Zack and Miri Make a Porno


Zack and Miri have been friends since first grade, but have never been boyfriend and girlfriend, even though they live together to share their meager incomes. Since that is probably the single oldest cliché in the book, right away you know where this is going, right? Could it be any other way? Well, maybe it could, but not in the movies. It's obvious that they have to find the proper connection with one another, so we know the destination, but in this type of movie the important element is the journey, not the destination. Will we get to know both of them as people? Will we like them? Will we believe them as a couple? Most important, will be be entertained in the process? The answer to all four questions is yes. The characters have been developed well; the pacing is smooth and fast; the dialogue is hip and funny.

How do they get to the predictable destination? Film title says it all. They become destitute and realize that they can pay all their bills with a xxx video, so they recruit some other people and get to it. The key plot point (you might say the ONLY plot point) is that they eventually have to dance the horizontal tango on camera - with each other - even though they have gotten through twenty years of friendship without ever having done the deed. How will that affect them? Well, as I've already pointed out, you already know the answer and the fact that you know is irrelevant to your enjoyment of the film.

Except for the guy who writes Duchovny's lines on Californication, Kevin Smith is just about the only person in America who's currently managing to pull off the combination of raunchy, hilarious, and heartfelt. It's not easy to walk the fine line between open-hearted sentimentality and bawdy humor - the Mel Brooks line. Very few people have ever negotiated that walk successfully. In addition to Obi Wan Brooks himself, there are the early Farrelly films and maybe Judd Apatow's best flicks and ... yeah, that's about it. Kevin Smith has sort of tried before, but has ended up either with talky jokefests in which the characters are only there to deliver Kevin's own opinions and one-liners, or he's gone with the mushy sentiment and forgotten about that whole pesky humor thing (as he did in the accursed, hell-spawned Jersey Girl).

Kevin may not like to think of it in these terms because he's a super-hero comic book readin' kind of permanent adolescent fanboy (and I mean that in the most complimentary sense because we need those guys), but his ultimate destiny is to save the romantic comedy genre. The whole problem with that genre, at least from a male point of view, is that there is no comedy. Why do they even call them that? But ol' Kevin has the same streak of sentiment as the people who write Hollywood rom-coms, and he also has the ability to make people laugh. Maybe he falls back too often on easy and obvious scatological humor, but that's only a small portion of his sense of humor. He can make jokes within a wide range of styles and on a diversity of subjects, and he's always tuned into the zeitgeist.

This is a funny movie, both sweet and raunchy. In fact, it might have been a great movie if Kevin had been willing to follow the path of the Coen Brothers in bucking the traditional clichés and digging deeper into the human psyche. In real life, either Zack or Miri would have fallen in love and the other would have realized that there was a good reason why he/she never felt inclined to make love to the other. The challenge would be for the uncomfortable one to tell the truth and still keep the best friend.

I probably should set that relatively minor quibble aside. After all, this is a lowbrow comedy and not a Bergman film, so there is no reason for it to seek truth rather than to fall back on a feel-good cliché. The purpose of the film is to entertain with laughs and heart, and Kevin got that just about right. And yet I get the nagging feeling that Kevin can do much more if he's willing as many chances with his story lines as with his dialogue.

Cam-quality videos:

Lena Cheney did full-frontal nudity in the porno auditions.

Katie Morgan, who is better known for her roles in movies like I Cream on Jeannie and Garden of Eatin' (hey, who better to play a porn star?), whips out her aftermarket breasts for a sex scene with Jay, Silent Bob's decidedly unsilent pal.

Various strippers get nekkid in a montage sequence.




  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.










Jessica Jaymes in HD

Season 3, episode 8. Sample below.







This section will present Defoe's film clips to accompany Charlie's collages, which are found on his own site.

Today's clip is from the film which is arguably the most famous of all the Nouvelle Vague films that revolutionized French cinema in the late fifties and early sixties. Michel Mercier in Truffaut's surreal and often hilarious Shoot the Piano Player.







Notes and collages


Season 1, Episode 5

Marilu Henner









enter the Dragonscan

Theresa Scholze in Mensch Pia

Bonus (not from Dragonscan): Theresa in another film, Popp dich schlank!








Ana Belen in Oscura Historia ...

Jamie Rose in Tightrope

Christina Aguilera

Tiffany Shepis in Hoodoo for Voodoo

Sophie Guellemin in L'Ennui

Film Clips

The women of Jolly Roger: Bernadette Perez and Carrie Booska, Megan Lee Ethridge

Vivian Hsu in Angel Hearts

Pam Anderson surprises Hef for his birthday. (Pam is stark naked, and the clip is uncensored.)

The women of Bruiser: Marie Cruz, Kieran Friesan, and Nina Barbiras