Pretty Baby (1978) is a slice of life in a whore house in Storyville, New Orleans in 1917, the last days that prostitution was legal. The story focuses on hooker Susan Sarandon, her 12 year old daughter, Brooke Shields, and a photographer who takes a liking to both of them. As the film opens, Sarandon has a baby boy. She eventually marries a John and leaves, but not before her daughter's cherry is auctioned off to the highest bidder. After being beaten, Shields runs away, and goes to live with the photographer. When her welcome there wears out, she returns to the whorehouse to find that it has been shut down. Then, inexplicably, the photographer, who has no sexual interest in women, marries her. I will leave the closing plot twist to those who choose to watch it for the first time.

Sarandon is nude, mostly from the side, in a bath scene, then shows breasts in a lengthy scene posing for the photographer. Shields also shows everything, but I have elected not to present the Shields nudity here. Please understand, I do not personally find the nude human body, no matter what age or gender, in any way lewd, perverted or immoral, but many in the US do, and I can't imagine that many care if they see Shields as a 12 year old child nude or not.

IMDB readers have this at 6.2 of 10. There are no major reviews available. It was nominated for an Oscar for best music, and won a technical merit award at Cannes. The score, mostly period jazz and blues was brilliant, the atmosphere was exactly right, the cinematography was wonderful. The story, however, never really engaged me. If writer/director Louis Malle had a point, he failed to make it with me. ON the other hand, it was likely an accurate portrayal of Storyville sporting houses in 1917, was dripping with atmosphere, and had a naked Susan Sarandon. This is enough for a C, but Sarandon is one of a handful of actresses on my personal best list.

Blitz (1985)

This film is also known as Killing Cars.

Blitz is a German attempt to make a Hollywood-style movie with action, espionage, beautiful babes, etc. The plot concerns a German auto manufacturer with the plan for a perfect car - a sporty, economical, durable, pollution-free driving machine that doesn't require petrol. They have the prototypet, but everyone else either wants it, or wants to prevent it from becoming public. I guess you could say the plot is not that bad, somewhere between "Tucker" and "The Betsy" in terms of storyline, but the film doesn't even approach the minimal standards of The Betsy in terms of human insight, narrative, or well-crafted photography. Mostly it's a typical grade-B European film with people smoking vast quantities of cigarettes and looking at each other meaningfully.

The Germans seem to be good at a lot of things, including car-making, but cinema is still not one of them, and their film industry was even less developed in 1985. The director was Michael Verhoeven, who is not related to the talented Dutch director Paul Verhoeven, but must be a pretty cool guy because he has been married to Senta Berger for the past 37 years (she also stars in this film).

1. (5.43) - The Fall (1998)
2. (5.18) - Fourth War, The (1990)
3. (5.03) - The Last Stop (2000)
4. (5.00) - Kill Cruise (1990)
5. (4.97) - Final Ascent (2000)
6. (4.79) - Last Run (2001)
7. (4.73) - Interceptor (1992)
8. (4.62) - Hurricane Smith (1992)
9. (4.61) - Ripper (2001)
10. (4.58) - Heaven's Fire (1999)
11. (4.51) - Judge Dredd (1995)
12. (4.46) - Elite (2000)
13. (4.38) - Dark Asylum (2001)
14. (4.31) - Gunblast Vodka (2000)
15. (4.14) - Poison (2000)
16. (4.13) - Body of Evidence (1993)
17. (3.72) - Wing Commander (1999)
18. (3.38) - DNA (1997/I)
19. (3.31) - House of the Dead (2003)
20. (1.90) - Trigger Fast (1994)

There are some very, very bad films on that list. I haven't seen the bottom three, but if they are far worse than Gunblast Vodka, I can't even conceptualize what they might be like. Did the director leave the lens cap on when he filmed them?  I would love to see Trigger Fast. It is a Western which stars that rootin'-tootin' buckaroo Christopher Atkins as someone named Dusty Fog, and co-stars another orn'ry sidewinder, Corbin Bernsen. A sure sign of Prochnow's status is that he is billed eighth in a movie rated 1.9 with those two guys billed #1 and #2! To be fair, Prochnow was also in The Lost Honor of Katharina Blum and The English Patient, although many of you will have even less respect for him after finding out about that whole English Patient thing.

By the way, as our friend Celebrity Sleuth might say, Prochnow shows Das Booty in this film.

Based on this description, this film is an F in its current avatar. Complete crap. The picture is sub-VHS quality, and the dubbing is awful. The film might be a D if there were a good DVD made from an original source.

For reasons unclear and complete mystifying to me, it comes with exactly one special feature  - a 1956 Casper the Friendly Ghost cartoon called Spooking About Africa. I didn't make that up.

• Marina Larsen (1, 2)

• some other German chicks (1, 2)

Confessions of a Police Captain (1971)

This film is also known as Bad Cop and Confessione di un commissario di polizia al procuratore della repubblica. I guess that means it has one of the longest AND one of the shortest titles in film history, ranging anywhere from two to a thousand syllables.

It looked like there were some interesting things going on in this Spaghetti Police story (dubbed film made in Italy), but I'll be damned if I know what they were. It had one of the most convoluted plots I've seen, and seemed to end in the middle of a scene. I guess they probably just kept the camera rolling until they ran out of film. The director was Damiano Damiani, who made an entire career out of movies with dialogue that sounds like a sequence of complete non-sequiturs when translated into English.

In some city in some country, Marty Balsam was the Police Captain and Sir Lancelot (Franco Nero) was the District Attorney. They were both investigating a prominent man in the city, the head of an architecture and construction firm, who seemed to be connected to the mob. The police captain was also investigating Lancelot's office, because he seemed to get foiled by a rat in the system every time he got close to an arrest. Meanwhile, Lancelot was also investigating the Captain because he believed that the top cop got one of the mob guy's violent enemies inappropriately released from a mental institution. Which was true. I think there really was a leak in the DA's office as well, but it was Lancelot's boss, not Lance himself.

Or not.

For no apparent reason, it is accompanied by an Our Gang comedy. In fact, it is one of the best ones. The kids fake a doctor's note declaring them sick so they can go to the circus, but their teacher tells them the entire class will go to the circus together, so they have to sneak into the school and destroy the note before she sees it. They are terrified by the human skeleton from their classroom. They run out into the rain, get sick for real, and have to stay home while their classmates go to the circus.

• Marilu Tolo (1, 2, 3)

more Marilu Tolo

Marilu has also been naked in three other movies (that I know of):

• Jus primae noctis
• Bluebeard (1, 2)
• The Greek Tycoon (1, 2, 3)

Cat Chaser (1989)

You can get an excellent summary of this film  from the very detailed plot summary and review from TV Guide

I don't want to talk about that, because the big story here is not what is on the DVD, but what isn't. This film started as a 180 minute X-rated film of an Elmore Leonard story, as directed by cinema bad boy Abel Ferrara, auteur of such timeless cinema masterpieces as Nine Lives of a Wet Pussy.

The DVD ended up with only an R-rated 90 minute film, in 4:3 aspect ratio, with a mediocre transfer, and no features.

No features? What?

No director's cut? You mean Ferrara didn't want to present a director's cut? According to insiders, he has a private "rough cut" copy of the three hour version, which he screens for visitors now and then. According to IMDb, Ferrara has even lent it out on occasion. I, for one, would like to see an arty three hour porn film starring Kelly McGillis. Of course, I also would like to be the first to welcome our new arty pornographic overlords.

No commentary? You mean Ferrara didn't want to talk about how people took away his film? There were all sorts of juicy stories to share. To start with, Ferrara was having trouble adapting Elmore's novel to a script. In Ferrara’s original script, the first ten minutes consisted of two guys talking, and that scene was a verbatim transcription of the novel. He realized that such a scene can make for good exposition in a book, but gets audiences sleeping quickly in a theater. Ferrara wanted to make some changes, but wasn't sure what to do. His problems were complicated by his star, Peter Weller, who had script approval and didn't want any of Elmore's sharp dialogue altered. In desperation, Ferrara sent the script to Elmore himself, and asked him to help out with the first twenty pages. Elmore got the script and, being a typical author, re-wrote the entire thing. Ferrara got the script back and, being a typical director, didn't use what Elmore had written. 

At some point in the muddled process, the backers realized they weren't going to make a lot of money from Ferrara's arty, confusing, violent, slow, three hour porn flick, so they took control of the film from Ferrara, and cut it. The producer's version, which was only released theatrically in England, was 98 minutes long, and still included a daring scene in which Kelly McGillis spread her legs on camera. (This version was once available on VHS, but is now out of print. There is a small capture of the scene at the scoopy.com page)

There were even more cuts made to produce a third version of the movie with an MPAA rating of "R". The additional cuts included the McGillis beaver shot, and most of a violent, bloody massacre of two naked men in a shower.

The most irritating thing about the final version is that so much of the essential narrative has been cut from the original version that they had to add a hollow-sounding voice-over narration to make the thing comprehensible. The narration is so obviously "tagged on" that the mysterious voice is not even a character in the film, but an omniscient literary narrator!

This could have been a major DVD, a contribution to cinema lore and scholarship. Instead, "it's got nuthin'". Not only is there no commentary and no director's cut, but they couldn't even come up with a widescreen version, or even with the deleted footage that resulted in the film's promotion (or demotion) from X to R.

• Kelly McGillis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Agaguk (1992), aka Shadow of the Wolf

It is a film about the Inuits, or more precisely about the Inuits and their interface with the white Canadians in the 1930s. The tribal kingpin-slash-shaman is played by Toshiro Mifune, king Samurai himself, who started off the drama by claiming an unattached young woman (Jennifer Tilly!!) as his concubine, until his claim was overridden by his son's claim to take the woman as a bride. Father and son engaged in a power struggle, and the boy got the woman, but also got banished from the tribe by the ol' Samurai.

The son is played by Lou Diamond Phillips. You read that right. Jennifer Tilly, the Big Samurai, and Richie Valens are the three main Inuits. They actually filmed this movie in Inuit country, and right away you have to think that the casting director may have drunk his firewater instead of trading it for food and shelter. Phillips plays Agaguk, which means "one-hit wonder". Tilly plays Igiyook, or "the chick with the silly voice and those great cans". Mifune plays Croomak, or "he who would be called Cromak except that all Inuit names have to include a double o sound". Those three, and all of the other Inuits in this film, seem to have learned their accents and syntax from watching old episodes of George of the Jungle. Except that all the cartoon characters on George of the Jungle had more sensible voices than Jennifer Tilly. Amazingly enough, although they filmed in real Inuit camps, those camps were apparently designed by the Inuits after watching and re-watching their timeworn copy of Paint Your Wagon.

Richie, before his banishment, had single-handedly killed the largest polar bear ever seen, which led to a big misunderstanding. Richie gave the Big Samurai the impressive polar bear pelt, but Mifune traded the priceless pelt to some unscrupulous white guys for some pretty beads and a bottle of hootch. On his way out of the tribal camp, the freshly-banished son saw the white guy leaving with his hard-earned pelt, thought he was stealing it, challenged him and, to make a long story short, killed him. The Canadian legal authorities don't usually care what the Inuits do amongst themselves, but when there is a dead white guy, that tends to increase the ante. A police investigator (Donald Sutherland) showed up, at which point the film stopped pretending to be Dances With Wolves (North) and assumed its true identity as a crime film with a backdrop of Inuit life.

As a crime story, it was completely lame, and the rest of the story details were pretty lame as well. The ending shows the father suddenly having a change of heart and "taking the rap" for his son. When the authorities pack him in a plane and fly him off to justice, he leaps from the plane, shifts shape to a hawk, and flies to freedom. I didn't make that up. You can't make up shit that crazy. The movie ends there, but I suppose the Canadian authorities probably followed up by spending years in a fruitless attempt to put handcuffs on that birdie.

The plot details are no worse than some of the dialogue. Richie says stuff to Tilly like, "a woman does not ask questions", which undoubtedly explains so few Inuit women work as TV hosts, and why the Eskimo SATs are always written by men. Apparently there is no Inuit equivalent of Oprah or Barbara Walters. It is kind of a cool philosophy, though, when you think about it. I mean women have to take out the garbage and fix the plumbing. They can't ask men to do it, because "a woman does not ask questions".

I think they make an exception for rhetorical questions and "do walrus skin pants make my ass look fat?"

At one point, Richie travels five days to the general store, hoping to trade his pelts for life's other necessities. This works out pretty much like it always does in the movies.

"OK, son, you have 15 sables and 8 polar bears ... for that I can give you ... (hammers away on calculator) ... one stick of gum in a very shiny wrapper."

"No, it is not enough".

"Then take your pelts elsewhere, son. There is another trader to the West, oh, about 30 days ride by dog sled."

"Then I must sell, but I must have more."

"Kid, you're killin' me here. You're holding a spear on me. OK, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll give you the stick of gum, the tinfoil wrapper around it, AND the original green Doublemint wrapper around the foil, but I'm doing this at a loss, just because I like you, and don't you tell any of your friends."

Jennifer Tilly sings in this film and does so quite well, if we can believe it is really her own voice. Unfortunately, she is singing Inuit music, and their ditties make the Barney the Dinosaur song sound like Beethoven's Ninth. We can only hope that in the years between 1935 and now, they have discovered a second note.

Canadian DVD. Region 1, choice of English or French soundtrack.

• Tilly. (1, 2, 3, 4) (Many people have done the breast shots. I tried to see what there was to see of her lower body. Check out collage #1)
• some other Inuit chick

Updates

Mailbox

I never heard of it until your letter, but here's a great article about the film from its October airing. Between your letter and the article, my curiosity has been piqued.

------------------------------------

Scoop:

If you read between the lines, US Magazine implies that Paris Hilton herself leaked the tape:

*A FEW DAYS BEFORE THE PARIS HILTON SCANDAL ERUPTED, SHE LEFT THE COUNTRY,  HEADED FOR THE GOLD COAST OF AUSTRALIA -- THE MORNING THE STORY BROKE, SHE WAS PHOTOGRAPHED ON THE BALCONY OF HER HOTEL ROOM, KISSING THE WINNER OF THE SHOW "AUSTRALIAN IDOL", 21-YEAR-OLD ROBERT MILLS, WHO SHE'D MET THE NIGHT BEFORE

-- PARIS SEEMS FAR FROM PANIC-STRICKEN: SHE & HER SISTER NICKY HAVE BEEN PARTYING EVERY NIGHT -- AT MELBOURNE'S TOP NIGHTCLUB, SHE JUMPED ONSTAGE, GRABBED THE MIKE FROM A LOCAL SINGER & STARTED RAPPING WITH THE BAND -- 2 DAYS LATER SHE WAS PHOTOGRAPHED AT AUSTRALIA'S SEA WORLD -- THAT NIGHT, A REPORTER ARRIVED FROM NEW YORK TO GET HER REACTION TO THIS "INVASION OF HER PRIVACY"

-- HE SAYS "SHE JUST LAUGHED & PUSHED ME OUT OF THE WAY. HER ATTITUDE WAS LIKE 'THAT WAS 3 YEARS AGO, I'VE GOT A PARTY TO GO TO, SO IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME" --  PARIS SEEMS ACTUALLY HAPPY ABOUT HER NEWFOUND FAME -- SHE'S ALREADY WEALTHY BEYOND HER WILDEST DREAMS -- LAST JANUARY, HER MOM SAID "OUR NICKNAME FOR PARIS IS 'STAR'…SHE'LL DO ANYTHING TO BECOME FAMOUS" -- A SOURCE TELLS THE NEW YORK POST "PARIS HILTON IS #1 ON ALL THE FILE-SHARING SERVICES, AND ON E-BAY, THE  DEMAND IS OUTPACING THE SUPPLY" -- SHE'S A HIT IN HOLLYWOOD TOO -- A TOP P.R. EXECUTIVE SAYS "EVERYONE IN TOWN HAS A COPY, IT'S THE HOTTEST THING SINCE PAM & TOMMY. IN FACT, PAM & TOMMY BOTH OWN IT" -- IMAGINE HOW MUCH DIFFERENT THIS STORY WOULD'VE PLAYED OUT IF IT WAS PARIS WHO LEAKED THE TAPE? -- COPS ARE  INVESTIGATING, AND---OFF THE  RECORD---ONE OF THEM SAYS "IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME IF SHE DID"…


 

OTHER CRAP:

• Mike Piazza seeks a trade to an American League team, where he can DH when not catching. Also, he's still not gay.

• The A-Team Drinking Game

• Philadelphia's two top-rated light-rock radio stations have gone to wall-to-wall holiday music through Christmas Day. The DJ's have all changed their names to Yule. As in Yule Brynner, Yule Neverknow, and Yule of the Nile.

• The Smoking Gun: Rick Salomon's lawsuit against Paris Hilton

• Here is the latest on the Paris Hilton sex tape(s). (1) there are allegedly many other similar tapes (2) the 45 minute tape has been returned to the Hiltons by the Seattle-based entrepreneur who bought it, based on the possibility that Paris was a minor when she made it.

• Another Paris Hilton Tape ..?? In other news, two Philadelphia TV stations have switched to the all Paris Hilton format.

• Baseball to get serious about steroid testing and punishment

• Wachowskis being sued for having stolen the script to Matrix. I don't know if the suit has merit, but it would explain why #2 and #3 are so much inferior. They should have stolen some sequels while they were at it.

• Evil Overlord List: The Top 100 Things To Do If You Ever Became An Evil Overlord

• Cannibalism and your teen! VERY funny stuff.

• Courtney Love Pleads Not Guilty to drug possession {cough} Blowjob {cough}

• Heidi Klum to model an $11 million bra. I guess the National Enquirer reporter is not the only one going through J-Lo's trash.

• The new Harry Potter trailer

• Freak Southern California storm dumps rain, hail - Great Photo! It's hail, but Los Angeles appears to be covered with snow.

• Do you remember the film of The Devil and Daniel Webster, with Jennifer Love Hewitt as the devil? It was filmed, but it looks like it will never be seen.

• Cameron Diaz is in talks to star as a Playboy centerfold in raunchy new movie X-Girls.

• FHMUS.com - Vida Guerra Spectacular

• The battle of the brainpower - Mouseketeer vs Maryland's First Lady, reminiscent of the Lincoln-Douglas debates.

• IMDb salutes classic TV

• First reliever to win the Cy Young Award since 1989. Gagne seems like the right choice. I reckon Prior will have his day.

• Church Sign Generator

• Miss elementary school? Make-a-Flake - A snowflake maker

• Notre Dame has contacted the ACC and the Big Ten - 'inquiring' about joining the conferences. At this point, they are simply keeping their options open.

• STUFFMAGAZINE.com features the Denver Bronco cheerleaders

• Trailers and photos for Gothika (Halle Berry's new movie)

• NBA SIXERS: 2003-04 Dance Team

• Raunchy pop singer Xtina caused a commotion when she passed through an American airport recently - because her intimate piercings set off metal detectors.

• Dark Beer May Be Better for the Heart

• Man Buys TWO Winning Lotto Tickets

• This is quite amazing, A South Korean artist who creates all of his pictures on the spot using nothing but sand and his hands.

• Gillian Bonner was the playmate in April of 1996. Here is a free, nude Playmate Gallery courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!

• COMEDIANS at the British Comedy Awards will be warned not to crack jokes about the royal family. Stars including host Jonathan Ross, Ant and Dec and Steve Coogan are to be ordered not to mention the current crisis involving Prince Charles. An awards insider said: 'We feel it wouldn't be appropriate for the royal family to be the butt of the jokes.' So to speak.

• Weekly World News: "SHOWING bold and determined leadership, President Bush plans to add the tiny nation of Luxembourg to his growing list of conquests, according to a stunning published report. 'We've tolerated the insults of that pipsqueak country for too long,' Bush reportedly told the Joint Chiefs.

• Urgent government warning: "DON'T toast your marshmallows on the edge of volcanic craters."

• Whose careers are so not-hot that they are frigid? Among actors, Cuba Gooding tops the list

• A forthcoming copyright bill backed by key U.S. senators would place file swappers in prison for up to three years if they have a copy of even one prerelease movie in their shared folders.

• Will the Worm play in Beijing? Dennis Rodman may be taking his act to China in his latest effort to get back into the NBA. Sources close to the former Bulls forward insist he's seriously considering playing for a month in the Chinese professional league that sent center Yao Ming to the NBA.

• Bill Clinton, spokesmodel? A small clothing manufacturer in eastern China says it hopes to sign the former U.S. president to represent its brand, citing his ``worldwide charisma.' He will be modeling their new easy-open zipper.

• GREAT MOMENTS IN PLAYBOY HISTORY

• The Straight Dope: What's the origin of the words joint, roach, and stoned? Bottom line: he doesn't know. It is still worth reading.

• Wynonna Judd busted for DUI. The Smoking Gun has the mugshot.

Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

From Disks 2 and 3 of "Son of the Beach" Season 1.

Here are the Thumbnails:

• Thumbnails
• Thumbnails
• Thumbnails
• Thumbnails

Here are the highligts: Jaime Bergman and Leila Arcieri in a hot-oil wrestling match, from the episode "BJ Blue Hawaii".

• Jaime Bergman (1, 2, 3)
• Leila Arcieri (1, 2)

Leila Arcieri in a red bra that goes beyond pokies and approximates see-thru.

• Leila Arcieri's red bra in "Remember Her Titans" (1, 2)
• Leila Arcieri, more bikini cleavage and pokies from "Queefer Madness"

Kim Oja looking like a major hottie.

• Kim Oja showing serious pokies in the episode "From Russia With Johnson".
• Kim Oja looking simply fantasic in black undies from "South of Her Border"

Jaime Bergman and Victoria Silvstedt in bed together, after Victoria strips.

• Bergman and Silvstedt in bed from "The Last Dong is Dead".
• Bergman and Silvstedt kissing and rubbing up against each other, also from "The Last Dong is Dead".
• More Silvstedt from "The Last Dong is Dead". (1, 2, 3, 4)

Angelica Bridges as a mermaid in the episode "From Russia With Johnson".

• Angelica Bridges (1, 2, 3)

Janice Montellone and Linda Kim showing major thong views and just maybe some hooties (side views). Janice's caps are my pick of the litter.

• Janice Montellone in the "South of Her Border" episode. (1, 2)
• Linda Kim, in ""BJ Blue Hawaii". (1, 2)

Elisa Leonetti in two-sizes-too-small bikini and Rachel York in lingerie.

• Elisa Leonetti from episode "Chip's a Goy"
• Rachel York in the episode "A Star in Boned"

Here's Jaime Bergman as the always adorable B.J. Cummings showing tons of cleavage in several episodes.

• Bergman on all fours in very tight clothes, with frontal and rear views from "Attack of the Cocktopus.
• Bergman, cleavage from "Light My Firebush".
• Bergman, partial thong view and lingerie from the "Miso Honei" episode.
• Bergman, in "From Russia With Johnson".
• Bergman more bikini cleavage from "South of Her Border"
• From the "A Star in Boned" episode. In #2 she does the soapy car wash thing. (1, 2)
• Bergman once again bent over and showing cleavage. This time from "A Tale of Two Johnsons".

Two uncredited women with really nice bods. One of them is veteran nude model, Antoinette Abbott. I 'capped a couple other DVDs in which she gave up major goodies and gladly pass them along right here.

• Unknown
• Antoinette Abbott in "Son of the Beach" episode "Light My Firebush"
• Antoinette Abbott bonus Triple B nudity from "H.O.T.Y." (1, 2, 3)
• Antoinette Abbott bonus Triple B nudity from "Naked and Naughty". (1, 2)

'Caps and comments by Dann:
What's to say about this one: it's a Terminator movie, and is a great addition to the ass-kicking Scif-Fi series.

I thoroughly enjoyed the first two Terminators, and I liked this one as well. They kind of wrapped things up at the end of this one, so I don't think we'll see a T4, but you never know.

Rebecca Perle
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Suzee Slater
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

• A great pic of Courtney Love....But she swears she's off drugs and a good mom!

HILTON'S EX-LOVER SUING HER
He Wants MONEY From Her, Too?! - Rick Solomon, the man having sex with Paris Hilton in their infamous video, said he is suing Paris and her parents for defamation for claiming he released it. His spokesman claims the tape was stolen, and that because of the Hilton family, his client has "suffered substantial damage."