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Tuna
"Don Juan" (1973)

Don Juan (1973) is the last feature film staring Brigitte Bardot. She rejoined Roger Vadim to make her last film. The good news? Full frontal from Bardot and Jane Birkin, and long clearly lit breast shots from at least 3 unknowns. The film is technically competent, and the DVD transfer is not bad. The bad news? The film well and truly sucks. Seems Bardot is Don Juan reincarnate. Not only does she seduce every man she can, but she is not happy unless she also destroys them. The men include a champion archer/govt official/professor, a singer, a friends husband, and her cousin the priest.

Enjoy the images, and take a pass on the film. D+.

  • Thumbnails
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  • Brigitte Bardot (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Jane Birkin (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    "Eyes Wide Shut", the controversy

    My images from the uncensored Eyes Wide Shut reopened an old controversy about who played the woman at the orgy who saved Cruise, and also a new one concerning the aspect ration. Lets do the aspect ration first. On both versions, the first text we see claims that we are getting a full negative screen, the way Kubric intended. I can accept that he chose not to do Widescreen, but Scoop reminded me of early images (1, 2) that show Kidman in the mirror with her entire butt and most of her thigh showing. The best that we see in the DVD shows just the top of her butt. The theatrical and TV trailers do not show the scene. This opens two major questions.

  • 1) How can there be information below what we see on a "full frame?"
  • 2) Where did these early (before release) images come from, and how did they get out?

    As to the second question, I am not 100% sure if the woman at the orgy is Julienne Davis or Abigail Good. To refresh memories, Julienne is the girl who ODs at the Christmas party, and is seen on a morgue slab at the end of the film. Pollak's character tells Cruise that the girl who saved him at the orgy was the same girl. So, the character is probably the same, but Pollak's character lies.

    Julienne is seen only reclining in scenes shot 12 months before the orgy scene. She appears fleshier than the woman who saves Cruise. The woman who saves Cruise never takes off her mask.

    So what do the actresses themselves have to say? Thanks to The Independent , we have interviews with both. to summarize:

    Julienne says she was the girl who saves Cruise, Good is a Brit, yet the woman had an American accent, and Good was just trying to steal credit from her.

    Good says Julienne was unreliable and hard to work with, that she played the part, but that Julienne was in the orgy scene.

    Much of this is contradictory, or makes no sense.

  • 1) If Julienne was there, Kubric almost certainly would have used her, difficult or not
  • 2) Clearly, the woman can't be played by both actresses.

    Good shows up twice in the credits, once as "The Mysterious Woman," and once as Orgy Scene Principle. Nobody else is double listed. Further, the credits are supposed to be in order of appearance, but no matter who the "Mysterious Woman" is, she is listed out of order, which suggest to me a lost minute credit insertion.

    I can only come up with one scenario that explains the above. By the time they were ready to shoot the orgy, Julienne had other modeling commitments, and couldn't shoot the scenes with Cruise. The gave Good a chance to double her since she had a similar body type and was already on the payroll. Good leaked the info to the press, and they gave her a credit. Meanwhile, Julienne, who was equally unknown, didn't like a double going public, and denied the story. Good probably remembered that some background shots at the orgy did have Julienne in them.

    This is, of course, all a guess. The questions:

    Are the Mandy character and the Mysterious Woman character supposed to be the same?

    Does Julienne, as she claims, play the entire character, including the orgy, or are they two different women? Keep in mind that we have reclining vs. standing and masked, and 12 months between takes.

    Knowing that Fun House readers collectively possess all knowledge, I am hoping some of you have additional information that will end both controversies.

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    crazy/beautiful (2001) is best known as the " Kirsten Dunst almost got naked" movie. Actually, I guess you could reasonably say that there is nudity in the first two, although I don't know exactly where Mr Nipple is hiding.

    • Kirsten Dunst almost showing stuff (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
    • Kirsten Dunst in a deleted scene in a white t-shirt, no bra. Not great quality pictures, but the girl has a chest on her.
      (1, 2, 3)

    In preparation for a Sean Young update tomorrow, I reviewed a couple of her contemporary nudity classics. 

     No Way Out is a Cold War thriller that plays out well. I've watched it a few times, and I think it is exciting, despite the fact that I know the surprise ending, and despite the fact that the plot is completely, totally unbelievable - possibly the most implausible plot twists in the long and shameful history of implausible plot twists.

    To imagine how implausible it is- here's your scenario. You accidentally kill your wife. You decide to cover it up. To distract attention from your own potential blame, you create a bizarre fiction in which she was killed by a fictional character you made up, who you claim to be a member of the Taliban. You hire the most honest detective in the world to conduct the hunt for the mythical Taliban leader, so you can show that you're really doing all you can.

    Now here's what would have to happen to equal the plot in the movie:

    1) the guy you made up would have to turn out to exist in reality, even though he was purely a product of your imagination

    2) then, that guy would actually have had to be in your house a couple minutes before you, so that the time of death could apply to him

    3) finally, he would have to turn out to be the guy you hired, so that you effectively hired the guy to investigate himself.

    Only in the movies, boys, only in the movies.

    And despite that, I still like it. I guess I give it good marks for playing out well, and for the sheer audacity of the concept, since it is told from the POV of the detective investigating himself, but we aren't privy to all his thoughts, so we see him frantically trying to steer the investigation away from himself, and we don't realize the real reason has nothing to do with the murder investigation, but the fact that he's going to blow his cover as a spy. Contrived, but pretty cool.

    • Sean Young in No Way Out (1, 2, 3)

    Men is the rambling, unfocused kind of film that is not uncommon among indy filmmakers. Some stuff happens, and then it's over, and we're all much wiser. Except me. I am too shallow to appreciate these existentialist films. I am so superficial that I make Shallow Hal seem as profound and contemplative as Hamlet.

    But I have to offer one request to young filmmakers. If you're going to make a film too deep for me to understand, at least fill it with T&A so my simple mind has something to occupy itself until the lights come on. The director here did that, and I'm grateful.

    • Sean Young in Men (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Charlie's French Cinema Nudity Site is updated. Another mammoth update this week, including some Monica Bellucci nudity.


    A long time ago, we ran a link to our favorite "music" site, the Captain Kirk Sing-Along page. It is now known as Shatner Rocks, and includes most, if not all, of Captain Kirk's greatest hits. If you have never heard Shatner "sing" Mr Tambourine man or Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds, you are missing a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Not necessarily a positive one, but that's a matter of personal preference. For the Scoopy family, Bill Shatner is probably our single favorite entertainer.

    Oh, the rest of the Star Trek cast sings on this page as well. Some of them are actually pretty good, but Shatner ROCKS!

    Graphic Response
  • Courtney Cox in "3000 Miles to Graceland" (2001). Cox has a couple of sex scenes with Kurt Russell, but only lets us see a little cleavage, and some excellent partial bum exposure.

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

  • Helvete
    Barbara Hershey Breast and bum exposure in scenes from "The Last Temptation of Christ".

    Céline Cailleau Frontal nudity in the French movie "Le Poulpe" (1998).

    Julie Delarme Topless, also in scenes from "Le Poulpe".

    Clotilde Courau
    (1, 2)

    Even more toplessness from "Le Poulpe".

    Virginie Ledoyen "The Beach" star goes topless in a love scene from "Fin août, début septembre" aka "Late August, Early September" (1998).

    Nicnac
    Kristy Swanson The Original Buffy in a bath tub scene from "Flowers in the Attic" (1987). Some folks have wondered if there are any goodies to see as she splashes around. Sadly, Nicnac proves there are not. She clearly has her boobs covered.

    Pamela Susan Shoop Topless in scenes from "Halloween II"...Her first and only known nude scene.

    Kathleen Beller A very nice bare bum being massaged in 'caps from "The Sword and the Sorcerer".

    Unknowns Assorted toplessness, also from "The Sword and the Sorcerer" (1982).

    The Hankster
    Samantha Scott
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Topless in scenes from "Brand of Shame" (1968). Her last screen appearance was in the Russ Meyer classic, "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" (1970).

    Fabiana Udenio
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Not nude, but looking very hot as Alotta Fagina in "Austin Powers". Links 2 and 3 have her in the hot tub (she's rather buoyant).

    Cameron Diaz Sexy bikini 'caps from "Charlie's Angels".

    Variety
    Debora Cali
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Topless, bare bum, frontal nudity, and images from the gyno-cam in these 'caps by UC99. These are from legendary Italian director, Tinto Brass' series of short stories, "Tinto Brass: Corti Circuiti Erotici". These 'caps are from the episode "L'Ultimo Metro".

    Rockbitch
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    'Caps and comments by Magic:
    I noticed the other day that the group "RockBitch" was being discussed. A year or so ago someone sent me some vidcaps from one of their concerts. It's outrageous stuff! Toplessness, sex slaves, insertions, and of course the big "Pee Finale" in link #2.

    Jr's note...links #1 and #2 are hard core. Link #2 is especially not for everyone.

    College Girls Exposed Vol. 2

    Dann gets bonus points for the effort! Putting together this collage of assorted girls from the DVD we have all seen advertised must have taken a very long time!

    The only downsides...

  • Nothing but Mardi Gras boob flashes
  • The original file is HUGE at 1.4 megs!

    So here's what I did....this is a 1024x768 edit that is only 190k. If you really want the larger one, let us know.

  • Kari Wuhrer Full frontal nudity from the mega-lame "Vivid". I'm a huge Kari fan, but this movie really stunk. She does get nekkid quite often, and that helps considerably, but it's basically a 2 person movie, and her co-star is truly annoying. Vidcaps by nmd.

    Liz Vassey Finally, after forever and a day FOX's live action version of "The Tick" premiered on Thursday. The cartoon is one of my favorite 'toons of all time. But I don't just don't think the live version will last long. If it makes it to 6 episodes I'll be surprised.

    It's not bad. In fact it's written and produced by Tick creator Ben Edlund, and executive produced and directed by Barry Sonnenfeld. However, I just don't think the toon translates well into live action. But I do have to give full credit to Patrick Warburton...he makes a great "Tick".

    No nudity in these 'caps by DeadLamb, but Liz looked pretty good as "Captain Liberty" (personally I prefer the toon's name for the same character..."American Maid").

    Jamie-Lynn Sigler
    (1, 2)

    Meadow Soprano looking fantastic in these scans from the December Maxim. Undies in #1, bikini top in #2.

    Kayti Edwards
    (1, 2, 3)

    Director Blake Edwards' grand daughter bares all for Larry Flynt in the October issue!

    Linda Fiorentino Topless, plus another frame with see-thru nipple exposure from Martin Scorsese's attempt at a "comedy", "After Hours" (1985). I know that several folks at the IMDb have commented that this is a great dark comedy. My question to them..."what movie were they watching? 'Cuz this thing stunk!"

    Here is the recipe:

    Take a normal guy, stick him in extraordinary situations, stir in some crazy camera work, add eclectic characters, and serve. Ok, we've seen that billion times, except this time there is one major problem. In any movie where you are supposed to be routing for Joe Average, you must like Joe Average!

    Maybe it's personal taste issue, but I have never understood why anyone would ever cast Griffin Dunne for any role that requires more than 3 lines of dialogue at a time. His best role...the part time side kick in "An American Werewolf in London". He showed up, did 3 lines, didn't come back on screen for 10 or 15 minutes....perfect. In "Johnny Dangerously"....once again he showed up, said 4 lines, then off screen for 15 minutes. Another great job.

    So as a bit part character, he's fine. But as a leading man, no thanks.


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