Friday

Tuna
"The Last Seduction"

The Last Seduction (1994) is an erotic thriller staring Linda Fiorentino as the ultimate self-serving bitch. Husband Bill Pullman, a doctor, sells a large amount of medical cocaine, and she takes off with the money. Fiorentino lands in a small town for the night, and her lawyer advises her to stay put, as her husband is after her for the money. Seems he owes a chunk of it to unfriendly loan sharks. Fiorentino takes a job under an assumed name, and cultivates a local (Peter Berg) as her "designated fuck." When hubby zeros in on her, she hatches an elaborate plot with Berg to do him in, and blame someone else.

Fiorentino shows buns, and breasts in several scenes. I don't recall the VHS version having as much exposure, but I could be wrong. IMDB readers have it at 7.3 of 10. Fiorentino won several Best actress awards, and was even nominated for a BAFTA. Critics loved this film, with Ebert giving the rare 4 stars, and Berardinelli giving three. Rotten Tomatoes scores it 93%, with 100% fro the top critics. The appeal of this movie is the Fiorentino character, who is evil personified. I also like it very much, and it is a step above others of its genre. B-.

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  • Linda Fiotentino (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

    "The Last Seduction II"

    The Last Seduction II (1999) -- The very name has a built in problem, and The Last Seduction should have been the last Last Seduction. It starts off where the original ended. They made several changes. Fiorentino was replaced by Joan Severance, they moved the location to Spain, and turned her marks into clearly evil people, I suppose to make it easier to root for her. The father of the man she framed in part one hires a detective, Murphy, to track her down and bring her back. In the one good choice in the film, Murphy is also a woman, and every bit as ruthless as Severance.

    Severance ends up going after a sleazy bar owner/phone sex impresario by hacking his auto-billing software, and depositing some of his revenue in her account. Meanwhile, Murphy is closing in. Severance is seen in bra and panties, and wakes up nude. All we really see is a rear side view of her right breasts, but it is her, in that we see her face earlier in a scene with no cuts. Of course, it ends leaving room for a sequel, but one that I really hope nobody attempts.

    IMDB readers say 3.7 of 10 for this direct to video. Apollo scores it 33, with 20% from the readers. It is easily that bad, and a blemish on the original. There is one scene I admit to having enjoyed. Another sleazy bar owner/drug dealer is putting heavy moves on the detective, and tries to get her to join him snorting some nose candy. He places the glass straw in his nose, and she shoves his head into the table, driving it well into his head, and breaking his nose. Other than that brief scene, it was a total snooze-feste. D.

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  • Joan Severance (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    MOVIES: 

    Although it stars Wisconsinite Willem Dafoe, Victory is actually a European film which was released briefly seven years ago in Europe, then shelved. It never got a US theatrical release at all, as far as I can determine. Set in Indonesia before the First World War, it is a sumptuously photographed film taken from a Joseph Conrad story. It's not my type of entertainment, but it isn't a bad movie at all. I guess the powers-that-be simply determined that it had no commercial potential, which was probably correct. Maybe it will find a home on DVD. I can think of one reason why it should. Irene Jacob naked.

    • Irene Jacob (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    One more quick look at Auto Focus. I found a screener, and the enhanced quality reveals one extra bit of nudity - the nipplage of Alex Meneses. In addition, that Maria Bello scene shows that Maria herself provided the nipple (see the bottom right frame, which has both a nipple and Maria's face)


    UPDATES:

    • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated

    MAILBOX:

    Scoop,

    Don't know the full story on Elke Sommer , but http://www.aeolia.net/playboy/playboy.htm is a resource that shows whether any given actress appeared in Playboy.


    OTHER CRAP:


     

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Spaz
    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Three Immoral Women" (1979) and "The Art Of Love (1983) are the second and third entries of Polish director Walerian Borowczyk's Immoral Tales trilogy, the first being the Scoopy Funhouse classic "Immoral Tales" (1974).

    However, dubs of these two floating around the internet are low quality compared to the "Immoral Tales" DVD. Marina Pierro and Pascale Christophe from "Immoral Tales" make apperances as well as Gaelle Legrand from "Tender Cousins" and Simonetta Stefanelli from "The Godfather".

    "Three Immoral Women"

    • Pascale Christophe: all three B's.
    • Gaelle Legrand: all three B's. (1, 2, 3)
    • Marina Pierro: all three B's, gyno-cam plus x-rated action shot. (1, 2)


    "The Art of Love"

    Variety
    Salma Hayek
    (1, 2)

    A few more bootleg 'caps of Salma nude in "Frida".

    Rie Rasmussen A very high quality production still of Rie wearing a very revealing snake-like top in "Femme Fatale".

    Jennifer Beals

    Sunny Johnson


    Vidcaps by Dann from the early 80's flick "Flashdance". Johnson shows the only nudity with some brief breast exposure, by there's no doubt that Beals was a definite hottie back then.


    Rene Russo Looking fantastic topless at age 45! Vidcaps from the 1999 remake of "The Thomas Crown Affair".

    Gisele Bundchen The super-model posing soaking wet with hint of nipple exposure.

    Yamila Diaz Looking just about perfect on the cover of the 2003 Pirelli calendar.

    Aurora Robles
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Excellent scans from the February '02 of the German GQ. Bare bum in #3, topless in #6, teaser exposure in links 4 and 5.

    Elisabetta Canalis
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    The gorgeous Italian model posing nude for her 2003 calendar. Breasts in every link, plus bare bum in link #9.

    The Funnies
  • Fashion so hip, it hurts

  • Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    BRA MADE OF CHOCOLATE
    I Dreamed I Got Acne In My Maidenform Bra - Designer Reinlinde Trummer of Graz, Austria, has created the world's first bra made entirely of chocolate. It is edible, but it's made of 2 kilos (4.4 pounds) of special chocolate that doesn't melt easily. (click here for a picture) Even at $140 each, Trummer can't keep up with demand because each bra, covered with chocolate flowers, takes two days to make and over two weeks to dry and harden. Trummer said many of them are bought as wedding gifts, to "give a sweet start to the honeymoon."

  • The groom can find out how many licks it takes to get to the center.
  • Or they're bought by starving models, who hope to absorb nourishment through their breasts.
  • She can't even keep up with all the orders from Anna Nicole Smith.
  • If you like Mounds, you'll love this.
  • It gives a whole new meaning to "Melts in your mouth, not in your hand."


    COLLEGE REJECTS AD FOR CO-ED STRIPPERS
    Wanna Watch Me Matriculate? - Ohio State University ripped one page out of 10,700 copies of this year's faculty and staff directory to remove an inappropriate ad. The editors had accepted a full-page ad from a local topless club that showed a woman's face and read, "Need Tuition? Dockside Dolls gentleman's club is looking for you." An OSU spokesman called it totally inconsistent with OSU's educational mission. But the club says about half their employees are co-eds, and they earn between $500 and $2,000 a night.

  • Depending on breast size.
  • Professors tip very well.
  • Forget college! Spend your tuition money on breast implants!
  • Now the female teachers want to know if they're hiring more mature women.
  • Actually, they ripped out all those pages because the ad included a discount coupon.


    MICHAEL JACKSON IN COURT
    Sued By An Adult? Things Are Looking Up! - Reuters released a disturbing photo of Michael Jackson Wednesday, on a witness stand in a California court, wearing heavy makeup, a scraggly goatee, eyeliner and a bandage over his tiny, flaking nose. He's being sued for $21 million by a German-based concert promoter who says Michael went way over budget on two 1999 New Year's shows to build elaborate effects, such as a "Bridge to Nowhere," then abruptly canceled to work on his "Invincible" album and left the promoter holding the bag.

  • Please don't use the terms "Michael Jackson" and "holding the bag" in the same sentence.
  • And there was nothing in the bag but a bunch of Michael's old noses.
  • Michael can't repay $21 million! He spent it all on bandages to hold his nose on!
  • Hey, the "Bridge to Nowhere" was not just a cheesy effect! It was a metaphor for Michael's whole life!