Honeybee (2001) is a by the numbers sports story with each and every one of the requisite plot points. Student drops out of school to pursue a sports career. Parents do their best to prevent it. After lots of hard work with a great coach, the athlete is ready for the world championship against a truly evil opponent, after having overcome some real problems. What makes it somewhat unique is that the athlete is a woman who becomes a boxer. Her father, a prominent attorney, does everything he can to get women's boxing outlawed. Along the way, her boyfriend finds a little sumpin' on the side with her training schedule. She walks in on the two of them, and boyfriend and blonde bimbo Jamie Poppingo run for their lives, and lock themselves in the bathroom. Her showdown match is against an undefeated woman who is known for fighting dirty, and who has been trying to seduce her for two years.

The film is barely mentioned at IMDB, and there are no reviews available. It played a handful of festivals. and is now available on DVD. While it explores no new ground, and the plot follows a predictable path, it does present some not often seen cultural influences, such as the ultra rich black family. For me, it was no better or worse than any similar sports story, although the breast and buns exposure from Poppingo was a plus. Senait Ashenafi of General Hospital fame played the title character. This is a C - a perfectly acceptable sports formula story.

Naked grannies today, screen icons Kim Basinger (48) and Isabelle Huppert (47). Despite the fact that I saw two widely-acclaimed films, this day was a chore for me, because they weren't my kind of films.

• Kim Basinger. Nothing much to see, a dark top of her butt in the first, maybe a hint of nipple in the second. (1, 2)

La Pianiste is the usual demented, ugly, sexually explicit arty French movie which is honored at the kind of pretentious film festivals attended by people who believe that misery is the highest form of art, except for suffering. Oh, and pretty red uniforms. And a fanatical devotion to the Pope. But what do I know? I'm the one guy who does expect the Spanish Inquisition, and is never surprised by its unannounced arrival.

• Isabelle Huppert (1, 2, 3)
• other demented French people doing hard-core stuff (1, 2)

UPDATES:

• New encyclopedia volumes for Gabriella Hall, Marie Gillain, Jo Guest, and Lisa Comshaw.

OTHER CRAP:

• Penelope Cruz's lookalike sister at the beach, missing her top
• Page 3 looking for new topless women
• Chicks in and out of soccer uniforms
• I would like to explain to me how a thriller can provoke critical disagreement this wide. Roger Ebert gave Brian DePalma's  Femme Fatale four stars (highest score). Owen Gleiberman of Entertainment Weekly (also a great reviewer) gave it an F (lowest score).
• You have to love the internet. Recently unsealed court documents reveal that Winona signed a confession! The Smoking Gun got the goods. She also asked to be able to pay back for what she stole. "Not guilty, your honor"
• The Simpsons - the Abbey Road cover on Rolling Stone. Is it the greatest show in TV history? I would be hard to name a competitor. Any other show you might name could match the Simpsons for heart, or for intellect, or for humor, or for cultural insight, but not for all four. As funny as Seinfeld, as intelligent as I, Claudius, as hip and culturally encompassing as Dennis Miller, with characters that are as real as our neighbors, despite being little blobs of color within a satirical framework. The show began by commenting on our culture, but over the years, it has become one of the best parts of it! Many people claim to be Da Man, but Matt Groening IS Da Man. Well, except maybe for Monty Burns. And Bill Shatner, of course.
• Next Wave of Porn Star Action Figures Scanned by Plastic Fantasy
• What could be sadder than the nostalgic image of the little kid coming up to Shoeless Joe Jackson and begging him to just "say it ain't so, Joe"? Even the sacred World Series could be fixed by gamblers? That moment symbolized an important part in a generation's loss of innocence, much like this evidence that the famous picture of Bill Clinton shaking hands with an alien was  - (I'm fighting back tears of disillusionment here)  - a fake.
  http://www.boston.com/dailyglobe2/311/metro/Court_decision_brings_freelancer_back_to_earth+.shtml
• The Sun explains why some people think women have that fishy smell.
• Al-Quaida scientists resurrect Khomeini from the dead
• Here's a battle of the minds. Alec Baldwin says Matt Drudge made homosexual advances on him. Drudge replies that he's not gay, but if he were, he'd have better taste. (Fifth story down)
• Sight and Sound magazine picks Apocalypse Now as the top film of the past quarter century. Oh, sure, maybe the best film without Tom Green, but not the best overall.

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

• Salma Hayek (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

Today's theme, Hollywood's expecting mothers. Not everyone's cup of tea, but the images are all tastefull and some are kinda arty too (Kelly Preston's pics).

• Thumbnail Previews
• Thumbnail Previews
• Vanna White
• Paige Zangrillo
• Heather Thomas (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Kelly Preston (1, 2, 3)
• Daphne Wayans. Link #1 has the only nudity. (1, 2)

Jade and Shania
(1, 2)

MADONNA AGHAST AT LACK OF MORALITY

Truth Or Dairy - During a radio interview in Los Angeles, Madonna criticized ABC's "Good Morning America" for airing a story about the mom who was in trouble for still breastfeeding her 8-year-old son, with videotape of her nursing him. Madonna ranted, "Why is there a tape of this? I tell you, the world is collapsing...How dare 'GMA' play it? People have no morals, I swear to God, it's unbelievable...The things people do for ratings is unforgivable."