Trolösa (2000) is written by Ingmar Bergman, and directed by Liv Ullmann. They have titled the US release Faithless. It is thought to be semi-autobiographical on the part of Bergman, and at least partially based on his relationship with Ullman. As it opens, an old man sits in a sparse room, and begins to write a screenplay. He is talking to an unseen woman, and eventually Lena Endre appears, sitting in the window. They discuss her affair with a movie writer/director, wherein she betrayed her internationally known composer husband. The film slips easily between the talk between the two, and scenes illustrating key points in the affair.

It becomes clear that the whole thing is taking place in the old mans mind, and he was the writer/director who Endre left her husband for, and nearly shattered their daughters life. The writer had been a family friend, close to all three of them. One night she invited him to the house after the theater, and he spent the night, in the same bed, but more as brother and sister. That was the seed, however, and the two finally escaped for two weeks in Paris together to begin the affair. After that, they settled into a twice a week rhythm, until caught by the husband. At that point, everyone's life was in turmoil, with a messy divorce and more.

It is clear that the writer is looking for a way to forgive himself for what he caused, but is still haunted by his guilt, and, in fact, the entire point of the film is about the fact that human actions have consequences for everyone involved. This is clearly an art film, and very talky, but stellar performances keep it from being a total snooze-fest. There is only one nude scene, with Endre in bed with her lover. What the film lacks in quantity of exposure, it makes up for in quality. Endre is nude, and laying on her back. She slowly pulls a sheet over her, and her lover pulls it to his side. She then covers herself, again slowly, with a robe, then gets out of bed, and we see her bush through the part in the robe as she walks around. The entire bed scene is shot from a very high camera angle, so, even though she is lying on her back, it is gorgeous full frontal. We also see most of her buns when she reaches for the robe.

We don't learn until the credits that the writer's character is named Bergman. IMDB readers have it at 7.3 of 10. Critics rave about it, and are nostalgic for Bergman films that do deal with the consequences of human actions on those around them. The film is in Swedish, and is subtitled. Endre makes the film, and you could nearly follow the film with the sound off and no subtitles, her face is that expressive. Still, this is not a film for everyone, and is rather long at 142 minutes. It won several International awards. If you are a Bergman fan, see it. The proper score is C+, top notch art film, sure to please the critics and Bergman fans, but slow paced and lacking action for the average movie goer.

8 Mile is the Eminem rap movie. I got a slightly better copy.

• Kim Basinger - discreet nudity - the side of a breast and the top of her backside. Promising, but too dark. I guess we'll have to wait for DVD to get a real look at her butt. (1, 2)
• Brittany Murphy. I guess there might possibly be a brief nipple-escape, but the quality isn't good enough to say for sure.

• updated encyclopedia volumes for Victoria Silvstedt, Susan Sarandon, Ione Skye, Helen Shaver, Kristin Scott-Thomas, Kari Wuhrer, Alberta Watson, Carrie Westcott, Sigourney Weaver, and Natasha Gregson Wagner

The best I picked up from the mailbox was this collage of Linnea Quigley doing hardcore. I guess the guy's manhood is briefly visible in the doggie-style pic, so it qualifies, but it was the same pics that the original author told me about. It doesn't seem sensible to me that there is only one explicit picture from a photo session, but I don't know where to find the others, if they exist.

• Roger Ebert picks the worst movies of his reviewing career - all the ones with a half star or no stars. I actually kinda liked a couple of the films on his list: the original Hellraiser, and Saving Silverman. I also got some laughs out of Orgazmo and Death to Smoochy. For the most part however, this is a list of pure evil.
• Lithuania holds a prison beauty pageant to determine Miss Captivity
• Francesca Rettondini was the naked singer in Ghost Ship - here is her official web page, with photos
• The Guardian picks the Top 10 Oscar contenders
• check out this audio file - obscene outtakes from Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis
• if you have never heard Bill Shatner's version of Rocket Man, here's a chance to hear it and see it. This is awesome! Might be the low point in human cultural history, possibly excepting that movie with Matt le Blanc and the chimp.
• RetroCrush does a tribute to Madonna in the early 90's
• Preview of Bob Woodward's new book on Dubya's administration
• Jewel thinks any guy who won't sleep with her is gay. Or maybe a dentist. I think she was kidding, but it came out kind of harsh.
• The Sun picks Mick Jagger's Top 10 lovers. Why do we care about this crap? Hey, they aren't wearing much.

• Sucking Stretch Armstrong. I know those words look weird, but they describe exactly what the article is about.

• al-Qaida issues a warning that USA faces more attacks unless it converts to Islam. Well, there's a realistic demand, eh? What would they do if Dubya said - "OK, fair enough - done!"

• Yup, it's official. Shaq and Fat Albert are the same guy

• I'm not kidding -  an Afghan vendor sells Afghanistan's favorite candy treat - Bin Laden Balls. Well, it's actually #2 after Bit O'Sama

• Europeans want Bush to join them in prohibiting free speech on the internet. Sure we'll sign that. That silly old constitution of ours was starting to met moldy anyway. Anyone who has ideas that disagree with the European Leadership should be sent to jail, shouldn't they? Oh, wait, I meant to type "Soviet" instead of European.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

• Nicole Kidman, excellent full frontal and rear views in scenes from "Billy Bathgate" (1991).

• Julie McCullough, former Heffer going topless in very nice 'caps from "Big Bad Mama II" (1987).

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

When a fellow Funhouse reader asked 'bout Stacie Lambert in Sleepaway Camp III: A Teenage Wasteland, I said to myself, "Who?" Already had the movie 'cuz Jill Terashita is in it and I think she's major babe, but Stacie Lambert??? Then Tuna and Hankster showed us all who Stacie is and why, with 'xactly one movie to her name, she is worth paying attention to. Exquisite woman with real nice features, if you catch my drift, which I'm pretty certain you do.

But when two artists have already posted kickass collages of Stacie, I had to wonder what more was there to do. Ah yes, the important word is more. If I couldn't do better, I could at least do more... as in grab every third frame through two really long topless scenes and then put them together for all to view.

First scene today. This is the obligatory girls' cabin with babes changing clothes scene that every movie with Camp in it's title has had since 1964.

Eight collages, seven with Stacie only and the eighth with Stacie and the above-mentioned Jill Terashita. Did I remember to say that she, too, is a major babe? Topless views throughout. In fact I haven't a clue if Stacie's lower half is of the same quality as her upper half because she just didn't show it to anyone holding a camera.

A word about the last three collages. In this part of the scene, Stacie is slightly in back of the camera's focal plane, which is locked onto Jill (see collage 8, with them in the frame together). Thanks to the digital revolution, however, it was possible to sharpen up Stacie's image. It was terrible, hard work that no man should ever to subjected to, but then there is little I wouldn't do for the Funhouse. Right.

• Stacie Lambert and Jill Terashita
• Stacie Lambert (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Today another "Damsel in Distress" as we find Valerie Von Ost in 1972's "Bloodsuckers" AKA "Incense of the Damned". We see Valerie attacked by two men and has her blouse torn open. The two men are joined by another woman for some of the fun before she is rescued.Really a bad movie.

• Valerie Van Ost (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Here are a few original Interviu scans of assorted Spanish celebrities, and a couple of Halle Berry.

• Carmen Janeiro, paparazzi shots while she was on vacation in Portugal. She is the 28-year-old sister of a popular matador. She started modeling a couple of years ago. As you can see, she has the most spectacular body. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

• Isabel Pantoja, first ever topless paparazzi of this very famous Spanish flamenco singer.

• Maria Reyes, Miss Spain 1995. She is now a model. Paparazzi taken while she was in Ibiza this past summer. (1, 2)

• Paz Vega. These are paparazzi of her and her husband in Ibiza as well. The shots on the first pic where taken before she became famous from "Lucia y el Sexo", of course. (1, 2)

• Halle Marie Berry. The 35-year-old beauty needs no introduction. (1, 2, 3)