Tuesday

Tuna
"The Erotic Misadventures of the Invisible Man"

Yesterday's comments:

The Erotic Misadventures of the Invisible Man (2003 video) is the newest  soft core based on the erotic comics of Milo Manara from the Rolfe Kanefsky Click Productions. The title alone gives you the main plot points. An aspiring actor shows up for an audition to do the laugh track for a commercial, and sees his girlfriend, with whom he lives rent-free, with another guy. Then, at his day job, waiter for a catering service, he is fired. Then, he spills an invisibility potion on himself, and becomes invisible. So, in a few short hours, he has lost his girlfriend, his apartment, his job and his body.

He quickly discovers that invisibility has some advantages, and ends up scoring with Gabriella Hall soon and often. The basically silly plot takes them all over Europe, and I doubt that their is a single full two minute stretch in the film with no female nudity. There is so much, in fact, that I have only done Gabriella Hall images for tonight. She was in four separate, well lit and lengthy nude scenes, and showed everything, including full frontal. I did spot crotch patches on most of the women in the film, but only briefly.
 

Today's comments:

 

Hall's room mate is a psychic who often casts spells by having sex. When she is summoned to England to help with a poltergeist, she brings Hall and our invisible man along. The only solution to getting rid of the dead devoted butler is an orgy, thus offending his British sensibilities. My favorite scene takes place in England, where the invisible man beats the hell out of a mime for insulting  Hall. Of course, to the audience, it looks like a great mime performance. From there, it is off to Italy for a screen test for Hall.

Nudity, roughly, is as follows.

Elina Madison, as the invisible man's ex, shows everything.
Kim Dawson, as the psychic shows breasts.
Leslie Olivan, as a scream queen, shows breasts and buns.
Sheila Vale, as the Brit with the butler problem, shows breasts and buns.
Stacy Leigh Mobley, as another aspiring actress, shows everything, including a lovely full frontal at the dining table.
An unknown also shows breasts and buns in a girl girl with Mobley.

This is what we used to call a sex farce in the 70's, and I hope there is still an audience for them. They are not to be taken seriously, and are presented in a spirit of fun. Some of the jokes even work, there is a lot of skin on display, and the pace is pretty good. As this is released today for the first time anywhere, there is no information yet at IMDB. This is a C, as a perfectly good sex farce, that doesn't attempt to reach beyond its grasp.

Gabriella Hall is in yesterday's edition

Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

The Specialist (1994)

James Berardinelli pointed out, quite accurately, that there are only about four reasons to see this movie - Stallone's biceps and Stone's breasts. Both sets are very impressive. Stallone was ripped. Sharon looked great. Maybe you can throw in one more reason: James Woods at his slimy, arrogant, condescending best as Stallone's friend-turned-enemy.

Roger Ebert gave it to stars, Berardinelli 1.5. I liked it a little better than they did. I found it a watchable over-the-top piece of the usual Hollywood crapola, with some unintentionally funny writing and performances (Eric Roberts as a South American drug lord, and Rod Steiger as his father - with an outrageous accent). But of course, I find bad stuff entertaining, and they are real critics so they pretty much have to say that bad stuff is bad.

The DVD has two versions: widescreen and a full-frame. Most of the best nudity below (collages 1, 2, and 4) comes from the full frame version, which shows their lower bodies.

  • Sharon Stone (1, 2, 3, 4)

 

OTHER CRAP:

 

Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

 

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Hot off the presses

Jackie Gayda fell out of her top in Monday's RAW

Nikki Cox in the most recent Vegas

Variety - lots today

Amy Jo Hearron

Camille Chen

Dann's caps from Hallow's End
Nadia Mansouri (1, 2) Herr Haut's caps from Forbidden Fruit (2002)
Helena Noguerra (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) Senor Piel's caps from  Ah, si j'etais riche (2002)
Scarlett Johansson Kitt 500 re-did his caps of Scarlett  - big improvement!
Katie Holmes (1, 2, 3, 4) nice caps from Abandon. MNC picked up something I missed, some brief pubic exposure in an upskirt angle.
Gemma Craven (1, 2, 3) I think this is a new capper, but we're glad to see him do this seldom-capped scene from Pennies from Heaven
Carmen Kass The supermodel is naked as a jaybird, full frontal
Pat Reeder, Comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow:

CHEWABLE BIRTH CONTROL PILL

 Friday, the FDA approved the first chewable birth control pill.  Ovcon 35 can be swallowed like a pill or  chewed and washed down with a full glass of water.  If you chew it, it tastes like spearmint.

  • To Prevent Twins, Chew Doublemint -
  • Better yet, make it taste like garlic: then your breath will keep you from getting pregnant!
  •  Now fashion models will be getting pregnant because they think their birth control pills have too many calories.
  •  Their marketing slogan: "Put it in your mouth, and you'll never get pregnant!"

"BAD SANTA" ALARMS DISNEY 

Matt Drudge reports that Disney is once again worried about its distribution deal with Miramax ruining its family-friendly image.  Their latest controversial film is "Bad Santa," starring Billy Bob Thornton as a department store Santa who drinks, robs people, curses at kids, and has sex with a young girl at the mall and with a barmaid who screams, "Fuck me, Santa!"  A source close to Disney CEO Michael Eisner told Drudge, "This is just not in the spirit of Walt Disney."

  •  It's less like "Bambi" and more like "South Park."
  •  The spirit of Walt Disney is too busy haunting Michael Eisner to notice.
  •  Parents spray Lysol on this Santa's lap before they let their kids sit there.
  •  He was an especially sticky lap, even for a mall Santa.
  •  It's the easiest role Billy Bob Thornton ever had: he just plays himself in a Santa suit.