Uncle Scoopy's Fun House

I don't usually like story jokes, but I thought this one was cute

The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they have requested an audience, and as they are THE Seven Dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack. "Dopey, my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"

Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

The pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment, and answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."

In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them.

Dopey turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."

This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back and says, "Your extreme holiness! Are there ANY dwarf nuns any where in the world?"

After consulting with his advisors, the Pope responds, "I'm sorry my son, there're no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

The other dwarfs collapse in a heap rolling, laughing and pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting......"Dopey fucked a penguin! Dopey fucked a penguin!"

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Five actresses uncovered in this contribution. Let's start with an American one. It's Myrna Loy in the 1933 (!) film The Barbarian. Leonard Maltin's summary in the IMDb says : set in Egypt, lots of Myrna on display here - including a nude bathing scene. Well here is the scene. If you look closely you can see some parts of her breasts and there's even a peak at her pubes. Pretty amazing stuff for 1933 in the US, don't you think? How did this scene get past that dreadful Hays code?

The second actress is French Anne Brochet in the Irish set movie Driftwood. Why is that guy putting a shroud over her? She's not dead.

Speaking of death, that's where our third actress, German Ursula Karven, comes into play. In the film Liebe ist stärker als der Tod she has sex with her brain dead boyfriend because when he was still in better shape he said he wanted her to have his baby. They even showed a scene where she was in the hospital atop her nearly dead boyfriend and getting ecstatic while trying to get pregnant. And although I am not easily disgusted, I was very disgusted with this scene and the whole theme of this flick. Anyway, here's some pictures of Ursula and her boyfriend when both were still very much alive. The second collage shows us her lover pouring sand on her breasts - her left nipple pointing at her pubes. He then washes the sand away with some water before he starts putting his mouth on her right nipple. I wonder if all the sand was gone! Water and sand in your bed, how romantic, I guess just the breadcrumbs are missing. (Scoop's note: ICMS wrote me later to say that these frames have all the earmarks of body double scenes)

And now it's time for an update on the nudity in the new Flemish series 'De makelaar'. In last week's episode we first have actress Ingrid Vandevelde. The guy (Herbert Bruynseels) you see in all these collages is not the real estate agent, he's the husband of the real estate agent. In the first collage he's getting the cleaning lady to baby-sit their sick son but he has other things in mind. Look who's coming home early in the second collage! Oh dear, it's his wife, the real estate agent )Veerle Eyckermans) and she's chasing off her rival. When my mother saw this scene she exclaimed "Oh my goodness, and they're showing this on VTM" (in prime time). Then follows a period where he's sucking up to his wife, buying her flowers amongst others, and finally he asks her if he can go out for a game of cards. You can see in the collage of Ann Ceurvels what game they are playing. Certainly no cards involved in this playing with his mistress. In the third but last picture you can see her hand doing some action to make his Calvin grow from Klein to large and by the look on his face she is successful. This guy really is playing the role of his life - in over 80% of his scenes he's in bed or somewhere else frolicking with a beautiful Flemish actress. Some guys have all the luck!

Olinka Berova in a classic horror film. These images are all from a theatrical trailer.

Barbara Sukowa of course, an important actress, and Zentropa is an important film. Shot mainly in black and white, this art film is definitely not for everyone. No Nudity here.

Bo Derek in Bolero. No acting talent displayed here, but a definite enthusiasm from Ms. Derek. This is a John Derek film, so the scenes are mis-lit.

The prize of todays bunch -- Olivia D'Abo from Bolero, in her debut role.

Do you think Blinky likes Angela Lindvall. Well, what's not to like? Anyway, here's another 18 of the runway model. (#1 , #2 , #3 , #4 , #5 , #6 , #7 , #8 , #9 , #10 , #11 , #12 , #13 , #14 , #15 , #16 , #17 , #18)

We have two guys who specialize in "outing" celebs who have done more explicit things than they'd care to admit.

Fred has submitted a lot in the past, but this is the first time I ever gave him a name. These are five scans of Page Three Girl Kirsten Imrie doing a lot of "girl stuff" (hint: not shopping) that won't be appearing on Page Three. (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5)

The other guy is CaveDweller.

Now this may not seem like a big deal to you, but if you're into fitness babes, I guess it is a really big deal, because Julie Ann Stolfa has been on the cover of many muscle and fitness magazines, and is the captain of the extreme bikini team (extremebikiniteam.com), and here she is doing honest to goodness hardcore

Monday

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