Massacre at Central High (1976)
The title of this movie is deceptive. It is neither a horror
film nor a teensploitation slasher flick. It is basically an
allegorical drama which proposes some very serious underlying
sociological theories, ala Lord of the Flies. In fact, the
film could easily be summed up as "Lord of the Flies in the
suburbs." Although most of it takes place in a high school, and
all of it involves the interactions of high school society, the
high school has no visible teachers or administrators, and the
students have no visible families. The high school itself is a
neo-classical building fronted by enormous Corinthian columns,
and looks more like the kind of building that would be called
"the hall of justice." The students can and do set all their own
rules in this metaphorical society.
A "lone wolf" newcomer arrives in a California high school
and fails to assimilate. He gets along poorly with the bullies,
and actually ends up roughing a few of them up when he breaks up
their attempted gang rape. Needless to say, they do not react
well to this, and retaliate by ganging up on him and causing a
serious accident which leaves him with a partially shattered
leg, and a limp for the rest of his life. This, of course, calls
for counter-retaliation, and all the bully boys are soon to die
in nasty ways. (My personal favorite was the kid who was
electrocuted while hang gliding. A tip o' the hat to the stunt
man for a great gig in the kite on the power wires.)
Now we get to the serious philosophy. You might think that
once the lone wolf has liberated the school from the thugs,
everyone else would join together in a new spirit of sharing,
but such is not the case. The euphoria of freedom and
co-operation is soon replaced by a splintering of the student
body into various cliques, all of which compete to fill in the
power vacuum left by the deaths of the bullies, with the winners
to become the new bullies.
The lone wolf sees that all of his perfectly good murders
have been for naught, so he promptly embarks upon a new campaign
of violence, which will culminate in his blowing up the entire
school during a big dance - unless he can be stopped by
the one girl who can melt his hard heart.
This is an interesting premise, but the film doesn't quite
live up to the promise of its concept. The film quality is poor,
a dark and grainy master to begin with, further polluted by a
transfer which is corrupted by motion blur, and which seems to
have been cobbled together from many different sources, all with
different signs of aging. Moreover, the acting is so poor as to
break the fourth wall from time to time.
Still, it is an interesting idea, and although we all hate
remakes, this one might it might make for an excellent candidate
to be re-shot with a decent budget and professional production
values. It also would be a good candidate for a cleaned-up and
re-mastered DVD from
There is some interesting nudity. B-movie legend Cheryl
Rainbeaux Smith shows all the goods; Lani O'Grady (the oldest
daughter on Eight is Enough) appears topless; and Kimberly Beck
shows her breasts and buns in some incredibly dark nighttime
Smith and O'Grady each died young from drug-related causes.
- Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith died in 2002, aged 47, of
hepatitis, which was basically a complication of her heroin
- Lani O'Grady (real name Lanita Rose Agrati) died a year
earlier, aged 46. According to toxicology tests, she died of a
drug overdose, she had fatal levels of Vicodin and Prozac in
her bloodstream. Those were just her latest forms of
self-medication. She had been in rehab about a half-dozen
times for both alcohol and various drugs.
Here's a film clip of the movie's only nude scene which is in
good light (zipped .wmv). Smith and O'Grady wander around in
various degrees of undress, then repair to a tent for a
three-way with Robert Carradine.
I used some of Mr. Skin's caps because his source was better
than this DVD in a couple of scenes, while the DVD seemed to be
better elsewhere, which seems to confirm my suspicion that the
DVD was spliced together from multiple sources.
Actor Jack Palance dies at 87
Spanking Facts and Research
- "Facts about female celebrities who have
admitted being spanked as punishment either
at home and/or during their education."
"Find your perfect Celeb match based on
ancient Chinese wisdom"
- I think those ancient Chinese dudes may
have Alzheimers. My two love matches are
Anna Kournikova and Frances McDormand. What
do those two have in common?
The Racial Slur Database
Happy Birthday, United States Marine Corps
"Top Ten Signs George W. Bush Is Depressed"
- Barely musters a smile when he catches
Cheney torturing detainees
- Smug, arrogant smirk replaced by smug,
- Asked Bubba if he still had that fat
chick's phone number
"Top Ten Reasons Donald Rumsfeld Is Resigning"
- Wants to try to salvage his marriage to
- Ordering the illegal torture of
detainees is more of a young man's game
- Just demonstrating his exit strategy
- No point in trying to be the most evil
guy in the room when you work with Dick
How bad a day was election day for
Dead Democrat defeats live Republicans
- The amazing thing is that he died a
month ago, but was still campaigning until
Sunday (with pre-purchased ads and
pre-printed flyers). Now THAT's a trouper.
The Colbert Report, Thursday, November 9th
The Daily Show for Thursday, November 9th
Video of Bill Maher's New Rules for 11-3: The
Democrats' Closing Argument
Scientists create the perfect comedy face?
Borat Lawsuit -- High Five!!!
- The drunken frat boys are suing everyone
they can think of.
The newest trailer for Spiderman 3 (HD
links also available at the site.)
A man in northern India will be publicly
slapped 51 times as punishment after village
elders found him guilty of raping a neighbor
who is deaf and mute
"How much is one vote worth? In the case of an
absentee ballot and an antique stamp, it could
be hundreds of thousands of dollars."
- "That's the value of a 1918 Inverted
Jenny, one of the rarest stamps in the
world, which Broward County, Fla., elections
officials said was affixed to an envelope
containing an absentee ballot. The stamp,
similar to one that sold in mint condition
for $525,000 last year, was canceled. So was
the ballot, which contained no clue to the
identity of the voter."
Here's the video of that guy lighting a
firecracker in his ass
Thirteen bad movies you love to watch
- To be more precise, these are thirteen
bad movies GUYS love to watch. I would add
three more bad movies I love more than any
on the list except Beastmaster: Road House,
Hell Comes to Frogtown (a movie entirely
about Rowdy Roddy Piper's testicles), and
Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (Don
Johnson and Mickey Rourke - indescribably
bad plotting and dialogue).
- In the interest of fairness and balance,
I also should mention the classic bad movie
that women love: Dirty Dancing.
The 20 craziest scientific researches
DEMOCRATIC THUMPIN' 2006: President's Humble,
Conciliatory Remarks Begging Terrorist-Felating
Liberals Not to Impeach His Ass (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)
Borat Won't Be Seen in Russian Theaters
The National Anthem sung by Stephen Colbert
and John Hall - the fightin' Hall - and soon
to be the biggest rock star in the House of
Representatives. (He was lead singer of
the band Orleans - "Dance With Me")
The complete Daily Show, Wednesday,
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
Vice Academy (1988)
Vice Academy is a B-level raunchy comedy, but it has less nudity than is
typical for this type of film. It is tempting to say that it's "Police Academy
but with more bimbos and a little T&A," but the actual inspiration for the
film was the introductory segment of Charlie's Angels, where the announcer
intones that the angels all graduated from a police academy. Writer/Director
Rick Sloan began to wonder what such an academy might be like - with classes
on cheap make-up, hooker impersonation, etc.
The premise is that the students at this academy need to make 10 busts to
graduate, so our three first infiltrate a kiddie porn company, then go after
the biggest prostitution ring in Hollywood. Karen Russell, Linnea Quigley and
Ken Abraham play the three misfits in the Vice Academy class, and they are
pitted against the obnoxious instructor (Jane Hamil), and the prissy daughter
of the police chief, played by Ginger Lynn Allen, who was then trying to
transition from hardcore sex films into the mainstream.
This is no Citizen Kane in general, or even a Police Academy. It's rated
3.6 at IMDb. On the other hand, some of the jokes worked well enough that the
film became a staple of late night cable, and eventually initiated an enduring
franchise for Rick Sloan. When he made this first one, he never suspected that
it would become a series, but there have been six of them so far.
I will give it a C-.
Dann reports on
Terrifying Girls' High School: Lynch Law Classroom
In case the title didn't give it away, this 1973 action/sexploitation
flick is part of The Pinky Violence Collection of Japanese films of
that era with plenty of sex, violence, nudity, torture, and campy stories.
Three new students are sent to the School of Hope, a strict girl's
school run by a tyrannical administration, and enforced by the
Disciplinary Committee, a group of students whose idea of discipline is to
kick everyone's ass.
One of the new students is there to get revenge for the killing of her
friend, who was tortured to death by the Disciplinary Committee, and
together with the other two newcomers, and a Yakuza biker chick, and a
blackmailer, they set up the head of the school by involving him in sex
with some of the students. This then leads to a riot where the students
destroy the school.
It's an insane movie, totally improbable and often not making a lot of
sense, but it's also a lot of fun to watch, and damn, they didn't have
girls like this in my school.
Notes and collages
Samantha Ferris in The Ranch
Aside from Samantha Ferris being a hot middle-aged actress, my motive for
posting this collage is that she is currently playing a character in the TV
I have seen some great TV shows get cancelled because of a lack of viewers
("Firefly" & "The Tick" come to mind): this show is about two brothers who hunt
down & kill demons/ it has a rocking oldies soundtrack and it can be genuinely
creepy so if you like this sort of thing then you might want to give it a
Virginia Madsen in "Candyman"
This film from a story originally written by Clive Barker actually makes
no sense in it's film avatar (which is fairly normal for Hollywood.) If you
like horror writing, Clive Barker is great/unique. He's that fun fellow
who wrote the book which Hollywood turned into "Hellraiser."
As for Virginia Madsen, a very pretty lady ...
Alberta Watson in
Destiny to Order
A few more of Cheryl "Rainbeaux"
Smith - Video Vixens
A few more of Cheryl "Rainbeaux"
Smith - Slumber Party '57
A few more of Cheryl "Rainbeaux"
Smith - Revenge of the Cheerleaders
A few more of Cheryl "Rainbeaux"
Smith - Fantasm Comes Again
Helena Bonham Carter
- Conversations with Other Women
Nora Zehetner -
Conversations with Other Women
Marina Eich -
Tanith Fiedler -
The Wedding Slashers
Pat's comments in yellow...
People reports that Denise Richards was shooting a movie with Pamela Anderson in
a Vancouver suburb when Richards spotted two paparazzi who've harassed her
before. She reportedly grabbed their laptops and threw them over a hotel
balcony. One struck the arm of an 80-year-old woman in a wheelchair on the
balcony below. The Mounties and an ambulance were called, but a spokesman for
the movie insisted that the woman wasn't seriously hurt, the ambulance was
routine, she's not interested in pressing charges, and it's been 'blown way out
of proportion." The movie Richards is making is a "Dumb & Dumber" knock-off
called "Blonde & Blonder."
* The movie's spokesman went on to explain that dropping
a laptop from a balcony onto an elderly woman in a wheelchair sounds much worse
than it really is.