Carretera Secundarias (1997), or Backroads is a father/son buddy comedy set around the time of the demise of Franco. Antonio Resines is an itinerant peddler and scam artist, who travels with his teenaged son, Fernando Ramallo, who is not real thrilled with his father, wonders why his father, who belongs to a wealthy family, is so poor, and knows little of his deceased mother. He is not a happy teen, covers himself with tattoo transfers, and manages to cause trouble at every school he attends.
He also has trouble putting up with his father's girlfriend, a singer played by Miriam Díaz Aroca. He warms to Maribel Verdú, especially when she exposes a breast, encourages him to touch it, and gives him his first kiss. When his father is jailed, he goes to live with his rich uncle's family, and suddenly life with his own father doesn't seem bad at all.
IMDb readers have this at 6.1 of 10. Performances by Verdú, Ramallo and Resines are all good, but the script really didn't give them enough to work with, and the transfer is less than ideal. The optional subtitles were not badly done. This is a C-.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Quick quiz. Very quick. Only one question.
(a.) A really liberal underwater talk show host.
(b.) A fish stitched together from parts of other fish.
(c.) A member of Country Joe's bank
(d.) None of the above
The answer is (d) none of the above. Although this movie features
giant creatures, and those creatures are fish, they are not stitched
together from other fish to animate or re-animate a new species.
They follow the general principles of giant movie creatures, which
Method 1. If the writer is a liberal, the giant creatures are formed
when irresponsible Republican politicians dump unlimited quantities
of poisonous substances into the air and water, thus altering the
ecosystem and precipitating the development of a giant new species
which can survive under extreme conditions and presents a threat to
man. The changes in the species do not take place over millions of
years, like normal evolutionary processes, but happen overnight.
Method 2. If the writer is a conservative, the giant creatures are
formed when godless scientists place their curiosity above mankind's
accepted moral principles. The scientists choose to ignore the rules
of nature when they play God and create new, unnatural species to
study, never stopping to think that if God had wanted the world to
be filled with 80 foot gerbils, He, in his infinite wisdom, would
have told Noah to build a larger ark. More important, we know that
the Good Lord did not want gerbils to be 80 feet tall, because He
would then have had to make Richard Gere much larger, for obvious
Method 2a. If the writer hates liberals and conservatives equally,
he puts a twist in Method 2. The godless, atheist scientists create
a giant creature, but only because they were paid vast sums to do so
by a filthy rich Republican businessman whose hobby is big game
hunting. The rich hunter has already killed every species on the
planet, even the most dangerous ones, so he needs the godless
scientists to violate the rules of nature and make a new species
which is more dangerous than any on earth, thus allowing him to pump
his adrenalin flow back up to normal.
This particular giant creature film follows Method 2a.
All giant creature films should follow certain other conventions as
1. There should be an old gypsy woman, or cajun witch, voodoo
priestess, or the equivalent. This old woman believes that the
creature is not simply a mutation which can be explained by science
(well, to be more specific, by movie science), but is rather an evil
spirit, possibly even the Lord of Darkness himself, and has been
sent by God to punish mankind, or possibly just to punish her for
something she did one time with another woman and some KY jelly and
octopus porn" and some common table salt. Even though she was
only 16 at the time, and was just experimenting with sexuality in
ways familiar to so many of us, especially those of us who are
Japanese and live near seacoasts, she knows that the Lord cannot
forgive her, and that her soul is lost to The Dark One, who has now
come to attack her in the form of the 80-foot gerbil.
Invariably, she has an exotic talisman which can protect her against
the Evil Spirit. Just as inevitably, it gets destroyed just when it
might actually serve some purpose.
2. The destruction of the giant creature should actually occur about
halfway through the film, after a prolonged battle which costs many
human lives. Then, just when everyone is relaxing, an even larger
creature should appear from nowhere, kill an additional human, and
disappear quickly, so that the stunned survivors are in shock, and
are terrified because they now realize that the one they defeated
may have been just one of many, and may even have been a baby. By
killing it, they may have forced a confrontation with an angry
3. There should be a stuck-up guy who refuses to co-operate with the
plans of the other people fighting the giant creature. There is no
good reason for this. It is just required by genre convention.
Sometimes the stuck-up guy is allowed to redeem himself by dying in
a self-sacrificing way, but this is not essential. Sometimes his
death just provides darkly comic relief.
And there you have the plot of Frankenfish, except that it is a
giant fish with rudimentary lungs, and not a giant gerbil.
I'm glad Dann reviewed this film before me, because I'm almost
ashamed to admit that I thought a no-budget, weakly-performed,
totally predictable film named Frankenfish was actually pretty good.
I felt some comfortable reinforcement when Dann kinda liked it as
well. Of course, giant creature films are inherently delimited in
quality, and their quality ceiling is quite low. Can you name one
that is really any good, except for Jaws? If you were strapped to a
polygraph, you'd have to admit that even the legendary giant
creature films like King Kong and Godzilla are pretty damned awful.
At least King Kong reached out to mainstream audiences with a lot of
heart. Frankenfish is a pure genre film which doesn't care about
mainstream audiences. It's filled with extreme gore, gratuitous
nudity from unnecessary characters, and macabre humor. It also has
some genuine tension and some pretty good scares. Honest to God, I
didn't mind it at all!!! It kinda got my heart pumpin'. It's
far from a masterpiece, and it has some unnecessary plot detours,
but it is ten times better than you'd expect from a film named
This is the entire film "Submission", the Dutch film that provoked
Theo van Gogh's murder by Muslim extremists. (And it
has some nudity!) The file size is 26.5 meg, which is not good
news for the broadband-impaired.
Comcast and Microsoft team up to take direct aim at TiVo.
AOL to Be Split Into Four Units. America Online Inc.
yesterday put new leaders in senior posts and revamped its
corporate structure, undertaking a sweeping overhaul just one
month before the company plans to slash costs by firing more than
- .... the quest to rebuild Leonardo's 'impossible machine' ...
The Real da Vinci Code Is his mysterious three-wheeled
cart a proto automobile? A remote-controlled robot? A rolling
Renaissance computer? The rantings of a lunatic mind?
Current electoral map compared to pre Civil War map of free and
slave states. What is truly weird is that the
correlation which seems to be close to 100% is actually pretty
close to 0% if you consider it by political party. How the parties
have changed! The States that were Republican then are Democratic
now except Ohio, Indiana, and Iowa. The states opposed to the
Republican Lincoln are all Republican now! Check out
this map to see how the electoral votes split in the
Four free short videos from Playboy Plus!
Playmate Gallery - Teri Harrison, October, 2002 - Courtesy of
- Cool resource:
World Sunlight Map - "A world map showing current sunlight and
The details of Burt Reynolds's original suit against his
Burt's Ex Strikes Back - Details
The trailer for The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie!
The wait is over. Firefox 1.0 is finally complete. I
was never pleased with the basic Mozilla browser, to tell the
truth, but these guys have done a great job on Firefox. It renders
pages as well as MSIE, is memory-efficient, does a jillion other
things Internet Explorer doesn't do, and offers all kinds of
extensions and plug-ins.
Reese Witherspoon's company is developing the Stephanie Plum
mystery novel 'One for the Money' as a possible starring vehicle
Manilow says his fans may be brainwashed. "Washed" is
not exactly right. "Scrubbed clean" may be closer.
Four clips and a featurette from Seed of Chucky.
Two clips from The Woodsman. (Kevin Bacon as a
PARIS HILTON MAKES FAITH-BASED TAPE. Election a
"Wake-up Call" for horny heiress turned nun.
Yasser Arafat's Death: Heartfelt Statement by President Bush
Eulogizing the Annoyingly Tenacious Life and Principles of
Palestiniac Rat Man Yasser Arafat. (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)
"while I never stooped to meet with him, I can at least appreciate
a leader who surrounds himself with squirrelly yes men who
rationalize running a people's economy and government straight
into the crapper."
HBO Documentary on Adult Industry Debuts Friday. The
six–part series covering the adult entertainment industry debuts
on HBO this Friday, November 12, followed by a new episode every
Friday until the documentary has run its course.
Octopussy - the strange and incredibly obscure world of Japanese
Octopus Porn. OK, I admit I couldn't make any sense out
of this, but I can never make any sense out of anything in
Japanese popular culture, except maybe that schoolgirl in uniform
thing, so maybe you'll have more luck.
Resurrection doesn't take, Arafat dead yet again.
"Foreign Minister Nabil "Baghdad Ned" Shaath, in a strenuous
denial, said the Palestinian president, 75, was "very much alive,"
but at least five senior sources said he had succumbed to the
mystery illness that led to his being flown to Paris on Oct. 29."
I asked the Magic 8 Ball whether Arafat was dead. It replied "ask
Guy gets arrested for dropping his pants at a public concert,
proves his innocence by dropping his pants in court.
Oh, well, he claimed he was doing it for the forests, so I guess
he had to demonstrate the importance of wood.
Nicky Hilton Ends Marriage With Todd Meister. So she's
no longer the Nicky Meister, or would that be the Nicky Mistress.
What the hell, they gave it their best shot. Sometimes people have
to realize they are just not right for each other. Although that
is generally easier if they actually spend time together.
Who was Casper the Friendly Ghost before he died?
- Ya gotta love this headline:
"Hearing Ordered for Bin Laden's Driver". I understand
they have also ordered sight for his putter and smell for his
The Weekend Warrior's Box Office preview and projections for 2004.
They do not expect Polar Express to unseat The Incredibles for the
#1 spot. They expect After the Sunset to bomb out at $10 million.
There are four big films opening this week, although the Bridget
Jones flick is not in wide distro until the following week.
Women go topless at Palm Beach County hotel to protest something
or another. The best part of the story is how the
police caught them - "The pair might have made a clean get-away
had they not had to valet park their car. There were no free
'Passion,' 'Fahrenheit' ineligible for Golden Globes.
(1) there are no Globes at all for documentaries, so Fahrenheit is
totally ineligible for the Globes (2) Passion is technically a
foreign-language film, and therefore not eligible for "best
picture", although it could win other awards.
- For those of you who are liberals and feel like you haven't
suffered enough -
Dubya In 2008 -- Repeal The 22nd Amendment. This
strategy actually could backfire. It would also allow President
Clinton to run again, and Clinton is to the Democrats as Barry
Bonds is to the Giants - he's the whole offense. Without him, they
Arafat's Condition Deteriorates Rapidly, as is typical
for a dead man.
Scientists Find Earliest Known Penis. Luckily, Joan
Collins was able to identify it.
The Rocket wins his 7th Cy Young award. This is his
first one in the National League, and Houston is the fourth team
for which he has won one! The 42 year old's closest competition
was 41 year old Randy Johnson. Third place went to Clemens's
teammate, Roy Oswalt.
Colin Farrell's hunka hunka burnin' love finally makes its screen
debut in Alexander. The 28-year-old Irishman appears
full-frontal in a scene where the Macedonian emperor spends his
wedding night with his wife, Roxane, played by Rosario Dawson.
Farrell's man-root was reportedly cut from his previous film, A
Home at the End of the World, amid reports that a preview audience
"gasped" at its size, although these reports were later denied and
debated vigorously. One male journalist who saw Alexander says of
Farrell's manhood, "It's nothing to be ashamed of, but people
weren't gasping at it either."
The Nashville Tennessean is proud of their team's first place
status in the current NHL season. Ya gotta love this
- Best sports headline ever?
"Trojans Come From Behind Against Beavers"
Whatever happened to ... Amy Fisher, the Long Island Lolita.
She has an autobiography coming out.
Pamela Anderson's 2005 Calendar
The Sun catches model Sophie Anderton yachting without her shirt.
The silliest questions that tourists ask tour guides in Rome.
USATODAY.com - The complete football salaries database from 2000
to the present.
The Star reports on the divas of Desperate Housewives.
Desperate Housewives drew a record 25 million viewers, according
to preliminary Nielsens. And nearly 15 million of them
were young adults, making the soapy suburban saga last week's top
show among that crucial audience.
Here is an entire Superman cartoon from 1940. (Superman
was created in 1938, so this was one of the first screen
adaptations). The file size is 90 meg, so don't even dream aboit
it unless you have a great broadband connection.
- Does someone on your Christmas list have a pet hamster?
Have we got a gift idea for you!!!
Clyven - The Mouse with Human Intelligence
Weekly World News: "Taking a page from American know-how, Al Qaeda
terrorists have taken to running late night infomercials on Iraqi
television stations." See, we keep telling those guys
that the freemarket works. Here's the proof! (Well, the Weekly
World News equivalent of truth.)
Nic Cage discusses Ghost Rider and Skeletor
The international trailer for Hitch - a Will Smith
comedy about a "date doctor" who can't cure himself.
The trailer from Son of the Mask. I love The Mask, a
really entertaining and funny movie. This sequel is my worst
A new clip from Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera.
You think the trailer was pretentious and obvious? This clip makes
that trailer seem as down home as Billy Bob Thornton drinkin' a
Lone Star with Willie Nelson.
PRESIDENT BUSH ABOLISHES THE RULE REQUIRING AGREEMENT BETWEEN
NOUNS AND VERBS. "I Has a Mandate, and I Intends to Use
it," said the President.
Foul-mouthed Colin Farrell doesn't want to be 007:
"'Pierce Brosnan fucked me on this,' he said, according to the
Daily Star, 'I'm not fucking interested - not at all.'"
Scarlett Johansson has reportedly developed a crush on comedy
actor Ralf Little. She's admitted to desperately
fancying the Royle Family star, according to the Daily Star.
Justin changes Britney chapters in his autobiography.
Shouldn't he actually do something before writing an
autobiography? Anyway, a source said: "We hope he doesn't change
too much as the first version was really amazing - although it may
Nicole Kidman is reportedly dating Steve Bing, the father of Liz
Hurley's child. I must say he's enjoying a good run.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
Frida (2003) - day 1
We both liked this Frida Kahlo biopic. I didn't like it
as much as Tuna did, but I sure ain't gonna turn away from a pretty
decent flick which also happens to have a lot of nudity, including
Salma Hayek stark naked!!.
Shiloh sent in captures of all the nudity, and there
is much more to be seen in the upcoming days, but ever since I was a
kid at Christmas time, I've never been able to wait long enough to
open my best present last. Here's Salma and more Salma. And
tomorrow: her lesbian scene!
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
Words, pictures, and vids from
King David (1985)
Hello Scoopy !
Today's clips feature all the nudity from the film "King
David" (1985) starring Richard Gere. The women who can't keep
their hands off of him are Alice Krige and Cherie Lunghi.
That's all for today.
Scoop's notes: rare material. And who knew that Richard Gere
could speak German like frikin' Goethe? Full frontal from the
Borg Queen, rarely capped, rarely seen. These are better quality
than our previous encyclopedia entries, so I made some samples.
Below are some .jpg collages to give you the feel of it. I
noticed that the film is now available on Region 1 DVD, so I
ordered a copy, even knowing it's going to be fuller of shit
than the Paris sewers. That's how much we love you guys - we're
even willing to see Richard Gere playing King David (probably
the only time the great king has been known as "Dave")
just to capture the all-important Bathsheba nudity.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today from the Ghost...a couple of vids of former model turned B-movie actress, Angie Everhart. Scenes from the direct-to-vid movie, "The Substitute: Failure Is Not an Option" aka "The Substitute 4".
- Angie Everhart zipped .wmvs. Topless in #1, brief breast views while she rides a dude in #2.
|Mr. Nude Celeb
Today Mr. Nude Celeb takes a look at three Madonna movies...
First up, the not so bad one, "Body of Evidence" (1993).
- Julianne Moore topless and baring her bum in her first nude role.
- Madonna baring all 3 B's.
- Shawn Lusader, the professional body double is on all fours and shows us a rear view and her breasts. If memory serves, she was Anne Archer's double in this movie.
Next up, from the movie that really stunk, "Swept Away" (2002).
- Jeanne Tripplehorn, the "Basic Instinct" and "Waterworld" star showing some pokies.
- Madonna. Pokies in link #1. Open leg view (with undies) in link #2. Nipple peeks in links 3-4. Fully nude but curled up into a ball in #5.
And finally, I'll put this one under 'other' since it's not exactly a movie. Here's Madonna in "Madonna: Truth or Dare" (1991), the 'documentary' following her Blond Ambition tour in 1990.
- Madonna. Pokies in #1, toplessness in the rest.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
Part of the problem with this 2004 western is it didn't know what it wanted to be, let alone what it wanted to be called. Titled Blueberry in the movies, and called Renegade in the DVD release, it's a western, drug story, and an Indian Shaman story all wrapped into one. Unfortunately, they don't blend well.
When he is young, Blueberry's prostitute-girlfriend is killed during an argument with a gunman. During the ensuing fire, Blueberry barely escapes with his life.
Years later, now a U. S. Marshal, Blueberry confronts the same gunslinger who is trying to get gold from the Indian's sacred mountain. Its during the later part of the movie that things get really weird as an Indian Shaman helps him confront the gunman with the use of peyote. Unfortunately, director Jan Kounen felt it was necessary to subject the audience to several minutes of snakes and other CGI crawlies to illustrate the effects of the peyote. Supposedly, he researched this with actual South American shamans before doing it, but it's just a giant time waster, and looks basically dumb.
The movie was supposedly loosely based on a comic book, and I liked part of it. On top of that, the scenery and photography was spectacular. Sadly, it was impossible to ignore the other part, so the effort as a whole was disappointing.
|Kate showing cleavage (#3), wearing tight pants (#2) and all wet in link #1 (looks like there may be some see-thru nipple exposure). Scenes from the mega-budget, mega-effects, and micro-plot summer flick, "Van Helsing".
|Johnny Moronic takes a look at "Saved", the comedy that pokes fun of over-zealous religous groups.
Eva Amurri seems to have inherited great breasts from her mom (Susan Sarandon). She shows cleavage in all of these (the down shirt view in #2 is especially nice). She also shows off part of a thong and some very nice legs in these scenes.
Jena Malone gets seriously groped, and also shows see-thru/pokies.
Pop singer turned actress Mandy Moore also shows some pokies.
|Señor Skin 'caps of the Hong Kong movie babe baring her bum and showing several brief nipple views in scenes from "Three Days of a Blind Girl" (1992)
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
COLLEGES ADOPTING "THE APPRENTICE"
God Help Us - The New York Post reports that colleges nationwide are adding
tips from "The Apprentice" to their MBA programs They say the show gets
students more excited than lectures, and they can learn real-world business lessons
by breaking into teams and competing at things like selling football tickets.
Critics say schools should be stressing ethics after all the recent corporate
scandals, not glorifying cutthroat competition and backstabbing, and
feminists say the show encourages women to use sex to get ahead. But Donald Trump
responded that "there is sex in the board room. We can say there isn't, but
Especially in his board room...Tuesdays and Fridays, around 9 p.m.
"MBA" now stands for "Make Breasts Accessible."
Gee, I wonder why professors would want to teach students that the way to
get ahead is to sleep with the guy in charge?...
This is bad enough, but just pray that hairdressing schools don't start
taking lessons from Donald Trump.
Pass Or Get Whacked - Italy's Roma Tre University is offering the first
college class on the Mafia. The 20-hour "Mafia 101" class will trace the history
of the criminal organization and attempts to eradicate it. Professor and Mafia
expert Enzo Ciconte said Mafiosi might not be happy about the course, but
they've been pleasantly surprised at the student interest: 430 of them applied to
All under assumed names.
I don't know which is worse: business students studying the Mafia or "The
It's an easy course to pass: every time you're tested on what you've
learned, you just say, "I didn't see nuthin'!"
The professor wanted to retire, but they just keep pullin' him back in!
NEW DEMOGRAPHIC GROUP: "BRIDGET JONES' MOTHERS"
Too Late! - British statisticians report that the increasing divorce rate has
given rise to a new social group referred to as "footloose fiftysomethings"
or "Bridget Jones' Mother." They are single women in their 50s who were found
to drink wine, beer or liquor as often as their daughters. One in five
regularly goes to bars in hopes of meeting someone, and many search for men through
the Internet, dating services or traveling. The researchers said these women
never pursued hedonistic pleasures while young and they're not ready to turn
old without experiencing it.
These days, not even grannies wear granny panties.
They keep finding men of their own age who are really interested in a
romantic relationship...with their daughters.
They prefer to call themselves "Bridget Jones' Older, Hotter Sister."