|I don't usually like story jokes,
but I thought this one was cute
The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they have requested an audience, and as they are THE Seven Dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack. "Dopey, my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"
Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"
The pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment, and answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."
In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them.
Dopey turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"
The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."
This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them with an angry glare.
Dopey turns back and says, "Your extreme holiness! Are there ANY dwarf nuns any where in the world?"
After consulting with his advisors, the Pope responds, "I'm sorry my son, there're no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."
The other dwarfs collapse in a heap rolling, laughing and pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting......"Dopey fucked a penguin! Dopey fucked a penguin!"
|pictures and commentary by|
|Five actresses uncovered in
this contribution. Let's start with an American one. It's
Myrna Loy in the 1933 (!) film The Barbarian. Leonard
Maltin's summary in the IMDb says : set in Egypt, lots of
Myrna on display here - including a nude bathing scene.
Well here is the scene. If you look closely you can see some
parts of her breasts and there's even a peak at her
pubes. Pretty amazing stuff for 1933 in the US, don't you
think? How did this scene get past that dreadful Hays
The second actress is French Anne Brochet in the Irish set movie Driftwood. Why is that guy putting a shroud over her? She's not dead.
Speaking of death, that's where our third actress, German Ursula Karven, comes into play. In the film Liebe ist stärker als der Tod she has sex with her brain dead boyfriend because when he was still in better shape he said he wanted her to have his baby. They even showed a scene where she was in the hospital atop her nearly dead boyfriend and getting ecstatic while trying to get pregnant. And although I am not easily disgusted, I was very disgusted with this scene and the whole theme of this flick. Anyway, here's some pictures of Ursula and her boyfriend when both were still very much alive. The second collage shows us her lover pouring sand on her breasts - her left nipple pointing at her pubes. He then washes the sand away with some water before he starts putting his mouth on her right nipple. I wonder if all the sand was gone! Water and sand in your bed, how romantic, I guess just the breadcrumbs are missing. (Scoop's note: ICMS wrote me later to say that these frames have all the earmarks of body double scenes)
And now it's time for an update on the nudity in the new Flemish series 'De makelaar'. In last week's episode we first have actress Ingrid Vandevelde. The guy (Herbert Bruynseels) you see in all these collages is not the real estate agent, he's the husband of the real estate agent. In the first collage he's getting the cleaning lady to baby-sit their sick son but he has other things in mind. Look who's coming home early in the second collage! Oh dear, it's his wife, the real estate agent )Veerle Eyckermans) and she's chasing off her rival. When my mother saw this scene she exclaimed "Oh my goodness, and they're showing this on VTM" (in prime time). Then follows a period where he's sucking up to his wife, buying her flowers amongst others, and finally he asks her if he can go out for a game of cards. You can see in the collage of Ann Ceurvels what game they are playing. Certainly no cards involved in this playing with his mistress. In the third but last picture you can see her hand doing some action to make his Calvin grow from Klein to large and by the look on his face she is successful. This guy really is playing the role of his life - in over 80% of his scenes he's in bed or somewhere else frolicking with a beautiful Flemish actress. Some guys have all the luck!
|One Fish, Two Fish|
|Mongoose (his own commentary).||"Liane"|
this movie! A German flick released in 1956, Liane,
Jungle Goddess (aka Liane, das Mädchen aus dem Urwald)
is about a bunch of Germans doing research in Africa who
come across a tribe led by a young white female. 18 years
prior, Liane's family died in a shipwreck and somehow
Liane washed ashore to be raised by the tribe
(hmmmm...sounds a bit familiar). Marion Michael plays
Liane and she was around 18 years old at the time. Her
jungle goddess status required that she be topless and
though her long hair did get in the way much of the time,
the nips would peek out every
now and then.
IMDb voters gave this movie a below .500 vote which just makes me feel all that much better for not being part of the mainstream. Here Liane is getting captured by the bawonis. Marion was some sort of athlete and won a large nationwide competition to get this role. Reminds me a bit of a young German Bardot. Couple more nip peeks here.
This is by far the most difficult source I've ever capped from. This is a truly horrendous VHS print of this movie and there were a couple of scenes that I would've loved to cap but the picture was too distorted to salvage. I thought Marion did a terrific job as the exuberant and naive jungle hellcat trying to adapt to modern (1956) German life. Here are a couple more nip peeks and nice shots of her gorgeous face. .Of course, after she gets her hair cut...no more topless scenes.
This last collage has no nudity but does showcase Marion's beauty and demonstrates the differences in German popular cinema of the 1950s as compared to that in America. Liane and the lady doctor both wore "Daisy Dukes" a good 20 years prior to Catherine Bach and it's nice to see the cheeks peeking out from under shorts in the hot steamy jungle. There was also the scene were Liane takes Hardy Kruger's hand and places it on her breast which I doubt would've happened in a Hollywood production of the time. After the characters left the jungle and went back to Germany the movie became a bit of murder mystery before Liane gained her rightful inheritance and returned with her beloved Thoren to the jungle. Marion made a few more films, including a couple of Liane sequels. If anyone has any info or caps from the sequels please email me at email@example.com
I don't think I ever got so many from Iced Tea in one day.