I'm taking some "working vacation," which means I'm still at my desk, but only 6-8 hours a day instead of 16. So I should be here with breaking news


Other Crap:

SI picks the top ten sports/sex scandals

Police across the country are stepping up patrols at theaters showing 50 Cent's film following the fatal shooting of man inside a Pittsburgh cineplex.

Film Jerk's Early Report for November 12

  • This week's Early Report covers the 62 known new movies opening in theatres or expanding their runs between Wednesday November 16 and Wednesday December 28

Daily Box Office - Friday, November 11, 2005

  • Chicken Little dominated the stats, grossing more than the next two films added together.
  • Another kiddie picture, Zathura, opened in the #2 slot
  • Aniston's Derailed was #3
  • The 50 Cent Movie was #5
  • Places 2-5 were all in a virtual dead heat, so their order may differ for the weekend total
  • Pride and Prejudice was an unexpected top ten finisher, despite being on only 215 theaters. Its average per screen was about one and a half times as much as Chicken Little

If you have a million dollars, you can hire Russell Crowe to sing at your Christmas Party.

  • As I see it, this is a freebie. In fact, he's actually going to end up paying you to come and sing, because Russell is sure to do something while he's there that will allow you to sue him for more than a million.

Wal-Mart apologizes because employee told the truth!

Tight Sonics defense holds the Wizards to 137. (And the Wizards' starters averaged only 25 minutes each.)

The HD Trailers for Monster House, a 3D animation film.

Alleged spyware manufacturer sues spyware detecting software. By the logic of their lawsuit, any spyware can stay invulnerable to detection forever, as long as they declare so in their terms of use! Brilliant.

Thief robs banks while chatting on a cell phone.

Woman building a high-end home out of an old 747

Did Dubya's grandfather rob Geronimo's grave?

A sample of the illusions in David Copperfield's new Vegas-style show - "The Cheesiest Magic Ever"!

Conan reviews the new "video IPod" ads

Japanese heated bra aims to save the world

The trailer for The Benchwarmers

  • "'The Benchwarmers' tells the story of three guys who try to make up for their lack of athleticism when they were younger by forming a three-man baseball team to challenge a full squad of elementary school baseballers. They develop a large following of left-out kids as they head for a high-stakes, winner-take-all game with the best team of kids in the state."
  • It stars Rob Schneider, David Spade, and that Napoleon Dynamite guy

The trailers for Akbar Khan's Taj Mahal - now, new and improved, with Mumtaz!

Cheerleadergate - Day 6: Cheerleader Says She Was Crying, Not Having Sex (The best part? Her lawyer's name is Joe Episcopo. After I read this, I checked the URL to see if I was reading The Onion.)

David Spade discusses the new, fat Tyra Banks

Stephen Colbert interviews Cokie Roberts

The Colbert Report discusses Veteran's Day

  • It was a dying holiday. "Thankfully, President Bush has a solution to save Veteran's Day by creating new veterans."

Jon Stewart discusses The Price of Oil. The Persian Gulf is home to the largest reserves of oil and the largest reserves of unrest.

Jon Stewart talks to actor/comedian/author Chris Elliott

The great novelists of the last century? I think it all boils down to three: James Joyce, William Faulkner and, of course, Nicole Richie:


It's online. It's free. It's worth every penny. If you really want to absorb some high culture, you can read the first chapter of The Truth About Diamonds: A Novel by Nicole Richie.

Howstuffworks ... "How the Death Star Works"

One reason to watch My Name is Earl ... Jamie Pressley In Bikini

NFL, Coliseum in preliminary stages for return to L.A. (Rumor has it that the Saints are going to try to stay somewhere in Louisiana. I read that the Saints owner and the Louisiana governor had reached some kind of understanding.)


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.


"Sex Spa II: Body Work"

Sex Spa II: Body Work (2004) is a late night couples softcore. These, according to our rating system, are compressed between B- and D+, based on two facts. Very few are good enough to please people who dislike sex and nudity, and nearly all have liberal amounts of sex and nudity, and hence usually satisfy at least some of the genre audience. A very rare softcore will have crossover appeal. Examples include Warm Texas Rain, The Lovers, Emmanuelle, Wild Orchid and 9 1/2 weeks. While those films have the genre defining sex and nudity, they have plot, pace, acting, lovely cinematography, and decent production value. In other words, they are good movies that have significant soft core content.

At the bottom of the heap are cheapie films that are so inept, even genre lovers wish they hadn't bothered. Assume a film, unwatched, rates a C. The genre standard is weak story, dubious acting, annoying music, boring sex scenes, but full frontal and rear nudity from a variety of women clearly photographed. For it to rate a C+, it must have some of the following:

A somewhat engaging plot
Hot sex scenes, in other words, we believe the actors are enjoying it
A little pace, especially in the sex scenes. Lets face it, sex can be programmed in three steps, IN, OUT, LOOP.
Dialogue that seems scripted or believable
A variety of female body types

A film will drop below C if:

The music overpowers everything else
The dialogue is obviously badly ad-libbed
There is no attempt at a story
The cinematography hides the nudity
No pace or variety in the sex scenes
There is no full-frontal

Given that, Sex Spa 2 is a C-. The dialogue is badly ad-libbed, the sex scenes lack passion and variety, and the music is annoying. It is clearly photographed, and contains full frontal and rear nudity from Jessica Drake, Michelle Lay, Kaylani Lei and Mary Carey.

Lei and her ex lover Mark work at a spa, but dream of opening their own to get out from under the bitch of an owner they currently work for, Michelle Lay. Mark provides a full service massage, especially for any women who might be able to afford investing in his own spa, such as Mary Carey and Jessica Drake. Lei is strictly a good girl. She is also the brains of the two. Two more lines would be a detailed plot description, so I will stop here.

Jessica Drake

Kaylani Lei

Mary Carey

Michelle Lay


Today from the Ghost...Skinemax babe Landon Hall baring all in scenes from the late night series, "Erotic Confessions".

Landon Hall

Yesterday we had the Time Machine back in 1970 so we thought as long as we were there, why not take a look at another flick from that same year. So today we try our hand at "Getting into Heaven".

Here's Jennie Lynn, who gives it all up as she is at first a little reluctant to submit to her date, but in the end she becomes a more than willing partner.

Jennie Lynn

Then there's blonde bombshell Phyllis Stengel who doesn't reveal as much as Jennie, but she has one fine looking chest.

Phyllis Stengel

Uschi Digard was in this one too ( wasn't she in all the seventies skin flicks ?), but we ran out of time as we had to get home for a weekend trip.So tomorrow we will give you a BIG ( pun intended) look at Uschi.

I don't know much about German actress Beatrice Manowski. She has her own volume in the Encyclopedia but seems to have faded into oblivion. But she didn't do so without having done some decent nude scenes some 10 years ago in the German TV-series "Und Tschüß".

These three clips come from two different episodes and Bea amply shows all 3 B's. (1, 2, 3)

What more can you ask for? How about more shows like this dammit!

'Caps and comments by Spaz:

"Trudeau II: The Making of a Maverick" miniseries (2005)
Recently aired prequel about the former Canadian Prime Minister this time with more nudity by the french-canadian lasses.

Suzanne Tremblay:
dorsal nudity getting it on with P.E.T.

"Shania: A Life in Eight Albums" (2005)
Another recently aired movie this time about Shania Twain.

Meredith Henderson:
one bare bellybutton scene.

""Golden Will: The Silken Laumann Story" (1996)
Older movie about a Canadian rower.

Nancy Sakovich:
sporting some cameltoe.

"Big Bear"
A 1998 miniseries

Diane Debassige:
obvious booby double

"Dead Like Me"
From the episode My Room

Joelly Segal:
cleavage as biker ho

"Rescue Me" season II
From the episode Bitch. Callie Thorne continues her lesbian fling with blonde Brette Taylor.

Callie Thorne:
nice bikini cleavage

"The L Word" season II
From episode "Loud & Proud"

Carrie Fleming:
cleavage tied up by lesbian dominatrix

From episode "The Promise"

Carrie Clayton:
boobs as nude model (syndicated episode only)

From season 2 of the sci-fi series

Louise Wischermann:
episode Lyekka, full nude but with the boobs and genitalia of a Barbie doll.
Xenia Seeberg:
Susanne Mentzer:
episode Stan's Trial, partial boob.
Ellen-Ray Hennessy:
episode Luvliner, cleavage and pokies
uncredited hookers and strippers

From Señor Skin, here is Italian babe Laura Antonelli showing off her very lovely breasts as well as a bit o' bum in scenes from "Sessomatto" aka "How Funny Can Sex Be?" (1973).

Vejiita takes a look at the French movie "36 Quai des Orfèvres" (2004). "Rain Man" co-star Valeria Golino shows a little toplessness.

Here is Austrian actress Catrin Striebeck topless in a couple of scenes from the German movie "Gegen die Wand" aka "Head-On". 'Caps by Flautista