"The Vampire's Seduction"
The Vampire's Seduction (1998) was Seduction Cinema's 3rd film, and first real money maker. The success of this film actually determined the direction the company would go in -- lesbian soft core -- and gave them the capital to become a real company. It wasn't a clever strategy on their part. The offhand suggestion was, "let's make some lesbian vampire film." It was made for about $3K, and the outdoor shots were shot in the back yard of a home. Sexy Adventures of Van Helsing was a remake of this film.
In this original version, the Van Helsing is a lame guy. Dracoola tasks him with bringing her lesbians. He spends a lot of time looking through windows, then poisons Dracoola with garlic. Dracoola was played by Tina Krause, who was in line to be the main star at Seduction Cinema. When she decided to stop doing T & A, Misty Mundae had turned 18, and stepped up to fill the position. When this was filmed, Misty was only 17, and could not appear in it. Her older sister, Chelsea, does appear in the oddest of the three peeping scenes. Chelsea is the authority figure at a slumber party with two girls credited as Jenna and Janie, and manages to turn it into a lesbian three way. We also see Kiki Michaels undress, shower, and rub lotion all over herself, and Paige Turner as a shrink and Dawn Monacco as her insecure patient doing a little nude touching therapy together, then with a pizza delivery guy.
All of the women show breasts and buns. The production quality is not at all good, Lighting was often dismal. Other than the nudity and the historical value, the best part is the commentary from producer Michael Rasso, who is also the president of EI Independent Cinema, the parent company of Seduction Cinema. He gave a very candid view of the film, and a real incite into making and distributing independent films. The film is a C-, and only if you award bad movie points, but the DVD package is one of the better releases to date, as this is on the same disk with Sexy Adventures of Van Helsing.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Birth has been a controversial film since its festival premiere. The plot revolves around a
young boy who seems to be the reincarnation of a woman's dead
husband. The lad is so convincing in this claim that the woman starts to
relate to him as if he really were the husband. The controversy
whirls around the pseudo-erotic scenes between the woman (Nicole
Kidman) and a 10 year old boy, including a kiss and a shared bath.
To my way of thinking, there should be no
controversy at all. All of those people who booed Kidman at the premiere
seem to be acting out of complete ignorance. I can't imagine that
they actually watched the film. There is one occasion when Kidman and the boy are shown in
bathtub together, but there is no nudity in that scene except
Kidman's rail-thin bare back. Birth is certainly not an exploitation
film, and there is no element of sensationalism. Every scene with
Kidman and the boy is handled
tastefully, and the entire movie is virtually a highbrow exercise in style. It plays
out like a European art film. At one point, there is an unbroken
close-up of Kidman's face for two or three minutes! It is a film with glacial pacing, dripping with
atmosphere, punctuated by classical music, heavy on the
reverberating drums in the background. It will remind you a
bit of Kubrick's approach, except it is much more sincere, taking
itself completely seriously and completely lacking Kubrick's normal level of detached
Do you think any of those protestors sat through such a film? These
are the type of people who would complain about Shakespeare because
Romeo's Juliet is only 13 years old.
Enough of the protestors. Back to the film itself
There are some indications that the film is a
supernatural mystery of some kind but, to tell you the truth, the director tends
to use that merely as a backdrop for an eerie, atmospheric examination of
grief and regret. The plot twists are not really very interesting,
not very well thought out, nor very fully developed, and there is no
big moment where the curtain is drawn back, as you might expect in a
supernatural thriller like a Shyamalan movie. After the movie was
over I still was not completely sure, for example, whether the kid
had part of her dead husband within him, or was a total imposter. In
theory he must have been an imposter who gained information about
Kidman from some letters he found, and this theory could be
confirmed by the fact that he did not know about some things that
the husband would surely have known (the existence of a mistress,
for example). On the other hand, the film strung us along. It showed
the kid being born just as the husband died. The film demonstrated
Kidman was completely convinced of the boy's identity after kissing
him. The latter could merely have demonstrated how deeply Kidman
wanted to believe, I suppose, but there were other things as well.
As one IMDb reader wrote:
If the kid learns everything about Anna from
the letters, how could he possibly recognize the face of the woman
who told her there was no Santa Claus but not know her name? Was
there a picture of her in a love letter with writing on the back
saying "This is the woman who told me there was no Santa Claus"? Was
it a picture of the woman telling her?
The author wanted to have it both ways, and to leave an element of
mystery. In context, this was excessively arty and completely
artificial. In real life, somebody would have been pragmatic enough
to confront the kid with some hard questions, and this would have
happened about ten minutes after he showed up. You might argue that
Kidman would not have done so because she really wanted to believe
his story, but she was not the only one who had had private
conversations with the late husband. Yet nobody in the film did an
especially good job of interrogating the kid. If anyone had been
logical, it would have been easy to ascertain immediately and
assuredly whether he was whom he claimed to be (as the mistress
That's what real people would have done, but the author could not
show that process and also retain the movie he wanted.
Although I found it disappointing in general, the film did have one powerful element. There is a
sub-plot in which the little boy finds out that Kidman's husband did
not really love her as much as Kidman fantasizes. In fact, it turns
out that the dead husband had a lover whom he cherished more than
his wife. When the boy finds this out, he retreats to the park to
think, and finally decides to tell Kidman only that he is not really
the reincarnated husband, nothing more. He knows he must do this,
but he cannot tell her how he
has come to this decision, because it would break Kidman's heart
to find out about the mistress. The boy could simply have said
nothing and continued stringing her along, or he could have told her
the complete truth, but he did neither, because those solutions
would have hurt her far more deeply. By
telling her he was an imposter, and by simultaneously protecting her
feelings, the boy not only proves that he really loves
Kidman, but he demonstrates extraordinary maturity for a ten year
old. Or maybe the
reincarnated husband really is in the boy's body somehow and really loves Kidman this time
around. Or whatever. Damned if I know, but it was a gut-wrenching
scene when the boy told Kidman he had been lying, because at that
point Kidman had become so convinced by the boy's original story
that she was making plans for the two of them to run away together.
The real problem with the film was not what happened along the way,
but the unsatisfying ending.
Imagine you had written the film I just described. How would you end
it? That's a poser, eh? You're probably stumped.
Well, the real author didn't do any better than you did.
NOTE: there is another scene (involving adults) in which other
observers have reported seeing Kidman's breasts. The scene was too
dark for me to see anything. Sorry.
GEORGIA SCHOOLS TO STOP TEACHING LAW OF GRAVITY.
Murphy's Law Could Be Next, District Warns
Meet the new national security advisor: Stephen Hadley, a longtime
foreign policy aide to Republican presidents.
ABC is bringing back the Jennifer Love Hewitt comedy project it
originally developed last season. The untitled project
centers on a sports producer who unwillingly becomes an on-camera
reporter on a sports TV show.
Limbaugh gets favorable ruling, sends privacy case to state
- The latest micro-minis from our heroes at
Wicked Weasel Bikinis
New Trojan Hijacks Browser, Sends User To Porn Site.
Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen miraculously appear on their own grilled
- Some funny nastiness from the New York Post:
"Star Jones has become so incredibly annoying and overbearing with
her endless wedding whine that she's making 'The View' harder to
sit through a Mandy Patinkin tribute to Josh Groban"
The trailer form the "drama/mystery/thriller" Fabled.
Joseph just broke up with his girlfriend and is not taking it very
well. He thinks she is plotting against him with their mutual
psychiatrist. On top of that, his dog is missing and he suspects
the people at work might be behind it. Then there is the
unshakable guilt over his past. It just might all be bearable,
somehow possible to live through, if it weren't for those damned
'monsters' that keep trying to kill him. Through an allegorical
'fable' that is told in parallel with Joseph's struggle, we are
left to decide for ourselves in the end, who is the crow and who
is the wolf. Is someone “out to get” Joseph or is it all in his
The trailer for Kontroll:
- This is the first film made in which every single person
associated with the picture is named Laszlo.
- OK, that was a dumb "Hungarian Joke" - here's the real scoop
on the picture: "Who has not felt at a given moment during his
or her long or a short life that he or she should simply step
out of his or her usual surroundings? To hide from the world? To
flee from the past, from himself or herself and from the
present? To disappear from the face of the earth? This moment
has just occurred. The question, however, is whether there is a
The Daily Show: "Condoleeza Rice will be giving up her main duty:
sitting behind Bush giving people the stinkeye."
The Daily Show's Rob Corddry turns an investigative eye on dueling
crappy South Jersey magazines. Talk about a specialty
Movie Quotes to Get Their Own TV Award Show
TiVo Will No Longer Skip Past Advertisers
People says, "Hey, Jude - you're the sexiest man alive."
Our perennial favorites, Pete Postlethwaite and Abe Vigoda,
finished out of the running yet again.
Academy Announces Documentary Films in Competition for 77th
Academy Awards. This is the short list for nominees.
The five nominees will come from this list of twelve films
Blue State Blues as Coastal Parents Battle Invasion of Dollywood
Values. "I'm not sure where we went wrong," says Ellen
McCormack, nervously fondling the recycled paper cup holding her
organic Kona soy latte. "It seems like only yesterday Rain was a
carefree little boy at the Montessori school, playing
non-competitive musical chairs with the other children and his
care facilitators. But now..." she pauses, staring out the window
of her postmodern Palo Alto home. The words are hesitant,
measured, bearing a tale of family heartbreak almost too painful
for her to recount. "But now, Rain insists that I call him Bobby
A new clip from Blade: Trinity. (entitled This is
Many ill-at-ease over T.O. commercial - is it racial?
How can you not love an article that draws upon Mandingo for
Kevin Spacey has officially been approached to star in Superman.
He didn't mention the role, but the common spec is that he will
Catherine Zeta Jones to appear in 'The Ivy Chronicles,' a
comedy-drama based on an upcoming novel by Karen Quinn.
Statement by President Bush Naming Dr. Condoleezza Rice as Heir to
the Position of "Colored Secretary of State No One Pays Attention
A new trailer form Clean. "Emily Wang (Maggie Cheung)
is a woman who wrestles with her dream of becoming a singer, her
fitness as a mother, and daily life without her partner Lee (James
Johnston). Her past is riddled with drugs and regrets, the result
of which left Lee dead in a desolate motel room in Hamilton,
Ontario, and landed Emily with a six-month jail sentence. The only
thing that she desires for the future is a loving relationship
with her son Jay, who is being cared for by Lee's parents,
Albrecht (Nick Nolte) and Rosemary (Martha Henry). While Rosemary
blames Emily for the death of Lee, Albrecht recognizes the
importance of the bond between a mother and her son, and his faith
sets the standard for the faith Emily must find in herself. Clean
follows Emily to Hamilton, Paris, London and San Francisco and in
three languages (English, French and Cantonese), as she battles
for a place in a world reluctant to forget the woman she has been
and unwilling to accept her as the woman she longs to be."
Two more clips from the remake of Flight of the Phoenix
Several more clips from 2046: "He was a writer. He
thought he wrote about the future but it really was the past. In
his novel, a mysterious train left for 2046 every once in a while.
Everyone who went there had the same intention -to recapture their
lost memories. It was said that in 2046, nothing ever changed.
Nobody knew for sure if it was true, because nobody who went there
had ever come back - except for one. He was there. He chose to
leave. He wanted to change."
Three clips from Hotel Rwanda. There is some Oscar buzz
regarding Don Cheadle's performance in this film.
GOP may change rule to aid DeLay. "House Republicans
proposed changing their rules Tuesday night to allow members
indicted by state grand juries to remain in a leadership post".
Why stop there? Even if he is convicted and jailed, I don't see
why DeLay can't run the House from the Big House.
- Toy safety watchdog picks
the ten worst toys.
The X-Pac and Chyna sex tape has officially been sold to the
distributor of the 'One Night In Paris' tape. It will be entitled
'One Night In China'. This is one celebrity sex tape I
can easily skip without regrets.
Here is the pre-football Desperate Wives ad that ABC apologized
- "Over the last few days I've spoken to four cinephile types at
different times who've seen Alexander, and they've all agreed that
one undisputed highlight is the appearance of Rosario Dawson's
world-class breasts, as captured by Rodrigo Prieto's
widescreen camera during an acrobatic lovemaking scene with star
Colin Farrell. Dawson should get some kind of special award, one
suggested. "She should have topless scenes in every film she's in
for the next ten years," said another."
Can you solve the 13 Enigmas?
What's new in the theaters this week? Basically three
things: (1) Nic Cage in National Treasure (2) Sponge Bob (3)
Bridget Jones expanding to wide release. Finding Neverland and
Kinsey remain in extremely limited release. Bad Education and You
I Love get mini-trials in New York
- This week's movies (sort of):
Bad Education - 83% positive reviews. Almodovar's new
film has already generated 29 reviews at RT, but is opening in
only three theaters in NYC.
- This week's movies:
The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie - only three reviews so far.
- Expanded to wide release this week:
Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason - 27% positive reviews
- This week's movies:
National Treasure - 40% good reviews (based on only five reviews).
Film Industry Files First Wave Of Anti-Piracy Lawsuits
- Attention stock shoppers.
Sears, KMart to Merge in $11 Billion Deal.
- Sad loss for baby boomers.
Phineas T. Bluster, mayor of Doodyville, has passed away at 85.
Back on e-bay: "half of a 10-year-old grilled cheese sandwich that
(she says) has an image of the Virgin Mary on it."
Presumably it is made with Baby Swiss cheese. We assume this
because (1)she is the Mother of Baby Cheeses; (2) We all know
Swiss cheese is holey.
Heres' the e-bay listing for the Holy Sandwich.
Bookies believe Sophie Anderton will be the first contestant to
quit the I'm A Celebrity jungle
- In all my years, I've learned one good rule in life.
Don't ever fuck with a Scandinavian rent-a-cop.
At least one person was stabbed in a scuffle that broke out during
the second annual Vibe Awards in Santa Monica, California.
The Vibe Awards are sorta like what the Emmys woudl be if they
were produced by Vince McMahon.
- In a simulation of the Mudd's Robots Paradox,
"Cher continues to schedule more shows as she closes in on the end
of her touring career"
BUSH OUTSOURCES STATE DEPARTMENT. World Diplomacy
Rerouted to Calling Center in Bangalore.
Jennifer Garner had to change the name of her production company,
after discovering it shared its name with a hardcore porn
An apple a day does keep the doctor away, especially a
very large apple thrown accurately.
It seems that the pop star formerly associated with Gary
Sheffield's wife is R. Kelly, but Kelly has nothing to
do with the threat to make the tapes public. In fact, the article
implies that the tapes may not even exist at all. "The FBI
affidavit does not say whether the videotapes actually existed or
whether Mosley's alleged remarks might have been part of a bluff."
(Mosley is the alleged extortionist.)
Vanessa Redgrave founds her own political party.
Four short sample vids from SPICE UNCENSORED! - the videos barred
from Spice TV.
The Playmate Gallery slides back a generation with Kym Malin - May
1982 Staplewoman - Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
The Daily Show talks about whether the Democrats should try to win
on immorality, anti-family and Satan worship.
"Gadsby: A Story of Over 50,000 Words Without Using the Letter E"
- Here, at last, is something useful:
The Single Man's Guide to Frozen Dinners
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
The Misadventures of Margaret
Parker Posey doesn't have a lot of meat on her
bones, but the little she has is assembled well.
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today the Ghost takes a look at the 1973 drive-in flick "Invasion of the Bee Girls".
- Anitra Ford topless and baring her bum as she does a little strip tease then rolls around in a slow moving love scene. Ford has the honor of being one of the original models on "The Price Is Right".
- Anitra Ford zipped .wmvs
- Anna Aries, also baring breasts and bum.
- Anna Aries zipped .wmvs
- 70's porn and softcore star Rene Bond opens up her lab coat and plays with her breasts.
- Rene Bond zipped .wmv
- Sharon Kelly, wearing nothing except white boots.
- Sharon Kelly zipped .wmv
- Susan Player
- Susan Player zipped .wmv
- Victoria Vetri aka Angela Dorian the former Heffer (Sept '67, for the year '68) showing off her beautiful breasts. In #3 we also see rear nudity.
- Victoria Vetri zipped .wmvs. In clip #1 she gets seriously groped in a near-rape scene.
- Unknown #1 opens her lab coat and grabs a boob.
- Unknown #1 zipped .wmv
- Unknown #2 strips down to her undies and shows off her big'uns.
- Unknown #2 zipped .wmv
|The German actress showing a fully nude side view (with breasts and partial bum exposure) in scenes from "Liegen lernen" aka "Learning to Lie" (2003).
||The co-host of the Aussie version of the game show "Wheel of Fortune". Here she is looking pretty darn good in a bikini.
Marcia Gay Harden
|Scenes from made for TV/cable Crime/Drama "Spenser: Small Vices" (1999), starring Fat Tony (aka Joe Mantegna).
Oscar winner Harden takes off her top but teases us by keeping the goods off camera.
Rhodes is less shy and gives up a full dorsal view.
|Twitchy takes a look at "Dorm Daze" (2003). Former Heffer Lohmann appears briefly as a topless dream girl, and "CSI: Miami" co-star Boti Bliss looks pretty darn good in black undies while playing 'Dominique the Hooker'.
||Squiddy catches the supermodel/TV host showing a bunch of cleavage at a red carpet event.
|Even more 'caps by Señor Skin from "The Ranch". The made for cable movie about life in a Nevada brothel. Naturally, all 3 ladies are topless and Aspen and Moss are both 'capped in sex scenes.
Subject: Natalie Portman in "Closer"
I recently to see a screening of "Closer", and I'm sorry to report that the rumored Natalie Portman topless scene isn't there.
In the main strip club scene, she's first seen in a bikini; then the movie cuts to a private room where she's shot from behind as she puts her bra back on. She spends a lot of time slinking around in her bra and thong, with plenty of bun shots but nothing else. Funny that
after Portman said of Mike Nichols, "He wants to see my bare ass much less than my father would," her (almost) bare ass is the only thing Nichols does show!
Subject: Vibe Awards
I'm sure someone is already working on 'caps of this, but when Ashanti performed at the Vibe Awards, it looked like she was showing some nipple in the closeup views!
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
FCC RACKING UP TV COMPLAINTS
Unreality Show - Jeff Jarvis, a blogger who writes the BuzzMachine.com
weblog, filed a Freedom of Information Act request to see the 159
complaints that prompted the FCC to slap Fox TV with a record $1.2 million
fine for the sexual content of the reality show, "Married by America." He
found there were really only 90 letters, almost all were sent by just 23
people, and all but two were identical photocopies of a form letter. So
the $1.2 million fine was sparked by just three complaint letters.
Makes sense: only three people WATCHED "Married By America."
See, your letters DO make a difference!
Must be the same three people who were upset at seeing Janet Jackson's
Desperate For Ratings - ABC once again injected female nudity into
football. This week's "Monday Night Football" opened with a filmed promo
of "Desperate Housewives" vixen Nicolette Sheridan confronting Philadelphia
Eagles star Terrell Owens in the locker room. She dropped the towel she
was wearing and leapt into the arms of Owens, who said, "Aw, hell, the
team's going to have to win without me." Only her bare back was exposed,
but the FCC got calls, the NFL complained, and ABC apologized.
Incidentally, Owens did play that night, and he scored three times.
Once on the field, two with Nicolette.
Only three people called the FCC, but they called 400 times.
Real desperate housewives do this all the time.
TOM HANKS FOR PRESIDENT?
How About Arnold Stang? - Michael Moore is out to help the Democrats again:
he's promoting Tom Hanks as the 2008 presidential candidate. Moore said,
"We need to find our Arnold," and that Americans don't expect a president
to actually set policy, but just to have a friendly face that they like and
trust. He said, "Americans love celebrities, they love movie stars, and
when they get the chance to vote for them, they do." Hanks responded
through a spokesman, "That will never, ever, ever happen."
What, him running for president, or the Democrats listening to Michael
So there's an opening for Ben Affleck!
AMPUTEE POSES FOR HEF-MAG
She'd Give Her Right Arm To Appear In Playboy - Playboy.com is shooting a
nude pictorial of Jennifer Krum, an amputee model who lost her left hand
and forearm in a car accident as a child. Krum said she might not do it if
she had her left arm, but she wants to show that amputees can be sexy.
Playboy said it's not meant to be jokey, but to give confidence to amputee
women, and they wouldn't photograph Krum if she weren't a very attractive
And if there weren't some men who are really into this.
Besides, after they finish all the PhotoShop retouching, she'll HAVE a
Yeah, I'll believe that when they photograph a woman who's lost her