Spanish Fly (1998) is a Spanish drama/romantic comedy written and directed by, and staring Daphna Kastner. It was not well received anywhere, and most reviewers point to her choice to cast herself in the lead and the thing that sunk the film. I kind of enjoyed the film, and liked and believed her character, which probably accounts for my enjoyment of the film.
Kastner is in Spain to write a book about Spanish machismo, after a short article on the subject was a success. She arrives to research without knowing the language, and far from a relationship expert. She doesn't get along with her mother, is hung up because her father abandoned them, and has had nothing but bad relationships with men, as she kept choosing the wrong men. Enter her new interpreter, Toni Canto. They fight like cats and dogs at first, a sure sign that they are destined to end up together. She eventually learns the truth about her father, and finds herself.
Kastner shows one breast in bed . IMDb readers have this at 4.8 of 10. Critics panned it horribly. I sort fo enjoyed it, because I enjoyed her. Everyone agrees that it is well shot, and gives the flavor and excitement of Spain. This is a C-.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Mailbox - a challenge:
The Machinist (2004):
Critical opinion was sharply divided on The Machinist.
The reviews generally focused on some combination of these four things:
1) A brilliant performance by the 190 pound Brit
Christian Bale as a 130 pound American. Bale looked frighteningly
skeletal. He's is a good actor to begin with, he's very good with
accents, and he actually lost 63 pounds on a daily diet which
consisted of one can of tuna and one apple.
2) Plot similarities to Memento and Fight Club
3) Explicit ugliness and gore. The Philadelphia Daily
News said, "The
movie is ingeniously designed. It is also repulsive and I wish I
hadn't seen it."
4) The fact that the double secret probationary
ending was too obviously foreshadowed and/or revealed earlier in the film
There's plenty of truth in all three of those
statements. I did catch on to the secret (or at least a big chunk of
it) early in the film, but that
didn't keep me from enjoying the way in which it was revealed. In
fact, when I looked back on the film, I felt that the film's author had
done quite a clever job at showing how the machinist's
insane delusions reflected the horrible secret he was running from.
The machinist, you see, is a man who has not slept in
a year, and his mind is disappearing as fast as his body. His lack of sleep also makes
him dangerous on the road and on a job filled with enormous
machines. His life is unraveling. We
know that there must be something that happened a year ago to start
this snowball down the hill, but we don't know what it is. We are
allowed looks into his subconscious in the form of his delusions,
and within those imaginary episodes are clues to the events which
precipitated his instability. We can't see everything clearly. The mystery is shrouded by
the fact that we are trapped in his point of view, and don't really
know when he's thinking clearly and when he's deluded.
The one part of the film that seemed clumsy to me was
"Ivan", an imaginary person seen only by the Machinist. As many
reviewers noted, that portion of the secret was obvious, a bit
clumsy, and quite derivative of Fight Club. On the other hand, the
identity of "Ivan" was only part of the mystery, and I thought the
rest of the details were handled quite cleverly.
The director, the cinematographer, and the composer
also managed to do an excellent job on the look and tone of the
film, allowing the audience to share the machinist's delusional
world, allowing the audience to understand more about the delusion
than the machinist himself, yet never fully pulling away the veil of
madness so that the mystery could unravel.
It is an interesting story, and is performed
well, especially by Bale, Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Michael Ironside.
Of course, it's a cult film for lovers of dark psychological
mysteries, and it may stretch a thin premise out a bit too long, but
it's a keeper. If you are curious about it, bear in mind that it's a grim and depressing movie, and is
certainly not a wide-audience popcorn kind of experience. In fact,
it is fundamentally a very arty episode of The Twilight Zone stretched to
feature length, or rather it's the kind of thing Serling and
Hitchcock would be doing today, given the current levels of screen
explicitness which those two men never knew.
This film is not as good as Fight Club, nor as original as Memento,
but overall I admired it, and was quite solidly hooked into the
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues
I have been wondering for two days if there was
anything nice I can say about Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, and I
just keep running into dead ends. I could say that it has a pretty
good cast in a film made by a good director (Gus van Sant) from a
novel by a respected author (Tom Robbins), but that would not really
be a compliment at all, would it? It would just raise the question
of "how did all that result in such a complete waste of time and
eight million dollars?"
I just don't know the answer to that question.
I could point to an egregiously bad performance from
Rain Phoenix, who managed to get none of the looks nor any of the
talent in her family gene pool. It doesn't seem possible to imagine
a movie in which Angie Dickinson, Buck Henry and Udo Kier all appear, yet
none is the worst actor in the film. (Although God knows they
tried.) You need to imagine no
longer That seeming impossibility takes shape right here. According
to her biographers, Rain Phoenix can sing any kind of music and has
even studied opera. Apparently all that musical education left her
without the time for acting classes.
I could cite the fact that the film is weird and
eccentric just for the sake of weirdness and eccentricity. Somebody
needs to tell the people who made this film that weirdness and
eccentricity are not, in and of themselves, valuable or
entertaining. Several actors embarrass themselves in this film. John
Hurt wears lipstick and whiteface throughout the film, as a queen
whose advertising agency specializes in products deodorizing women.
To imagine what he looks like, picture The Joker, then replace all
the green with red. Lorraine Bracco plays a whip-cracking lesbian cowgirl with a
foul-smelling crotch. Mr. Myagi plays some kind of a
mountain-dwelling guru named The Chink. Uma Thurman plays a woman
with giant thumbs which look so fake that she simply seems to be
wearing gloves. Keanu Reeves plays an asthmatic Native American who
seems to be wearing Doc Severinsen's hand-me-downs. Roseanne Barr is
on hand as a fortune teller. Several familiar faces appear in crowd
shots, yet have no lines (Edward James Olmos, Heather Graham, River
Phoenix). I think I can summarize this point by saying that Carol Kane and
Crispin Glover are in this film and, compared to the rest of the
cast, they provide a fresh breath of down-home normality.
As for the dialogue, James Berardinelli summed it up eloquently: "The dialogue, especially the Tom
Robbins-supplied voiceovers, is grating. There's too much pretension
and posturing here, and a typical conversation consists of
characters trying to one-up each other in the number of meaningless
profundities they can spew."
The book was written in the hippie era, and the ideas were never
updated to reflect the advancement of ideas past that point. As a
result, the script was referencing some ideas and mocking other
ideas that, for the most part, no longer existed.
Those factors all contributed to the problem, but I
don't think those bullet points are ultimately capable of explaining
the abysmal depth of the sucking done by this film.
I think that there are just some kinds of writers
whose work doesn't translate well to the screen.
The guys whose books do work on screen, like Mario
Puzo, fill their pages with juicy sex, gossipy details, lurid
violence, and hard-driving plot. One reads their books for their
plots and characters. The authors' own voices are virtually absent
from their books.
On the other side of the fence, men like Tom Robbins,
Kurt Vonnegut, Fred Exley, Vladimir Nabokov, and William Thackeray
write books where the author's voice is ubiquitous. Reading their
books is an encounter with their minds and their techniques, not
with their plots or characters. On paper, the fact that they embrace
the eccentric and cherish the outré seems gentle, charmingly dotty
and life-embracing. Their cynicism toward the bourgeoisie seems arch
and insightful. None of that works in movies. Those authors just
seem to come off as weird, naive, catty, unsophisticated, and
possibly even mad. (Excepting Kubrick's films, of course. He did a
great job at catching Thackeray's exact tone in Barry Lyndon, and he
did well with the comical elements of Nabokov's Lolita, although not
so well with the greater complexities of the story.)
I have all but abandoned hope that we will ever see a
great interpretation of a Vonnegut film. The Slaughterhouse Five and
Mother Night films, although flawed, seem to be the best we will
ever get. After the raw sewage that was Breakfast of Champions, we
may not see any filmmaker try Vonnegut again for a long time. After
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, a movie that makes Breakfast of
Champions seem in comparison to be The Godfather, Part 2, Tom
Robbins may never get another chance at a cinema legacy. That's
something of a shame, because his books, including this book, are
fun to read, if anyone could figure out how to translate that fun to
The studio knew how bad this film was. Horrified by
the screenings, and then by the audience reaction at the Toronto Festival,
they asked Van Sant to re-cut it. The release, originally scheduled
for 1991, was postponed and delayed until 1993, at which time it was snuck
it into a minimal distribution schedule, where it grossed between
one and two million dollars and quickly disappeared.
Two new clips from The Woodsman. This is the
controversial film in which Kevin Bacon plays a pedophile who
attempts to start a new life in his home town after 12 years in
Ten new clips from After the Sunset, the caper film
with Pierce Brosnan and Salma Hayek.
Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote 'The Hokey Pokey', died
peacefully at age 83. The most difficult job was the
undertaker's role in placing LaPrise in the coffin. He put his
left leg in, he took his left leg out ...
- Actually, Mr LaPrise died in April of 1996, but it was a
- A headline-writer's dream assignment:
"Sarasota man arrested in death of Elvis". Elvis is ...
Here are about a bazillion high quality pictures of Tara Reid's
store-bought breast falling out completely at P-Diddy's party.
Pere Lachaise cemetery in Paris has fenced off a famous tomb to
prevent women from performing lewd acts on a statue.
For those of you female readers who are disappointed by the
closing, there is an alternative. Rubbing MY crotch will also
cause you to find a husband within a year, so if the cemetery
turns you away ...
"Pigs and Small Horses are to be allowed on board Northwest
planes". This is a funny item (apparently true) in Dave
Barry's blog, but the real fun is beneath the item. Look below and
read the comments, which are hilarious.
Two golf course managers and a tournament organizer were sentenced
to house arrest for hosting two competitions featuring prostitutes
and strippers stationed along the putting greens. I've
always thought that America was a great country, but how great can
it be when this is illegal?
British bookies make odds on the next James Bond. The
latest rumor is that McGregor is in negotiations, but the bookies
list Colin Farrell at 3-1, Hugh Jackman at 4-1, Carrot Top at 5-1,
and Ewan at 14-1. OK, I made up the part about Carrot Top, but I'm
still pulling for Pete Postlethwaite. We've had just about enough
of these pretty boy Bonds. It's time to give us ugly suckers a
You know Tom Hanks has made it - Bafta gives him the same award as
Hugh Grant. It isn't exactly clear what that award is
for. I have narrowed it down to two possibilities (1) best acting
by guys who could afford good haircuts, but just don't care, or
(2) best acting by heterosexual guys who seem not to be.
- The ultimate Christmas Gift from the Scoopy Gift Catalogue?
Bigger breasts under the ol' X-mas tree. For those of
you who really want to put the X back in X-mas.
World population 'to level off at 9b in 2300
- The submitter wrote: "Later in the article it goes on to say
that any prediction after 2050 is a shot in the dark, and that
estimates of 12 billion could be possible. I think that the
world population will reach 12 billion, but will start go down
about the time Soylent Green becomes popular. We then may be
forced to kill all people over the age of 30 in the fiery ritual
of Carousel, but it doesn't matter after we blow ourselves up in
a nuclear war. The cause of the war is uncertain ... either
Skynet takes over or some mad terrorist launches one missile
which triggers a world wide war. All we will know is that a war
occurred, evidenced by the dilapidated Statue of Liberty washed
up on a beach. Well, all of this will be moot if Bruce Willis
and Ben Affleck fail to blow up the Texas sized asteroid coming
our way (which we will not know about until it is only seven
days away from impact).
Playboy TV to Launch 'Night Calls Hotline' Friday
Various celebrity paparazzi photos
CANADA REPORTS HUGE JUMP IN IMMIGRATION. Over
55,000,000 Requests for Citizenship Since Tuesday Night
- Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Pierre Pettigrew said that
he was “flabbergasted” by the fifty-five-million-plus requests
for Canadian citizenship, adding that it was difficult to
pinpoint the precise reasons for the staggering increase. “My
only theory is that after many years of exposure in the U.S.,
hockey is finally starting to catch on,” Mr. Pettigrew said.
The Daily Show looks at the international response to the Bush
How Americans Voted - demographic breakdown.
- One of the crazy things floating around the net is that
President Bush was elected by a coalition of the stupid. Whether
you like the President or not, the plain facts are that the
identifiably stupid voted for Kerry, not Bush. America's least
educated citizens, people who quit school after or during high
school, went overwhelmingly for Kerry, 54-46. On the other hand,
America's most educated citizens also preferred Kerry by a solid
margin. Those with post-graduate education favored Kerry 53-47.
Where President Bush won was in the middle ground - those who
attended college, maybe graduated, but did not continue their
education after college. Bush took the college grads
overwhelmingly 58-42, and took the "attended college but did not
graduate" group 56-44.
- The craziest split, as I have noted elsewhere, was between
married and unmarried women. Kerry WON the unmarried women vote
by a massive 28 points, but LOST the married woman vote by 16
points. The election was lost on a wedding ring.
- Compared to 2000, the President LOST substantial support (7
points) among voters aged 18-29. I guess those "rock the vote"
things have some impact. It didn't matter, at least not this
time, because the President improved so much among the other age
groups, but it shows the influence which external efforts may be
able to exert over the youth market in future elections. Or not.
LA Direct -Models Available. Click on their names for
nude portfoliios and a complete list of what they will do on
camera including SM, BD, LOL, and sometimes even LS/MFT.
Latest Internet rumor going around is that Vegas star Josh Duhamel
used to star in gay porn. Real or "shopped"? You make the call.
Some guy supposedly takes Jessica Simpson's ... um ... cherry.
I think this photo must be a fake of some kind, but I don't know
the trick. They discuss it below. Consensus is that it is not a
live Jessica, but another woman or a wax dummy or something.
Two new way cool posters from Sin City.
- Submitter wrote:
"This just in...Jessica Alba is freakin' hot! Huge pic here, but
you may wish it could be bigger"
The trailer for Monster-in-Law: "The story of a young
woman who must reconsider her engagement when confronted with her
nightmarish future mother-in-law." (Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda)
Four free short videos from Playboy's Twins & Sisters!
Playmate Gallery - Heather Carolin - April 2002 - Courtesy of
To the dismay of 'Star Wars' nerds everywhere, Natalie Portman
will not be nude in the upcoming Mike Nichols movie, 'Closer.'
"Portman, who plays Queen Amidala in the space epics, was supposed
to bare all for her role as a stripper in 'Closer,' until she got
cold feet and asked Nichols to cut the footage of her romping
fully nude in a topless club."
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno presents The Fruitcake Lady
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
Hello-Goodbye (1970): Day 1
Scoop says: "Frankly, I don't know a goddamned thing
about this movie or this actress. IMDb doesn't know a lot either.
She appeared in this movie and one episode of Mannix. If nothing
else, that means these clips are real rarities! The rest of these
words are Shiloh's comments."
Notes from Shiloh:
Talk about obscure movies, the Fox Movie Channel shows a lot of
them. Watched a couple scenes in this movie and Michael
Crawford couldn't act his way out of a paper bag, plus he's ... um
... not the most masculine guy in the world. Hard to believe he
transformed himself to appear in Phantom of the Opera. He had a
bit part in "The War Lover" 1962, which I watched a couple times
in the 60s - maybe the only movie where Steve McQueen played a bad
BTW, responding to an earlier discussion on the page, Undertow was not direct to vid, it was a made-for-Showtime
movie I awaited eagerly 'cause I knew Mia Sara had a couple of
Also, Scoop, your favorite movie, The Sweet Ride (Jacqueline Bisset's
first topless scene) is shown again on FMC next Fri at 2 pm and
Sat at 4am.
Gilles (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)
Gilles (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
Words, pictures, and vids from
WET (1995) --- Day 1
Hello Scoopy !
Today and tomorrow we can see how a fully nude Cynda Williams
cons a bathroom salesman into giving her a new bathtub for free
in the short film "Wet" (1995). The poor sucker thinks Cynda
fancies him and he quickly falls prey to her scheme. You see, he
doesn't know he's being videotaped and if he doesn't give her a
new tub for free then she'll send the tape to his wife or his
boss OR Uncle Scoopy's Fun House...
That's all for today, please come back tomorrow for the two
||New on DVD...here is the Canadian babe going topless and showing rear nudity in scenes from the Colin Farrell movie "A Home at the End of the World" (2004).
||Also new on DVD...here is the French actress topless and showing rear nudity while riding a dude in scenes from the Juliette Lewis movie "Blueberry" aka "Renegade" (US DVD title).
|Scenes from the 1991 movie "The Rapture". Rogers briefly bares her mega-breasts as she gets out of the shower and in a 2 girls and a guy scene with Mulder. Davis shows off a fully airbrushed backside, as well as some side/rear breast views. Menuez is topless in both.
|For those who may have doubted that Reid recently had implants, she proved once and for all that she did have some after market boobs installed at this week's Puff Daddy Birthday Ball. (or is that "Birf-day") He we have some excellent high quality paparazzi pics of a single breast (and it's Franken-nipple) escaping Reid's dress.
|The UK babe and "Nip/Tuck" star going full frontal in scenes from the 1993 Ken Russell adaptation of "Lady Chatterley".
||The "Desperate Housewives" star stopping by the Tonight Show. Nothing exciting to report in the skin department, but good lord this woman is beautiful.
|Elle Macpherson and Kate Fischer
|Fitzgerald goes topless and full frontal, Fischer is also topless and mega-model Elle Macpherson is topless and full frontal (link #4). Scenes from the movie we have talked about and loved since the beginning of the Fun House..."Sirens" (1994).
Scoop pretty much summed it up in his review with this comment...
I have to say that on a scale of 1 to 100, rating beautiful nudity from famous women in non-sex movies, this is 100. "Sirens" is the Holy Grail of naked famous women.
Click here for the full Scoopy.com review.
Barton and Bilson
|From Thursday night's season premiere of "The OC". Both babes show some bikini cleavage.
|Also from Thursday night, here are two of the "North Shore" babes. Righetti is sorta wearing a bikini and Vaugier starts off soaking wet, then strips off some of her clothes.
|If you saw the trailer for "Honey" you probably told yourself that it would suck and that you didn't need to watch it. Let me just confirm that yes, you were correct on both counts. The only positive thing about this movie is that Alba is possibly the sexiest woman on the planet and does some seriously hot dancing while wearing very little. Thanks to the Skin-man for these 'caps of Alba showing off her often sweaty abs.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
BAD WEEK FOR MICHAEL JACKSON
Dangling Chad...Off A Balcony - It's a bad week for Michael Jackson. His
judge rejected his lawyer's request to remove the district attorney that
Jackson thinks is gunning for him.
His lawyer replied, "Okay, then how about making it legal to sleep with
Thank God the election is over and we're finally back to news about
what's really important: Michael Jackson!
Keep Repressing It - Michael is also facing a new lawsuit by a New Orleans
man who claims Jackson made sexual contact with him, cut him with a razor
blade, cut his chest with steel wire, bit him and made him consume
mood-altering substances in a limo 20 years ago, when the alleged victim
was 18. The suit is based on repressed memories which he claims he
...When he realized how low his bank balance was.
Well, that is the type of thing that tends to slip your mind.
It was either Michael Jackson or he was abducted by an
extraterrestrial...hard to tell.
This story is ridiculous! Michael would never touch anyone as old as
ELTON WANTS TO MARRY, LAUNCH SITCOM
It's A Little Bit Funny - Elton John told the German magazine Gala that he
wants to marry longtime boyfriend David Furnish. He didn't say what
country they'd do it in, adding, "We haven't set a date, and it surely
won't be a public ceremony, but I would like to place my life in his hands
with a wedding vow."
Every other part of Elton has been in his hands...
I don't know what country they'll do it in, but it won't be America.
He's found the person who shares his greatest passion: shopping.
Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza - Elton also announced that he's developing an
ABC sitcom about an aging rock superstar and his long-suffering entourage
that he calls "an up-market 'Spinal Tap.'" Elton said it's not about him,
but everybody he's known over 30 years, from Rod Stewart to Mick Jagger to
Freddy Mercury. He said he's met every star and seen every misbehavior.
Maybe he should forget ABC and pitch this to HBO.
If it were about Elton, it would be called "The Odd Couple."
PORTMAN WON'T SHOW HER AMADALAS
Not Just Cold Feet - Sad news for "Star Wars" fans: Natalie "Princess
Amadala" Portman got cold feet about playing a stripper in the upcoming
movie "Closer" and asked director Mike Nichols to cut all her nude scenes.
He agreed. Portman told Entertainment Weekly that Nichols is as protective
of her as her parents and "he wants to see my bare ass much less than even
my father would."
Apparently so, since her dad let her play a stripper.
When this gets out, Mike Nichols may need protection.
The script was rewritten; she'll now play a furniture stripper.
Too bad: this could've been a lot of "Star Wars" geeks' only chance to
see a naked woman.