Spider's Web (2001) in what has been one of the worst months I can remember for DVD releases containing nudity, this direct to vid erotic thriller was an actual treat. I suspect that the studios elected not to compete with this month's powerhouse releases such as Star Wars, Spider-Man, and the The Fellowship of the Rings deluxe set, which, by the way is indeed deluxe.
Kari Wuhrer is an investment analyst for a company that invests blind trust funds, and finds herself up against a glass ceiling, and then fired, for trying to take credit for her own idea. As the film opens, we see her sitting topless at a computer chatting with her contact in Tokyo about a pending stock deal, with her lover for the night waiting in the background. We know immediately that we will be seeing a lot of skin from Kari and that she is a sharp business woman. And all this is during the opening credits. When she unceremoniously ushers out her flavor of the night the next morning, we know she is not to be taken lightly.
She ends up teamed with Stephen Baldwin in a plot to steal $40M from his father. I won't write a spoiler, but I will say that all of the plot twists are well set up earlier in the film, and that an attentive viewer will have a pretty good idea of what is going on, but they maintain suspense to the last scene even for those who have figured it all out early. Wuhrer can actually act, and Baldwin played his character well. Some of the minor characters also did a good job.
I suspect this was shot on the cheap on Digital Video, but it looks very good, and they did not attempt to push the capabilities of the camera past what it could do. As regular readers know, thrillers turn me off easily, with only one or two mistakes. The plot line here was consistent, and just complex enough to keep me guessing and interested. There was only one small line of dialogue that bothered me. When her boss fires Wuhrer, he says that she has had her skirt in a twist since she arrived. We all know the proper phrase is panties in a twist, bunch or wad. Other than that obvious bowdlerization, I was able to sit back and enjoy it.
Wuhrer shows breasts and buns in several scenes, some of them in good light, and has a great wet blouse and panties scene. We also see an unidentified blonde topless through a window as Wuhrer's detective friend takes surveillance photos of her. This is not going to replace Body Heat as one of my favorite erotic thrillers, but it made for a pleasant afternoon. I have to give it a C+. It has no crossover appeal, but the attention to detail in the script, and better than usual acting, make it a good genre effort.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
I worked on updates today:
- new encyclopedia volumes: Tane McClure, Fiona Richmond, Lina Romay,
Rebecca Romijn, Sydne Rome, Sylva Koscina.
- updated encyclopedia volumes: Salma Hayek, Goldie Hawn, Eva Herzigova,
Love those photos of Elke Sommer. I like the artistic glamour shots of the
classy beauties of the 60's, and have always had a particular
fondness for Elke Sommer. I'm just old enough that when I first started
noticing women in the movies, she's one of the first ones I noticed, along with
Julie Newmar and Ursula Andress. They don't make 'em like that anymore.
Thought I'd run a little mystery about her past you to see if you know anything
about it. A few years ago, Playboy did one of their anniversary issues
with photos of great beauties of earlier decades. The caption on the Elke
photo from the 1960s said something like, "And she's still breathtaking, as
Playboy readers will soon be finding out." It sounded like Elke was planning
one of those "I'm still hot, dadgummit" nude photo shoots, like the Joan
Collins spread of a few years earlier. However, this never appeared (I
subscribe, so I would've seen it), and Playboy never said another word about
it. Any idea what that was all about?
I haven't followed PB through the years, but I know some
of our readers are experts on bunny matters. Can you guys help out there?
- HERO of the day. Sometimes life is like the
movies. Maybe better.
A compassionate high school coach, up 42-0, gives up the shutout when he lets
a special kid on the other team score an unopposed TD. The youngster tried to
run the wrong way, but everyone on the field helped out and he got his score.
Both benches and the stands went nuts, erupting in tears and cheers! Has
Disney bought the rights yet?
Speaking of the movies, here's a horror picture.
Jackson shows his real face in court.
- "Car buyers in four US states will soon hear a religious appeal to their
environmental conscience: “What
would Jesus drive?”, Associated Press (AP) reported. AP said that a
Pennsylvania-based environmental group is planning television advertising in
North Carolina, Iowa, Indiana and Missouri to urge consumers to park their
pollutive SUVs -- Jesus would prefer a cleaner vehicle, the group contends."
- Hey, they should have called me. I know what God would drive. A Plymouth Fury. And he would drive it
recklessly to scare the enemies of his people, just like in that movie,
Christine. It says so right in Psalms
2:5 "Then he will terrify them in his Fury".
If you ever want to search the bible online, the
Virginia has it, plus all apocrypha, all searchable. They also have the
revised standard side-by-side with the King James, if you're really into it.
At last, the top secret Manhattan Project 2, the most important scientific
research team of this era, has developed its
first item of women's apparel made entirely of chocolate - the chocolate
bra. Earlier, failed attempts included the chocolate corset, chocolate socks,
and the ill-fated side products, the chocolate condom and the much-despised
- Dick Cheney
shows how one travels about in an undisclosed location
overrated sports events. My favorite - heavyweight fight weigh-ins. They
make a good point in the article - why do they need to weigh heavyweights at
all? Their weight class is unlimited. If they weigh 403, no problem. If they
weigh 125, no problem.
- you think people rag on your name? It could be
You could be named Al Kayda.
Simpson to get a boob job
- Weekly World News is on top of their game this
archeologist finds Venus de Milo's arms
- One more from WWN: On the way to Doomsday -
the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse got lost and had to ask for directions!
That is the story of a French police officer who claims that one of the
fearsome riders - "the war guy" - trotted up to him on the roadside and
sheepishly asked, "Do you know the way to Rome?"
Gennifer Flowers? She's back and suing Clinton. Hillary Clinton!
This suit is particularly loopy because Hillary isn't even involved directly
with the events mentioned. The suit is based on statements by Carville and
Stephanopolous. Hillary Clinton is named because she "was the
mastermind" behind the statements! Big Bubba and Frank
Gifford both could have avoided trouble if they followed Scoopy's #1 dating
tip: avoid women with silly spellings in their names. Date a girl named Susan
or Jennifer. They are normal. But a woman named Suzen or Gennifer is trouble
every time. Ah Gar-on-damn-tee it, y'betcha.
Harry Potter film hits the internet before it hits theaters!
West police website publishes false info about non-existent Eminem drug bust. Nobody
seems to know how it got there.
Comic book legend Stan Lee is suing Marvel Comics for his share of profits
from the Spiderman movie. "Marvel has reported millions of dollars
in earnings from the film but has told Lee the company has seen no profits as
defined by their contract." Lee is the man who created almost every classic
Marvel character, and is the father of Marvel Comics. Norrin Rad cried.
- This is a cool use of web animation.
Use your cursor to do
airport security checks.
- Strange concept -
Mad Magazine makes fun of The Onion. This follows the Drew Barrymore
rule, which states that if Tom Green thinks you're immature, you really
have some problems. Same thing applies if Mad thinks you're too juvenile.
- Former NBA player
signs a minor league hockey contract. He is approximately 8 feet tall in
skates. Is height an advantage in hockey? Come to think of it, he might make
a helluva goalie. (He will not play, by the way. At least I don't think so,
since nobody seems to think he can skate. Maybe he'll just do slidey-feet.)
Wal-Mart refuses to carry
Tom Arnold's book. You can't dispute their taste, but they chose a lame
reason. The word "penis" appears on the back cover, in reference to Arnold's
- Why do they
call NY the Big Apple? I wasn't convinced by this explanation, but it
spins a good yarn.
Brosnan saved Halle Berry from choking during their sex scene in the new
007 movie. Write your own joke in this space.
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded
into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant
humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or
Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
On Monday a reader asked about Stacie Lambert and whether she had made any other screen appearances. I know of no other, but agree with the reader that she was a looker with a great body! So we made some caps of her from "Sleepaway Camp 3". Rather gruesome scenes toward the end as she meets her demise. But of course, that's what a slasher movie is all about.
- Stacie Lambert, gorgeous breast exposure!
|The Sexy red-head gets its on and shows off much of her body in scenes from "Sexual Predator".
||The Adult and softcore actress also in sex scenes from "Sexual Predator". Full frontal views this time.
|Jamie Lee Curtis
|Some of the best toplessness ever...Jamie Lee in "Trading Places"! Breasts in #2, pokies and cleavage in #1.
||Nicole's bare bum in scenes from "Birthday Girl".
||Brief breast exposure from the tall, thin British actress in scenes from "Enigma".
|Mr Nude Celeb
|The largest images so far from "Femme Fatale".
Here's the breakdown:
Link #1, brief frontal
Link #2, topless
Links 3 and 4, side breast views
Link #5, great rear view (with undies)
|Shue pous booze on her breasts, and an Unknown is topless in scenes from "Leaving Las Vegas".
|Soaking wet with pokies from "Spider-Man".
|Breasts, bum and some serious bush from the Dutch actress in vidcaps from "Prénom Carmen" (1984).
|Gorgeous nude pics by famous photographer Patrick Demarchelier. These images of the supermodel are from 1992 and well worth a look.
||The young French actress topless in love scenes from "Jeanne et le garçon formidable"...aka "Jeanne and the Perfect Guy" (1999).
|The French actress shows off her fantastic breasts as she walks around nude for about 95% of her screen time in scenes from "Lifeforce" (1985). Thanks to Finn.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
ANNA NICOLE NEWS: PROZAC DOG AND MORE NUDENESS
Hide Some In Anna's Meatballs, Too - Anna Nicole Smith told Heat magazine
that her clingy dog Sugar Pie is now on Prozac for his depression and
anxiety. She also said she's considering stripping next season on her E!
Channel show because "I am disappointed that there has been no nudeness. I
don't mind being nude."
Her viewers might want to lay in a supply of Prozac.
But seeing her nude really terrifies Sugar Pie.
With a name like "Sugar Pie," he's probably terrified that she'll eat
JAMES BOND TURNING INTO A P.C. WIMP
We're Shaken And Stirred - Some James Bond fans are complaining that their
hero is being watered down by political correctness. They not only reigned
in his sex life in response to feminists and the AIDS crisis, but in the
next movie, he's a teetotaler. Instead of a dry martini, shaken not
stirred, he drinks only healthy mineral water. A spokesman for a 007 fan
club said it's sad, and that Bond is cool because of his reckless
No, Bond is cool because of that twangy guitar music they play when he's
taking his vitamin pills.
Hey, he still lives dangerously! Some of that bottled water is really
The new 007 is such an old man, they should get Sean Connery to play him
Have you seen Michael Jackson lately? I think the "King of Pop" should think about changing his name to the "King of Freaks"! This is a Reuters photo of "Jacko" taken in court on Wednesday. Funny, I always thought he was human. Guess I was wrong.