"Curse of the Erotic Tiki"
Curse of the Erotic Tiki (2004) is a soft core comedy from Fred Olin Ray, which IMDb is currently listing as Bikini a Go Go. Most of the comedy is in the character names. The two heros are Janet (Beverly Lynne) and Brad. We also have a Mr. Rogers. Brad and Janet are going steady, but are both very conservative, until Brad finds the erotic tiki necklace at work in a bikini shop. The necklace is given to Janet, and wearing it turns her into a wanton. The two blonde bimbos who own the bikini shop, Stacey Burke and Caily Taylor, don't need any necklace to drop their clothes and their inhibitions. Nikki Fritz is the real owner of the magic tiki, which was inadvertently sent out with a Hawaiian short shipment to the store. She wants it back, and tasks her anatomically correct cyborg to satisfy her, then retrieve it.
All four women give a three B performance, including girl/girl, girl.guy, and girl/girl/girl scenes. They have an optional hooter horn on the DVD, which sounds each time a sex scene is about to start. Frankly, it is unnecessary, as there is less than 10 minutes in the entire running time that have no nudity. The color palette is bright, and very saturated, and the video quality is very good. If the story were more than just a premise, this could be a decent film, but, as is, it certainly delivers on naked women and simulated sex. C.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Short Cuts (1993):
Robert Altman is considered to be one of the greatest
film directors in history, and Short Cuts is rated fourth best among
the 34 theatrical films with a rating at IMDb.
- (7.79) -
Player, The (1992)
- (7.79) -
- (7.68) -
- (7.59) -
Short Cuts (1993)
- (7.51) -
3 Women (1977)
- (7.47) -
McCabe & Mrs. Miller
- (7.30) -
Gosford Park (2001)
- (7.26) -
Long Goodbye, The
- (7.06) -
- (7.00) -
Vincent & Theo
- (6.89) -
- (6.79) -
Thieves Like Us
- (6.75) -
Come Back to the
Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean (1982)
- (6.65) -
Wedding, A (1978)
- (6.56) -
Secret Honor (1984)
- (6.44) -
- (6.38) -
- (6.29) -
Company, The (2003)
- (6.28) -
- (6.11) -
- (5.87) -
That Cold Day in the
- (5.86) -
James Dean Story,
- (5.82) -
Kansas City (1996)
- (5.76) -
Perfect Couple, A
- (5.71) -
Gingerbread Man, The
- (5.40) -
Buffalo Bill and the
Indians, or Sitting Bull's History Lesson (1976)
- (5.27) -
Fool for Love (1985)
- (5.09) -
- (5.02) -
O.C. and Stiggs
- (4.82) -
- (4.82) -
- (4.82) -
Dr. T & the Women
- (4.55) -
- (4.32) -
Beyond Therapy (1987)
So it it really that good? Yes and no.
It is the best of films; it is the worst of films ...
It has a great script. Altman made Short Cuts from a
group of stories (actually nine short stories and a poem) written by
Raymond Carver, one of the great voices of the American working
class. Raymond Carver was born in 1938, which means he was too young
to experience the Great Depression, but he grew up in a home without
indoor plumbing, so he was essentially an anachronism, a man who
lived a Depression-era lifestyle even though his life was actually
happening during America's sunny post-war prosperity. The people he
observed were struggling to break even.
Carver's family consisted of blue collar laborers in
Yakima, in the part of Washington State east of the Cascades, in the
heart of America's fruit basket. His dad was an alcoholic mill
worker who died young, his mom worked in diners and general stores.
Their story is mirrored in the film's characters played by Tom Waits
and Lily Tomlin. Fascinatingly, the Earl and Doreen characters in
Carver's short story, "They're Not Your Husband", were not that
similar to Carver's parents, but Altman out-Carvered Carver, and
brought the characters into line with episodes from Carver's other
stories, as well as his life.
Altman didn't so much adapt Carver's stories as use
them for inspiration in a multi-layered process.
The only thing holding the stories together
originally was a theme of modern urban alienation. Altman took the
Short Cuts and wove the unrelated stories together. He formed a
cinematic novel from the short stories. The car which struck the
little boy was driven by the diner waitress, for example. Each story
formed a some kind of link to some other story, as Altman and his
co-author concentrated on making the transitions and connections.
Sometimes the links are tight, sometimes a background character from
one story just shows up as a background player in another story.
Sometimes the sub-plots have a resolution, sometimes they are
open-ended and just drift off when the film's focus shifts.
Altman then placed the story in a definite time and
place - in Los Angeles, not in the fruit country, in a period of a
few days, starting with a medfly scare and ending with
a strong earthquake.
I believe Altman and his co-author Frank Barhydt did
a tremendous job on the script, and that makes the film work. Very
effectively. If the script had been awarded as the "Best Sceenplay
Adapted from Another Medium", I would not have breathed one peep of
protest. It is that good. Its only weakness is a melodramatic
tendency to take the easy road to audience sympathy, with dying
children and bloody murders and the like. I forgave that tendency
toward the operatic because the film was so good at handling so many
real moments in people's lives, and because it has a lot of wicked
humor to balance off the bathos.
The Academy chose to nominate Altman as Best Director, but ignored
his screenplay. The Golden Globes had it the other way around, which
makes more sense to me. Having already heaped encomium on the film,
I have to add that Altman the director was not nearly as effective
as Altman the screenwriter.
There are some really sloppy moments here. Altman has
never really learned how to film an action scene. Let's face it,
that's not his thing and normally wouldn't matter, but it causes some confusion here. Two
examples come to mind (1) Chris Penn beats a girl to death far from
the camera (I think), but I couldn't really tell if that is what was
happening. We later hear an announcer say that the girl was a
casualty of the earthquake. But two people, including her
girlfriend, saw him beating her,
didn't they? Why didn't they report it? I didn't get it. (2) In the car accident, it is obvious
- make that VERY obvious - that the car stopped as much as ten feet
away from the
boy. Since the script required the youngster to walk away from
the accident, I thought that she didn't hit him at all.
As far as I can see, there was no artistic reason to make these scenes
ambiguous. They are just not filmed very well. Altman should have
brought in a consultant who knows about such things.
In addition, I get very irritated
by Altman's obsession with non-actors and bad actors. I don't
know if he thinks these people bring some kind of street cred or
something, but they often get stuck messing up a good scene by
acting like a deer in the headlights. The most egregious example in
this case was Lyle Lovett, who walked and talked like Robby the
Robot. Altman had some great actors in the film: Jennifer Jason
Leigh, Robert Downey Jr., Julianne Moore, Jack Lemmon, Bruce
Davison, and Frances McDormand, to name a few. When the good actors
are on screen, this film absolutely sparkles. I mean it just grabs
your heart. The scene between Jack Lemmon and Bruce Davison is made
emotionally rich by the pauses and nuances that good actors create.
But one of the most powerful scenes in the film - the
confrontation between the angry baker and the angrier mother of the
dead child - is really ruined by the fact that the two actors are
Lyle Lovett, a non-actor, and Andie MacDowell, who is not much
better. I really wish that Altman would abandon his fascination with
non-actors, and I wish he would keep his potential over-actors (Tim
Robbins, Matthew Modine, Madeleine Stowe, and Fred Ward, for
example) under better control.
Finally, the film is more than three hours long. It
surprises me that Altman couldn't find anything to cut, because I'll
betcha I could knock out 20 minutes from it, show it to people who
have seen it, and they'd never know it was missing. The drunken,
washed-up lounge singer warbles song after song in real time, while
she is in the story's focus rather than in background. She could
easily be shown singing the first few bars, followed by a change of
focus to the conversations in the lounge. Not only would you never
notice the change, but the film would probably be better because ...
well, to be charitable, this woman can't sing for shit any more. She
began her singling career in 1937, and this film was made in 1993. I
know she was supposed to be over the hill, but that point can be
inferred about ten seconds after she opens her mouth.
I guess I'm quibbling. I like this movie. A lot. Even
at 187 minutes of meandering plotting, I rarely lost interest in it.
In fact, the only time I lost interest was during Annie Ross's
interminable songs. The actual character interaction is fascinating.
If you liked Magnolia or American Beauty, but would like a little
more humor mixed in, this is your kind of film.
The Criterion DVD is a beauty. Just about everything you could
Disk 1 is a newly remastered high definition transfer of the film.
Disk 2 has numerous features: some short deleted scenes, the
trailers and ads, new conversations between Altman and Tim Robbins,
a feature-length "making of" documentary, a PBS documentary on the
life of Raymond Carver, a BBC segment on the development of the
screenplay, a hour-long radio interview with Carver, and more.
The package also includes a souvenir booklet written by a top film
critic, and the complete peperback version of the Carver short
Female nudity report:
- Julianne Moore shows her red pubic hair and her bum. (1,
- Madeleine Stowe shows her breasts in two scenes. (1,
- Lori Singer does a full-frontal nude scene, albeit seen
through a fence and far from the camera. (1,
- Frances McDormand is seen topless and naked from the side. Her
bum and pubic hair are seen in a quick glimpse.(1,
- Some unnamed woman plays the naked murder victim (1,
Mailbox and a possible
I meant to write on the first of the month, when you noted your nine
years with the site. I've been with you for much of that time, and
I've noticed an interesting phenomenon in the last couple years:
more and more stretches of prose between the image links. I don't
know how many of your visitors skip the words and head for the
pictures, but I find myself realizing that I would actually pay a
subscription for a site that had only your reviews, without any of
the images. I also have to admit to hypocrisy. I often quote you in
discussions with my friends, but I tend to conveniently forget which
critic I'm quoting ("I don't remember; I just know I read it online
somewhere") rather than admit that I got my opinions from a site
that still exists largely to publish photos of naked actresses.
Peter only denied Jesus three times; I've long since left the saint
in the dust on the denial front.
Now the correction: a few weeks ago you identified the topless woman
on the boat in the remake of Dawn of the Dead as Luigia Zucaro.
Wrong. She played the naked woman wandering around the wrecked bus
toward the beginning of the film. The topless woman on the boat was
(and I have IMDB to back me up on this) Kim Kerns.
1. I don't blame you. I wouldn't quote me
either, except, of course, for the fact that anything I type is ipso
facto, quoting me. I'm trapped in the Mudd's Robot Paradox. But if I
had a choice ...
2. I turn this ID matter over to Spaz,
master of all things Canadian, to determine which one is the
Canadian Zucaro. Spaz, what's your verdict?
Bill Simmons of ESPN looks forward to the second half of the NFL
I have no idea who Aida Yespica is, but her 2005 calendar is
David Beckham buys Posh a two million dollar platinum vibrator.
Mick Jagger says he also wants to buy one.
First "Chasing Amy", then "Gigli", now a whole club full. What
is the deal with Ben Affleck and lesbians?
You can stop looking. The Boulder, Colorado police have found
Waldo. (Check out the file name - waldo1.jpg)
Is U.N. secretary-general covering up Oil-for-Food scandals?
One suggestion is that Annan himself may have been skimmin' off
the top, when a lucrative contract was handed to a company that
employed Annan's son. So far it's just rumor and innuendo, but
it may get juicy.
A Google Image Search for Bill Maher's girlfriend: "Coco Johnsen".
Her lawsuit didn't mention that she was a NUDE model. It seemed
to stress the airline flight attendant portion of her career.
NYC electronic sign reads, "Pretty girls don't ride the subway"
Bin Laden expert resigns from CIA to speak openly.
"Author Michael Scheuer, former chief of the CIA's Osama bin
Laden unit, announced Thursday that he had resigned from the
agency so he could speak openly about terrorism and what he sees
as the government's failure to understand the threat from al-Qaida."
It has been confirmed that Hef's big surprise celebrity
pictorial for December turned out to be the Wild Thang herself,
- Why British newspapers are so much better, example #1084.
"I love a bum spank", accompanied by a photo of her
Kerry still has a chance - in New Mexico!
With production scheduled to begin early next year, the $100
million film, THE GOOD SHEPHERD, has lost financing.
The CIA flick was to have been a Leo DiCaprio starrer, directed
by Robert DeNiro
One of the oddest advertising concepts of all time - using porn
stars and golf to sell Playstation 2
The Village People followed up one of their biggest hits with
the lesser-known "In the Air Force"
Revolution Studios is negotiating to acquire 'Freedomland'.
- If they can acquire it from Paramount, Revolution's Joe
Roth would direct. The movie would mark a change of pace for
Roth, more known for comedies like 'America's Sweethearts' and
the upcoming 'Christmas With the Kranks'.
- The gritty 'Freedomland' deals with the aftermath of a
carjacking that becomes a racially charged media sensation.
Richard Price has adapted his best-selling book into a
screenplay. Julianne Moore and Samuel L. Jackson are in talks
Madonna has been named one of the most powerful Jewish Americans.
- That's odd. She doesn't look American. (And she certainly
doesn't sound American). Moreover, she claims she isn't
- J.J. Goldberg, editor of a Jewish weekly called The
Forward, said, "She's probably the world's best known
practitioner of Judaism right now."
"Nicole Kidman is desperate to become pregnant."
Tommy Lee says he prefers to have sex with plump women.
Check out production designs and watch the trailer for the
long-awaited film version of 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the
Clooney won't attend awards shows unless he's nominated.
I guess that places him in the "low risk" category for the Oscar
ceremony unless they re-release Batman & Robin.
John Ashcroft Resignation: Letter from Attorney General John
Ashcroft Resigning His Position as America's Top Muslamoid Gulag
Warden . (Whitehouse.org)
John Ashcroft Sings: Ashcroft & Bacon Gospel Album: TRUTH Volume
One, Edition One
The Daily Show's Samantha Bee reports on the death of 'terrorist
/ freedom fighter' Yasser Arafat.
How to fake having a girlfriend.
The Playmate Gallery takes a trip back to 1966, Courtesy of
Four free videos from Playboy's Cheerleaders & College Girls!
National Lampoon looks behind the scenes at Revenge of the Sith.
"My uncle held the job of Leia's golden bikini
Here, finally, is the trailer for Elektra
Democrats already focused on how to lose in 2008.
Even as you read this, they are combing through the ranks of New
York and Massachusetts ultra-liberals in search of the candidate
who will be the least acceptable to Middle America. They are
really hoping to find an atheist lawyer who used to be a college
Tony Soprano wants out of the mob.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
The Bridges at Toko-Ri (1955)
You can tell from the date and the name of the
actress that there is no real nudity, but this was one of the best
teases of the 50s.
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
Words, pictures, and vids from
Hello comrade Scoopy !
Can I interest you in some nudity from a country that no
longer exists ? I am talking about the German Democratic
Republic, the communist workers' paradise. I don't think
they had girlie magazines there because that was considered
exploiting women. Of course when those women were naked in a
movie for practically no reason it was presumably considered
art and that must have been okay for the people's eyes. And
so a certain Roswitha Marks (what's in a name) ended up
showing all 3 B's in the 1975 movie "Hostess". Her comrade
Annekathrin Bürger went only topless in the same flick but
to the tones of what must have been some very hip
Seventies music in a communist country.
True Woman (1999) - Part 3
Meanwhile poor Shu Qi, who didn't have the luck of being born
in a socialist paradise, continues to be cruelly exploited by
capitalism in this third clip from her DVD True Woman. Luckily
she didn't need the authorities to protect her against herself
and free enterprise, and look, she is successful by being her
own woman and choosing her own path to stardom.
That's all for today, I've rambled on long enough already.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today the Ghost takes a look at the grade Z flick "Galactic Odyssey" aka "Starquest II" (1997). This movie is a complete waste of time that is lost somewhere in between a mega-lo budget sci-fi flick and a Skinemax movie. Basically, they hired some decent actors that really needed the work. However, the producers didn't bother spending any money on a script, sets or even film. But they did have a lot of stock footage from several other mega-lo budget Roger Corman movies from the 70's!
- Gretchen Palmer shows robo-boobs and a fully nude side view as she rides a dude.
- Gretchen Palmer zipped .wmvs. Yes, that's Freddy Krueger watching them in clip #2.
- Jeannie Millar...the exotic B-babe topless and showing thong views in 4 different scenes.
- Jeannie Millar zipped .wmvs. Plenty of strip and wiggle action. Freddy looks on in #4.
- Kate Rodger, toplessness plus side brief rear views in a love scene.
- Kate Rodger zipped .wmvs
|Tilly busting out even more cleavage than usual! Great 'caps from her "Seed of Chucky" world tour appearance on the Dennis Miller show.
|Don Juan 'caps of Camp bringing out the big guns in scenes from "Apocalypse Now Redux".
||Wearing an interestingly revealing top and showing us where we should be looking. 'Caps from her Thursday night appearance on Conan.
||Twitchy 'caps of the former "Saved by the Bell", "90210" and "Fastlane" star stuffed into a tight, white tank top. Scenes from the Woody Allen movie "Hollywood Ending" (2002).
|An awesome find by Señor Skin! From a 'posing nude for a photoshoot" video called "Edenquest: Pamela Anderson" (1995). All the ladies are tanned and topless as they strike a few poses for the camera. The Pam we have here is version 2.1. Not all original equipment, but also no super silly-cones. Plus her body is a little more full and smooth, unlike the current 2% body fat look she has now.
Other points of interest...Skinemax babe Shauna O'Brien also appears without the after market big'uns.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
MADONNA DENOUNCES MATERIALISM
Lotsa de Hypocrisy - Madonna is about to bring out her fifth
Kabbalah-inspired children's book. It's called "Lotsa de Casha." It's
about an Italian greyhound named Lotsa de Casha who is stinking rich and
thinks only of himself, but he's unhappy. The moral is that wealth is
overrated and can't buy happiness.
Madonna expects to make MILLIONS off this book!
Lotsa de Casha's girlfriend is a rich bitch named Madonna de
Her next book will teach girls how awful it is to use sex to get ahead.
BILL MAHER: MATRIMONIALLY INCORRECT
He Only Makes Indecent Proposals - Comic Bill Maher was hit with a $9
million palimony suit by ex-girlfriend Nancy "Coco" Johnson, a former
flight attendant and nude model. She dated Maher for 17 months and claims
he promised to marry her and have children. Johnson, who is black, also
accuses Maher of making unspecified "degrading racial comments" and being
physically and verbally abusive. But the only example she gives is an
incident at a party when he allegedly pulled her arm and shook her and
later told her he'd hit her on the head with a hammer if she was
If she thought Bill Maher would marry her, someone must've already hit
her on the head with a hammer.
Maher demands absolute fidelity from all the nude models he dates.
And she's upset that he WON'T marry her?
But she just knows that he'd make a WONDERFUL father!
TV STATIONS FEAR AIRING "RYAN"
Today On "Oprah": Breast Exams - Last night, ABC aired "Saving Private
Ryan" uncut for Veteran's Day, but nearly 20 affiliates refused to air it
for fear its profanity and violence would bring another big FCC fine. It's
aired before and the FCC didn't mind, but the Janet Jackson incident has
stations spooked. In Dallas, the ABC station showed "Oprah" instead.
It was an episode on celebrity bikini waxes called "Shaving
Meg Ryan's Privates."
You should've heard the profanity in the homes of veterans.
They considered showing "Extreme Makeover," but that's bloodier.
Proving that not all the boobs in the TV business are attached to Janet