The Housekeeper (2002) is a French romantic comedy about a May December romance, originally titled Une femme de ménage. It stars Jean-Pierre Bacri as a 50ish recording engineer recently separated from his wife, and Emilie Dequenne (The Brotherhood of the Wolf, and the upcoming Bridge of San Luis Rey) as the young woman he hires as a housekeeper. Although she is rather slovenly, she is enthusiastic, and he brings her in one day a week while he is at work. She ingratiates herself to him, doing more tasks and expanding to two days a week, and then finally moves in with him claiming that she was kicked out of her current apartment.
They have nothing in common. He music grates on him, he is rather set in his ways, and so on, but the sexual tension grows, and they discover that they have two things in common, sex, and mutual need. He takes her on holiday to Brittany, and she professes a deep love for him, but he seems to understand the relationship for what it is. I won't spoil the ending, other than to say that it is a real life appropriate ending.
IMDB readers have it at 6.2 of 10. Dequenne received a young performer nomination from the Cesar awards (her second). Ebert gives three stars, and even the Villiage Voice liked it. The cinematography was lovely, and we got several looks at Dequenne's breasts. It is shown in an excellent Widescreen transfer, and is in French with optional English subtitles. If you enjoy the characters, you will likely enjoy the film. C.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Johnny Be Good (1988)
I've never been very patient with reviewers who just dismiss a
film as shit. Oh, I don't mind that they carelessly and
thoughtlessly fustigate a work into which some other human being has
poured months of work and his very soul, the very innermost longings
of his being.
Nah. That's OK.
What pisses me off is that they aren't specific enough.
The English language is a
complex one, and offers many opportunities for highly precise
description. We do not have to refer to a film as simply "shit". We
can specify the type of shit.
- We can say, for example, that a meager film is
composed of mere fewmets - deer droppings.
- Or wormcast, which is like wormshit.
- The sequels to Jurassic Park are filled with
coprolite - dinosaur shit.
- Most westerns are filled with bodewash or tath
- cow shit.
- Vampire movies are usually filled with guano -
batshit (also means birdshit).
So many choices.
Since Johnny Be Good intended to be a rollicking,
playful movie, we can probably say that it is full of spraints -
Anthony Michael Hall plays a cool guy who is the star of his high
school football team. (Yeah, I know. What can I tell you? It's a
He's being recruited by every college in the country. The
recruiters hover around him 24/7. A general is there from West
Point, a priest from Notre Dame, a Cowboy from "Ol' Tex", and so
forth. He goes on some recruiting junkets, during which he
encounters all kinds of sleazy people who use various slimy
techniques to get him to go to their university. Finally, he strips
away his metaphorical blindfold and sees things as they really are,
or some crap like that.
At times, it seems like the film was trying to be funny,
but I'm not really sure. If it was, it failed. The "comical"
recruiters are too heavy-handed and unsubtle, and even Snidely
Whiplash would find the two heavies (the high school coach and a
college president) to be lacking in shading. The only good scenes
are between Hall and his family, because those moments have a touch of
A few interesting bits of trivia:
1. The film features both Robert Downey Sr. and
Robert Downey Jr. The kid is always good, but Sr. isn't much of an actor. He plays an NCAA
investigator, but it's possible that he's actually an alien robot
sent to infiltrate our civilization and learn our curious
2. Both Howard Cosell and Jim McMahon play
themselves. Oddly enough, they play themselves as assholes. Or
maybe they were trying to be charming but couldn't, because they
3. This was the screen debut of Uma Thurman, and she looked
delicious. (See the
review page for pictures)
4. It features a young, slim Jennifer Tilly.
The three finalists in Page 3 Idol 2003
If you are
here is the full 213 page script for the
cancelled CBS miniseries, "The Reagans"
(use the free day pass, wait for the commercial to end, and
you can download the entire screenplay in .pdf format)
If you are
the Smoking Gun's archive of the complete
testimony in the Kobe Bryant hearing. 166 pages.
This link goes to page 27, which
is where the investigating officer begins to describe the sex
acts. To continue past that page, go to the bottom of the page
and press the forward arrow thingy (>).
The Smoking Gun: Archive.
This is a significant portion of the cross-examination. The
accuser was taken to the hospital. Her panties were examined.
Her pubes were combed for external hairs. The panties
contained semen stains, but not Kobe's. And they did
find pubic hair - of a Caucasian. In other words. It's
gonna be one messy, lurid trial. It seems that the defense
will argue that her vaginal trauma was caused by frequent,
energetic consensual sex, not by an act of rape.
The Sect of Homokaasu - The Gematriculator.
I don't know what the hell this is, but it says that our site
is 32% evil, 68% good. My full name is 99% good!
Videogame Music Midi Challenge:
Guess the correct game by listening to the midi music!
The Partridge Family is coming back to
television in a new, updated series.
A spokesman for Prince Charles has scotched
rumours that the heir to the British throne is the real author
of a series of mysterious Amazon.com reader reviews that have
perplexed and entertained Internet users over the past
Here is the first trailer for Troy - and it
isn't a very good one.
Well, they have six months to fix it.
- she was a playmate and a Baywatch babe. Here's a free, nude
Playmate Gallery Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
More hockey cheerleaders - well, kinda, sorta -
The Islanders Ice Girls
The Queen Mary II, the largest passenger ship
ever built, left port in western France for a second round of
tests ahead of its maiden transatlantic voyage in January.
U.S. Baseball Team Fails to Make Olympics!
Titanic, the biggest box office hit in history
and winner of 11 Oscars, has been voted the worst film ever by
viewers of BBC One's Film 2003.
Pearl Harbor, The Avengers, and
Blair Witch gave it the college try, but The Big Boat sailed
Paris Hilton update "PEOPLE who've seen the
Paris Hilton porno feel sorry for the hot-blooded hotel
heiress because it appears her sleazy boyfriend, Rick Solomon,
took advantage of her when she was nearly unconscious. 'She is
so far gone she is drooling'.
What's surprising about that? Has
anyone ever seen Paris when she didn't seem to be unconscious
Here's a tip for you youngsters who want to be
principals. How to improve your school's average SAT scores?
Tell the dumb kids not to take the test.
CBS Pulls Frosty The Snowman.
CBS announced today that it is pulling the popular Christmas
television show Frosty the Snowman, following pressure from
conservative groups. “Portraying a melting snowman in December
might cast a bad light on the Bush administration's
environmental policy,” said CBS President Les Moonves
November 7th, Tafjord Norway (north of the 62nd
parallel) - high of 71 degrees.
Norway is going to clean house on this global warming thing.
If global temperatures increase, the polar ice cap melts, and
oceans rise, countries will need two things to survive
comfortably - high elevations and cool temperatures. Welcome
to Oslo - Miami Beach of the future.
The greatest Album of all Time, Transformed
Man, is now available from Amazon.com shops - for seventy
bucks or more. You'd
have to love Shatner a whole lot more than I do.
Mrs. Miller's Greatest Hits - probably the
second greatest album of all time.
Anna Nicole Smith at the launch party for the
DVD of her show's Season 1
Vladimir Lenin, whose body remains on display
in the mausoleum on Red Square, is getting a new suit.
He gets one every three years. He's probably the only person
born in the 19th century who still changes clothes that often,
possibly excepting Cher.
Pabst Brewing Co. said it may soon put itself
up for sale. The
company doesn't actually own much except some famous and
semi-famous brand names. It contracts the actual brewing.
Stamp makers in the Russian republic of
Mordovia have released a series that salutes the sex scandal
that nearly brought down the Clinton White House.
The article pictures the Monica Lewinsky stamp, and describes
the entire series.
Chuck Wepner, the boxer who was the inspiration
for Rocky Balboa, plans to file a lawsuit against Stallone for
illegally using his name to promote the films and other
MovieJuice reviews The Matrix Revolutions -
Everything Old is Neo Again
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick
Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
'Caps and comments by Oz:
Starting with Liza Minelli in Charlie Bubbles. I don't think anything is visible but the film was made when Liza was worth looking at.
"Cold Dog Soup"
Some sexy non-nude caps of Christine Harnos in Cold Dog Soup.
"Her Best Friend's Husband"
Cheryl Ladd's looking good in Her Best Friend's Husband, over 20 years after her role in Charlie's Angels.
Just to remind you, here's the angels in an episode titled Angel Hunt. Pokies by Shelley Hack and Jaclyn Smith, and Cheryl Ladd is very easy on the eye.
"Dinner with Friends"
Pokies by Andie MacDowell in Dinner with Friends.
More pokies by Andie MacDowell in Crush.
Lots of nudity and pokies by a variety of actresses in The Pornographer. We have some nudity by Monique Parent, Georgina Trahopoulous, Roxanna Hall and an unnamed centrefold, and nice caps of Mariam Parris, Katheryn Cain, Kelly Stone and Rena Riffel.
"Stiff Upper Lips"
Lots of cleavage by Georgina Cates in Stiff Upper Lips.
"Love with a Proper Stranger"
No nudity by Natalie Wood in Love with a Proper Stranger.
"Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice"
Natalie's beauty was also on show in Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice, along with Dyan Cannon. The full frontal nudity comes from some unknowns at a resort, and a dream passenger in an aeroplane is topless.
- Natalie Wood
- Dyan Cannon
Serenades is an Australian movie. The nudity is not pleasant and comes from Franchesca Cubilla. Alica Haines does an interesting dance.
Money Movers is another Aussie movie with topless views of Kathy Dior and Candy Raymond. Candy was well known in the 70s in Australia for taking her clothes off.
No nudity in P J by some unknowns, Susan Saint James and Gayle Hunnicutt, although Gayle comes close in a bath.
|Excellent paparazzi 'caps of the UK actress topless and bending over to reveal her bum. You can see her on the big screen in the upcoming movie "Timeline" (2003).
|Awesome high definition 'caps with wonderful cleavage from the NBC series "Las Vegas".
|Vidcaps by Vejiita featuring both ladies topless in scenes from the Spanish movie "Atraco a las 3... y media" (2003).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
BURGER HEIRESS LEAVES $200 MIL TO NPR
Just Imagine How Boring They'll Be Able To Be Now! - Joan Kroc, billionaire
widow of the founder of McDonald's, died October 12 and stunned National
Public Radio by leaving them $200 million, more than double their annual
Now they can afford to replace their turntables with CD players.
Can you IMAGINE the size of the tote bag she got?!
She died of boredom while listening to NPR.
They will use the money to produce hundreds of documentaries about how
evil McDonald's is.
TODDLERS LIVING LIKE SPOILED TEENAGERS
Calling Dr. Phil! - A survey in Britain by Mother And Baby magazine found
that toddlers are now leading a spoiled teenager's lifestyle. By age
three, 42 percent have a TV in their own room, 50 percent have a CD player,
more than a quarter "choose their own haircut" and two-thirds wear designer
clothes, with 86 percent of moms spending more on their toddler's clothes
than on their own. 61 percent will eat Italian food, 51 percent will eat
Chinese or Indian food, and 3 percent will eat sushi. However, most moms
say mealtimes are a "nightmare," with 75 percent of toddlers refusing to
eat and over half throwing their food instead of swallowing it.
Well, STOP giving them sushi!!
That's just a natural reaction to British food.
This is how Paris and Nikki Hilton got started.
They wear designer clothes, eat gourmet food, have great stereos and
aren't even toilet-trained...They're like rock stars!
BRITNEY TRICKED AGAIN!
That's "Q," Not "I.Q." - Britney Spears, who recently complained that she
was tricked into posing bottomless for Esquire and wouldn't take off her
clothes for photos again, is now appearing on the cover of the British
magazine Q wearing only leather gloves, a bra and skimpy panties, kneeling
on a car and suggestively grabbing her inner thighs.
She's covering them with her hands out of modesty.
The photographer tricked her: The car's a convertible, so he suggested
she take down the top.
She wore thick gloves so they couldn't trick her into unhooking her bra.
BLAINE TO JUMP INTO RIVER FROM HELICOPTER
Fasting Causes Brain Damage - Magician David Blaine, recovering from 44
days of fasting in a box, told Larry King that for his next stunt, he will
plunge hundreds of feet from a helicopter into a river. He called it the
"dive of death" because only a couple of people have survived such a high
dive. He said it's like hitting pavement, but there will be no parachute
and "no dummy, either." Asked why he keeps doing these things, he said,
"I'm going to keep doing these things as long as I can. That's what I
feel my reason is."
I thought the reason was because learning to do actual magic tricks is
He's so thin now, he should part the water easily.
He was in the box when that idiot went over Niagara Falls, so he doesn't
know this has already been done.
After 44 days without a bath, it was his girlfriend's idea that he
plunge into water.
No dummy? That's a matter for debate.
ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT SUES FOX TV
What A Revoltin' Development - The hip-hop group Arrested Development,
which split up in 1995 but is reforming for a new album, is suing Fox TV
and Ron Howard's company for naming a new sitcom "Arrested Development."
AD spokesman Todd "Speech" Thomas said, "Fox has no more right to use
Arrested Development for its show than a band would have to name itself
after one of Fox's sitcoms." He claimed the sitcom name will confuse the
public and "significantly dilute what the name means to our fans."
If they'd had any since 1995.
What a self-centered attitude! That is SO immature!
They didn't invent arrested development...Pauly Shore could sue both of
Apparently, the new line-up of Arrested Development includes Spike Lee.
BRA HELPS YOU STOP SMOKING
The Panties Help Reduce Your Butts - Thursday in Tokyo, Triumph
International unveiled a new bra and panty set designed to help the wearer
quit smoking. The bra has fragrance capsules in the front that supposedly
help calm nicotine cravings. The underwear also is treated with liquefied
titanium oxide to break down the smell of cigarette smoke.
If you're already undressed enough that a man can smell your underwear,
he's not going to care if you smoke.
The problem is, you look so hot in the bra and panties, you end up
having sex, and then you want a cigarette.
Instead of the bra, why not just wear two nicotine patches?
NOTE! Excellent photo here: