Last Rites (1988) is a Mafia thriller staring Tom Berenger as a priest, son of a Mafia don, brother to both a mobster and a cop. As the film opens, the mobster is gunned down by his wife while having sex with Daphne Zuniga. The wife misses Zuniga, who ends up in Berenger's confessional. When he realizes that the ones who killed his brother are also after her, he hides her in the church, and ends up in Mexico with her, and in her bed, but not before his cop brother is also killed.
There are many more twists to the story, but I doubt that they would be any more interesting to read about than they were to watch. The whole thing plays out like several episodes of a Godfather soap. Zuniga shows breasts, buns, and public mound. The clear shot of buns in the last image could easily be a double, and she was wearing a strapless bra in the hot sex scene, the top of which is visible in the full screen version. For some unknown reason, they took care to hide her breasts through most of her nude scenes.
IMDb readers have this at 4.9 of 10. Ebert called it the worst film of the year, and awarded 0 stars. Scoopy, who loves these films, was generous with a C-. I suppose i will go along with that, but it was torture for me to watch.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Career Girls (1997):
There was a time when a very vital strain of British filmmaking
provided the rest of the world with a look into the real world of
the English class struggles. It seems that this school of social
realism has all but disappeared from the international scene, and
that films like A Taste of Honey, Billy Liar, and The Loneliness of
the Long Distance Runner are reminders of a time long ago when
"relevance" seemed important. I don't know if the Brits have stopped
making these films. Perhaps they are still a vital part of the scene
in the U.K, but I guess the rest of the world has stopped caring
In fact, it doesn't even seem that Britain exports any more of those
sweeping historical costume epics about the glory days of the
Empire. From this vantage point, it seems that every British export
now falls into one of the following two categories:
1. Light, warm hearted dramedies about eccentric outsiders who
demonstrate that unconventional and unexpected behavior is often
just a reflection of the wonderful diversity of the human spirit.
Factory guys strip to disco music. Boys do ballet. Indian girls play
football. Old ladies do naked calendars. Fat chicks pick up Hugh
Grant. Gentle rurals grow marijuana.
2. Black comedies about urban gangsters, ala Sexy Beast, Snatch, or
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.
The social realism films may not show up here in Texas, but I have a
feeling that there are still good British directors making these
kinds of films for small and highly targeted audiences. Mike Leigh
is one of them. Oh, I know you never heard of him, but he's a master
at what he does. Told for American ears, his is an amazing story.
While filmmaking can be a young man's game, and some directors dry
up totally after they turn 50 or so, Mike has actually been doing
his best work in his 50s and 60s. He started in theatrical films
more than three decades ago, disappeared into TV for nearly
two decades, and finally re-emerged in films at age 45. This kind of
career path is not as odd in England as it sounds to American ears.
British TV can be daring, provocative, and original, and can
sometimes take a lot of non-commercial risks. Good directors in the
UK do not consider TV work to be banishment from the big leagues,
nor do they view a TV-oriented résumé
to be the equivalent of The Scarlet Letter. Mike's two
decades in British TV can't be compared to two decades on Laverne
At any rate, Mike seems to keep getting better at what he does. In
fact, although he has been around since dirt was young, his highest
rated film at IMDb is one currently in theaters as I write this.
- (8.04) - Vera
- (7.80) -
Secrets & Lies (1996)
- (7.50) - Naked
- (7.40) -
- (7.29) - Life
Is Sweet (1990)
- (7.14) - Bleak
- (7.11) - High
- (7.01) -
Career Girls (1997)
Today's film, Career Girls, is a slice-of-life film about two
college roommates who get back together again six years after
school, after not having been in contact, and having drifted far
apart after graduation. It mixes the present time with flashbacks to
their school days. Since it is from the social realism school, it
reveals no dramatic plot twists nor shocking secrets nor
pulse-pounding action. It is essentially a two character play in
which old friends talk about the present and reflect upon the past.
As you can see from the list above, it is not considered to be one
of Mike's better films, but that's no condemnation. The lowest score
on his résumé, 7.01, is better than the best score for most
directors. I'd say that Roger Ebert and James Berardinelli have it
pegged correctly at three stars. It's not a four star film because
it has too many weaknesses. It can be rambling, and the two
actresses lack subtlety when they try to create the characters'
younger selves in the flashbacks, but it is still an interesting and
thoughtful look at the genuine friendship former by two radically
mismatched people, and the ways our lives can seem to change over
the years, even if that change is more apparent than genuine. It
observes real characters carefully and tells the truth about them
and the situations they encounter. It is not the kind of film I
would choose to watch, but I could admire what Mike was trying to
do, and could see that he succeeded in large part. Special credit
should be given to the lighting and photography in this film, which
are among the best I have ever seen. The transfer is absolutely
spectacular in the Region 2 DVD (It is not available in Region 1. As
I said, these films are no longer for the international market!)
One of the two stars of the film, and the sole provider of the
film's nudity, is Katrin Cartlidge. You might call her the
anti-Hurley, because she did just about everything possible in her
short life to assure that her talent would never be seen. She chose
her projects discriminately, shunned commercial ventures, and
appeared in "small" award-winning films like Breaking the Waves and
No Man's Land, as well as Mike Leigh's films. Although no beauty,
she might have been. She was not an unattractive woman. She was tall
and lanky with nice bone structure, and she might have been sculpted
into what we call beautiful if she had done a little nip/tuck work,
but that sort of superficial posturing wasn't for her. She kept her
bad teeth and her noticeably large nose. She deliberately chose to
play some unsympathetic and obnoxious characters. She spoke in her
natural unrefined accent, and she didn't gad about London in the
social whirl. She was genuine. She was always praised as an
And then she died.
Katrin came down with flu symptoms in September of 2002, and ignored
them because ... well ... because it just seemed like a flu. It was
pneumonia. By the time she got to a hospital, the complications of
blood poisoning had gotten beyond the point where the doctors could
save her. And just like that, a few days after she seemed young and
fit, she was gone.
At age 41.
The nudity in Career Girls:
Katrin Cartlidge topless collages (1,
Just a couple of face shots which demonstrate (1) the film's
meticulous craftsmanship (2) Katrin's interesting, almost beautiful
- From my mailbox: "Scoop, check this out ..."
CBS Apologizes for Interrupting CSI; Will Rebroadcast Episode.
"From now on, only Tony Danza's show will be interrupted for news
- Cameron Diaz is back in the news again for being camera-shy.
There was a time. back when she was much younger, when she got a
little more comfortable for the cameras. In case you missed
the famous Cameron Diaz "light bondage" tape, here is
the short version with just the ... um ... good parts.
Since Teri Hatcher is now back on top again, it's a good time to
look back on her topless scenes in The Cool Surface!
The latest Norwegian pig-fucking update.
Colin Farrell was once arrested for murder in Australia.
(Or so he says.)
- Wow. If you thought DiCaprio looked like Lenin before,
wait until you see him now.
Nader wants a recount. If just 60 million votes were
tabulated incorrectly, he can start picking out oval furniture.
Broadcasters afraid to air R-rated Saving Private Ryan on
Veteran's Day for fear of FCC reprisals. Interestingly,
Shaving Ryan's Privates can be shown.
Designer tin foil hats - for the stylish and discriminating
The complete works of H. P. Lovecraft online
Doctor Discovers the 'Orgasmatron'
Ed Helms investigates whether Floridians take the tiny bus to
The Daily Show takes note of John Ashcroft's resignation.
Jon Stewart interviews Tom Wolfe about his newest novel, which
weighs in at a mere 2lbs 14oz.
Erotic photography by Roman Kasperski
Lingerie Bowl 2005 - Home of the Lingerie Football League (LFL)
"Welcome to Beirut's '1975,' a nostalgia bar that seeks to
recapture the atmosphere of the Lebanese civil war."
- Whatever happened to ...
Tonya Harding's gang?
- Best headline of the day goes to fark.com:
"Madonna's new children's book reveals that money doesn't make you
happy. Instead points out that you need a wildly over-inflated
sense of self-importance, sex with Jose Canseco, and cone boobies
for true happiness"
There's some temporary spotting and a ring around Uranus.
Norwegian crusader fights a losing battle to make pig-fucking
- The head of the Norwegian Coast Party said there was no
specific data on Norwegian bestiality, but added, "The Swedish
Veterinary Institute reports that between 250-300 animals a year
are treated for sexual abuse. I do not think that the extent in
Norway is so very different from Sweden."
- My God, separate a Viking from his favorite sow? Next those
meddling politicians will be trying to stop
Japanese octopus sex. Those meddlers are reaching
their tentacles everywhere. So to speak.
- A world mourns as
"Hugh Grant signals an end to his acting career."
- OK, that does it. I'm never going to another movie.
- Hugh Grant "quit" acting? When did he start?
- " ... a miserable experience. It's so long and boring ... ",
said Hugh. I used pretty much the same words when reviewing his
Lord Byron movie "Rowing with the Wind".
- From the "I didn't make this up" department. In his first
movie, Privileged, the floppy-haired star was credited as
- One more from the "I didn't make this up" department. In
1999, Hughie played Blitzen the Reindeer in a movie called
"Hooves of Fire".
The Smoking Gun has a copy of Bill Maher's Palimony Suit.
Comedian Bill Maher Sued in LA by Ex-Girlfriend. This
has now happened to every celebrity in America except Andy Rooney.
Michael Moore hopes to have 'Fahrenheit 9/11 1/2' ready in two to
three years. Just in time for the New Hampshire primary
in 2008. This time he should be able to drive Dubya from office.
Johan Santana of the Minnesota Twins was a unanimous choice for
the American League Cy Young Award. Santana was 13-0
after the all-star break, and was pitcher of the month in each of
those three months. Curt Schilling finished second, his usual
An Al Pacino monologue from William Shakespeare's The Merchant of
Venice. Sorry, still no clips from Quentin Tarantino's
The trailer for Imaginary Heroes. "Starring Sigourney
Weaver, Jeff Daniels, Emile Hirsch, and Michelle Williams,
'Imaginary Heroes' is a funny and poignant coming of age story in
which the facade of an ordinary American family is peeled back to
reveal that nothing is as it seems. Tim Travis (Hirsch) is walking
through his life like it's a bad dream. His mother Sandy (Weaver)
is the master of the Travis house - with a healthy drug habit, a
decade long grudge, and a secret that is literally tearing her
apart. His father Ben (Daniels) is a shell of the man he once was,
crippled by circumstance and blind to the mistakes of his past.
But in typical American style, the Travises aren't depressed -
they're living their lives in a forlorn haze. As painful
revelations are made that threaten to divide the family, moments
of laughter and truth provide the salve that ultimately bring them
A new behind-the-scenes clip from the Legend of Zorro
Watch the first ten minutes of National Treasure
Star Wars actress Natalie Portman has been secretly attending
graduate school classes at Jerusalem's Hebrew University.
I'm not sure why there's a need for secrecy.
The Daily Show's Back in Black. Lewis Black takes a
look at the new senators - politicians who are solving America's
#1 problem: homosexuality.
I think we have found the perfect Christmas gift for your thirsty
friends - Cockolada. "The first drink out of a cocktube"
Whatever happened to the so-called "canals of Mars"?
Those with an advance look at Alexander say it is unbelievably
bad, but "The Rosario Dawson nude scene will make you worship her".
The same gossip site also asks? ". . . What do Paris Hilton and
Rudy Giuliani have in common?" I think you all know the answer to
that if you've seen Rudy's sex tape.
Here is an incredible picture of that triple eclipse on Jupiter.
Behind-the-scenes in making 'Elektra'
- Weekly World News says:
"OSAMA'S PENILE IMPLANT STUCK IN 'ON' POSITION!" No
wonder he's in hiding, say intelligence sources!
Playmate Gallery - Brande Roderick, the 2001 queenpin - Courtesy
Four free short videos from Playboy's Beach Babes!
The last hurdle is cleared. Given no other choice, Satan finally,
reluctantly agrees to accept Arafat.
JoBlo.com reviews the script for The Legend of Zorro
Chauffeur sues Liza. Liza sues chauffeur. He is suing
her for, among other things, forcing him to make love to her. If
she really did that, it's a good thing for Liza I'm not the judge.
I'd be awarding him an amount equal to the Gross National Product
of Italy. And even that hardly seems adequate. What I'd like to
know is this - how did this guy keep it up? He must have been
mainlining Viagra or something.
Here are the details of the Minnelli Sex/Violence Lawsuit from The
Here's the trailer for "William Shakespeare's The Merchant of
Venice", directed by Michael Radford (Il Postino, 1984,
B Monkey) , stars Al Pacino, Jeremy Irons, Lynn Collins, and
- Good looking trailer!
- I guess the title is so you don't to get it confused with
the sexy Jackie Collins version of The Merchant of Venice, or
the action-packed Tom Clancy version.
- It is supposed to have some nudity in it. We can only hope
that it will be provided by Lynn Collins and not Al Pacino.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
Frida (2003) - day 3
We both liked this Frida Kahlo
The last two days: Salma Hayek. Today, the
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
Words, pictures, and vids from
Hi Scoopy !
I don't know how so much coincidence is possible but it really is
a coincidence (first Goethe and now Brendler). For today I have
lined up 2 clips of Julia Brendler from the film "Moondance",
reviewed and capped by Tuna yesterday. Anyway, these clips might
make a nice addition to Tuna's excellent caps. Or should I avoid
the tautology and simply say Tuna's caps, since they are always
True Woman (1999) - Part 2
And as promised I'll conclude with a second clip of Asian
beauty Shu Qi from "True Woman".
Shu Qi aka Hsu Chi is a gorgeous actress from Taiwan who is
mainly active in Hong Kong films, although some may recognize
her from "The Transporter", in which she was the parcel..
Although she can really act and has won several film awards,
she started her career by posing nude on various occasions.
Search the encyclopedia and the back issues and you'll find
many explicit poses by her. This clip comes from the 1999 DVD "True Woman",
featuring Shu Qi in various states of undress for 52 minutes,
accompanied by the sounds of mainly French songs. It's
available for just 30 HKD (less than 4 USD) from
That's it for now.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today from the Ghost...new vids (zipped .wmvs) from the 1984 serial killer/slasher/thriller, "Blind Date". Tuna and Scoop both noted in their reviews that the DVD extras are actually much better than the movie itself, especially the extened Kirstie Alley sex scene.
- Kirstie Alley, toplessness in the sex scene left in the original movie.
- Kirstie Alley in the extened sex scene. Slower paced but more exposure. If you have to pick just one...go with #3.
- The late Lana Clarkson. Here she is baring her breasts in a dark and brief scene.
- "Star Trek" babe Marina Sirtis playing a hooker/victim. Excellent toplessness!
- Antigone Amanitis also playing one of the serial killer's victims. Link #1 features brief shower scene nudity. In link #2 she's on her back and topless in good light.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
"A Home at the End of the World"
A man who is basically straight except for affairs with his lifelong gay friend, the gay friend, and a divorcee who desperately wants to get pregnant are the central characters in this 2004 drama by Pulitzer Prize winning author Michael Cunningham.
The film follows the two men growing up. Bobby loses first his brother, then his mother, and finally his father. He is taken in by the family of Jonathan, who is gay. The friendship grows and sexual experimentation follows. When Jonathan moves to New York in the early 80's, Bobby stays with his adopted family.
Bobby finally joins his best friend in New York, where Jonathan's roommate, Clare, who already loves Jonathan as a friend, is strongly attracted to Bobby and driven by a strong desire to have a child.
Unfortunately, this sounds a lot better than it was. There are great character studies in this movie, and terrific acting, but somehow at the end, you go away feeling unfulfilled. It keeps you interested most of the way but falls flat at the end.
Another fantastic batch of HDTV 'caps featuring some of the highlights of recently seen prime time skin.
|More of the "Desperate Housewives" babes in undies. Personally, there is no such thing as too much Eva!
|The always sexy Salma looking gorgeous and showing off a boat load of cleavage on Wednesday night's Conan.
|Tilly and her cleavage promoting "Seed of Chucky" on Leno. In case you've missed any of Tilly's 3000 guest spots on TV during the past week or so, here's what she's been saying...."Seed of Chucky, in theaters November 12. Check your local listings".
|The former "Law and Order" babe doing a series cross-over two parter on NBC. On Sunday and Monday, her show "Crossing Jordan" tag-teamed with the folks on "Las Vegas". The result: she wore some tight tops, showed a little cleavage and made out Josh Duhamel. Meanwhile, "Crossing Jordan" co-star Jerry O'Connell proved once again that his best work was playing the fat kid in "Stand By Me".
||Wearing black lingerie and stockings during a guest spot on the new John Goodman series, "Center of the Universe".
|One of the most famous topless scenes in nude cinema history. Hard to image "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" came out 22 years ago!
|Thanks to Kat in Spain for these 'caps of the former Bond Babe ("GoldenEye") showing side breast views and mega-cleavage in scenes from "Exorcist: The Beginning" (2004) This is the Renny Harlin directed prequel to the Exoricist series that came out in late August. Currently it's opening in theaters across Europe and should be coming to DVD in the US sometime early in 2005.
|Señor Skin 'caps of the Skinemax babe baring all 3 B's while gettin' it on in scenes from "Sex, Lies & Politics" (1997).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
CAMERON GOES NINJA ON PAPARAZZI
Channeling Sean Penn - Cameron Diaz was reportedly so angry at paparazzi
outside a Hollywood hotel that she used her martial arts training to slam a
tabloid photographer to the ground and wrestle his camera away. Boyfriend
Justin Timberlake blocked the view of another paparazzo trying to
photograph her rampage.
Good to hear the man stepped up and took action.
So "Charlie's Angels" was good for something after all!
MORE CELEBRITY WISDOM
Doesn't Pass The Smell Test - In a Playboy interview, Dustin Hoffman
offered a theory for how to preserve world peace: humans should follow the
example of dogs and sniff each other's butts. He said, "If a lot of dogs
are on the beach, the first thing they do is smell each other's asses. The
information that's gotten somehow makes pacifists out of all of them. I've
thought, 'If only we smelled each other's ass, there wouldn't be any war.'"
Except it doesn't work for pit bulls, or terrorists.
I wouldn't be suggesting smelling asses if I ran in the same social
circles as Michael Moore.
I think I'd rather sniff asses than listen to Dustin Hoffman.
NASCAR OKAYS LIQUOR ADS
Next Up: Handguns - Wednesday, NASCAR lifted its ban on liquor ads on race
cars. NASCAR had been trying to shake its image as a sport started by good
ol' boys hauling moonshine, and they had banned liquor ads, although beer
ads were still allowed. The liquor companies' advertising must promote a
"responsible drinking" message to appear on NASCAR racers. NASCAR
president Mike Helton said, "Attitudes have changed," and "spirits
companies are recognized as leaders in responsibility."
And what does that tell you about the REST of the advertising business?
Well, compared to beer companies, anyway...
What could be more responsible that combining drinking Jack Daniels with
driving 200 mph?