"Last Rites"

Last Rites (1988) is a Mafia thriller staring Tom Berenger as a priest, son of a Mafia don, brother to both a mobster and a cop. As the film opens, the mobster is gunned down by his wife while having sex with Daphne Zuniga. The wife misses Zuniga, who ends up in Berenger's confessional. When he realizes that the ones who killed his brother are also after her, he hides her in the church, and ends up in Mexico with her, and in her bed, but not before his cop brother is also killed.

There are many more twists to the story, but I doubt that they would be any more interesting to read about than they were to watch. The whole thing plays out like several episodes of a Godfather soap. Zuniga shows breasts, buns, and public mound. The clear shot of buns in the last image could easily be a double, and she was wearing a strapless bra in the hot sex scene, the top of which is visible in the full screen version. For some unknown reason, they took care to hide her breasts through most of her nude scenes.

IMDb readers have this at 4.9 of 10. Ebert called it the worst film of the year, and awarded 0 stars. Scoopy, who loves these films, was generous with a C-. I suppose i will go along with that, but it was torture for me to watch.

  • Thumbnails

  • Daphne Zuniga (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    • You will find 56 updated volumes in the F and G sections of the Encyclopedia, 274 new pics. The updated volumes are indicated in yellow.



    Career Girls (1997):


    There was a time when a very vital strain of British filmmaking provided the rest of the world with a look into the real world of the English class struggles. It seems that this school of social realism has all but disappeared from the international scene, and that films like A Taste of Honey, Billy Liar, and The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner are reminders of a time long ago when "relevance" seemed important. I don't know if the Brits have stopped making these films. Perhaps they are still a vital part of the scene in the U.K, but I guess the rest of the world has stopped caring about them.

    In fact, it doesn't even seem that Britain exports any more of those sweeping historical costume epics about the glory days of the Empire. From this vantage point, it seems that every British export now falls into one of the following two categories:

    1. Light, warm hearted dramedies about eccentric outsiders who demonstrate that unconventional and unexpected behavior is often just a reflection of the wonderful diversity of the human spirit. Factory guys strip to disco music. Boys do ballet. Indian girls play football. Old ladies do naked calendars. Fat chicks pick up Hugh Grant. Gentle rurals grow marijuana.

    2. Black comedies about urban gangsters, ala Sexy Beast, Snatch, or Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

    The social realism films may not show up here in Texas, but I have a feeling that there are still good British directors making these kinds of films for small and highly targeted audiences. Mike Leigh is one of them. Oh, I know you never heard of him, but he's a master at what he does. Told for American ears, his is an amazing story. While filmmaking can be a young man's game, and some directors dry up totally after they turn 50 or so, Mike has actually been doing his best work in his 50s and 60s. He started in theatrical films more than three decades ago,  disappeared into TV for nearly two decades, and finally re-emerged in films at age 45. This kind of career path is not as odd in England as it sounds to American ears. British TV can be daring, provocative, and original, and can sometimes take a lot of non-commercial risks. Good directors in the UK do not consider TV work to be banishment from the big leagues, nor do they view a TV-oriented résumé to be the equivalent of The Scarlet Letter. Mike's two decades in British TV can't be compared to two decades on Laverne and Shirley.

    At any rate, Mike seems to keep getting better at what he does. In fact, although he has been around since dirt was young, his highest rated film at IMDb is one currently in theaters as I write this.

    1. (8.04) - Vera Drake (2004)
    2. (7.80) - Secrets & Lies (1996)
    3. (7.50) - Naked (1993)
    4. (7.40) - Topsy-Turvy (1999)
    5. (7.29) - Life Is Sweet (1990)
    6. (7.14) - Bleak Moments (1971)
    7. (7.11) - High Hopes (1988)
    8. (7.01) - Career Girls (1997)

    Today's film, Career Girls, is a slice-of-life film about two college roommates who get back together again six years after school, after not having been in contact, and having drifted far apart after graduation. It mixes the present time with flashbacks to their school days. Since it is from the social realism school, it reveals no dramatic plot twists nor shocking secrets nor pulse-pounding action. It is essentially a two character play in which old friends talk about the present and reflect upon the past.

    As you can see from the list above, it is not considered to be one of Mike's better films, but that's no condemnation. The lowest score on his résumé, 7.01,  is better than the best score for most directors. I'd say that Roger Ebert and James Berardinelli have it pegged correctly at three stars. It's not a four star film because it has too many weaknesses. It can be rambling, and the two actresses lack subtlety when they try to create the characters' younger selves in the flashbacks, but it is still an interesting and thoughtful look at the genuine friendship former by two radically mismatched people, and the ways our lives can seem to change over the years, even if that change is more apparent than genuine. It observes real characters carefully and tells the truth about them and the situations they encounter. It is not the kind of film I would choose to watch, but I could admire what Mike was trying to do, and could see that he succeeded in large part. Special credit should be given to the lighting and photography in this film, which are among the best I have ever seen. The transfer is absolutely spectacular in the Region 2 DVD (It is not available in Region 1. As I said, these films are no longer for the international market!)

    One of the two stars of the film, and the sole provider of the film's nudity, is Katrin Cartlidge. You might call her the anti-Hurley, because she did just about everything possible in her short life to assure that her talent would never be seen. She chose her projects discriminately, shunned commercial ventures, and appeared in "small" award-winning films like Breaking the Waves and No Man's Land, as well as Mike Leigh's films. Although no beauty, she might have been. She was not an unattractive woman. She was tall and lanky with nice bone structure, and she might have been sculpted into what we call beautiful if she had done a little nip/tuck work, but that sort of superficial posturing wasn't for her. She kept her bad teeth and her noticeably large nose. She deliberately chose to play some unsympathetic and obnoxious characters. She spoke in her natural unrefined accent, and she didn't gad about London in the social whirl. She was genuine. She was always praised as an indefatigable worker.

    And then she died.

    Katrin came down with flu symptoms in September of 2002, and ignored them because ... well ... because it just seemed like a flu. It was pneumonia. By the time she got to a hospital, the complications of blood poisoning had gotten beyond the point where the doctors could save her. And just like that, a few days after she seemed young and fit, she was gone.

    At age 41.

    Further reading:

    The nudity in Career Girls:

    • Katrin Cartlidge topless collages (1, 2, 3)

    • Just a couple of face shots which demonstrate (1) the film's meticulous craftsmanship (2) Katrin's interesting, almost beautiful face (1, 2)




    Other Crap:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.


    Frida (2003) - day 3

    We both liked this Frida Kahlo biopic.

    The last two days:  Salma Hayek. Today, the others.


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.


    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS

    Moondance (1995)

    Hi Scoopy !
    I don't know how so much coincidence is possible but it really is a coincidence (first Goethe and now Brendler). For today I have lined up 2 clips of Julia Brendler from the film "Moondance", reviewed and capped by Tuna yesterday. Anyway, these clips might make a nice addition to Tuna's excellent caps. Or should I avoid the tautology and simply say Tuna's caps, since they are always excellent ?


    True Woman (1999) - Part 2

    And as promised I'll conclude with a second clip of Asian beauty Shu Qi from "True Woman".

    Shu Qi aka Hsu Chi is a gorgeous actress from Taiwan who is mainly active in Hong Kong films, although some may recognize her from "The Transporter", in which she was the parcel.. Although she can really act and has won several film awards, she started her career by posing nude on various occasions. Search the encyclopedia and the back issues and you'll find many explicit poses by her. This clip comes from the 1999 DVD "True Woman", featuring Shu Qi in various states of undress for 52 minutes, accompanied by the sounds of mainly French songs. It's available for just 30 HKD (less than 4 USD) from


    That's it for now.

    Yours faithfully,
    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Today from the vids (zipped .wmvs) from the 1984 serial killer/slasher/thriller, "Blind Date". Tuna and Scoop both noted in their reviews that the DVD extras are actually much better than the movie itself, especially the extened Kirstie Alley sex scene.

    • Kirstie Alley, toplessness in the sex scene left in the original movie.
    • Kirstie Alley in the extened sex scene. Slower paced but more exposure. If you have to pick just one...go with #3. (1, 2, 3)

    • The late Lana Clarkson. Here she is baring her breasts in a dark and brief scene.

    • "Star Trek" babe Marina Sirtis playing a hooker/victim. Excellent toplessness! (1, 2)

    • Antigone Amanitis also playing one of the serial killer's victims. Link #1 features brief shower scene nudity. In link #2 she's on her back and topless in good light. (1, 2)

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "A Home at the End of the World"

    A man who is basically straight except for affairs with his lifelong gay friend, the gay friend, and a divorcee who desperately wants to get pregnant are the central characters in this 2004 drama by Pulitzer Prize winning author Michael Cunningham.

    The film follows the two men growing up. Bobby loses first his brother, then his mother, and finally his father. He is taken in by the family of Jonathan, who is gay. The friendship grows and sexual experimentation follows. When Jonathan moves to New York in the early 80's, Bobby stays with his adopted family.

    Bobby finally joins his best friend in New York, where Jonathan's roommate, Clare, who already loves Jonathan as a friend, is strongly attracted to Bobby and driven by a strong desire to have a child.

    Unfortunately, this sounds a lot better than it was. There are great character studies in this movie, and terrific acting, but somehow at the end, you go away feeling unfulfilled. It keeps you interested most of the way but falls flat at the end.

    Another fantastic batch of HDTV 'caps featuring some of the highlights of recently seen prime time skin.

    Eva Longoria
    Marcia Cross
    (1, 2, 3)

    More of the "Desperate Housewives" babes in undies. Personally, there is no such thing as too much Eva!

    Salma Hayek
    (1, 2)

    The always sexy Salma looking gorgeous and showing off a boat load of cleavage on Wednesday night's Conan.

    Jennifer Tilly
    (1, 2)

    Tilly and her cleavage promoting "Seed of Chucky" on Leno. In case you've missed any of Tilly's 3000 guest spots on TV during the past week or so, here's what she's been saying...."Seed of Chucky, in theaters November 12. Check your local listings".

    Jill Hennessy
    (1, 2)

    The former "Law and Order" babe doing a series cross-over two parter on NBC. On Sunday and Monday, her show "Crossing Jordan" tag-teamed with the folks on "Las Vegas". The result: she wore some tight tops, showed a little cleavage and made out Josh Duhamel. Meanwhile, "Crossing Jordan" co-star Jerry O'Connell proved once again that his best work was playing the fat kid in "Stand By Me".

    Marilu Henner Wearing black lingerie and stockings during a guest spot on the new John Goodman series, "Center of the Universe".

    Phoebe Cates
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    One of the most famous topless scenes in nude cinema history. Hard to image "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" came out 22 years ago!

    Izabella Scorupco
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Thanks to Kat in Spain for these 'caps of the former Bond Babe ("GoldenEye") showing side breast views and mega-cleavage in scenes from "Exorcist: The Beginning" (2004) This is the Renny Harlin directed prequel to the Exoricist series that came out in late August. Currently it's opening in theaters across Europe and should be coming to DVD in the US sometime early in 2005.

    Jennifer Burton
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the Skinemax babe baring all 3 B's while gettin' it on in scenes from "Sex, Lies & Politics" (1997).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Channeling Sean Penn - Cameron Diaz was reportedly so angry at paparazzi outside a Hollywood hotel that she used her martial arts training to slam a tabloid photographer to the ground and wrestle his camera away. Boyfriend Justin Timberlake blocked the view of another paparazzo trying to photograph her rampage.

  • Good to hear the man stepped up and took action.
  • So "Charlie's Angels" was good for something after all!

    Doesn't Pass The Smell Test - In a Playboy interview, Dustin Hoffman offered a theory for how to preserve world peace: humans should follow the example of dogs and sniff each other's butts. He said, "If a lot of dogs are on the beach, the first thing they do is smell each other's asses. The information that's gotten somehow makes pacifists out of all of them. I've thought, 'If only we smelled each other's ass, there wouldn't be any war.'"

  • Except it doesn't work for pit bulls, or terrorists.
  • I wouldn't be suggesting smelling asses if I ran in the same social circles as Michael Moore.
  • I think I'd rather sniff asses than listen to Dustin Hoffman.

    Next Up: Handguns - Wednesday, NASCAR lifted its ban on liquor ads on race cars. NASCAR had been trying to shake its image as a sport started by good ol' boys hauling moonshine, and they had banned liquor ads, although beer ads were still allowed. The liquor companies' advertising must promote a "responsible drinking" message to appear on NASCAR racers. NASCAR president Mike Helton said, "Attitudes have changed," and "spirits companies are recognized as leaders in responsibility."

  • And what does that tell you about the REST of the advertising business?
  • Well, compared to beer companies, anyway...
  • What could be more responsible that combining drinking Jack Daniels with driving 200 mph?