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"Kill Cruise" (1990)

Kill Cruise, aka Der Skipper, stars Jürgen Prochnow, Elizabeth Hurley and Patsy Kensit. Prochnow is a yacht owner who has turned to drink when his wife leaves him after her lover drowns at sea on Prochnow's yacht. Two bar entertainers (Hurley and Kensit) talk him into sailing them to Barbados. A triangle develops, and the journey is tense from the beginning. In case any of you want to see it, I will leave the plot at that, other than two say that it has a surprise ending that I didn't think fit with the rest of the film.

The DVD transfer was as bad as a weak VHS. The DVD was very difficult to find. Hurley does a strip in the bar. She also has two sex scenes with Prochnow, but do to the lighting and the transfer quality, I could not get anything useful from either one. There is nothing in the way of reviews on the net. IMDB readers have it at 6.0/10, but with only 37 votes. My vote will lower the average.

  • Thumbnails

  • Elizabeth Hurley (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Patsy Kensit (1, 2)

    "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" (1969)

    On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969) marks the first and only appearance of George Lazenby as 007. The film is one of the best in the series, with wonderful action sequences, a touching love story, a villainous villain (Telly Sevalis), and a whole new side to Bond's character. The only flaw was Lazenby himself, who didn't bring much to the role. The critics pretty much agree at 3.5 stars, and IMDB voters have it at 6.6/10. Made for 6 million, it grossed over 100 million.

    Bond is encouraged to court a countess by her wealthy father who has some legal businesses and some not so legal. He and the daughter both help Bond find and attack Blowfeld, who is trying to blackmail the world into declaring him legitimate. Rigg shows a lot of cleavage, and that is it for exposure in this film.

  • Thumbnails

  • Diana Rigg (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Today's reviews, both new to DVD today.

  • Body Shots, which is basically Roshomon for Retards.

  • Kids, Chloe Sevigny's screen debut, in which she managed to appear briefly without her underpants, albeit in terrible lighting.

    And of course, if you skip the words, here are the pictures:

  • Emily Procter, "Body Shots" (1, 2, 3)
  • Tara Reid, "Body Shots" (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Chloe Sevigny (1, 2)
  • Oz
    Comments by Oz:

    Catherine Spaak Catherine is showing some topless action from a 1971 movie Cat O' Nine Tails.
    Carrie Fisher Carrie wears leopard-skin underwear in The Man With One Red Shoe with Tom Hanks. It was quite an entertaining movie.
    Connie Nielson Not revealing as much as she did in The Devil's Advocate, actually only a bit of see-through if you use your imagination. The futuristic movie is Soldier and Connie plays a settler in a colony that needs rescuing by Kurt Russell If you put your mind in neutral you'll enjoy the action in the movie.
    Azizi Johari

    Alice Friedland

    Trisha Pelham
    (1, 2)


    "Killing of a Chinese Bookie"

    It would be an interesting trivia question to find out what movie (or plot) is referred to the most in other movies. This would have to come close. The plot is simple. Ben Gazzara owns a strip club and has a gambling debt that needs to be paid. To work off the debt he has to kill a Chinese bookie. There is a bit of topless nudity by the dancers: Azizi Johari, Alice Friedland, Trisha Pelham (who is auditioning) and some unknowns

    María Pujalte

    Candela Peña
    (1, 2)


    This is another Insomnia made in 1997 but this is a Spanish movie. María Pujalte is the pushy fiancée of a reluctant man who ends up with an emotional cripple Candela Peña. Not an enjoyable movie.

    Carolyn Goff
    (1, 2)

    Kathryn Erbe
    (1, 2)

    Rhonda Towells

    Raschelle Frayne and Dawna Wright

    "Naked City : Justice with a Bullet"

    The caps of Carolyn Goff have appeared in the Fun House before but there were some other items of interest in the movie. Kathryn Erbe and Robin Tunney are two naive country girls spending a holiday in the big city. The movie goes through their misunderstandings and misadventures as they end up being chased by criminals. Carolyn Goff, Raschelle Frayne and Dawna Wright are the gangster's molls. Rhonda Towells is the 'free sample' to a strip show.

    Renee Zellweger
    (1, 2)
    A non-nude as Renee displays herself behind some glass in Deceiver.
    Nikki Fritz
    (1, 2)
    An excellent collection of late night favorites from the movie "Secret Pleasures". Naturally we have all of the usual stuff like: big fake boobs, simulated sex, some posterior views and, still more simulated sex. Of this batch only Nikki #2 has any frontal exposure.
    Michelle von Flotow
    (1, 2)
    Looks like Michelle ordered the "In the event of a water landing" implants. Here she is demonstrating their buoyancy .
    Kim Yates
    (1, 2)
    Showing more from behind than the rest of today's Skinemax ladies.
    Ahmo Hight Simulated lesbian lovin' with von Flotow.
    Raica Oliveira
    (1, 2, 3, 4)
    Brunette babe pimping goods by Dior.
    Marion Jones
    (1, 2)
    Cool photography, but no skin. Can you guess the product this ad is selling?
    Shirley Mallmann
    (1, 2)
    Showing the most skin in #2 (lingerie scan)
    Liz Hurley Beautiful scan of a beautiful face.
    Malgosia Bela A CK ad.
    and ...
    Laetitia Casta
    (1, 2, 3, 4)
    Most if not all of these have been seen here before. But really can't go wrong with Laetitia!

    Here's the breakdown...
    #1 Topless vidcaps from "La Bicyclette Bleue" by UC99.
    #2 Arty scan with partial side breast exposure.
    #3 See-thru nipple exposure.
    #4 Full dorsal nudity.

    Milena Miconi
    (1, 2, 3)
    Two extremely see-thru topless scans, and 1 full blown topless scan of the busty, Italian redhead. Thanks to Forch 1.
    Joanna Pacula Looking fantastic in these topless 'caps from "Husbands and Lovers", by Hugo. According to the IMDb this is another movie in the "9 1/2 Weeks" style. Except instead of The Mickster, it stars Julian sands, and the new official French guy in every American movie...Tchéky Karyo. (Sorry, Depardieu!)
    Lucy Liu Multiple views of her leather dominatrix outfit in 'caps from "Payback" by Watty. Nice cleavage, and great thong images.
    Christina Applegate Excellent bikini 'caps by Mese.
    The Funnies
    More "Why did the chicken cross the road" stuff...

    Al GORE
    I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.

    I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.

    I believe that every chicken has the right to worship his or her God in his or her own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in his or her own way.

    Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself.

    Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire makers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.

    To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

    Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it - the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

    This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

    To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

    The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

    And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

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