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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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The Tuxedo
2002
JLH film clip
samples below
Scoop's notes:
Critics generally hated this typical
Jackie Chan action comedy, although it did a respectable $50 million
at the box office.
Jackie plays the humble driver of a super-suave
secret agent, the kind of guy who is so debonair and slick he makes
James Bond look like Gilligan. It turns out that all of the agent's
powers are in his computer-controlled suit, which does
everything from martial arts to lighting ladies' cigarettes to
singing and dancing. I guess you can figure out the rest. The agent
goes down, slips into a coma, and Jackie has to fill in with the
help of the magical clothes. His partner is a brainy agency
scientist who gets a chance at her first field assignment (Jennifer
Love Hewitt), so they are both essentially clueless.
Unlike many of the critics, I'm a Jackie Chan fan.
He has a great combination of boyish charm, good humor, and creative
action. The martial arts scenes in his movies are usually both
hilarious and astoundingly athletic. The guy is so graceful that
he's even a great dancer, as he proves in this movie when he and his
suit have to fill in for James Brown.
I like Jackie in general, but not this film. The
James Brown thing wasn't bad at all, but there wasn't much else I
liked in this movie. The plot, especially the significance of
the minor characters, was nearly incomprehensible. It appears that
the film got edited quite a bit, probably at the last minute,
because most of the deleted and extended scenes are completely
finished scenes in all respects. By cutting out or shortening about
a dozen scenes, the filmmakers managed to destroy the development of
just about every one of the minor characters. They just drop in and
out of Jackie's life without any rhyme or reason, and scenes seem to
end in the middle. (The whole mess does make pretty good sense when
you watch all the deleted scenes. Well MORE sense, anyway.)
Actually, the major characters weren't much
better. The bad guys aren't even threatening. They are just silly.
On the good guy side of the ledger, I didn't even know much about
Jennifer Love Hewitt's character. I didn't "get" her, although she
was Chan's co-star. Even Chan's character was largely a cipher
except for his driving skills.
The action was average, which means it was below
Jackie's usual high standard. The fight scenes were pretty good, and
the dancing scenes were terrific, but nothing else provided much
entertainment at all. It just sort of dragged. Even the closing
credits, which are usually so good in Jackie's movies, were boring
and repetitious, with only one running gag, the fact that Hewitt
couldn't keep a straight face around Jackie. |
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Continuing with the 1980s theme.
Bail Out
The nudity is brief by Debra Lamb in
Bail Out aka W.B., Blue and the Bean (1989) but she shows the lot as
she comes out of the show.
Carlie Fiorelli is a stripper but she keeps her
clothes on.
Caddyshack
Most people are familiar with the
topless nudity in the funny Caddyshack (1980). Cindy Morgan looks very
good topless,
as does an unknown swimmer.
Sarah Holcomb is down to her underwear.
Caddyshack II
The sequel Caddyshack II (1988) was a shocker.
No nudity but Dyan Cannon looks good, especially
as she was in her 50s.
Crossing Delancey
Both Amy Irving
and Faye Grant go topless in Crossing Delancey
(1988) but the goodies are hidden.
History of the World Part I
History of the World/ Part I (1981) is another
enjoyable Mel Brooks movie. There is no nudity but Pamela Stephenson
and Diane Day show a bit of cleavage.
Midnight Cop
Unfortunately, the credits for Midnight Cop aka
Killing Blue (1988) are poor.
Morgan Fairchild plays a prostitute and is
completely naked but you can't see anything.
Julia Kent is topless but has her hand over her
breasts.
A woman who I couldn't positively identify (it
could be Allegra Curtis) shows the lot.
Another woman is shown topless.
Ruthless People
In Ruthless People (1986) Jeannine Bisignano is
topless
and Anita Morris is down to her underwear.
The Firing Line
The Firing Line (1988) is one of those shocking
movies (rated 2.9 in the IMDB). I think Shannon Tweed was bought in to help
sell the movie but it doesn't work. She is topless but everything is hidden.
The Park is Mine
Helen Shaver is briefly topless in The Park Is
Mine (1986).
To Live and Die in L.A.
To Live and Die in L.A. (1985) has both Darlanne
Fluegel
and Debra Feuer topless.
Jane Leeves shows pokies and is down to her
underwear.
Weekend Pass
Some nice nudity in Weekend Pass (1984).
Sara Costa, who plays a stripper, is topless.
It is the same for Ashley St. Jon.
Cheryl Song is a topless masseuse
and Hilary Shapiro (Shepard) goes naked to take
a bath.
The rest of the women are a bit of eye candy,
including Annette Sinclair,
Daureen Collodel,
Debbie Christoffersen,
Graem McGavin,
Pamela G. Kay
and some unknowns.
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Screwballs
1983
Lost in the hype from 1982's Porky's, this 1983 teen flick of the same
genre, set in the early 1960's, is not as well known, but contains ample
amounts of what is required of this type of flick: total goofiness, horny
high schoolers, and plenty of nudity.
Drawing constant detentions are five guys who are obsessed with
deflowering the high school goddess and prima donna, Purity Busch (Linda
Speciale). As it becomes obvious that deflowering is unlikely, they set a
more modest goal: grab a look at her boobs.
Scheme after scheme results in more detentions but Purity keeps the
girls well covered. Fortunately for the moviegoer, however, her classmates
don't. But as the school prepares for homecoming, with Homecoming Queen
Purity singing the national anthem, a final scheme just might have the
potential to get the job done.
In this type of teen sexploitation flick, you know what you're getting
well ahead of time, but Screwballs does it as well as most, and is a lot
of fun. The caps are from the Blu-ray version, but unfortunately, the DVD
was mastered from the only available source, a 16 mm master stored in a
vault, so if anything, the Blu-ray version only serves to make the
imperfections of the master more obvious. But even bad quality doesn't
stop this from being an enjoyable, goofy, sexy teen romp.
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Astrid Brandt |
Jennifer Inch |
Linda Shayne |
Linda Speciale |
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Raven de la Croix |
Terrea Foster |
assorted |
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Pics
Diane Cuevas in Hot Springs Hotel
Florence "Bret" Faivre in Chok Dee
Two caps from Fergie's I Gotta Feeling video
Mamie Van Doren in 3 Nuts ion Search of a Bolt
Film Clips
Dan covered Screwballs, so this seems like a perfect day to
cover Hardbodies, which was cut from the same cloth, or lack
thereof.
And here's
Brenda
Bakke from the Hardbodies 2, a film as poignant as it
was profound.
There is currently a "sex tape" floating around which
purports to feature a semi-famous photographer (Wyatt
Gallery), his Miss Trinidad girlfriend (Anya Ayoung Chee),
and another Miss Universe contestant, Miss Japan Hiroko Mima.
The Wikipedia pages for these people have been changed about
a gazillion times in the past few days, so God only knows
what's real. My guess is that it is legitimate, although the
internet seems quite uncharacteristically silent on the
subject. At any rate,
here're the film clips (poor quality), and below are the
samples. "You make the call," as they say.
Finally, here's the copious
nudity from
Secret Things, featuring
Blandien Bury, Sabrina Seyvecou and Coralie Revel
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