"The Vampire's Seduction"

The Vampire's Seduction (1998) was Seduction Cinema's 3rd film, and first real money maker. The success of this film actually determined the direction the company would go in -- lesbian soft core -- and gave them the capital to become a real company. It wasn't a clever strategy on their part. The offhand suggestion was, "let's make some lesbian vampire film." It was made for about $3K, and the outdoor shots were shot in the back yard of a home. Sexy Adventures of Van Helsing was a remake of this film.

In this original version, the Van Helsing is a lame guy. Dracoola tasks him with bringing her lesbians. He spends a lot of time looking through windows, then poisons Dracoola with garlic. Dracoola was played by Tina Krause, who was in line to be the main star at Seduction Cinema. When she decided to stop doing T & A, Misty Mundae had turned 18, and stepped up to fill the position. When this was filmed, Misty was only 17, and could not appear in it. Her older sister, Chelsea, does appear in the oddest of the three peeping scenes. Chelsea is the authority figure at a slumber party with two girls credited as Jenna and Janie, and manages to turn it into a lesbian three way. We also see Kiki Michaels undress, shower, and rub lotion all over herself, and Paige Turner as a shrink and Dawn Monacco as her insecure patient doing a little nude touching therapy together, then with a pizza delivery guy.

All of the women show breasts and buns. The production quality is not at all good, Lighting was often dismal. Other than the nudity and the historical value, the best part is the commentary from producer Michael Rasso, who is also the president of EI Independent Cinema, the parent company of Seduction Cinema. He gave a very candid view of the film, and a real incite into making and distributing independent films. The film is a C-, and only if you award bad movie points, but the DVD package is one of the better releases to date, as this is on the same disk with Sexy Adventures of Van Helsing.

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  • Chelsea Mundae (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Dawn Monacco (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Janie (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Jenna (1, 2, 3)
  • Kiki Michaels (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
  • Paige Turner (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Tina Krause (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Birth (2004):

    (Complete Spoilers)

    Birth has been a controversial film since its festival premiere. The plot revolves around a young boy who seems to be the reincarnation of a woman's dead husband. The lad is so convincing in this claim that the woman starts to relate to him as if he really were the husband. The controversy whirls around the pseudo-erotic scenes between the woman (Nicole Kidman) and a 10 year old boy, including a kiss and a shared bath.

    To my way of thinking, there should be no controversy at all. All of those people who booed Kidman at the premiere seem to be acting out of complete ignorance. I can't imagine that they actually watched the film. There is one occasion when Kidman and the boy are shown in the bathtub together, but there is no nudity in that scene except Kidman's rail-thin bare back. Birth is certainly not an exploitation film, and there is no element of sensationalism. Every scene with Kidman and the boy is handled tastefully, and the entire movie is virtually a highbrow exercise in style. It plays out like a European art film. At one point, there is an unbroken close-up of Kidman's face for two or three minutes! It is a film with glacial pacing, dripping with atmosphere, punctuated by classical music, heavy on the reverberating drums in the background. It will remind you a bit of Kubrick's approach, except it is much more sincere, taking itself completely seriously and completely lacking Kubrick's normal level of detached irony.

    Do you think any of those protestors sat through such a film? These are the type of people who would complain about Shakespeare because Romeo's Juliet is only 13 years old.

    Enough of the protestors. Back to the film itself

    There are some indications that the film is a supernatural mystery of some kind but, to tell you the truth, the director tends to use that merely as a backdrop for an eerie, atmospheric examination of grief and regret. The plot twists are not really very interesting, not very well thought out, nor very fully developed, and there is no big moment where the curtain is drawn back, as you might expect in a supernatural thriller like a Shyamalan movie. After the movie was over I still was not completely sure, for example, whether the kid had part of her dead husband within him, or was a total imposter. In theory he must have been an imposter who gained information about Kidman from some letters he found, and this theory could be confirmed by the fact that he did not know about some things that the husband would surely have known (the existence of a mistress, for example). On the other hand, the film strung us along. It showed the kid being born just as the husband died. The film demonstrated Kidman was completely convinced of the boy's identity after kissing him. The latter could merely have demonstrated how deeply Kidman wanted to believe, I suppose, but there were other things as well. As one IMDb reader wrote:

    If the kid learns everything about Anna from the letters, how could he possibly recognize the face of the woman who told her there was no Santa Claus but not know her name? Was there a picture of her in a love letter with writing on the back saying "This is the woman who told me there was no Santa Claus"? Was it a picture of the woman telling her?

    The author wanted to have it both ways, and to leave an element of mystery. In context, this was excessively arty and completely artificial. In real life, somebody would have been pragmatic enough to confront the kid with some hard questions, and this would have happened about ten minutes after he showed up. You might argue that Kidman would not have done so because she really wanted to believe his story, but she was not the only one who had had private conversations with the late husband. Yet nobody in the film did an especially good job of interrogating the kid. If anyone had been logical, it would have been easy to ascertain immediately and assuredly whether he was whom he claimed to be (as the mistress later did).

    That's what real people would have done, but the author could not show that process and also retain the movie he wanted.

    Although I found it disappointing in general, the film did have one powerful element. There is a sub-plot in which the little boy finds out that Kidman's husband did not really love her as much as Kidman fantasizes. In fact, it turns out that the dead husband had a lover whom he cherished more than his wife. When the boy finds this out, he retreats to the park to think, and finally decides to tell Kidman only that he is not really the reincarnated husband, nothing more. He knows he must do this, but he cannot tell her how he has come to this decision, because it would break Kidman's heart to find out about the mistress. The boy could simply have said nothing and continued stringing her along, or he could have told her the complete truth, but he did neither, because those solutions would have hurt her far more deeply. By telling her he was an imposter, and by simultaneously protecting her feelings, the boy not only proves that he really loves Kidman, but he demonstrates extraordinary maturity for a ten year old. Or maybe the reincarnated husband really is in the boy's body somehow and really loves Kidman this time around. Or whatever. Damned if I know, but it was a gut-wrenching scene when the boy told Kidman he had been lying, because at that point Kidman had become so convinced by the boy's original story that she was making plans for the two of them to run away together.

    The real problem with the film was not what happened along the way, but the unsatisfying ending.

    Imagine you had written the film I just described. How would you end it? That's a poser, eh? You're probably stumped.

    Well, the real author didn't do any better than you did.

    NOTE: there is another scene (involving adults) in which other observers have reported seeing Kidman's breasts. The scene was too dark for me to see anything. Sorry.


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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
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    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.


    The Misadventures of Margaret (1998)

    Parker Posey doesn't have a lot of meat on her bones, but the little she has is assembled well.


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Today the Ghost takes a look at the 1973 drive-in flick "Invasion of the Bee Girls".

    • Anitra Ford topless and baring her bum as she does a little strip tease then rolls around in a slow moving love scene. Ford has the honor of being one of the original models on "The Price Is Right". (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Anitra Ford zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3)

    • Anna Aries, also baring breasts and bum. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
    • Anna Aries zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • 70's porn and softcore star Rene Bond opens up her lab coat and plays with her breasts. (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Rene Bond zipped .wmv

    • Sharon Kelly, wearing nothing except white boots.
    • Sharon Kelly zipped .wmv

    • Susan Player (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    • Susan Player zipped .wmv

    • Victoria Vetri aka Angela Dorian the former Heffer (Sept '67, for the year '68) showing off her beautiful breasts. In #3 we also see rear nudity. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    • Victoria Vetri zipped .wmvs. In clip #1 she gets seriously groped in a near-rape scene. (1, 2)

    • Unknown #1 opens her lab coat and grabs a boob. (1, 2)
    • Unknown #1 zipped .wmv

    • Unknown #2 strips down to her undies and shows off her big'uns. (1, 2)
    • Unknown #2 zipped .wmv

    Johnny Moronic
    Susanne Bormann
    (1, 2, 3)

    The German actress showing a fully nude side view (with breasts and partial bum exposure) in scenes from "Liegen lernen" aka "Learning to Lie" (2003).

    Sophie Falkiner The co-host of the Aussie version of the game show "Wheel of Fortune". Here she is looking pretty darn good in a bikini.

    Marcia Gay Harden
    Lara Rhodes

    Scenes from made for TV/cable Crime/Drama "Spenser: Small Vices" (1999), starring Fat Tony (aka Joe Mantegna).

    Oscar winner Harden takes off her top but teases us by keeping the goods off camera.

    Rhodes is less shy and gives up a full dorsal view.

    Katie Lohmann

    Boti Bliss

    Twitchy takes a look at "Dorm Daze" (2003). Former Heffer Lohmann appears briefly as a topless dream girl, and "CSI: Miami" co-star Boti Bliss looks pretty darn good in black undies while playing 'Dominique the Hooker'.

    Tyra Banks Squiddy catches the supermodel/TV host showing a bunch of cleavage at a red carpet event.

    Jennifer Aspen
    (1, 2, 3)

    Paige Moss
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Samantha Ferris
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    Even more 'caps by Señor Skin from "The Ranch". The made for cable movie about life in a Nevada brothel. Naturally, all 3 ladies are topless and Aspen and Moss are both 'capped in sex scenes.

    Mail Box
    Subject: Natalie Portman in "Closer"


    I recently to see a screening of "Closer", and I'm sorry to report that the rumored Natalie Portman topless scene isn't there.

    In the main strip club scene, she's first seen in a bikini; then the movie cuts to a private room where she's shot from behind as she puts her bra back on. She spends a lot of time slinking around in her bra and thong, with plenty of bun shots but nothing else. Funny that after Portman said of Mike Nichols, "He wants to see my bare ass much less than my father would," her (almost) bare ass is the only thing Nichols does show!

    Subject: Vibe Awards

    I'm sure someone is already working on 'caps of this, but when Ashanti performed at the Vibe Awards, it looked like she was showing some nipple in the closeup views!

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Unreality Show - Jeff Jarvis, a blogger who writes the weblog, filed a Freedom of Information Act request to see the 159 complaints that prompted the FCC to slap Fox TV with a record $1.2 million fine for the sexual content of the reality show, "Married by America." He found there were really only 90 letters, almost all were sent by just 23 people, and all but two were identical photocopies of a form letter. So the $1.2 million fine was sparked by just three complaint letters.

  • Makes sense: only three people WATCHED "Married By America."
  • See, your letters DO make a difference!
  • Must be the same three people who were upset at seeing Janet Jackson's breast.

    Desperate For Ratings - ABC once again injected female nudity into football. This week's "Monday Night Football" opened with a filmed promo of "Desperate Housewives" vixen Nicolette Sheridan confronting Philadelphia Eagles star Terrell Owens in the locker room. She dropped the towel she was wearing and leapt into the arms of Owens, who said, "Aw, hell, the team's going to have to win without me." Only her bare back was exposed, but the FCC got calls, the NFL complained, and ABC apologized. Incidentally, Owens did play that night, and he scored three times.

  • Once on the field, two with Nicolette.
  • Only three people called the FCC, but they called 400 times.
  • Real desperate housewives do this all the time.

    How About Arnold Stang? - Michael Moore is out to help the Democrats again: he's promoting Tom Hanks as the 2008 presidential candidate. Moore said, "We need to find our Arnold," and that Americans don't expect a president to actually set policy, but just to have a friendly face that they like and trust. He said, "Americans love celebrities, they love movie stars, and when they get the chance to vote for them, they do." Hanks responded through a spokesman, "That will never, ever, ever happen."

  • What, him running for president, or the Democrats listening to Michael Moore again?
  • So there's an opening for Ben Affleck!

    She'd Give Her Right Arm To Appear In Playboy - is shooting a nude pictorial of Jennifer Krum, an amputee model who lost her left hand and forearm in a car accident as a child. Krum said she might not do it if she had her left arm, but she wants to show that amputees can be sexy. Playboy said it's not meant to be jokey, but to give confidence to amputee women, and they wouldn't photograph Krum if she weren't a very attractive woman.

  • And if there weren't some men who are really into this.
  • Besides, after they finish all the PhotoShop retouching, she'll HAVE a left arm.
  • Yeah, I'll believe that when they photograph a woman who's lost her breasts.