Tuesday


Notes
NOTE TO ALL: Scoopy Jr writes the bulk of the commentary these days, while Uncle Scoopy continues to add his daily column, Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net

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Tuna
"The Gingerbread Man" (1998)

The Gingerbread Man (1998) is based on a novel by John Grisham, so you automatically know it is about a lawyer, who will not be practicing law by the end of the film. In this darkly lit thriller, a lawyer is led astray by a married woman because he thinks with his little head (sound somewhat familiar?). Darkly lit films are one of my pet peeves, and this one was hard to see. Kenneth Branagh as the lawyer pikes up a woman after a party, spends the night with her, then agrees to have her eccentric father committed pro bono. The father, who is part of a non-religious, non-political splinter group, escapes, and Branagh fears reprisal against his kids. The woman who leads him astray is played by Embeth Davidtz, who shows us full frontal from behind a beaded curtain.

Maltin was unimpressed at 2 stars, while Berardinelli gave it three, mainly based on the characters and performances. I agree with Maltin -- this Grisham formula film is not bad, it just isn't anything special.

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  • Embeth Davidtz (1, 2, 3, 4)

    "Moonraker" (1979)

    Moonraker (1979) featured Roger Moore as Bond in his 4th outing, and he had it down pretty well. With a space theme, which capitalized on the popularity of Star Wars, Moonraker became the largest grossing Bond film to date. As the film opens, the bad guy (Drax) steals a space shuttle (Moonraker), and Bond is sent to find it. The chase leads him to California, Venice, Brazil, and finally outer space. Along the way, he encounters several barely dressed women, and beds more than his share. This film also sees the return of Jaws as a villain, although he falls in love and mellows by the end of the film. Although there is no actual exposure, there were four women worth capturing, and several Unknowns.

    Berardinelli gives this one 3 stars, while Maltin saw it as 2. IMDB readers have it at 5.8/10, which is low in my opinion. Made for $34m, it grossed $202.7m worldwide. The action sequences are very well done, and it was nominated for a special effects Oscar.

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  • LoisChiles (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
  • Blanche Ravalec (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Corinne Clery (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Emily Bolton (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4)

    A few words from Jr:
    I don't usually add comments to Tuna's or Johnny Web's reviews, but of particular interest regarding "Moonraker" for the younger dudes....While there is no "Mini-me" in the Bond film, "Moonraker" was the main influence for the final 1/3 of "Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me". Plus, it also features the second best Bond Babe name..."Holly Goodhead". (The best of course is "Pussy Galore" from "Goldfinger".)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Today's reviews are located here:

  • Waking the Dead, the movie made especially for Crudup and Connolly to look into the camera. Well, they might be one of the best-looking couples ever, but .....

  • Velvet Goldmine, kind of a roman-a-clef about the rise and fall of Ziggy Stardust. Strange movie. Very arty structure, which causes it some problems.

  • TomCat did three Catherine Deneuve films: Belle du Jour, Liza, and Le Sauvage. We've all seen Sauvage and Belle before, from Scanman and PAL and others, but this is the first time I've seen Marco Ferreri's "Liza:. The quality of the broadcast wasn't very good, but it's Catherine Deneuve. Boy, do I wish I had a DVD of this one. Deneuve looked the best I've ever seen her, and that's pretty much as good as any woman who's ever trod these boards. Thanks to TomCat for this great series.

    If you skip the words, the captures are here:

  • Toni Collette, "Velvet Goldmine" (1, 2, 3)
  • Jennifer Connolly, "Waking the Dead" (deleted scenes) (1, 2)
  • Jennifer Connolly, "Waking the Dead" (1, 2, 3)
  • Catherine Deneuve, "Belle du Jour" (1, 2, 3)
  • Catherine Deneuve, "Liza" (1, 2, 3)
  • Catherine Deneuve, "Le Sauvage" (1, 2)
  • Brainscan
    Krista Allen
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
    Just when you thought it was safe to go online....My apologies to Brainscan and to the Fun House visitors...These scans of the current "Baywatch Hawaii" babe, and former Emmanuelle should have been in yesterdays edition. However, the email gods have decided that instead of delivering all of the pics as they were sent, a good chunk of data was lost along the way and all I ended up with was a ton of nothin'.

    As if that wasn't enough...the same thing happened again today! Grrrrrrr! As always, I think it's a conspiracy! Yup! The folks who control the bandwidth know that there are cheaper and more efficient ways of distributing packets across networks, servers, nodes, etc. But naturally, they don't want to make it more efficient (or at least don't want to tell us that they have already made it more efficient) because then they can't mark up their usage charges as much!

    So where is the conspiracy Jr?....Well, in order to "prove" to customers how much their bandwidth is in demand...the companies that provides bandwidth (we'll call them "Megawidth") have robot programs that randomly surf the networks looking for large shipments of packets (like many images attached to an email). The robot then intercepts the email, and eats part of packets...just enough so that the email recipient doesn't get the full image(s).

    What happens is that the sender uses X amount of bandwidth, the recipient uses X-the eaten amount, and then the user and recipient have to re-send and re-download. Perhaps multiple times depending on the robot.

    In essence each "Megawidth" company can now count what should've been a single email at least 2,3,4 times or more. And therefore increase their rates due to "high demand" which they completely fabricate themselves!

    Or something like that. I probably need to lay off the Oliver Stone movies for little while. Or maybe that's exactly what they want me to do! (insert cliched paranoid revelation music on 3...1, 2, 3...dum, dum, dum)

    and ...
    Jeri Ryan And the winner is....Akira and RJL! An excellent rare find! The comments by Akira explain everything:

    First, thank RJL for the existence of these caps! This Jeri on a episode of "Who's the Boss" from 1991. Sometime between then and Voyager, something changed. She was 23 when the episode was shot. I think we can rule out a 'growth-spurt'. She had a son in 1995. That could change her body. (but only her chest changed. She still has no hips and a great waist)

    Then there is the easy way that costs money....

    Now, don't get me wrong, I love her just as much as the next guy. I was just amazed when I saw this video and had to share!

    Gisle Bunchen The supermodel flavor of the month almost showing some nipple exposure. A great teaser scan. Personally I'm just happy that boobs are back in style in the fashion world. I was getting really tired of the annorexic-prison-camp look.
    Geena Davis Wearing an extremely see-thru dress outside of the "It's Sunday on ABC, we can't beat Fox in the ratings so let's have an Awards Show" Awards. Thanks to HBS.
    Arianne Brown
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
    9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
    That's it! Time to move to Spain! As if PenÚlope Cruz wasn't a good enough reason already...here is even more fantastic "paparazzi-celebs-on-the-beach-nudity"! As a bonus, #4, 5, 8, 9, 10, 11, 13 and 14 feature full frontal nudity!
    Maria Schneider
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
    9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
    A whole mess-o-caps by UC99 from "Last Tango in Paris". Oddly enough, despite the fact that Scoop has spoken highly of this movie, that critics often refer to this as Brando's best, and the fact that I will watch pretty much anything if it has nudity in it...believe it or not, I've never seen this movie! I guess I'll get to it eventually.
    Shari Shattuck
    (1, 2, 3, 4)
    I mentioned Shari about 2 months ago as being one of the better, yet unknown B-movie actresses. She's blonde, has bigguns (not all-natural, but still nice), and wasn't that bad of an actress. But it seems that she's turned in her SAG card for a "World's Greatest Mom" coffee mug with matching mini-van. Vidcaps of Shari in her prime from the straight-to movie "Dead On".
    Kelly Brook
    (1, 2, 3)
    I'm pretty sure all of these have graced the pages of at least one or two editions of the Fun House, but....Hey, when a model is this hot, and the scans are this good, why not take a second look?
    Pam Anderson
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    Pam showing off the goods in 'caps from "Barb Wire". I started to giggle like Homer Simpson when I first saw these (tee-hee!). It's been so long, that I kinda forgot how silly the whole thing was.

    "Barb" has to be one of the worst movies ever made...So I decided to check out the IMDb for some stats to back that up....

    Rating 3.3 with 1,793 votes! The IMDb staff offered the highest rating of 4.7, followed by men over 45 giving it a 4.1!

    As a reference, here are some other titles with a 3.3:
    "Gator Bait" (1976)...The Steve Guttenberg movie "Airborne" (1998)..."Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold" (1987)-A contender for the worst movie ever!..."Big Bad Mama II" (1987)...about a dozen movies with the word "Bikini" in the title...you get the idea.

    Dalila di Lazzaro
    (1, 2)
    New from Scanman: two collages of topless exposure from the 1980 movie, "Trois hommes Ó abattre".
    Jasmin Tabatabai
    (1, 2, 3)
    Scans by Blackshine.
    The Funnies
    An elderly Italian man asked the local priest to hear his confession "Father, during World War 2 a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. I hid her in my attic and they never found her."

    The priest replied: "that was a wonderful thing you did, my son and you have no need to confess."

    It's worse father. I was weak and told her she must repay me with her sexual favours."

    "You were both in great danger and would have suffered terribly if the Germans had found her. Heaven, in its wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and evil, and judge you kindly. You are forgiven."

    "Thank you, father. That's a great load off my mind. But I have one more question."

    "And what is that?"

    "Should I tell her the war is over."


    Click Here!