I suppose you probably know what this
is, unless you were just released from a maximum security prison where
you did all your time "in the box." If you want the details,
covered it comprehensively. The most
important fact for our purposes is that it's the movie which features
nudity from Anne Hathaway. Oh, yeah, and Bijou Phillips.
Here's my take on the latest images and vids
to hit the web. The commercial DVD comes out for Thanksgiving, in "R"
and "unrated" versions.
Cannes Man (1996):
Producer Sy Lerner has always been the biggest
bullshitter in an industry which prides itself on bullshit - the movie
business. One day, while idling around the Cannes Film Festival on
opening day, he boasts to a companion that he can take the first
schmuck who walks by and make him the talk of the festival, even
without any product to back the bullshit. The boast leads to a wager
in which the other bettor gets to pick the schmuck. It's an easy
choice. Sy's companion looks out toward the Mediterranean and sees a
doofy-lookin' guy wading in his street shoes. The Chosen One is Frank
Rhinoslavsky, a naive L.A. cab driver who happened to be in Cannes
because he was making a few extra bucks by acting as a courier for the
low budget group at Troma Pictures.
Sy then begins the process of promoting "Frank
Rhino" and his non-existent script, titled Cannes Man (Con Man), into
the greatest success story in the history of the festival. Frank gets
a new haircut and wardrobe, and is told to wave, smile, and keep
silent, while Sy does the promoting. It is not long before Sy actually
has people coming up to him and begging to be involved with the
project. Johnny Depp and Jim Jarmusch nearly end their friendship in
an argument over which of them will direct the non-existent film.
Despite a near-zero budget, this cynical movie
is fun to watch, if for no other reason than that it was really shot
at Cannes, and features dozens of major actors, directors, and
producers in cameo roles both scripted and improvised. Talk
about a big bang for the buck - it was made with very little money,
yet stars everyone in the industry! Better than the movie is an
interview with director Richard Martini, in which he explains how he
made the film with a combination of guile and balls. Martini and
Seymour Cassel (as Sy Lerner) were really the entire film. They simply
went up to various people and persuaded them to participate. Cassel
improvised most of his scenes within the basic framework, leading the
various volunteer stars through the paces. When Cassel was no longer
available, Martini took over. He simply made a small change in the
focus of the project, by adding a framing device in which the story
was being told after Sy's death, with people recalling his antics.
Martini went up to various showbiz types and asked them to tell their
funniest "Hollywood scumbag bullshitter" stories, simply substituting
the name Sy Lerner for the name of the real perpetrator. Almost
everyone signed a release agreeing that the film could use their
footage and their name in the cast. Virtually nobody read the release.
(Peter Gallagher was the only exception.) Since the film was made in
Europe, it was out of union jurisdiction, further simplifying matters.
Some people were tricked into participating. John Malkovich signed the
release and agreed to participate in a documentary about Cannes
without being informed that it was actually a "mockumentary." Once the
scene with Cassel began and Malkovich saw the handwriting on the wall,
he simply decided that it would be easier and a better public
relations move if he played along, so he had some fun with it.
Unfortunately, the only nudity comes from an
anonymous woman on the beach at Cannes.
Susan Sarandon recovering from near-fatal belly
Panthers cheerleaders reportedly arrested!: "Two
Carolina Panthers cheerleaders were arrested early
Sunday morning at a Tampa nightclub after an incident
that reportedly began with the two of them having sex"
... with each other!
Here's the Carolina Cheerleader story as reported by
Tampa Bay's 10 News. Looks like it includes the
two mug shots. (See links below for more details.)
Here is the official page for the other
Carolina Panthers cheerleader in the Tampa
altercation (Renee Thomas)
Here is the official page for one of the
Carolina Panthers cheerleaders in the Tampa
altercation (Angela Keathey)
"Terrell Owens will not play football for the
Philadelphia Eagles again." ... and this link is
from Philadephia's Channel 6 - the ABC affiliate.
Weekend Box Office Results, November 4-6, 2005
- Chicken Little and Jarhead exceeded
expectations, as did most carry-overs, but the
weekend was still 10% below last year, which was
buoyed by a mammoth ($70 million) debut from The
- Among carryovers, Prime was impressive, having
lost only 15% of its total from last weekend.
- Steve Martin's Shopgirl unexpectedly made the
top ten despite being on only 493 screens. It
averaged $5000 per screen (nearly doubling Zorro in
this category), lifting it to 9th overall.
"Zogby poll: Majority of likely voters support
considering impeachment if Bush lied on Iraq, 51-45
- Yesssssssssssss - it makes sense. Get the
President out of there and turn the country over to
Dick Cheney! Now that's constructive change.
- I think we could save a lot of money on those
cumbersome elections by amending the Constitution so
that the President of Halliburton is also the
President of the United States - thus skipping the
middle man and passing the savings on to us. Oh,
hell, why bother with that? Just kick the savings
back to Halliburton.
- Senators and Representatives are going to
impeach someone for lying to the public? Let he who
is without sin cast the first stone.
Resident Evil: Afterlife is a Go. ... Oh, be
still, my beating heart.
"ROVE CAUGHT CHEATING IN WHITE HOUSE ETHICS CLASS"
... Top Aide Seen Looking at Cheney's Paper During Pop
picture of Thomas Haden Church in Spiderman 3 ...
French Army to Market "Ultimate Surrender" Video Game
Bush Proposes Faith-Based Firewalls for Government
Listen to Police Scanner frequencies live (Many
Arizona destroys UCLA.
- Arizona came into the game 2-6. They even had an
unheard-of losing record in non-conference games.
All of a sudden they were up 52-7 against the
undefeated Bruins. Er ... FORMERLY undefeated.
Yahoo Maps pranks Google
The trailer and a clip from Steve Martin's Shopgirl
Seven clips from Breakfast on Pluto (2005)
- "A vibrant, picturesque new movie from Neil
Jordan, the award winning director of "The Crying
Game," "Interview with the Vampire," and "The End of
Set in the 1970's, "Breakfast on Pluto" follows
the exploits of Patrick Braden (Murphy), an
endearing, but deceptively tough young man.
Abandoned as a baby in his small Irish hometown and
aware from a very early age that he is different,
Patrick survives this harsh environment with the aid
of his wit and charm, plus a sweet refusal to let
anyone and anything change who he is.
Jordan weaves a wonderfully surreal and magical
tale to bring us this funny, moving and poignant
rites of passage account of a young man enduring the
trials and tribulations he faces with a smile and
unwavering faith in the inherent goodness in us
Four clips from Derailed, the thriller with Clive
Owen and Jennifer Aniston
The trailer for Spielberg's Munich
- "Three-time Academy Award-winning
director-producer Steven Spielberg directs 'Munich,'
a historical thriller set in the aftermath of the
1972 massacre of 11 Israeli athletes at the Munich
'Munich' recounts the dramatic story of the
secret Israeli squad assigned to track down and
assassinate 11 Palestinians believed to have planned
the 1972 Munich massacre -- and the personal toll
this mission of revenge takes on the team and the
man who led it. Eric Bana (Troy) stars as the Mossad
agent charged with leading the band of specialists
brought together for this operation.
Inspired by actual events, the narrative is based
on a number of sources, including the recollections
of some who participated in the events themselves.
The script is the first feature film written by Tony
Kushner, winner of the Pulitzer Prize, the Tony
Award and many other awards for his epochal Broadway
drama 'Angels in America' as well as its Emmy
Award-winning adaptation for HBO. The film is
produced by Kathleen Kennedy, Barry Mendel,
Spielberg and Colin Wilson.
The international cast also includes Daniel Craig
('Layer Cake'), Geoffrey Rush ('Shine'), Mathieu
Kassovitz ('Birthday Girl'), Hanns Zischler ('Walk
on Water') and Ciaran Hinds ('Andrew Lloyd Webber's
The Phantom of the Opera'). "
The trailer from SOPHIE SCHOLL - THE FINAL DAYS
- The true story of Germany's most famous
anti-Nazi heroine is brought to thrilling life in
the multi-award winning drama "Sophie Scholl: The
Final Days". Germany's official Foreign Language
Film selection for the 2005 Academy Awards, "Sophie
Scholl" stars Julia Jentsch ("The Edukators") in a
luminous performance as the young
coed-turned-fearless activist. Armed with
long-buried historical records of her incarceration,
director Marc Rothemund expertly re-creates the last
six days of Sophie Scholl's life: a heart-stopping
journey from arrest to interrogation, trial and
In 1943, as Hitler continues to wage war across
Europe, a group of college students mount an
underground resistance movement in Munich. Dedicated
expressly to the downfall of the monolithic Third
Reich war machine, they call themselves the White
Rose. Its sole female member, Sophie Scholl is
captured during a dangerous mission to distribute
pamphlets on campus with her brother Hans.
Unwavering in her convictions and loyalty to the
White Rose, her cross-examination by the Gestapo
quickly escalates into a searing test of wills as
Scholl delivers a passionate call to freedom and
personal responsibility that is both haunting and
"Sophie Scholl" received three Lolas (German
Oscars) including the Audience Award and Best
Actress Award to Jentsch for her brilliant
characterization of the title role. The film also
won two Silver Bears for Best Director and Best
Actress at the 2005 Berlin International Film
The trailer and traser for a Hong Kong crime film, SPL
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
"Girl Meets Girl"
Girl Meets Girl (1974) is a Joe Sarno European production, produced by Chris D. Nebe and starring Marie Forsa. This is the second of three films by them. This time, Forsa plays Bibi, a sixteen year old temptress visiting her aunt. She end sup seducing each and every one of her aunt's friends and relatives, male and female. The entire 120 minutes is mostly girl/girl sex, punctuated with occasional dialogue, and boy/girl simulated sex.
This is a case of perfect casting, as Forsa was just as randy off the set and on, according to producer Nebe, who says just about everyone in the cast and crew enjoyed her, except Joe Sarno. He maintained a professional, respectful attitude, which is probably one of the reasons he gets such good performances from the women in his casts.
The girl/girl scenes were hot, but the boy/girl scenes were a little tepid. We have full frontal from Marie Forza, Birgit Zamula, Britt Corvin and several others I was not able to identify. Gisela Krauss also shows breasts.
It is listed at IMDb under its original European title of Baby Love, and is rated at 6.7. It is part of a Seduction Cinema three film set. I will be covering the other two films in the trilogy sooner or later. This is a C+. Joe made the films he did in Europe because he could push the sex and nudity envelope a little further than he could at home, and was in no danger of arrest for pandering, as he would have been in the states. This film enjoyed a long theatrical release, and did well. The transfer is not at all bad in most scenes.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
It seems like, with the popularity of the Internet, everyone's a film critic now. That's perfectly cool, since I usually find I disagree with most of the so-called professional critics anyhow, but it does bug me that some people seem to write reviews based on other reviews, without ever actually seeing the movie. I know that one guy, who thoroughly trashed this 1999 horror flick on IMDB, didn't bother to watch the movie. It was obvious from the review. Say whatever you feel, but at least have the courtesy to watch the damned thing.
This 1999 horror film is by no means perfect. Indeed, it's not even great, but it isn't all that bad either. A father, daughter, and son move into a rented house to be close to Mom, who has been committed to the local mental facility. Christina, the daughter, has an uneasy feeling as she keeps hearing strange noises, and has an almost constant feeling that she's being watched. Dad chalks the noises up to an old house that is "settling".
When two local teenagers suddenly vanish, the Sheriff visits the family and starts asking questions. It is a small town, so the strangers are natural suspects. This becomes even more true when a young girl's body is found in the creek right behind the house. Meanwhile, the noises get louder, Christina feels more and more like she is being watched, and Dad becomes strangely obsessive in his dislike for Christina's new boyfriend.
The plot is not new, the acting is adequate but not outstanding, but this is still a horror flick that is not unworth watching, at least before you criticize it. John Savage, who is normally a great character actor, was stiff and a bad fit for the Dad, but Allison Lange did a decent job as Christina. I personally didn't hate it.