Sunday

Tuna
"Malice"

Malice (1993) is a thriller staring Bill Pullman as an assistant dean, and his wife Nicole Kidman, who teaches nursery school. They are the perfect couple, and want kids very badly. Enter Alec Baldwin, who was a hotshot in high school with Pullman, and is now the new hotshot surgeon at the local hospital. There is an entire unrelated plot line about a serial rapist on campus, but that is just for atmosphere. Baldwin rents a room from Pullman, and Kidman is not happy about it. She seems to have some medical problem, which causes her fits of pain. Finally, she collapses, and Baldwin diagnoses an ovarian problem, and removes both of her ovaries. She sues for malpractice, and wins when she proves that he had been drinking, and that he removed a healthy ovary.

Pullman become suspicious when she leaves him after the law suite, and starts investigating. Seems nothing was as it seemed. Debrah Farentino shows breasts and buns in a gratuitous sex scene with Baldwin. Kidman has a dark sex scene with Pullman, and we see a breast patch if we look real hard, then her character shows some good shots a of a lovely bottom, but I doubt that it belongs to Kidman. IMDB readers say 6.3 of 10. Ebert awards 2 stars, and Berardinelli 2 1/2. Both say the plot had too many elements for it to be successful. Rotten Tomatoes has it at 56%. It won two awards at a festival I have never heard of. I stopped caring about this film not very far into it. I liked the Pullman character, a campus detective, and Kidman's character, before we saw what Kidman was really up to. After it really got going, it was a chore to watch. C-.

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  • Debrah Farentino (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Nicole Kidman (1, 2, 3)

    "Porky's"

    Porky's (1981) is one of my favorite teen comedies. Not that it doesn't have problems. Many of the characters were way over the top, most notably Beula Ballbricker, and Kim Cattrall's character, Miss Honeywell. The vendetta against red neck bar owner Porky got kind of old, and few of the performers were believable as High School kids. Why then do I like it so much? IT contains two of the funniest scenes I have ever seen. The first involves a young coach finally nailing Miss Honeywell in the equipment room, and finding out why her nickname is Lassie. The second is the aftermath of the obligatory girls locker scene, where Beula asks the principle to set up a line-up of 5 boys penises, so she can ID the guilty boy.

    In both cases, the gag is amusing enough, but what elevates them to greatness is the timing, and the way dozens of characters are reacting, and adding to the humor. It is a good film for nudity. Cattrall shows buns and bush in the equipment room sex scene, Kaki Hunter shows all three Bs in the shower scene, as do several unknown actresses, Pat Lee shows breasts as a stripper, and Susan Clark as Cherry Forever is seen in laud lingerie.

    IMDB readers have this at 5.3 of 10. It grossed $106M against a budget of $4M, but nobody admits liking it. This makes it the highest grossing Canadian film of all time, according to IMDB. I suppose the proper score is C, but it remains a personal favorite.

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  • Kaki Hunter (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Kim Cattrall (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Pat Lee (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Shower scene (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Susan Clark (1, 2)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    OTHER CRAP:

     

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Hankster
    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today we look at a whole bunch of former Heffers in the Andy Sidaris movie "Guns" (1990).

    • First it's Dona Speir as she shows us her guns. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Then on to Roberta Vasquez as she does a little lovemaking on a motorcycle. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Now we drop in on a shower scene with Donna Spangler and Kym Malin. (1, 2, 3)

    • Next, fantastic cleavage and boob from Cynthia Brimhall. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    • Finally, we look at Devin Devasquez who played the bad girl in some scenes with Erik Estrada. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Spaz
    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Shivers"
    Susan Petrie (aka Sue Helen Petrie) shows major pokies and flashes a very erect nipple in David Cronenberg's "Shivers" (1975). Also she and UK horror veteran Barbara Steele have a lesbian kissing scene and are later shown in see-through blouses while in swimming pool.


    "Bizet's Carmen"
    Bizet's Carmen (1984) is one of the better Carmen opera productions put to film with Julia Migenes as Carmen. One famous scene in this movie is Carmen rolling a cigar on her thigh. However, on the DVD version the outdoor scenes are overexposed and washed out compared to what has aired on television. No nudity but Carmen was very provocative in the way she sways her hips.


    "Thick as Thieves"
    "Thick as Thieves" (1991) is a Canadian comedy starring Carolyn Dunn and Gerry Quigley as the most mismatched brother-and-sister crime team. Carolyn looks great but Quigley looks like Cletus the slack jawed yokel.


    "Hitler's Daughter"
    "Hitler's Daughter" (1990) is a search for Hitler's evil spawn, this time a daughter in the Washington power circle. I can't tell you if Melody Anderson's journalist character is the fruit of Hitler's loins but she does look alot like Diane Sawyer or even Hilary Clinton.


    "Separate Vacations"

    • Carolyn Dunn in bathing suit in "Separate Vacations" (1986).


    "Election"
    Christa Young gettin' it on with Brian Tobin (not the Newfie politician) in the comedy "Election" (1999). Kind of topless.


    One question people sometimes ask : Did Kim Richards really use a body double in "Tuff Turf" (1985). Kim does have a credited "photo double" Fiona Morris. Fiona is also known as Susanne Mierisch whose short movie career consists of bit-part topless roles in "Neon Maniacs" (1986) and "Cave Girl" (1985). You be the judge. Susanne is topless in all three movies.

    Blackshine
    An excellent collection of nudes by photographer Marc Baptiste. As always, great scans from the master.