Monday

Havoc (2005):

I suppose you probably know what this is, unless you were just released from a maximum security prison where you did all your time "in the box." If you want the details, Variety covered it comprehensively. The most important fact for our purposes is that it's the movie which features nudity from Anne Hathaway. Oh, yeah, and Bijou Phillips.

Here's my take on the latest images and vids to hit the web. The commercial DVD comes out for Thanksgiving, in "R" and "unrated" versions.

Anne Hathaway

Bijou Phillips

Cannes Man (1996):

Producer Sy Lerner has always been the biggest bullshitter in an industry which prides itself on bullshit - the movie business. One day, while idling around the Cannes Film Festival on opening day, he boasts to a companion that he can take the first schmuck who walks by and make him the talk of the festival, even without any product to back the bullshit. The boast leads to a wager in which the other bettor gets to pick the schmuck. It's an easy choice. Sy's companion looks out toward the Mediterranean and sees a doofy-lookin' guy wading in his street shoes. The Chosen One is Frank Rhinoslavsky, a naive L.A. cab driver who happened to be in Cannes because he was making a few extra bucks by acting as a courier for the low budget group at Troma Pictures.

Sy then begins the process of promoting "Frank Rhino" and his non-existent script, titled Cannes Man (Con Man), into the greatest success story in the history of the festival. Frank gets a new haircut and wardrobe, and is told to wave, smile, and keep silent, while Sy does the promoting. It is not long before Sy actually has people coming up to him and begging to be involved with the project. Johnny Depp and Jim Jarmusch nearly end their friendship in an argument over which of them will direct the non-existent film.

Despite a near-zero budget, this cynical movie is fun to watch, if for no other reason than that it was really shot at Cannes, and features dozens of major actors, directors, and producers in cameo roles both scripted and improvised.  Talk about a big bang for the buck - it was made with very little money, yet stars everyone in the industry! Better than the movie is an interview with director Richard Martini, in which he explains how he made the film with a combination of guile and balls. Martini and Seymour Cassel (as Sy Lerner) were really the entire film. They simply went up to various people and persuaded them to participate. Cassel improvised most of his scenes within the basic framework, leading the various volunteer stars through the paces. When Cassel was no longer available, Martini took over. He simply made a small change in the focus of the project, by adding a framing device in which the story was being told after Sy's death, with people recalling his antics. Martini went up to various showbiz types and asked them to tell their funniest "Hollywood scumbag bullshitter" stories, simply substituting the name Sy Lerner for the name of the real perpetrator. Almost everyone signed a release agreeing that the film could use their footage and their name in the cast. Virtually nobody read the release. (Peter Gallagher was the only exception.) Since the film was made in Europe, it was out of union jurisdiction, further simplifying matters. Some people were tricked into participating. John Malkovich signed the release and agreed to participate in a documentary about Cannes without being informed that it was actually a "mockumentary." Once the scene with Cassel began and Malkovich saw the handwriting on the wall, he simply decided that it would be easier and a better public relations move if he played along, so he had some fun with it.

Unfortunately, the only nudity comes from an anonymous woman on the beach at Cannes.

Unknown

Other Crap:

Susan Sarandon recovering from near-fatal belly dancing injury

Panthers cheerleaders reportedly arrested!: "Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders were arrested early Sunday morning at a Tampa nightclub after an incident that reportedly began with the two of them having sex" ... with each other!

Here's the Carolina Cheerleader story as reported by Tampa Bay's 10 News. Looks like it includes the two mug shots. (See links below for more details.)

Here is the official page for the other Carolina Panthers cheerleader in the Tampa altercation (Renee Thomas)

Here is the official page for one of the Carolina Panthers cheerleaders in the Tampa altercation (Angela Keathey)

"Terrell Owens will not play football for the Philadelphia Eagles again." ... and this link is from Philadephia's Channel 6 - the ABC affiliate.

Weekend Box Office Results, November 4-6, 2005

  • Chicken Little and Jarhead exceeded expectations, as did most carry-overs, but the weekend was still 10% below last year, which was buoyed by a mammoth ($70 million) debut from The Incredibles.
  • Among carryovers, Prime was impressive, having lost only 15% of its total from last weekend.
  • Steve Martin's Shopgirl unexpectedly made the top ten despite being on only 493 screens. It averaged $5000 per screen (nearly doubling Zorro in this category), lifting it to 9th overall.

"Zogby poll: Majority of likely voters support considering impeachment if Bush lied on Iraq, 51-45 percent "

  • Yesssssssssssss - it makes sense. Get the President out of there and turn the country over to Dick Cheney! Now that's constructive change.
  • I think we could save a lot of money on those cumbersome elections by amending the Constitution so that the President of Halliburton is also the President of the United States - thus skipping the middle man and passing the savings on to us. Oh, hell, why bother with that? Just kick the savings back to Halliburton.
  • Senators and Representatives are going to impeach someone for lying to the public? Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Resident Evil: Afterlife is a Go. ... Oh, be still, my beating heart.

"ROVE CAUGHT CHEATING IN WHITE HOUSE ETHICS CLASS" ... Top Aide Seen Looking at Cheney's Paper During Pop Quiz

First picture of Thomas Haden Church in Spiderman 3 ... Meh ...

French Army to Market "Ultimate Surrender" Video Game

Bush Proposes Faith-Based Firewalls for Government Computers

Listen to Police Scanner frequencies live (Many cities)

Arizona destroys UCLA.

  • Arizona came into the game 2-6. They even had an unheard-of losing record in non-conference games. All of a sudden they were up 52-7 against the undefeated Bruins. Er ... FORMERLY undefeated.

Yahoo Maps pranks Google

The trailer and a clip from Steve Martin's Shopgirl

Seven clips from Breakfast on Pluto (2005)

  • "A vibrant, picturesque new movie from Neil Jordan, the award winning director of "The Crying Game," "Interview with the Vampire," and "The End of the Affair.

    Set in the 1970's, "Breakfast on Pluto" follows the exploits of Patrick Braden (Murphy), an endearing, but deceptively tough young man. Abandoned as a baby in his small Irish hometown and aware from a very early age that he is different, Patrick survives this harsh environment with the aid of his wit and charm, plus a sweet refusal to let anyone and anything change who he is.

    Jordan weaves a wonderfully surreal and magical tale to bring us this funny, moving and poignant rites of passage account of a young man enduring the trials and tribulations he faces with a smile and unwavering faith in the inherent goodness in us all."

Four clips from Derailed, the thriller with Clive Owen and Jennifer Aniston

The trailer for Spielberg's Munich

  • "Three-time Academy Award-winning director-producer Steven Spielberg directs 'Munich,' a historical thriller set in the aftermath of the 1972 massacre of 11 Israeli athletes at the Munich Olympics.

    'Munich' recounts the dramatic story of the secret Israeli squad assigned to track down and assassinate 11 Palestinians believed to have planned the 1972 Munich massacre -- and the personal toll this mission of revenge takes on the team and the man who led it. Eric Bana (Troy) stars as the Mossad agent charged with leading the band of specialists brought together for this operation.

    Inspired by actual events, the narrative is based on a number of sources, including the recollections of some who participated in the events themselves. The script is the first feature film written by Tony Kushner, winner of the Pulitzer Prize, the Tony Award and many other awards for his epochal Broadway drama 'Angels in America' as well as its Emmy Award-winning adaptation for HBO. The film is produced by Kathleen Kennedy, Barry Mendel, Spielberg and Colin Wilson.

    The international cast also includes Daniel Craig ('Layer Cake'), Geoffrey Rush ('Shine'), Mathieu Kassovitz ('Birthday Girl'), Hanns Zischler ('Walk on Water') and Ciaran Hinds ('Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera'). "

The trailer from SOPHIE SCHOLL - THE FINAL DAYS

  • The true story of Germany's most famous anti-Nazi heroine is brought to thrilling life in the multi-award winning drama "Sophie Scholl: The Final Days". Germany's official Foreign Language Film selection for the 2005 Academy Awards, "Sophie Scholl" stars Julia Jentsch ("The Edukators") in a luminous performance as the young coed-turned-fearless activist. Armed with long-buried historical records of her incarceration, director Marc Rothemund expertly re-creates the last six days of Sophie Scholl's life: a heart-stopping journey from arrest to interrogation, trial and sentence.

    In 1943, as Hitler continues to wage war across Europe, a group of college students mount an underground resistance movement in Munich. Dedicated expressly to the downfall of the monolithic Third Reich war machine, they call themselves the White Rose. Its sole female member, Sophie Scholl is captured during a dangerous mission to distribute pamphlets on campus with her brother Hans. Unwavering in her convictions and loyalty to the White Rose, her cross-examination by the Gestapo quickly escalates into a searing test of wills as Scholl delivers a passionate call to freedom and personal responsibility that is both haunting and timeless.

    "Sophie Scholl" received three Lolas (German Oscars) including the Audience Award and Best Actress Award to Jentsch for her brilliant characterization of the title role. The film also won two Silver Bears for Best Director and Best Actress at the 2005 Berlin International Film Festival.

The trailer and traser for a Hong Kong crime film, SPL

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.



 

"Girl Meets Girl"

Girl Meets Girl (1974) is a Joe Sarno European production, produced by Chris D. Nebe and starring Marie Forsa. This is the second of three films by them. This time, Forsa plays Bibi, a sixteen year old temptress visiting her aunt. She end sup seducing each and every one of her aunt's friends and relatives, male and female. The entire 120 minutes is mostly girl/girl sex, punctuated with occasional dialogue, and boy/girl simulated sex.

This is a case of perfect casting, as Forsa was just as randy off the set and on, according to producer Nebe, who says just about everyone in the cast and crew enjoyed her, except Joe Sarno. He maintained a professional, respectful attitude, which is probably one of the reasons he gets such good performances from the women in his casts.

The girl/girl scenes were hot, but the boy/girl scenes were a little tepid. We have full frontal from Marie Forza, Birgit Zamula, Britt Corvin and several others I was not able to identify. Gisela Krauss also shows breasts.

It is listed at IMDb under its original European title of Baby Love, and is rated at 6.7. It is part of a Seduction Cinema three film set. I will be covering the other two films in the trilogy sooner or later. This is a C+. Joe made the films he did in Europe because he could push the sex and nudity envelope a little further than he could at home, and was in no danger of arrest for pandering, as he would have been in the states. This film enjoyed a long theatrical release, and did well. The transfer is not at all bad in most scenes.

Birgit Zamulo

Brit Corvin

Gisela Krauss

Marie Forsa

Various



 



Today from the Ghost...here is Adult film star Chloe gettin' it on in scenes from the softcore flick "Sex Surrogate" (2004).


Chloe



So today we return to "Embrace the Darkness 2" and wrap up the nudity in this little sex-vampire-horror movie.

First up is Jezebelle Bond. There is some explicit love making so you can play the little "Spot the Tool" game in this set.


Jezebelle Bond

Next is April Flowers giving it all up and in the last 2 caps she becomes a dead "Babe in Bondage".


April Flowers

Bringing up the "Rear" is sexy Katie Lohmann, and she gladly gives us all 3 B's as she plays with herself.


Katie Lohmann



'Caps and comments by Dann:

"Christina's House"

It seems like, with the popularity of the Internet, everyone's a film critic now. That's perfectly cool, since I usually find I disagree with most of the so-called professional critics anyhow, but it does bug me that some people seem to write reviews based on other reviews, without ever actually seeing the movie. I know that one guy, who thoroughly trashed this 1999 horror flick on IMDB, didn't bother to watch the movie. It was obvious from the review. Say whatever you feel, but at least have the courtesy to watch the damned thing.

This 1999 horror film is by no means perfect. Indeed, it's not even great, but it isn't all that bad either. A father, daughter, and son move into a rented house to be close to Mom, who has been committed to the local mental facility. Christina, the daughter, has an uneasy feeling as she keeps hearing strange noises, and has an almost constant feeling that she's being watched. Dad chalks the noises up to an old house that is "settling".

When two local teenagers suddenly vanish, the Sheriff visits the family and starts asking questions. It is a small town, so the strangers are natural suspects. This becomes even more true when a young girl's body is found in the creek right behind the house. Meanwhile, the noises get louder, Christina feels more and more like she is being watched, and Dad becomes strangely obsessive in his dislike for Christina's new boyfriend.

The plot is not new, the acting is adequate but not outstanding, but this is still a horror flick that is not unworth watching, at least before you criticize it. John Savage, who is normally a great character actor, was stiff and a bad fit for the Dad, but Allison Lange did a decent job as Christina. I personally didn't hate it.


Allison Lange Crystal Buble





From Marvin, master of all things Scandinavian, here is Suzanne Bjerrehuus plus an Unknown actress baring all 3 B's and having some mild lesbian fun in scenes from "I tyrens tegn" (1974).



From FOX's Sunday NFL coverage...here are Pam Anderson and Jillian Barberie, both wearing shirts and skirts that are at least one size too small. I am not complaining.



From Dragonscan, here is Gail Fitzpatrick squeezing a very large breast (and apparently milking herself) in a scene from "How Harry Became a Tree" (2001)