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Tuna
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"Bad Bizness"
Bad Bizness (2003) is a straight to vid in this country, but was released on Brazilian Skinemax as Perigo nos Bastidores. IMDB has elected to call it More Mercy. I suppose it was intended as a soft core thriller, but is way too tame to earn soft core status. It is more T & A, with two tepid sex scenes, one hetero and one girl/girl. It involves a serial killer, models by day, hookers by night dying of zip lock bag overdose, and two hotel security people investigating the murders. If I give too much of the plot, it could spoil the identity of the killer, and that would be a shame, as nothing in the film, and nothing in your collective life experiences prepares you for this one. IT is supposedly set on a tropical island in a huge resort hotel. I suppose this was necessary to allow excluding local police from the murder investigation. The resort owner did not want police or publicity because it would be bad for business.
Lets get to the good part. Female lead Tracy Bingham, as one of the two detectives, stays dressed, but we have breasts and buns from Melinda Steele, Kira Eggers, Belinda Gavin, Kim Maddox, and Regina Russell with Julie Smith in the girl/girl scene. There is no score as yet, and no reviews. The only comment, with says something about the breasts being ubiquitous, was clearly not favorable, although it didn't make much sense to me. The acting could have been worse, most scenes were brightly lit, and there was a high breast count. ON the other hand, the soundtrack sounded like it was entirely done by pirating the stereo output of low rider cars, and had nothing to do with the mood of the film, the plot was ridiculous, and the ending was highly irritating. The question becomes how to score it. GIven a bad plot, it certainly can't gain points as a real thriller. There is not enough sex or nudity for a soft core. It does not have bad movie energy going for it. There are too many long cross-fades during the sex scenes, but we do have six women showing breasts and buns, and a few even look like original equipment. I guess this is a D+. Even genre fans won't be impressed, but there is decent eye candy in the film.
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Belinda Gavin
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Kim Maddox
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Kira Eggers
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Mia Zotolle
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Russel Smith
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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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OTHER CRAP:
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Chocolate Fashion Show Melts The Critics. With
video of models wearing only chocolate.
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Angry white boy polka-rap.
This isn't really any good, but it is weird enough to take a look
at.
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Jerry Lewis has been hospitalized for several weeks.
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TIME's Top 10 Video Games of 2003
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MGM studios said on Friday it had bought the script
of 'Henry Bates and the Sorcerer's Balls' -- a comic parody of
both 'Harry Potter' and 'Lord of the Rings'
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Letterman's Top Ten Paris Hilton Excuses
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Letterman's Top Ten Signs Rush Limbaugh Might Not
Be Ready To Come Back To Work
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The ultimate irony - President Bush says
filibustering is dirty politics because a simple majority vote
should decide who gets into office, as opposed to some tricky,
arcane voting procedure.
Like the Electoral College.
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Pay to party with a politician and a portion of
your contribution will go to help abused children.
An unspecified portion. Of course, the rest of the money
will go to pay for political campaigns, yacht cruises, and
late-night convention parties for fat cats! Three words: hookers,
hookers, hookers! (Or, as we call them in Texas, "debutantes") The
best part - since you are giving to abused kids - all your drinks
and cruises and hookers are tax deductible! GREAT scam! Why didn't
I think of this?
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Best poll results ever.
598 people vote online to say that they never vote online. A
derivative of the Mudd's Robots Paradox.
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(1) A factory owner with money troubles goes to a
fortune teller. (2) she gives him a magic flag to ward off bad
luck (3) he climbs onto the roof of his building to raise the
flag, falls to his death.
Soon to be a movie starring Cuba Gooding Jr.
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Another Paris Hilton porno tape is out there, This
one is supposed to be a three-way with an actor and a playmate,
and involves girl/girl action.
This one is legal, because it was filmed on her 22nd birthday.
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I'm not sure who this guy is, but you'll like his
glamour and figure photography
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How to Talk to Your Kids About the Paris Hilton Sex
Video
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Penny Singleton, 'Blondie' of the silver screen and
voice of Jetsons mom, dies at 95
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NASA publishes detailed photo of Jupiter.
To see the full-sized picture, go to the right hand side of the
page and click on "PIA04866.jpg (179.4 kilobytes)" - and prepare
to be impressed.
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Americans Warned Against Visiting Sudan
Damn, there goes my whole vacation. I wonder if I can change my
plane tickets to Nagorno-Karabakh.
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The City of Miami is considering making giant
puppets illegal. Austin
was going to do the same, but it would have meant losing Governor
Perry.
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McSweeney's Pretentious Horseshit
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Who'll be the new co-host on The View?
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"truth in advertising" - GREAT STUFF! - vintage
cigarette & tobacco ads from the 40s and 50s
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A MUM has stunned the medical world after tests
showed she is made up of TWO women. Even more incredibly she is
NOT the biological mother of two of the children she conceived and
had naturally. Docs found the woman, named only as Jane, was
formed from non-identical twin embryos who fused together in her
own mother’s womb. Her blood and some of her organs are made up of
her own cells — while other parts of her body “belong” to her
unborn sister. Isn't this
the plot of Basket Case?
Other crap
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
Click
here
to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap
MOVIE REVIEWS:
Here
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
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Brainscan
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'Caps by Brainscan:
A few assorted paparazzi edits.
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BFD
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Donna Barnes
Donna Winter
Georgia Harrell
Kristina Marie Wetzel
Lara Grills
Sheila Kennedy
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Everyone of these ladies goes topless in scenes from the 1983 Troma teen sex comedy, "The First Turn-On!!".
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Rosanna Arquette
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Arquette does a strip tease and shows off her fabulous breasts in scenes from "The Wrong Man" (1993).
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Shirley MacLaine |
Brief breast views in scenes from the 1971 movie "Desperate Characters".
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Sean Young |
Going back to 1992 for these scenes from the movie "Love Crimes". The highlights...full frontal and rear nudity by Young.
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Scoprion's Skinemax
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Anne Parillaud |
Toplessness and far off full frontal views of the French actress in scenes from "Patricia" (1980).
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Blake Pickett
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The B-movie babe in scenes from two movies. In link #1 we see her topless in scenes from "Dark Universe" (1993). In link #2 we see her baring breasts and bum in "They Bite" (1996).
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Carol Hoyt
Julie Strain
Lisa Comshaw and Monique Parent
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You might know Hoyt from the show "Power Rangers Turbo", but fortunately toay we have her in 'caps from one of her late night appearances instead. Here we have breast and bum views from "Midnight Confessions" (1995).
Big Jules shows of her big'uns, while Comshaw and Parent do some mild lesbian lovin'.
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Florence Guérin
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The French actress shows breasts and bum as well as giving us an up close and personal view from the gyno-cam in scenes from the Italian movie "Profumo" aka "Bizarre" (1987).
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Lisa Boyle
Nicole Gian
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Boyle shows off her robo-hooters and Gian is also topless in pseudo-sex scenes from "Intimate Deception" (1997).
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Nikki Fritz |
The Skinemax babe showing off her plasti-boobs and some excellent rear views in scenes from "Where Evil Lies" (1995).
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Radha Mitchell |
No nudity in this one, but the sexy Aussie looks fantastic in a bikini! Vidcaps from the movie "Visitors" (2003).
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Variety
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Christa Campbell |
She's been A-movie eye-candy, a B-movie co-star and on occasion a Skinemax babe. She is probably best known for playing the 'Young Bettie Page' in "From Pinup to Sex Queen: Bettie Page: The E! True Hollywood Story" (1998).
Here she is just barely keeping the puppies contained in scenes from "Spring Break Lawyer" (2001).
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Claudia Udy
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Señor Skin goes crazy with this very thorough coverage of Udy baring all and getting it on in several scenes from the Emmanuelle-like movie "Joy" (1983). Skin includes scenes from an uncut version as well which feature and Udy orgy (links 1-9).
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Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
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Pat's comments in yellow...
NASA GETS PARKING TICKET FOR ASTEROID
Payable In Laudinum - Orbital Development of Carson City, Nevada, the
company that filed for legal ownership of all the celestial bodies in space
and sells real estate on the moon, is suing NASA. NASA permanently landed
a probe on the Eros asteroid, so Orbital Development sent NASA a bill for
$20 for a century of parking and storage fees. NASA refused to pay, and
now the company is suing them in a federal court in Reno for illegal
parking and violating their property rights. They want $1,107 damages.
Sadly for them, it turns out the federal court has no jurisdiction.
NASA said if they don't like the probe being parked there, they can tow
it away.
NASA is our ambassador to other planets, and ambassadors never pay
parking tickets.
$20 for a century of parking?! I bet some New Yorkers would take that
parking space and just walk the rest of the way to work!
SEX CLASSES FOR ADULT MALE VIRGINS
Isn't This What Junior High Is For? - A company called Aquarion in
Niewegein, Holland, is offering to teach 40-year-old male virgins who are
too shy even to hire a prostitute how to become "God's gift to women."
Over a six-month, $4,000 course, an attractive female teacher will instruct
them in making intimate conversation, sexual technique, and "other
practical things." When they feel ready, the teacher will personally
deflower them. Those who graduate can move on to an advanced class.
They can earn a Ph.D and get the title, "Doctor Of Love."
But most of them deliberately flunk, so they have to repeat this class.
This also satisfies any fantasy they ever had about their teachers.
Excuse me, but anyone who signs up for this course is NOT too shy to
hire a prostitute.
With so many sexually transmitted diseases out there, any 40-year-old
male virgin is God's gift to women.
RADIO STATION GIVES AWAY FREE SEX
Get Fracked! - "The Frack," a show on Radio Paulina in Santiago, Chile, is
holding a drawing for one lucky listener each night to win an hour of free
sex with a male or female professional escort. It's sponsored by a "love
motel," which provides the room. About 70 people called in the first
night, and that doubled the second night. Those who don't want an hour of
sex with a pro can opt instead for a massage or an erotic dance.
Or for three minutes of sex with a radio DJ.
They had to do SOMETHING to get women to call.
I've found that whenever I offered sex to listeners, I couldn't give it
away.
DICE CLAY STORMS OFF CNN FINANCIAL NETWORK
Cursing Nimrod Network - Viewers of the CNN Financial Network were treated
to an unusual show Wednesday when comic Andrew Dice Clay was interviewed.
He was asked about his ownership of a gym. He told them he'd never owned a
gym, called them stupid and unprepared, and stalked off the set, spewing
dozens of curse words on live TV.
So it was pretty much your typical Dice Clay interview.
If they put Andrew Dice Clay on live TV, then he's right: they ARE
stupid.
Why is CNN Financial interviewing Dice Clay? Was MC Hammer unavailable?
Here is a link to the NY post article about this incident.
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