I'm taking some "working vacation," which means I'm still at my desk, but only 6-8 hours a day instead of 16. So I should be here with breaking news

Other Crap:

Flying Spaghetti Monster appears on grilled cheese sandwich

Fight Club author offers another surprise plot twist

The title of the article says it all: President Cheney. That should give those "impeach Bush" people something to think about, eh?

Because she's glib, and doesn't undersatand the history of publicity ... Tom Cruise Fires His Sister as Publicist.

  • Oh, no, and just when she was doing such a great job with Cruise's image
  • Cruise finally made the move when he realized he had David Spade on speed dial.
  • And not only that, Spade wasn't returning his calls.

Steven Colbert talks to N.Y.'s crusading attorney general, Eliot Spitzer.

Steven Colbert counts down today's key threats, from pirates to bears.

Steven Colbert welcomes Canadians to his viewership.

The latest "Quotables" from Late Night with Conan O'Brien

  • "Officials in the Philippines are charging the environmental group Greenpeace $7000 because one of Greenpeace's boats destroyed a coral reef. Greenpeace says it will pay the fine by selling off its collection of rare ivory."
  • "Earlier this week, a car that belonged to Pope John Paul II was sold at an auction for $700,000. The new owner says the first thing he's going to do is take off the 'No Fat Chicks' bumper sticker."
  • "Prince Charles and his wife, Camilla, flew to Washington, D.C. today to meet President Bush and the First Lady. Unfortunately, during the 21-gun salute on the South Lawn, Camilla got frightened, bolted and jumped over a fence."

The trailer from States of Grace

  • The lives of a street preacher, an aspiring actress, a Mormon missionary, and a young gang banger intersect in this ensemble drama set in present-day Santa Monica, California.

Straight Dope Staff Report: Was Warren Harding inducted into the KKK while president?

The Smoking Gun: Police Reports - Cheerleaders In Bathroom Brawl (NOTE: one of the girls is mis-identified in the police report. She was carrying another cheerleader's driver's license)

The Family Guy sings about the FCC

Film Jerk's Early Report for November 8

  • "This week's Early Report covers the 57 known new movies opening in theatres or expanding their runs between Wednesday November 9 and Friday December 16"

Headline of the day candidate: "Drunk moose stir trouble at old people's home"

"Eva Longoria says having a Brazilian wax has boosted her sex life."

Letterman's "Top Ten Things Overheard During The New York City Marathon"

Conan's strategy for Sweeps Week

Conan speaks once again with the Clutch Cargo version of President Bush

Angelina Jolie on the set of Beowulf (Odd stuff. It's one of those capture/animation films.)

John talks to Senator Barack Obama

Daily Show: "President Bush followed his poll numbers and went south to Argentina."

Jon Stewart discusses the new White House ethics classes

According to the Daily Show's Rob Corddry, the French will be surrendering any day now.

iowahawk: French Shower of News

  • "Immigrant Parisian youths, enraged by lack of job opportunities and a growing shortage of flammable cars, tonight turned their wrath on another hated symbol of French cultural oppression - the accordion. 'You try listening to that shit 16 hours a day,' explained 'Tariq,' "
  • "Fearing a spread of musical violence to Great Britain, Edinburgh Lord Mayor Gordon MacInnes warned local Scots against leaving their bagpipes unattended in certain neighborhoods."

"In my collection there are nearly 5000 different beer caps from 84 countries."

My favorite one stop source for bait? Master Bait!

  • "Geez, Tom, how do you catch so fuckin' many fish?" "My secret? Before I hit the pier in the morning - Master Bait. And sometimes after lunch - Master Bait again. And if you really want to be a champion - you can't beat it three times a day."

This is NOT a satire site: "First 5-star hotel opens in Kabul" I have moved Kabul substantially higher on my travel priorities. It's now just above Somalia ("come for the pirates, stay for the warlords"), just below Nagorno-Karabakh.

"Death is only an interchange station between the two worlds."

  • That's the good news. The bad news is that it lasts forever.

"A STEAMY novel by I Lewis 'Scooter' Libby has become a hot item now that Vice President Dick Cheney's chief of staff is under indictment."

  • "Now out of print, the novel tells the story of an innkeeper apprentice in a bizarre coming-of-age story set in Japan in 1903. It is littered with edgy sexual material and strong language."
  • "lavish dollops of voyeurism, bestiality, pedophilia and corpse robbery"
  • ... we gotta get this guy a "not guilty" just so he can get started on the screenplay!
  • Cheney's wife has also written a semi-racy novel about lesbian cowgirls, more or less. What a great Cheney-themed double-bill. It could bring back drive-ins.

Headline of the day so far: "ANISTON SQUIRMS AS LARRY KING PROBES" (Don't bother clicking on the article. Duller than Tucker Carlson's wardrobe.)

"Sharon Osbourne has launched a scathing, obscene attack on Madonna - accusing the pop queen of looking like 'an old hooker'."

  • That's not fair at all! Anyone can see that Madonna looks like a middle-aged hooker. There's a big difference.
  • Sharon herself looks like an old hooker
  • Plus, Madonna looks like a middle-aged hooker who stays in really good shape. When you get around to it, that's not even a negative thing, really.

An R-rated clip from Grandma's Boy

  • I like the film's attitude. "Crude Language, Sexual Humor, Nudity, Chronic Use ... Proud of it."
  • You can also view the trailer from the same page, and it includes nudity.

Dalai Lama returning to Scotland

  • He buys his clothes there


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.


"Lady Chatterley's Lover"

Lady Chatterley's Lover (1981) reunites Sylvia Kristel and director Just Jaeckin from Emmanuelle fame is a retelling of the D. H. Laurence classic. Executive Producers were Golan & Globus. It was not typical Golan & Globus fare however. It was a somber and serious version of the novel, even attempting to preserve the central theme of class differences at the heart of the novel. The dubbing was top notch, especially for Lady Chatterley. Sir Clifford was played by Shane Briant, who came off as properly an asshole, but didn't seem especially English. Nicholas Clay was excellent as Olliver Mellors.

The set design, art direction, and sound track all wreaked of production value. The problem was that they took what is essentially a tale of lust and betrayal, and made it about as exciting as watching paint dry. Even the full frontal from Kristel was not enough to keep the yawns at bay.

IMDb readers say 4.8. It is a C-. Lovers of Kristel will want to wade through it for the glimpses of her on a decent quality transfer. For those who are not familiar with the story, it will serve approximately the same purpose as Cliff Notes.

Sylvia Kristel

Shallow Grave"

Shallow Grave (1994) was a very good black comedy, and a change of tone and pace in the third act is the only thing that kept it from excellence. As it is, it won a BAFTA from best English film, and garnered a host of other awards and nominations. Three flat mates bring in a fourth, whom they discover dead in his room some days later, along with a suitcase full of cash. The three, Kerry Fox as a doctor, Christopher Eccleston as an accountant, and Ewan McGregor as a journalist elect to take the money and dispose of the body rather than notify the police.

Things begin to get complicated when the other crooks interested in the money come to call. Before it is over, the body count mounts, and the friendships are strained to breaking.

Kerry Fox shows breasts early in the film.

IMDb readers say 7.4 of 10. Ebert didn't like any of the main characters, and awarded two stars. Berardinelli awarded three. While he was not as enthusiastic as the European reviewers, he thought it was well acted enough to be worth the watch. This is a C+, but probably no higher. If you like dark comedy, you will be entertained by this one.

Kerry Fox


Today from the Ghost...even more goodies from the Skinemax flick "Sex Surrogate". This batch features late night regular Jacy Andrews and Adult babe Chloe having a little girl/girl fun.

Chloe and Jacy Andrews

Today we have a little look at "House of Wax" the modern day version.

First up is Elisha Cuthbert, a little cleavage, in her bra and then a fully clothed (darn "Babe in Bondage".

Elisha Cuthbert

Then Paris Hilton with some cleavage and in her underwear, this would be the "Hankster Light" for the day.

Paris Hilton

Then we skip over to "Reality Kills" which has nothing to recommend it but a very cute Courtney Peldon with some cleavage, sexy in a bikini and doing a little strip tease which leaves her topless. Then she plays with her titties in the mirror.

Courtney Peldon

'Caps and comments by Dann:

"My Summer of Love"
Award-winning 2004 drama explores teenage lesbian romance, coming of age, and interaction between different social classes.

Set in the Yorkshire countryside of England, working-class tomboy Mona, whose parents are deceased, meets pampered rich girl Tamsin, home from school for the summer.

Friendship quickly blooms into romance into love as events swirl around them. Mona's brother, with whom she lives, has given up a life of crime for religion, and expects Mona to follow his lead. Tamsin, rebellious in the face of her parents plans for her, claims devotion to Mona for life, but can that really happen?

Very well done movie will be enjoyed by viewers of thoughtful dramas. Action lovers probably should pass, however.

Emily BLunt & Nathalie Press


Here is part two of Brainscan's recent Brain/Tuna collection of images.


Audra Rickets
"The L Word"
Audra Rickets
"The L Word"
Christiane Gout
Christiane Gout
Glori-Anne Gilbert
"The Witches of Breastwick"
Glori-Anne Gilbert
"The Witches of Breastwick"
Juliette Cummins
"Friday the 13th Part V"
Juliette Cummins
"Friday the 13th Part V"
Lisa Glaser
"Humanoids from the Deep "
Lorissa McComas
"Hard As Nails"
Maria Conchita Alonso
Mayko Nguyen
"Going the Distance"
JoAnn Harris
"The Gay Deceivers"
Julie K. Smith
"The Witches of Breastwick"
Krista Allen
"Haunted Sea"
Lisa Falcone
"Breast Men"




From NBC's "Surface" is Lake Bell showing off some serious cleavage and looking pretty darn good in her undies in scenes from Monday night's episode. Thanks to DeadLamb!

Thanks go out ot Vejitta for these great 'caps of Rosanna Arquette showing off her amazing chest (plus a bit o' bum) in scenes from 1993's "The Wrong Man".

Pat's comments in yellow...

"Hamlet: The Nude Version" - Jessica Alba told Zoo magazine that her father would lose his mind if she appeared nude in a movie, but she's ready to if "a big director who I really respect has an amazing story" where nudity is necessary. But she said she always gets scripts where she's playing a whore, a biker chick or a horny maid, and they start, 'Tawnya is in the shower. The water streams down her naked, perky breasts.'" Alba said, "Somehow, I don't think this is happening to Natalie Portman."

  • I'll bet it is.
  • She's saying Natalie's breasts aren't perky enough?

    Oompa-Loompa-Doopity-Snooze - Four Norwegians, three men and a woman, are claiming a new world record after watching movies for 70 hours, 33 minutes straight, beating the old record by 24 minutes. Eleven people entered the theater on Friday, but seven couldn't stay awake. They watched 33 movies, including "Charlie & The Chocolate Factory." One of the record-setters told NRK radio that at the end of the marathon, "I threw up everything. I couldn't eat anything. I was trembling and I felt very bad."

  • Nausea, trembling, felling very bad? The last movie must have been "Gigli".
  • That's the same thing everyone said who went to the movies this summer.
  • Maybe that's because they'd eaten nothing for three days but Raisinettes.
  • That's nothing: I know geeks who sat through the director's cut of all 3 "Lord of the Rings," and that's at least 90 hours long.

    No Child Support! -, the official memorabilia website for iconoclastic movie director/actor Vincent Gallo, is offering his sperm for $1 million. The cost includes one attempt at in-vitro fertilization, but as much sperm as it takes to conceive a child. Natural insemination costs $500,000 more, but Gallo says he might waive that fee if the recipient is attractive. The site also offers a $50,000 discount to women who prove they're naturally blond and blue-eyed.

  • Heck, I'd give them $50 just to prove they're naturally blond.
  • How could anyone give birth to Gallo's child if it inherits his big head?
  • I'll bet most iconoclastic movie directors would be more than happy to provide natural insemination for free.