Sunday

Mailbox:

Scoopy,

I read with interest the copy on Performance, by Carausius.  My Hollywood friends say these things happen more often than we know. Regardless of how often they happen, when the subject comes up, the most popular subjects for gossip in the industry are these four:

 

1.            The Mickster and his squeeze at the time, Carre Otis, in Wild Orchid.  This is the big one.  According to witnesses the two simply got it on.  They have also said that it went on for a long time, to the point that crew members got tired of watching and walked away, one by one.  This version of the event has endured the test of time.  Iíve read that both Mickey Rourke and Carre Otis have acknowledged it.  The gossipers give all this a 99% chance of being true.

 

2.            Kim Basinger and Eric Baldwin in The Getaway.  They were a new couple at the time and crew members have said that the two got in on in the famous scene.  It looks like he was close to down on her in the released version and, it is said, when she reaches back in the scene to replace the exited member, it really happened.  Maybe not.  The gossipers give this one a 70%.

 

3.             Anne Heche and Joan Chen in Wild Side.  During the filming, it is said, the ladies did more with their hands, etc., than the director asked for.  It looks real.  This is given around an 80% chance of being true.

 

4.             Then there is Monsterís Ball.  Some awfully good acting in this if the deed wasnít being done.  It may be just rumor that Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton got it on.  Your choice, but the wags like it.

 

This brings up a related subject.  What happens to outtakes from close, but not quite, explicit nudity?

 I remember in the late sixties, or maybe it was early seventies, there was some scandal about directors showing, at private parties, revealing outtakes of big name actresses.  (They were actresses in those days, not actors.)  Directors were even accused of not quite getting the vase of flowers or the stair railing in quite the right place on purpose so that they would have something unusual for their private collections. 

For example:  What happened to the outtakes of Katherine Ross from They Only Kill Their Masters?  In one scene, she rises from the bed nude, walks the full length of the bed, dragging a sheet.  The sheet is clasped in front of her, drags loosely down her side and behind her, revealing a bare back, her lumbar and the start of her butt.  It had to be just right and they must have finally gotten it right after several takes.  What happened to the outtakes?  They were surely viewed in the dailies, and then what? 

The sixties scandal was quickly quieted by the industry.  Itís hard to imagine Hollywood not wanting publicity, but the one bit of infamy they donít want is headlines about non-professionalism.  The act of showing unusual film at private soirees must have violated several guild by-laws to say nothing of a few right to privacy laws and actorsí contracts.  In any event, the matter was settled quickly without much publicity.  And the directors responsible were probably shunned for some time or at least mistrusted. 

As in the aftermath of most scandals, Iím guessing a lot of steps have been taken to ensure integrity. 

Which begs the question:  What is happening to todayís outtakes?  Is there a set procedure, or is it just huckelty buck?  I would suppose that by now those things are tightly supervised, but by whom?  Anyone know?  Maybe a representative of the actor involved?  Anyone else?  If the rep is there, Iím guessing the director would have to give up all the rejected film to the rep or whomever.  Then what do they do with it?  How is the star, and/or others, sure the bunch of celluloid contains all the throwaways?  After all, it wonít be decided whatís to be used in the film until the principal editing some weeks after shooting.  Itís going to pass through a lot of hands. 

Wow, what a black market possibility here, already done to some degree, of course.  In any case, Iím sure there are little private collections here and there.  The stars themselves probably have a treasure trove of their own stuff.  How would you like to see Nicole Kidmanís collection? 

Silver Dollar Sam


Le Pornographe (2001):

This is the story of Jacques, once the world's greatest pornographer, but retired for two decades and living idly off the income of his architect wife. Suddenly he needs money again, so he decides to go back into the porno biz. Sadly, the industry has passed him by. He intends to make a neo-realistic porn film with muted moaning, no blatant dirty talk, no fingernail polish, and no lurid close-ups. His producer watches a few minutes of the porno film being created, studies the elderly director's lack of involvement, then takes over the direction himself.

Jacques then quits, of course, and bemoans the fact that an industry which once represented rebellion and artistic freedom to him and his friends has degenerated to the point of cookie-cooker commercialization. That's only the beginning of his troubles. His son walked out of his life when he found out about the whole pornography thing, and they are trying to reconcile. Jacques is not doing especially well with his son, and he also manages to alienate his faithful wife and to push away his loyal best friend as well, finally choosing to spend his time in a room alone, writing down his thoughts and navel-gazing about his insignificant place in a vast and meaningless universe, until madness completely overtakes him.

So Le Pornographe is basically Boogie Nights, as reimagined by Dostoevsky and directed by Ingmar Bergman. People staring off into the middle distance. People sitting silently with shoulders hunched in defeat. Somber classical music. One stagy tableaux after another.

I suppose that in addition to being about the way pornography has changed since the idealistic seventies, Le Pornographe is also about the changes in the French film industry, and films in general since that ambitious and individualistic era. Not to mention sex, personal craftsmanship, rock and roll, politics, the environment and anything else you would care to append to the metaphor.

Unlike Boogie Nights, The Pornographer does include explicit sex. In the scene where the producer takes over the sex film's direction from Jacques, we see a porn actress on the receiving end of some thrusting from a well-endowed fellow, and then accepting the traditional faceful of happy juice. The porn actress in the film-within-a-film is played by a real porn actress named Ovidie. Although the film shows penetration, there are no good looks at any of Ovidie's naughty bits except during the ol' in-out.

 
Ovidie


No Small Affair (1984):

Brainscan and Tuna disagreed strongly on No Small Affair. Tuna rather liked it, while Brainscan took a major dump on its face. It seems to me that this film is too inconsequential to spend much time on, but I thought it was decent. The great weakness of the film is that it's a romance in which the relationship of the two partners is utterly unconvincing. (Not to mention statutory rape, but they ignored such details back in the 80s.) That fact alone should render the film unwatchable, but it really doesn't. No Small Affair actually a decent way to pass the time if you like adolescent angst movies. If you don't like such movies, you should not make any effort to see it, but if someone forces you to sit through it, it probably won't be as bad an experience for you as it was for Brainscan ...

unless ...

 ... you are allergic to one or both of the two things that could irritate the hell out of you.

1. Jon Cryer. In general, I sympathize full well with what Brainscan wrote about Cryer, the perennially unfunny Matthew Broderick impersonator, but Cryer didn't bother me in this film. I'd say this is his most engaging performance. Cryer's biggest problem has always been that he tries too hard to be funny, and that can be painful to watch, but in this film he just sort of blended into the woodwork, played his part, trusted the material, and let the director focus on the better elements of the film.

2. Elevator music. Chrissy Faith provided some excellent saloon singing as Demi Moore's voice double. There are a lot of mellow "easy listening" vocals in this movie ("My Funny Valentine," e.g.). I mean a lot. Many minutes. Songs sung all the way through. The movie will therefore grate on you if you are one of the many who hate elevator-in-waiting music. Again, this didn't bother me. I liked Chrissy's vocals. There are also the inevitable musical montages, but I fast-forwarded through them.

The director of this film was Jerry Schatzberg, who was much better known for seventies-era dramas replete with social consciousness, like Scarecrow and Panic in Needle Park. There must be an interesting story behind his migration from serious Pacino films to fluff like this, but I don't know it. Maybe he was just leaving the narrow current of the seventies and swimming out into the open sea of the eighties, like the rest of us.

Overall, I have to side with Tuna in this debate. I have no enthusiasm for this minor movie, but watching it wasn't an awful way to pass the time.

Judith Baldwin

Demi Moore


Other Crap:

The director of Rome is accusing the BBC of sensationalising his work by over-playing the sex and violence and cutting out key political narrative. Because you just can't get enough 2000 year old political narrative!

(NOTE: the Brits cut episodes 1-3 down to two episodes, while HBO showed it uncut.)

"Jennifer Garner (to be) Naked In Erotic Thriller" ... I'll believe this when I see it.

  • By the way, what is wrong with this sentence: "Jennifer Gartner recently signed a contract to play in Disney's erotic thriller "Sabbatical."
  • Well ... besides the fact that her name is not "Gartner"
  • I don't know about you, but when I think of erotic thrillers, I immediately think of Disney. What do you think Mr Toad's wild ride REALLY was? He was merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily on his way. How do you think he got so fucking merry?

You may want to scratch Somalia off your vacation destinations: "Pirate Attack Repelled by Cruise Ship Crew"

Celebrity Double Jeopardy: Beatty Tries to Crash Schwarzenegger Rally

Baylor hangs tough in 0-62 defeat.

Oklahoma high school cagers lose 112-2 (and with a constantly running clock in the second half!). "Hey, dad, the good news is that I was the team's second highest scorer tonight, only two points out of the lead. The bad news is that I didn't play."

Is there really any difference between Mountain Dew, Mountain Breeze, and Mountain Edge?

Additional nudity from: Anne Hathaway and Bijou Phillips in Havoc

Kind of interesting. The following is a quote from the Vice-President of the United States:

  • "Heís already demonstrated a willingness to use these weapons. He poison-gassed his own people. He used poison gas and other weapons of mass destruction. This man has no compunction about killing lots and lots of people. So this is a way to save lives and to save the stability and peace of a region of the world that is important to the peace and security of the entire world."
  • So why did I link to this humorless, boring, blatantly political and generally strident article? Well, the trick is that I didn't say WHICH vice-president.

The world's largest employer asked nine economists to assess its effect on the economy. Today, at a conference organized by Wal-Mart, they'll respond.

"Denver Is First City to Legalize Small Amount of Pot" ... The significance of this has been widely misinterpreted and misreported.

  • First of all, Denver police ordinarily cite offenders under state law rather than city ordinance. (98% of marijuana citations in the city are under state law.) The state law is pre-printed on the front of tickets, so just by checking a box an officer can issue a fine for as much as $200. To use the repealed city ordinance, an officer would have to write out the relevant code by hand. "Citing under state law has been a tradition here for years. We intend to keep doing what we've been doing," said David W. Broadwell, an assistant city attorney.
  • However, the repeal of the city ordinance is not meaningless. The repealed ordinance was stricter than the state law, and carried a maximum penalty of a year in jail, so the maximum penalty for possession of small amounts of marijuana in Denver has been effectively reduced to a $200 fine - as per the state law. Before the recent referendum, somebody could in theory have gone to jail for that same act, if the arresting officer was in a particularly ornery mood. Although the Denver city attorney's office prosecuted 1,565 people last year under state law, the city also prosecuted 36 adults last year for marijuana possession under the city ordinance. Obviously, the earlier repeal of the ordinance would have affected those 36 people.
  • Here is the Denver Post's take on this matter.


 

Insert predictable "Mile High City" comment here.

Daily Box Office - Friday, November 4, 2005

  • Jarhead exceeded expectations with a ten million dollar opening day. It was in a virtual tie with Chicken Little for the #1 spot.
  • (Of course, the kid's movie should do relatively better on Saturday and Sunday)
  • Shopgirl and Good Night and Good Luck made the top ten.

This is a real story: Mystery radio signal keeps Canadian cars in their garages. And America is to blame!

More details on Clobberin' Clooney and his London Street Brawl

Charlie Sheen, Denise Richards Rekindle Romance

"A study of the effects of peyote on American Indians found no evidence that the hallucinogenic cactus caused brain damage or psychological problems."

  • Dude, just call me Typing Bear.
  • They take in the peyote as a religious sacrament. They consider it to be the body and blood of Hunter Thompson

Sex-and-drugs royal romp to hit British TV screens

  • Lord Antony Snowdon, 75, is alive and reportedly "incandescent with rage" over the drama.

Maradona says Bush is 'human rubbish'

  • I don't expect anyone to believe that - unless they see the DNA tests proving he's human.
  • Y'know, for a drug-crazed guy with a negative IQ, Maradona is amazingly perceptive!

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.



 

"Frankie and Johnnie ... Were Lovers" (1975)

I am sure all of your are familiar with the song, Frankie and Johnnie. Perhaps you don't know the story behind it. Frankie caught her pimp, Albert, cheating on her with Alice Bligh, and blew him away. The song grew up amongst the working girls in New Orleans. A record producer from Tin Pan Alley heard it, cleaned up the lyrics, changed Albert to Johhnie, and got rich from it. An example of the original lyrics will give you the flavor of the song.

Frankie stood up in the courtroom Said I ain't tellin' no sass I didn't shoot Albert in the first degree I shot him in his big black ass. He was my man, God Damn his soul.

This film is a retelling of the story, but, rather than moving more towards the source material, it went the other direction, turning Frankie (Rene Bond) into a famous singer, Albert into a wannabe race car designer, and Alice (Cyndee Summers) into her best friend. Johnnie meets a tragic end, but not in a very believable way. Much of the film is flashback, making it sometimes hard to follow. It wasn't hard to follow the frequent full frontal and rear nudity from Rene Bond and Cyndee Summers.

6 IMDb readers have this at 6.9, rather high for an exploitation film. The transfer is amazingly good for a film of this age. This is Bond in her prime. Be sure to notice the extreme 70s eye makeup. I was not able to tell for sure of Bond did her own singing. IF you enjoy exploitation, you will want to see this one. C+.

Cyndee Summers

Rene Bond



 



Today from the Ghost...here is a very fit Tina Leiu showing off her robo-goodies, her bum and yes, just a hint of pubes in scenes from an episode of the the late night cable series "Hotel Erotica".


Tina Leiu



Today a flick called "Embrace the Darkness 2". This one is a horror/vampire/ sex film. The second installment of a trilogy. I guess they couldn't decide what kind of movie they wanted to make so just threw in a little bit of everything. The star of this little opus is Renee Rae and don't get too much of a woodie cause she's a Vampire.

So here's a whole bunch of caps of the lovely Renee in various scenes and at some point you pretty much get to see all of her gorgeous bod.


Renee Rea



'Caps and comments by Spaz:

"Devour" (2005)

Another American horror filmed in Canada.

Dominique Swain:
see through shirt and upskirt after some fully clothed
Jenn Griffin:
dorsal nudity
Noelle Reno:
topless sex scene




"Ice Queen" (2005)

Low budget horror filmed in Vermont. Jennifer Hill's robo-hooters providing most of the Canadian content

Jennifer Hill:
wet t-shirt and robohooters
Ami Chorlton:
nude but she may be Kerrin Jeromin credited as the Ice Queen double
wet t-shirt babes:
Erika Wakker, Nicole Dolphin, Jillian Toto, Katlin I. Dow




"The Operative" (2000)

Spy movie from the makers involved in some of the early Lloyd Simandl czechploitation flicks. Rated R for a "strong sex scene" although was no nudity. What the MPAA knitting club objected to was when the guy went down on the actress even though it was shown on a b&w security monitor.

Rachel Hayward:
fully clothed sex




"The L Word" season II: episode Land Ahoy

Something you don't see every day. Lesbian cello players.

Amy Ziff:
cellist with big boobs
Katy Selverstone:
cleavage stroking Amy's strings




"Dead Man's Gun" episode The Fortune Teller

Unfortunately the female nudity is blocked by the guy's bare ass.

Heather Hanson:
sort of nude




"Bopy & Soul"

From the episode "Graveyard Shift"

Larissa Laskin:
cleavage in leotards
Tara Rosling:
doing the tango in her skivvies




"Midnight Matinee" (1990)

The b-movie actress has been identified as former MuchMusic VJ Angela Dohmann.

Angela Dohrmann:
boob and butt




Bonus

In addition to being a stunt double, C.J. Fider aka Cindy Fidler also booby doubled for Christina Cox in a couple movies back in 1995.

"Street Law":
boob and butt
"The Donor":
boob and butt






Here is a sneak preview of more scenes from "Havoc". Here we have Anne Hathaway and Bijou Phillips topless! Look for it on DVD November 29!



Anne Hathaway


Bijou Phillips