Re-Animator (1985) is an comedy send-up of an HP Lovecraft story. Jeffry Combs is a medical student who believes he has found a serum to bring the dead back to life. He enlists the aid of room mate and third year medical student Bruce Abbot to obtain cadavers to experiment on, and Abbot's main squeeze, Barbara Crampton is drawn into the fun. When the serum actually works, the re-animated cadavers are not at all friendly, and before long, a chief resident with separate head and body has lobotomized the dean, who is also father of Barbara Crampton, and is trying to take credit for the formula.

We see all three Bs from Crampton in three scenes. First is a post sex scene with Abbot, then she is brought unconscious into the morgue and stripped. Finally, we see her on a gurney as they try to revive her.

Ebert says three stars, saying that it is unrepentingly trash, which is not always a bod thing. IMDB readers have it at 6.8 of 10, and the film has a large cult following. Some of the special effects are very well done, there is plenty of gore, and the Crampton nudity is a huge plus. C+

• Maria Bello
• Teri Geary

WOW! This has to be the big story of the year so far, assuming it is for real. The next captures are supposed to be deleted footage from Monster's Ball. You can see the complete .mpg movie (only 360k) in the ICMS section below. Is this real footage? Is this really Halle? I don't know any more than you do. But it sure looks real to me. We were expecting to see additional footage that was cut to avoid an NC-17 rating, so it doesn't come completely out of left field, but I wasn't expecting anything quite this graphic. They could have called it Monster Balls. As you recall, Halle won an Oscar for this film, so this would be the about most explicit footage ever seen of an Oscar-winning performance. I don't seem to recall any similar scenes with Katharine Hepburn.

• Monster's Ball? Halle? I don't know, you tell me. Sure seems to be Halle and BB. Also don't miss the .mpg in ICMS's section, because still pictures don't give you anywhere near the full flavor of it.

Eugenie is yet another late 60's DeSade interpretation from grade-z director Jess Franco. Franco has made 180+ films, and in the accompanying DVD interview he says that this is his best. It really does have some strengths, but that evaluation by Franco tells you more about the rest of his career than about this film. Christopher Lee acted in this and to this day (he is also interviewed on the DVD), he still insists he wasn't aware of the explicit material. (Cough. cough. C'mon big fella - it was a Marquis de Sade novel. What kind of scenes did you expect in there?)  

• Marie Liljedahl (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
• Maria Rohm (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
• some sacrificial chick

OTHER CRAP:

• The porno moviemakers are always on top of things - how's this for a great title? - Weapons of Ass Destruction
• Barbra Streisand says Wellstone's death was no accident! How far off the deep end is this woman?
• Jesse the Body nominates an indy to replace Wellstone. Senate now split 49-49 with 2 indies. (Possibly until January) Say, maybe Streisand is on to something. Nah. The election today will decide 20 current GOP seats and 14 existing Dem seats, but those new people don't take office until January.
• Winona does not testify. Case goes to jury
• England prepared for massive call-up of reservists. First use of Queen's Order since Korea
• The 2003 Pirelli calendar brings back the nudity, and also adds some dudes. Here's the goodies:
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Cover
  • Pirelli Calendar (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
• Pravda says Goldie Hawn's secret of youth is plenty of sex. Must be true. Pravda means "truth".
• Movie Juice takes a silly look at I Spy
• Three from the Smoking Gun. Sheryl Crow's backstage booze requirements are a fluid affair. If it's Tuesday, she must have Bombay (gin). Details at: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/scrow1.html
• Jennifer Lopez is reportedly paying $13,500 a month for a short-term Manhattan loft rental. For a look inside without the hassle of a subsequent restraining order, visit: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/lopezapt1.html
• A New Jersey congressional candidate is airing a campaign commercial that uses the image of Beltway Sniper suspect John Allen Muhammad in a bid to slam her opponent's gun control positions. View it at: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/sumersad1.html

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Katie Lohmann was monthly Hefmate for April '01 and was in the running for newest Juggy Dancer on the Manshow... but alas Jimmy and Adam chose someone else, the walking and talking epitome of a dumb blonde. What could they have been thinking?

Anyway, Katie was the reason I grabbed Model Solution when I found it on the shelf, motivated as I was by how yummy she looked in Tuna's caps of this movie. And therein lies a lesson. You play this movie at normal speed and you will find that Katie, in all her nekkidness, is well above okay, but not terrific. Then you slow it down and go frame-by-frame and you find she is wonderful. Something about still frames that brings out her best features.

I grabbed over 100 frames from each of two scenes. Here are sixteen collages from a sport-humpin scene with the same guy who did Diana Espen (April Flowers) earlier in the movie and who did Brande Roderick in Inside Club Wild Side... three times. Envy leads to hate...as Yoda would say... and how I hate this guy.

The rundown:

Katie shows her enhanced but nonetheless attractive hooties in all 16. Numbers 6 & 9 are composites of slow scans. I am particularly pleased with #9. She shows some bum in #4 and some bush in #'s 10 and 16.

And you know how I said the coupling scenes in this movie had a symmetry, where the guy and the gal took turns with one's face down near the other's pubis? The implication being, of course, that each was getting and giving.

Well, not in this scene. The guy sorta muzzles 'round down there but not Katie. Nope. Seems as though Hefmate don't do that sort of thing, even in Hollywood.

• Katie Lohmann (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

Today, a Spanish film from 2001 called "Juana la Loca" or Joan the Mad. It is director Vicente Aranda's view of the history of this unlucky Spanish queen. Joan the Mad (Pilar López de Ayala) did indeed really exist. In 1496 at age 16 princess Joan was sent to Flanders for a arranged wedding with Philip, archduke of Flanders, Burgundy and Austria. Philip and Joan are immediately attracted to one another and instantly consume their marriage. Although Joan is far from prudish and is eager enough to do everything he wants in bed, this is not enough for Philip. One day she finds him in bed with one of her maids of honor (Carolina Bona) and from that moment on Joan seems changed for good. She cries betrayal and from that moment on she tries everything to make her husband faithful, having as much luck in doing so as Hillary Clinton had with Bill.

Meanwhile all of Joan's older brothers died as did her mother, Queen Isabella the Catholic. This makes her the heiress of the crown of Castilia (Spain). So she and her husband move to Spain but Joan is still more obsessed with the infidelity of her womanizing husband. She doesn't pay any attention to the state affairs. Even when the Cortés takes her power away she is more occupied with finding out who her husband is sleeping with than with preventing her terrible fate. After the dead of her husband Philip, he is buried in a monastary in Tordesillas, 180 km. northwest of Madrid. Joan is locked away at age 28 in a castle in the same town and occasionally gets to visit her husband's grave. When her oldest son becomes King Charles V or Emperor Charles he did nothing for his mother. She spent the rest of her life, 47 years, in that place.

The film itself could have been better. Certainly, the cinematography and camerawork are good, the locations and costumes are splendid and the actors all deliver solid performances. Especially Pilar López de Ayala as Joan the Mad puts in a terific performance, full of passion and eagerness, which was awarded with the Goya prize for best actress and a silver shell at the San Sebastián film festival. The story however presents some flaws and is not historically accurate. What exactly was it that the Flemish nobility was taking away from Spain and why did they want her husband Philip on the Spanish throne? Since she was married Joan could not rule Spain by herself and had to appoint a man to do it for her. This process seemed to take years. Who governed Spain in the meantime? It is also unclear why they introduced a character that didn't exist historically: Aixa (Manuela Arcuri), allegedly the daughter of a chased Moorish king, who becomes Philip's favorite mistress. Beautiful Manuela's part was very small and they filmed her nude scenes in bad lighting. The DP could have done much better here. Furthermore her first nude appearence is shot in a studio in Madrid but apparently the camera was located 240 km. to the north, in Burgos, where the action is supposed to take place. What a shame to muck up this scene, especially since Manuela Arcuri has never been shy in front of the cameras. The IMDb rates the film at 6.2 and from me it gets a C+.

The nudity: Pilar López de Ayala shows breasts and buns, Carolina Bona unveils her breasts and Italian überbabe Manuela Arcuri reveals all 3 B's.

• Manuela Arcuri (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

• Pilar López de Ayala (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

• Caroline Bona (1, 2, 3)

Let's move on now to something different.

On the Flemish Yahoo newsgroup allcelebsnaked someone posted on November 1 a short mpeg from Monster's Ball showing Halle Berry in full action with Billy Bob Thornton. Are they really doing it or is this an amazing fake?

• Halle and Billy Bob gettin' it on

Some movies from South Africa:

Sandra Prinsloo in wet-dress scene in the foreign comedy classic "The Gods Must Be Crazy" (1980). This is one of the most sought after out-of-print movies on eBay.

• Sandra Prinsloo (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

"Quest for Love" (1989) is a lesbian movie with no overt nudity or sex.

• Jana Cilliers: topless in shower (she appears to be wearing breast shields for most of the scene), breast exposure getting dressed with Sandra Prinsloo, dark topless love scene but it appears to be a body double.
• Sandra Prinsloo: hot lesbo lovin' with Jana, no nudity
• Joanna Weinberg: upskirt and pokies, hugging Sandra

Next up....Michelle Bestbier shows some pokies in the sniper-action "In the Name of Blood" (1990).

• Michelle Bestbier

Now for some Canadian Newsroom stuff:

• Tanya Allen from the tv series "The Newsroom" shows her butt while displaying full dorsal nudity while skinnydipping in the CBC movie "The Lives of Girls & Women" (1994).

• Karen Hines in brassiere in the movie "The Events Leading Up To My Death" (1991). Newsroom fans may recognize her from "Escape from the Newsroom" which aired on the CBC last week.

Today it's a trip way back in time to 1964 for some "Babes in Bondage & Peril" in "Olga's House of Shame" a so called "Roughie" from that era. In this flick, one of a series of "Olga" films, Audrey Campbell as Olga dishes out all kinds of torment and bondage to a bunch of unknowns.

Now for you youngsters this a sample of what we old timers got to see in our day and we had to go to the nearest grindhouse to see it (no internet, no Uncle Scoopy), my god how did we survive??

The "Roughie" flicks came about in this time period where they figured it was all right to beat the crap out of a woman as long as no one had sex with her. Anyway appreciate what we have at our fingertips these days.

• Topless Unknowns (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

Scoops,

Today I present a series of original scans from the Spanish edition of DT Magazine, October issue:

Alice Dodd, the 25-year-old Liverpool-born model looks great in these pics. Her family moved first to France, and then to Long Island, USA, when she was 15. It was then that started her modeling career and became famous.

• Alice Dodd (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Christine Boutte, the 21-year-old international model was born to an American dad and Austrian mom.

• Christine Boutte (1, 2, 3)

Valeria Marini, the beautiful Italian actress from Rome.

• Valeria Marini (1, 2, 3, 4)

Also, a series of vintage Marilyn scans from a 2003 calendar published by Graphique de France and printed in Paris.

• Marilyn Monroe (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Finally, as a curiosity you will find a couple of ads I scanned from the Spanish edition of DT that I found quite humorous: Reebok and Smirnoff.

• Reebok
• Smirnoff

From IMDB News...

Bond Beauty Steams Up Brosnan Die Another Day star Rosamund Pike may be one in a long line of Bond girls, but being part of the steamiest love scene ever to appear in the hit franchise has made her unique. The English actress, who plays Olympic fencer Miranda Frost in the film, is proud of the scene which will raise temperatures the world over when the Bond film is released later this month. And she admits raunchier versions of the encounter were cut to adhere to the film's rating. She says, "There was a steamier scene, actually, which has been cut. It was actually too steamy for the story. You see this is Lee Tamahori directing. He's bringing Bond into a new age. He shot an X-rated Bond film probably, although it's still PG and all that will have to come out."

PRE-ELECTION ROUND-UP OF IDIOCY AND INSANITY
Florida Gave Them The Vote Decades Ago - Tomorrow, voters in New Mexico will decide whether to strike down a 1912 clause in the state Constitution barring "idiots and insane persons" from voting. An Elections Bureau official said those terms are archaic, and we now know there are many varieties of mental illness people can have and still make a decision. One early voter said the measure made sense to her, because "God knows, there are already a lot of idiots voting."

I just got next week's Canadian TV Guide and Charles Bronson's Death Wish II is scheduled to air November 15, Friday night 11:30pm EST on the Canadian movie channel Moviepix.

The running time listed is 95 minutes which happens to be the length of the uncut version only available in Europe and maybe Brazil. (the uncut version features some of the most graphic rape scenes ever to be found in a Hollywood movie!)

If you're in Canada check your local listings!