I'm taking some "working vacation," which means I'm still at my desk, but only 6-8 hours a day instead of 16. So I should be here with breaking news


Other Crap:

Letterman's "Top Ten Good Things About Being An 18-Year-Old Mayor"
  • 10. "Parents try to tell me what to do, I raise their taxes"
  • 6. "I got a call from Demi Moore"
  • 3. "School bullies now have to deal with the Feds"
  • 2. "Only victory speech featuring the word 'Dude'"

Unusual Christmas gift list: Replica of Charlie Brown's Xmas tree

The top nude scenes, by year since 1999, as chosen by the Fun House.

iDoom now available on iPod nano

Kalamazoo Public Schools announce groundbreaking scholarship program

  • I've never heard of anything like this before.

Weekly World News demands . . . BAN ROCK MUSIC FROM DUBYA'S iPOD!

The Daily Show: "Clearly it's time for Congress to look like it's taking action."

Shooting has begun on Road House 2: Last Call.

  • Full name: Road House 2: Last Call, coming up right after Beastmaster
  • Ben Gazzara character: dead
  • Sam Elliott character: dead
  • Patrick Swayze: not in the movie
  • Patrick Swayze's character: not in the movie
  • Will Patton plays Dalton's brother. Jonathan Schaech plays Dalton's son.

Pat Robertson warns Pennsylvania voters of God's wrath. (The voters of Dover threw out their school board for supporting "intelligent design")

Al Franken eyes a run for Junior Senator from Minnesota in 2008

  • Franken said there have been actors in the White House and the Senate, though "never a comedian."
  • So America won't elect a funny guy? That shouldn't hurt Franken any!
  • Actually, I'm not sure I agree with his statement. It depends on your definition of "comedian." Both JFK and Ronald Reagan were much funnier than Franken.
  • What am I saying? EVERY president has been funnier than Franken except Silent Cal Coolidge and William Henry Harrison, and even those two guys would have been embarrassed to have written those Stewart Smalley sketches.

Johnny Cash's daughter walked out of "Walk the Line" - five times.

Vazquez requests trade to be close to family

  • Yeah, we'll see how much he likes the East Coast when that contract offer arrives from the Devil Rays. Why don't these guys just tell the truth? "I'd like to be traded to a team that doesn't suck."

Dolphins can do math.

Papua New Guinea fights AIDS with sorcery, a technique soon to be incorporated into Kansas textbooks.

The San Francisco Chronicle responds to Bill O'Reilly's latest rant.

The way we were: 1943 Guide to Hiring Women

Study finds ice cream trucks to be the leading cause of insanity

An Interview With The "Lee Corso Is A Penis" Guy

The traler for The Libertine

  • Johnny Depp stars in "The Libertine" as the scandalously decadent John Wilmot, the second Earl of Rochester. The film follows the Earl's adventures in London, from his passionate romance with a young actress, Elizabeth Barry (Samantha Morton), to the writing of a scurrilous play which blisteringly and bawdily lampoons the very monarch who commissioned it, Charles II (John Malkovich), leading to the Earl's banishment and eventual downfall.

ARNOLD WARNS CALIFORNIA: I'LL RETURN TO ACTING Angry Schwarzenegger Makes Ultimate Threat to State's Voters

  • “For those of you who don’t think I’m serious, let me say just five words,” Gov. Schwarzenegger said. “’Jingle All The Way 2.’”


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.



Fantasm (1976) is an Australian exploitation film cast and shot in the US. Film makers Richard Bruce and Antony I. Ginnane, realizing that Australia would soon be adopting the "R" rating, allowing soft core into the country, decided to make one and jump start their career. They settled on a sex comedy, and chose to make a mockumentary of women's sexual fantasy. They first tried to cast it in Australia, with no luck, and decided to move the production to Hollywood. It also occurred to them that, while the names of the popular adult stars were well known in Australia, they had never been seen. So, armed with $50K and a ten day shooting schedule, they shot a fantasy a day for 10 days, then returned to Australia to add dialogue tying the scenes together -- supposedly a German shrink introducing the episodes.

The film announces its intent during the opening credits, with Ronnie Sholes stark naked and masturbating. She was the only Australian actress in the film.

Episode one: The Beauty Parlor. Dee Dee Levitt is taken to dinner by her hair dresser, then brought back to his salon for a private makeover, which includes shaving her. She shows breasts and bush.

Episode two: The Card Game. Maria Aronoff resents her husband inviting other couples to the house. She imagines a strip poker game where the men play and the women pay. Her husband is not a good poker player, and both of the other men have sex with her. She gives a three B performance. We also see breasts and buns from the other two women, played by Helen O'Connell and Wendy Cavenaugh.

Episode three: Wearing the Pants, is perhaps the strangest of the ten. Gretchen Gayle dreams that being a man would be more fun, then sees a man stealing her undies from the clothes line, and hiding in the bushes to put them on. She grabs him, drags him into the house, flogs him, then reams him with a strap-on. She shows a headless nipple, and partial bush in her "dominatrix" outfit.

Episode four: Nightmare Alley is the popular rape fantasy with Rene Bond. It is very moody and atmospheric. She is walking through dark alleys, feeling like she is being followed, when a box pulls her into his gym ring, and takes her. This is another 3 B performance.

Episode five: The Girls, features Maria Lutra as a slender girl who imagines herself boring, plain and unappealing. She finds herself in a sauna with her polar opposite, Uschi Digart, and the two enjoy a little girl on girl. Uschi shows three Bs, and Lutra breasts and buns.

Episode six: Maria Welton has an often absent and very jealous husband. She dreams of actually doing some of the things she is accused of. She is longing by her pool, playing with herself, and eating tropical fruit when Neptune (John Holmes) emerges from her pool, smears her with juices from the fruit, then takes her in the pool. I am not entirely sure all of the sex here was simulated. Her lips did touch Neptune's spear, and it sure looks like John found his mark to me in the last image. I have included a shot of Holmes emerging from the pool for those who aren't familiar with his asset. This shot impressed Australian female audience members.

Episode seven: Mother's Darling is the incest mother son fantasy, with Candy Samples seducing her son, back from Nam. She shows all three Bs.

Episode eight: Black Velvet, stars Shayne as a high price call girl who never gives the customers what they want, but rather strips for them. This is the weakest of the 10 episodes. Shayne does show all three Bs.

Episode nine: After School has Roxanne Brewer back in school, but gaining the upper hand over the teacher. She shows breasts and buns.

Episode ten: Serena is the guest of honor at a satanic ritual. Again, a three B performance.

The film was banned in Queensland, generating enough publicity to insure that it was a huge box office success in the rest of Australia. It has become a cult favorite for many reasons. It is very Un-PC, concentrates mid 70s hard core talent in one place, and is entertaining in parts.

IMDb cast list is incomplete, and has some character names wrong. 34 readers have it at 4.3 of 10. This is sexploitation at its finest. IF you love the genre as much as I do, it is a must see. C+.

Candy Samples

Dee Dee Levitt

Gretchen Gayle

John Holmes

Maria Arnoff

Maria Lutra

Maria Welton

Helen O'Connell and Wendy Cavenaugh

Rene Bond

Ronnie Sholes

Roxanne Brewer



Uschi Digard


Today from the Ghost....Here is Carrie Gonzales showing off her big ol' robo-boobs and gettin' it on in scenes from the late night cable series, "Hollywood Sexcapades".

Carrie Gonzales

Today the Time Machine goes back, back, back to 1970 for "Booby Trap". Action, adventure & skin! This one was also known as "Young and Wild". There could be some debate on the date of release IMDB has it as 1970 while Something Weird box cover says 1973. One more thing you should know some of the nudity in these caps is actually from the trailer for the movie because for some reason, much of the nudity is not in the movie itself. Obviously there was more than one version of the flick released. First up is Angela Carnon who was a staple of the genre back then and really not a bad actress at all. Nudity, a couple of "Damsel in Distress" scenes as her boss can't keep his hand off her. An upskirt in the final cap.

Angela Carnon

Sharon Masters bares it all in love making scenes in the great outdoors. You can play the "Spot the Tool" game in her set.

Sharon Masters

We wrap it up with the wonderfully busty Gina Paluzzi as a stripteaser. With the help of the trailer, she gives it all up.

Gina Paluzzi

As I have said before the seventies were great.

We have a mix of three actresses for today.

First Janet Margolin comes clean in the bath tub in "Last Embrace" (1979) in three clips (1, 2, 3).

Secondly Dorothee Reize does the same thing in a cold shower in an episode of the German TV-series Dr. Stefan Frank from 1996.

Thirdly Dutch Ellen ten Damme has some fun with her hubby in 2000's "Conamara".

Coming to DVD December 6! Here is Jenny McCarthy topless in scenes from "Dirty Love". 'Caps by LC.

One more from is Canadian babe Chelah Horsdal baring all 3 B's in scenes from an episode of a cable series I have never heard of before called "Masters of Horror".

Vejiita 'caps of Stéphanie Pasterkamp looking quite nice while topless in a couple of scenes from the French movie "Demain nous appartient" (2003).

From the Skin-man...Rosanna Arquette showing off her fantabulous chest in scenes from 1993's "The Wrong Man".

Pat's comments in yellow...

Gimme A T, Gimme An A... - Even though those two fired Carolina Panthers cheerleaders deny they were having sex in the bathroom of Banana Joe's bar in Tampa, Florida, the bar is cashing in on the publicity bonanza. This weekend, anyone, male or female, who shows up in a cheerleader uniform pays no cover charge; and any real professional cheerleaders who show up drink free.

* Female only.
* Truthfully, cheerleaders ALWAYS drink free.
* They are encouraged to drink until they lose ALL inhibitions...
* Cheerleaders who share a bathroom stall get free doubles.

"Hey, Neighbor, Could I Borrow A Cup Of Cocaine?" - The Wall Street Journal reports that celebrities, who expect perks ranging from free designer clothes to comped meals, are now getting real estate discounts. For instance, Miami developers gave secret discounts on luxury condos to model Naomi Campbell and Mickey Rourke. Agents say celebrities give the building cachet and spark publicity, and while they may not sell apartments, they do get people in to look.

* People look, realize they'd be living between Mickey Rourke and Naomi Campbell, and run like gazelles.
* They don't know that Mickey Rourke's neighbors have a terrible roach problem.
* They should reserve subsidized housing for people who really need it, like MC Hammer.
* Don't think of it as discounts for celebrities; think of it as subsidized housing for the mentally slow.