"Death Bed - The Bed that Eats"
Death Bed - The Bed that Eats (1977, or 2003) is probably the most independent film of all time. It was pirated and released first in the UK, then in other European countries, and developed a cult following, all without the knowledge of the film maker. He discovered this a few years ago browsing the Internet, had a new digital transfer done from the original 16 mm film, enjoyed a very small theatrical release this year, and has now made the film available on DVD. George Barry conceived the project after a nightmare about a bed that eats people. It took him five years to complete, and had no luck marketing it. He had totally forgotten about making the film when he discovered that it had been released.
This is a very strange film. It is narrated by one of the bed's victims that the bed chose not to eat, but rather hid him behind a painting for company. An unknown and her boyfriend show breasts before the opening credits. Then three women visit the house where the bed is. The first, Julie Ritter shows breasts changing for bed, and then breasts again as the bed undresses her and eats her. Demene Hall shows breasts and buns in a double exposure that represents her soul leaving her body. Between these events, the narrator talks about all of the people the voracious bed has eaten.
It is barely mentioned at IMDB with no reviews, credits, cast information, or votes. This is a very strange film, probably only of interest for it bizarre history. Low C-.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Nudes on Credit (1961??)
Laughably bad B&W film which nobody has ever heard of , but which
somebody found and re-released with a misleading name. (No nudes to
be seen). Comments can be found
film, but the comments are worth a quick look. The pictures are not
worth seeing, unless you're a completist.
- Lisa Palmer (not nude, not creditable, probably not even her
real name) (1,
Miscellaneous movies which I have not seen
Some captures from
Graphic Response's collection
- Kelly Preston in Spellbinder. (1,
6) Haven't seen it, but I want to. Not because I think it might be a
good movie, but because ... well, look at the pics and you'll see
why. It's not on DVD, as far as I know, so I'm not sure where
Graphic Response got his captures, because the quality seems
better than VCR.. Maybe digital TV - they look pretty darned good.
Preston looks tres sexy.
- Leonor Watling in Son de Mar (2002), another one I really want
to see. (1,
- Kate Vernon in Bloodknot. The quality here is VCS, and not
even top of the line by tape standards, but it is Dean Wormer's
kid, and it is a movie not previously in the Encyclopedia.
Mathilda May in The Tit and the Moon. (1,
She did not continue to do
Hall of Fame nudity after her spectacular nude debut in 1985's
Lifeforce, but she still provided some friendly peeks for years. I
need to get a DVD of this movie some day. I like the nudity, and it
- A very young, ripe, Melanie Griffith in the timeless cinema
classic, Joyride (1977). Actually, I probably have seen this one,
but have mercifully forgotten it. (It stars Desi Arnaz Jr)
Some thoughts on the Paris Hilton sex tape
I did manage to find some captures and a two and a half minute
movie on the internet. (As I understand it, the entire tape is 45
minutes long). I decided to stay away from doing caps and stuff
because the Hilton family has zillions of lawyers and they don't
want it distributed. You won't have any trouble finding it. It is
all over the internet, although many servers are slow because of the
demand. Check out many links in "other crap".
The three minute clip consists of a couple engaged in graphic
sex, but it is shot in almost complete darkness with a night vision
lens of some kind. The people's eyes make them look like creatures
in a horror movie. You can clearly see body outlines, but that's
more useful for looking at the guy than the woman. You can see his
manhood, of course, but who cares? You can see her shape, the
outline of her breasts, but not her privates, except in one close-up
of penetration. She has a very nice, but very thin body. I think
You can hear them talking. He is directing her to be in different
positions. In the last few twenty seconds or so she is sipping the
salamander, and her face is looks green through the night vision
Who is it? I don't have any reason to dispute the I.D. as the
Hilton girl. It does look like her, but I simply am not familiar
enough with her to make an identification. I've only seen her in
still photos, and that is not much help in this case. She is
certainly aware she is being photographed, because she talks to the
camera when the guy is in the opposite direction.
Greatest Shocking Moments in Rock & Roll
BryceWilson.Net is a collection of the funniest
videos on the internet.
This time the Mouseketeer is in the November issue
of the British magazine Q
Naked chicks and guns
PFC Jessica Lynch - there are graphic topless pics
(details in the story).
According to this story, soldiers tried to peddle them to The
Globe, and were rejected. The latest report from NY Daily News and
Drudge is that Larry Flynt has purchased them for Hustler. Stay
DRUDGE is also mentioning the Hustler/Jessica Lynch
connection as his top story today
Star Magazine: The Lives Of Hollywood's "Spoiled
Rich Kid$", the Olsens.
Pretty boring, saving it for marriage, that kind of stuff, but it
mentions that the sisters like their vodka. Actually, they don't
seem that spoiled to me, but I guess that makes for an
Miss Afghanistan Wins a Special Award at Miss Earth:
most likely to be stoned to death when she returns home.
Famed Chicago Sun-Times columnist Irv Kupcinet, 91,
who was a legend in Chicago journalism, having written his column
for 60 years, died Monday"
Porn goes mainstream.
Over Masturbation Survey - do you masturbate too
much? I think it may not
be that accurate. I typed in that I was 18 years old and palmed
the python 500 times a week, and it said I was in the normal
healthy range. Then I keyed in age 54 , frequency once a week, and
it told me to stop slammin' the ol' salami!
Mouseketeer Lookalike - dude look like a lady
"Shania offered that she wasn't quite as careful
about body hair shaving."
She added, ''That's the beauty of winter. You wear long sleeves
and pants and you become a gorilla"
Beggin' strips are not bacon.
Andy Griffith returns to Mayberry.
The cast will include Griffith, Don Knotts, Jim Nabors and
hot-shot director Ron Howard.
X3 Hype! - May 2005 looks like the target date for
the next X-Men flick
Back to the NBA for the Knicks City Dancers
Kansas City shortstop Angel Berroa beat New York
Yankees outfielder Hideki Matsui in the closest AL Rookie of the
Year vote in 24 years. Florida pitcher Dontrelle Willis won the NL
award over Milwaukee's Scott Podsednik.
Statistical comparison of Matsui and Berroa.
In terms of offense, it was a dead heat. Matsui's OPS was .788,
Berroa's .789 (Berroa had a higher slugging average, which made up
for a poor on-base percentage related to a lack of walks), but the
writers' decision to honor Berroa is probably a correct one,
because .788 is not very good at all for a left fielder, but is
excellent for a shortstop. Matsui's only edge was his 106 RBI,
which was simply a matter of batting in the middle of the Yankee
Albert Belle files for free agency
Over the last three years, he has averaged .... um ... no RBI's.
Which would make him a top guy on the Mets.
The ten most overpaid jobs in the U.S.
(Besides Albert Belle)
The Society for the Appreciation of the Female Nude
(SAFN) wants to encourage artists who paint traditional nudes
rather than 'ugly' figures
American officials want a virtual three-day
shutdown of central London in a bid to foil disruption of the
President's visit by anti-war protestors
Screw magazine is dead, and Penthouse is dying, but
Al Qaeda has a new magazine.
I liked it OK, except for all those little subscription cards that
kept falling out. Miss November was pretty cute.
Bachelor runs for President to pick up chicks.
Remember Banjo Boy, from Deliverance? He's still
around, now about 50 years old.
And, interestingly enough, now president of the United States.
Weekly World News: Osama has cloned Hitler to help
him defeat America.
Advice from Weekly World News
Put your spam to music
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick
Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
||Baring breasts and bum in scenes from the recent UK mini series, "Byron".
||Brief breast and bum views in a shower scene from "Sparkling Cyanide" (2003).
|Both ladies are topless in scenes from "Is Harry on the Boat?".
||A beautiful blond showing off Gorgeous breasts...hard to beat that! Here she is topless in scenes from the UK film "Last Orders" (2001).
|Both show brief breast views in scenes from the 1997 movie "The Real Blonde".
|The UK actress shows off her exotic beauty (and lovely breasts) in scenes from the really lame 1994 Dolph Lundgren movie "Men of War".
|Fantastic 'caps of the supermodel turned actress topless and full frontal in scenes from her very first movie "The Initiation" (1984).
|Topless and getting seriously groped in a love scene from "Little Odessa" (1994).
|From an uncensored Sports Illustrated 2001 video.
Here are the highlights:
Klum bares a nipple! (link #1)
Klum see-thru! (link #2)
Klum cleavage! (link #3)
Lemanton wet and see-thru plus a thong view and nip slip
Shakara side breast view
|Flautista de hamelin
|From the very off beat movie "Mojave Moon" (1996)...Jolie was young, topless and gorgeous! Archer also adds some lovely cleavage to the mix.
|Brief breast views from Ornella Muti, and Bai Ling (or Ling Bai, it seems to vary from week to week) strips down to her bra in scenes from "Somewhere in the City" (1998).
||Bootleg 'caps of the Aussie actress in scenes from the new Nicole Kidman/Anthony Hopkins movie "The Human Stain" (in theaters now). Toplessness plus far off full frontal and rear nudity.
|3 more new (and huge) versions of Tilly topless in scenes from "Shadow of the Wolf" (1992). As we mentioned yesterday, this isn't available on DVD in the US.
|Vejiita puts together another 4 page comic. Today it's his tribute to Gretchen (and her amazingly beautiful toplessness) in "Forever Mine" (1999).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
ASHTRAYS CRIMINALIZED IN NEW YORK
Bloomberg's An Ashhole - Marty Arno, owner of the tiny Brooklyn Heights
Video store in Brooklyn, New York, is facing up to $6,000 in fines for
owning an ashtray. Inspectors say they found the ashtray with a butt and
ashes in it on the counter, in violation of Mayor Mike Bloomberg's
stringent no-smoking laws. Arno says it's a piece of memorabilia from the
1984 B-movie "The Rosebud Beach Hotel," and he let a customer snuff out a
butt in it because he was enforcing the no-smoking law. Arno said he never
heard of making an inanimate object illegal, noting that even during
Prohibition, booze was illegal, not the glasses.
If glass paraphernalia's legal, how come Tommy Chong's in jail?
During Prohibition, nobody needed glasses: they drank straight from the
He should've claimed it was Humphrey Bogart's cigarette butt from
Bloomberg is now so nuts, he's written no-smoking laws that make it
illegal to put a cigarette OUT.
LESBIAN SEX NOT ADULTERY
Strap Yourself In For This One - The New Hampshire Supreme Court has ruled
that if a married woman has sex with another woman, it's not adultery. The
case involved a husband who blamed his wife for their divorce because she
had a sexual relationship with another woman. But the court ruled 3-2 that
the definition of adultery requires sexual intercourse, so lesbian sex
That would depend just how butch one of the lesbians is.
How did Bill Clinton get to appoint New Hampshire Supreme Court judges?
Now Madonna can kiss Britney all she wants.
If you've been trying to get your wife to invite a girlfriend over for a
three-way, you now can say, "It's approved by the New Hampshire Supreme
When asked whether oral sex was adultery, the judges replied, "What's
WOMAN PRISONER REALLY A MAN
The David Spade Of Kentucky - Billie Jo Hawks, who spent over eight months
in a women's prison in Kentucky on a pot growing and trafficking charge,
finally confessed: she's not a woman. Hawkes is actually a man who'd been
held in the women's section of a detention center after his trial, then was
mistakenly sent to a women's jail. He only admitted it when he faced a
mandatory medical exam. A prison official said they don't know how he
slipped past the strip search that all incoming prisoners are supposed to
undergo, but "clearly, procedures were not followed."
Either that, or too much pot REALLY lowers your testosterone.
I don't know, most of the women in prison were more manly than him, and
they got in.
So his cellmate's pregnancy is NOT a miracle?
They also got suspicious because he was the only prisoner who never
JONES AND DOUGLAS WIN A PITTANCE
Cheap, No...Tacky, Yes - Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas won their
lawsuit against Hello! magazine for publishing secretly-taken photos of
their wedding, but it wasn't what they'd hoped for. They demanded $835,000
in damages, with Jones claiming the badly-lit photos of her scarfing down
cake had ruined her wedding day by making the lavish ceremony look cheap
and tacky. A London judge sympathized, but only to the tune of $24,000.
That was how much she'd spent on the cake.
He thought that asking for so much money made them look cheap and tacky.
Catherine's legal fees: $835,000.
She should do what J-Lo does: if the wedding photos don't turn out, just
marry someone else.
OKLAHOMA BEATS TEXAS A&M 77-0
Well, They WERE Aggies... - Saturday, the top-ranked Oklahoma Sooners gave
the Texas A&M Aggies one of the most embarrassing beatings in college
football history. They scored 10 touchdowns on their first 11 possessions
and routed the Aggies 77-0. It might've been over 100-0, but Oklahoma's
coach apparently took pity and put in his reserve team. When they started
racking up yards on the Aggies, he made them just start running up the
middle and practically falling down on purpose.
It wasn't on purpose: they were falling down laughing.
Hasn't Oklahoma's coach ever heard of the Guinness Book of World
Being Aggies, A&M mistakenly sent its golf team.
The Aggie coach was yelling at his players, "What do we pay you for?!"
|The Funnies by Number 6
20 SIGNS THAT YOU'VE GROWN UP:
Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
You watch the Weather Channel.
Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time!
"I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.