Pan" a pedophile?
-
A bushelbasket full of pictures from Oceans 12.
-
Johnny Damon's face mysteriously appearing throughout Brooklyn.
-
Want to own a sports team? Two words: ABA franchise.
With $10,000 and a half decent marketing plan you can enter the
world of professional sports ownership. Many markets still
available.
-
Coach says Sex is OK before the big game.
-
Sharon Reed: the news anchor who stripped for a report.
-
The Fifty Worst Moments in Film History
-
Mariah Carey has told fans they can now start calling her Mimi.
Hell with that. Just click on the link to see the picture.
-
Filming for a TV ad was reportedly held up - because J-Lo's bum
was too gigantic for her skimpy outfit.
- The latest 007 rumor update.
Welsh actor Ioan Gruffudd is reportedly the only actor being
considered to be the new James Bond. As I recall, Ewan
MacGregor was the only actor being considered last week.
-
MonicaAJackson.com In response to the Fear Factor Champ
Monica A. Jackson's arrest, here is a link to her web site with a
bunch of nice pictures. She is slated to appear in the February
issue of the Bunny Mag (along with six other Fear Factor
contestants).
- GALLUP:
Forty-five percent of Americans believe that God created man in
his present form within the past 10,000 years.
-
British bookies making odds on which celebrity will be the first
to strip on "I'm a Celebrity", The Sun, of course,
covers the story with topless pictures of the favorites.
-
Porn star Savanna Samson strips in a New York club, gives her
number to several men.
- At last, after 11 years, we can all exhale, secure in the
knowledge that
there will be a sequel to Mrs. Doubtfire.
-
$5M reward for al Qaeda trainer. Hey, I think this guy
was my high school English teacher, but he was Irish then.
-
A bazillion still captures and the trailer from Spanglish,
a big-budget film directed by James L Brooks, starring Adam
Sandler and Paz Vega.
-
JoBlo.com reviews the script for Syriana. This is
scheduled to be a big release starring Matt Damon and Clooney. The
screenplay is based on the book "See No Evil: The True Story of a
Ground Soldier in the CIA's War on Terrorism" written by Robert
Baer.
-
Kirstie Alley: "I Don't Want Fat Sex"
-
If Kirstie Alley really hasn't had sex in four and a half years,
then how does she explain this?
-
Could you have finished 8th Grade in 1895?
-
Advance Screening: FilmJerk.com turns a thumb up enthusiastically
for The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.
-
Billy Zane joins Dennis Hopper and Ann-Margret in the independent
feature 'Memory', a psychological thriller about a
medical researcher who taps into the genetically stored memories
of a killer. I guess all Dennis Hopper movies now must have this
exact premise. (The same summary could be used for Unspeakable.)
-
Seven clips from The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie
-
Two new trailers from the Kim Jee-Woon film, A Tale of Two Sisters
. Two sisters who, after spending time in a mental
institution, return to the home of their father and cruel
stepmother. Once there, in addition to dealing with their
stepmother's obsessive and unbalanced ways, an interfering ghost
also affects their recovery.
-
The trailer for The Pacifier "Vin Diesel redefines what
it means to be an action hero in the heartwarming family
action-comedy "The Pacifier." Diesel stars as Navy SEAL Shane
Wolfe who, as an elite member of the world's fiercest and most
highly trained force thought he was prepared to take on any duty
no matter how perilous or impossible... until he tried
baby-sitting. Assigned to protect the five out-of-control children
of an assassinated scientist working on vital government secrets,
Shane is suddenly faced with the juggling two outrageously
incompatible jobs: fighting the bad guys while keeping house.
Replacing his usual arsenal of wetsuits and weapons with diapers
and juice boxes, Shane not only must battle a deceptive enemy but
wrangle teen rebel Zoe (Brittany Snow), sullen 14 year-old Seth
(Max Theriot), 8 year-old Ninja-wanna-be Lulu (Morgan York), as
well as 3 year-old Peter and baby Tyler - not to mention their
off-beat Romanian Nanny (Carol Kane). But while drop zones,
demolitions and destroying enemy targets come naturally to Shane,
he has no idea what tough really is until he pits his courage
against diapering, den-mothering and driver's education. He's
truly a SEAL out of water, and now it's up to this one-time lone
warrior to take on the most important mission of his life: keeping
a family together."
-
Weekly World News says bin Laden has unleashed a mystery virus
that is shrinking American penises.
-
BUSH FILLS REMAINING CABINET POSTS WITH SELF.
Introduces Self Seven Times in White House Ceremony.
- Aides to the president said that the goal of appointing
himself to the seven vacant positions was to achieve greater
harmony within his Cabinet, and also to limit the number of
people who could possibly write tell-all memoirs or talk to Bob
Woodward.
-
Astronomy Pic of the Day - hi-res image of Phobos, one of the
Martian moons
-
Playmate Gallery - Alicia Rickter, October 1995 - Courtesy of
PlayboyPlus.com!
-
Four free short vids from Playboy Big Breast Babes!
- The healing continues with a few bars of Godwin's musical law:
Linda Ronstadt, hummin' an outraged tune, says of the
administration: "we've got a new bunch of Hitlers"
- Whitehouse.org brings their usual subtle, inoffensive humor to
the table with a
transcript of President Bush's Late Night, Totally Non-Partisan
Phone to Pennsyltucky "Republican" Senator Arlen Specter
-
Another bizarre, unidentified, never-before-seen animal found in
Texas. Oh, sorry. False alarm. It wasn't a new species,
just one never seen in Texas before. It was a Northeastern liberal
Democrat here for a convention. The hotel room where the guy
stayed has now been turned into a tourist attraction.
- With the election over, the healing begins.
"I would like to apologize to Jenna Bush for calling her 'a
walking DUI who could probably suck the chrome off a tailpipe.'
In fact, I have no idea if she could suck the chrome
off a tailpipe. This apology extends to her twin sister, Barbara,
whom I referred to as 'the smart, boring one who doesn't give
head.'"
-
Clinton Unveils His 'Gift to the Future' with the words
"Scuze me while I whip dis out ... "
- After losing their WWF name to the wildlife people,
WWE introduces wrestler who has sex with trees. Wait,
that isn't a wrestler. It's Ralph Nader. (They are kidding, but
give McMahon time ... )
Other Crap archives . May also include newer material than the
links above,
since it's sorta in real time.
Click
here
to submit a URL for Other Crap
MOVIE REVIEWS:
Here
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
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ICMS
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Words, pictures, and vids from
ICMS
From the Cool Lakes of Death (1982)
Dutch actress Renée Soutendijk never became a star in the US
although she did give it a try in the movie "Eve of
Destruction", renowned for the stunning computer graphics of
her. Please refer to Scoop's
review
of this flick and you'll see what I mean.
She gave a much better and nuder performance however in the
1982 Dutch movie "Van de koele meren des doods" (From the
cool lakes of death) about a girl at the end of the 19th
century who went crazy because of ... well, lots of things
actually. In clips 1 and 2 she's still more or less normal,
but she goes completely ape and in the buff in clips 3 and
4, perhaps after having read Scoopy's review of Eve of
Destruction.
Nothing is impossible of course but do
you think we'll ever see an American remake of this movie
starring Natalie Portman, the actress who played a
stripper but didn't strip?
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Crimson Ghost
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NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today the Ghost has vids from two movies (zipped wmvs as usual).
First up, scenes from the movie "Death Game" (1996).
- Korrine St. Onge shows off her silly-cones. In clip #1 she takes off her top. In clip #2 she rides a dude, then tries to kill him.
(1,
2)
- Kristina Copeland, the Canadian actress rips open her top and bares her breasts.
- Peri Reynolds is topless and getting a massage. Nope, that's not Dubya in the fedora, just the guy that played him on the Trey Parker and Matt Stone show, "That's My Bush!". (Timothy Bottoms is the actor's name).
- An unknown topless babe getting felt up a little.
Next up, severl clips of Kristin Minter topless in scenes from "Flashfire" (1993), the direct-to-vid movie starring Billy Zane and Louis Gossett Jr. Minter is probably best know as 'Heather' from the first "Home Alone" movie, or as Vanilla Ice's love interest in his first movie, "Cool as Ice" (1991). Minter has made several pretty good B-movies over the years, and even had a long running supporting role on "ER", but has never really become a star. In the long run, her lack of celebrity is probably better for us since it means she's more likely to get nekkid on film.
- Kristin Minter. Excellent toplessness in links 1-5, thong view in #6.
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6)
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DeadLamb
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DeadLamb's latest HDTV 'caps featuring prime time skin.
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Angelina Jolie
(1,
2)
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Jolie on Leno, nothing revealing, but she's still easy on the eyes.
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Alicia Keys
(1,
2)
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The singer showing a little sweaty cleavage on Leno.
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Amanda Righetti
(1,
2,
3,
4)
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Looking quite yummy in bikini 'caps from the FOX series, "North Shore".
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Amanda Righetti |
Also showing a little bikini skin on "The O.C.".
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Erica Durance
(1,
2,
3)
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The Canadian actress playing the young Lois Lane on "Smallville". She shows a little cleavage in all 3, plus she grabs her boobs in #1.
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Evangeline Lilly |
This is a cool find by DeadLamb. Here is the co-star of the new ABC series "Lost" doing a commerical for a late night TV telephone dating service. Before she had a hit show of course.
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Maggie Grace |
One of Lilly's "Lost" co-stars looking good in a bikini during Wednesday night's episode.
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Kelly Ripa
(1,
2,
3)
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The ultra-perky actress and a talk show host wearing another skimpy outfit on "Hope & Faith". With that bod it's really hard to imagine that she has 3 children!
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Variety
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Renée Soutendijk |
Here is the Dutch actress doing a bath tub masturbation scene in the 1994 movie "De Flat".
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Cynda Williams
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6)
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Señor Skin 'caps of Billy Bob Thornton's busty third wife going topless in a couple of scenes from "Relax... It's Just Sex" (1998). Links 1 and 2 feature some mild lesbotronics.
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Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
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Pat's comments in yellow...
BEER REWARD FOR RETURN OF JESUS
Blessed Are The Pabst Makers - Someone stole the Baby Jesus from a nativity
scene in Adelaide, Australia, so the South Australian Brewing Company
stepped in to help. They are offering six cases of beer to anyone who
returns Baby Jesus. A spokesman said, "You would have thought that...a
guaranteed exit through the right door after purgatory would be enough of
an incentive in itself," but since it's not, they're adding free beer.
If they come back just for the free beer, they're definitely going
through the door to Hell.
They have now received over six dozen Baby Jesuses.
They asked themselves, "What would Jesus do?" And the answer was,
"Offer free beer."
COFFEE MEETS BEER
Stolen From Drew Carey - The Meantime microbrewery in London has created a
beer made with coffee. Coffee Beer is intended as a lunchtime pick-me-up
or a sophisticated evening accompaniment to desserts. But the brewer
warned that it's not a beer to get drunk on, since each bottle has as much
caffeine as a cappuccino and could make you simultaneously drunk and
hyperactive.
Cool!
Their new spokeswoman: Anna Nicole Smith.
On the plus side, you can keep drinking it all night and never pass out.
DRESS LIKE BRITNEY'S GIGOLO
She Thinks She Sings Great - Britney Spears and new husband Kevin Federline
are planning to bring out their own lines of his and hers clothing. A
source told FemaleFirst.com, "They are really hot on this, especially
Kevin. He thinks he has great style."
Almost as great as Britney's voice!
What could be more stylish than a white undershirt and a sideways
baseball cap?
You may hate his style of dress, but it attracts trailer park girls like
a Free Beer ladies' night.
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