Kisses and Caroms
(2006. Aka American Pool)
There is a recipe that will allow you to form a mental picture of this film. Start with Kevin Smith's Clerks.
Update it to the present time, colorize it, and shoot it in digital video.
Relocate it from a video store to a billiard supply store.
That's about it. This film is an unabashed homage to Kevin Smith. Here are a few
subtle hints of that:
- There is a character who does not talk. Her name is Silent Bobette.
She wears a backwards baseball cap and a long overcoat, even though the
other characters are dressed for summer.
- There is a discussion of Rufus, the 13th apostle, a character played
by Chris Rock in Kevin Smith's Dogma.
- The designated horny guy looks very much like Ben Affleck.
- There is a fast food place named Mooby's.
If that isn't enough to convince you, you might notice the quote from Kevin on
the DVD box.
There's no inherent problem with all of that. Sometimes homages work out,
sometimes not, and even some famous directors have made homages to other
directors. The pairs that come immediately to my mind are Woody Allen /Ingmar
Bergman and Gus Van Sant /Alfred Hitchcock. But the problem with copying Kevin
Smith's movies is that the success of the originals is based on the crazed
charisma of Jason Mewes and Kevin's own unique talent for interesting, witty
reflections on life and pop culture. If you remove those elements, Clerks
consists of bad actors talking way too much in front of static camera set-ups.
To a certain extent, that describes Kisses and Caroms. The characters do
prattle on as they do in Kevin's films, and they even read their lines like the
actors in Smith's films, but the film misses Smith's wit and Mewes's hilarious
rants. And artificial dialogue without the spin of Kevin's wit is just stiff
dialogue. On the positive side of the ledger, the film does capture a certain
kind of brutal Smithian honesty and deals with the kind of gritty subject matter
that will remind you of Clerks. The characters seem to express the concerns of
20-somethings about their relationships and their place in society, and they do so in direct, uncensored
ways. Some authenticity must derive from the fact that writer
Michael Hutchinson's IMDB bio
sounds very much like the back story of the character named David, a guy who got
his college degree then bummed around for years in a string of summer jobs.
There are a few variations on the basic Kevin Smith themes:
Unlike the early Smith films, there is no discussion of films or superheroes,
and there is very little of the amusing reflections about pop culture trivia
that normally characterize a Smith film. This film is almost 100% focused on
sexual relationships and the correlation of those relationships to love.
While there is minimal nudity in Kevin's films, there is plenty here. Nicole
Rayburn shows her breasts after a threesome. Patty Souza gets down to her garter
belt in one of those "sex with the pool boy" scenes - except this time it's a
different kind of "pool." Drew Wicks and Keith Beaton offer up their buns to
provide some man-flesh for the female members of the audience.
While it's far below Smith's films in the humor department, Kisses and Caroms
held my attention about 80% of the time, the exceptions occurring when some
minor characters got too much screen time unrelated to the development of the
story. For example, the billiard store employs a really dumb guy who forgets to
flush after a bowel movement, then drops his wedding ring into the toilet. That
scene probably didn't go on that long, but it seemed like an eternity at the
time, especially given that the dumb guy could have been written out of the
script entirely without losing a blessed thing.
"Secret Diary of a Call Girl"
This is from episode 7.
There is a long four-way sex scene. The female participants are Billie
Piper and Heather Bleasdale. Billie does not remove all of her
clothing, but looks great in the Victoria's Secret look. Heather is
topless. She is a familiar TV actress in the UK, usually playing small
parts, but sometimes in important shows like EastEnders. The pinnacle of
her career as "the unimportant character in important productions" was to
play Hermione's mother in the second Harry Potter film. If you're looking
for her in that film, don't blink.
* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk:
Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
Saints and Sinners
Saints and Sinners (1994) is a crime drama staring Damian Chapa,
Scott Plank and Jennifer Rubin. Chapa has returned to his old New
York neighborhood and has teamed up with his old high school buddy
(Plank) to run the crime in their old neighborhood. What Plank doesn't
know is that Chapa was a crooked cop who was given a chance to avoid
cleaning up his old neighborhood. He meets Jennifer
Rubin in a health food restaurant and beds her, but it isn't long
before all three of them are sleeping together. Before the film
reaches its violent conclusion, we see that everyone has a hidden
Saints and Sinners was meant to be gritty, but that, for me, is
its downfall. There was entirely too much scenery chewing and very
little subtlety, and the script does not quite sell the friendship
between Plank and Chapa.
It is available on DVD from RLDVDs.com on a region 0 PAL in English with
optional subtitles in all of the Scandinavian languages.
IMDb readers have this at 5.7 with 50 votes.
It is considered by some to be the best career nudity for
Jennifer Rubin, who shows breasts and buns, and shows the fun way to
put on a condom. Scott Plank also does a full frontal.
A "Damsels in Distress" day ...
Jessica Bork shows the boobs as she has some
rough, choking sex.
Shaley Scott as a "Babe in Bondage," then
topless as the bad guy attempts to rape her.
Shaley is joined by another "Babe in
Bondage", Sarah Lieving, who keeps her clothes on.
Notes and collages
Part 1 of ?
The Comedy Wire
Comments in yellow...
University of Massachusetts researchers compiled a list of the worst jobs in
America, based on pay, benefits and chances of advancement, and some are
surprising. Counting down from #10, they are: Movie projectionist, dishwasher,
model or product demonstrator (supermodels pull up the curve, but the median pay
for most models who do catalog or auto show work is $11.22 an hour), tour guides
(repetitive outdoor work with no benefits), waiter or waitress, lifeguard,
fabric or apparel patternmaker, usher or ticket taker, snack- or coffee-counter
attendant, and the #1 worst job, restaurant host or hostess. That has almost no
chance of advancement.
* They're wrong: The least rewarding job of all is
waitress for Hillary Clinton.
Researchers from UC-San Diego and Yale found that people tend to subconsciously
gravitate toward things that share their initials. For instance, a Tom is more
likely to drive a Toyota and marry a Teresa, while a Joe might marry Jill and
buy a Jeep. The more you like your name, the stronger the attraction even for
undesirable things. For instance, baseball players whose name begins with K,
the scorecard shorthand for a strike out, are more likely to strike out. And
the highest-ranked law schools have a higher percentage of students with the
initials A or B because they make higher grades than students whose names begin
with C or D.
* This explains the academic career of Kevin Federline.
Stanford University sociology Prof. Paula England, who teaches a class on
"Sex and Love in Modern Society," discovered that women are suffering what she
calls an "orgasm gap." She surveyed over 4,000 undergrads at five US
universities and found that when couples "hook up" - defined as any sexual
activity from kissing to intercourse - 44 percent of men have orgasms, compared
to only 19 percent of females. During heterosexual sex, men's orgasms
outnumbered women's by 60 to 25 percent. England can't say why this is, although
it could involve both sexes' ignorance about the female body and women's
societal inhibitions. But she said the "orgasm gap" for women is worse than the
* This is the first scientific research paper to be
published in Cosmo.
Jennifer Lopez canceled the final date of her concert tour due to the California
wildfires; and also finally admitted she's pregnant
* Apparently, with quintuplets
* Not surprising, considering she's so big that when
her water breaks, it will put out the California wildfires.