Moment by Moment (1978):

We spent a lot of time yammering about the best sex and nudity in film history. It's just about time to discuss the worst. If there is a sex scene less sexy than this hot tub scene between Lily Tomlin and Barbarino, I don't wanna know about it.

It represents Tomlin's only screen nudity, but don't watch it for the nudity, which is too subtle to have any value as erotica. Watch it only to hoot at the ridiculous dialogue and acting. Don't ever get hornswaggled into a drinking game watching this film. If you had to drink every time Tomlin said "Oh, Strip," you would surely die of alcohol poisoning.

The film is rated 2.5 at IMDb, and that is either too high or too low, depending on your point of view. If you're on acid, this might be a ten. Lily delivers every line in a monotone, as if she were doing a low-key "robot voice." The industry scuttlebutt say that Travolta and his studio kept this film from ever being issued on any form of home media.

Zipped .wmv

Fair warning: lots of "hairy Travolta in a speedo" action.

If you are interested,  here is a 9-page review which covers all the key points -  and many minor ones and innuendos as well: http://www.agonybooth.com/moment_by_moment/

 

 

Third party videos:

A zipped .avi of Yohana Colo and Penelope Cruz in Volver, the latest eccentric film from the offbeat genius of Spanish film, Almodovar. Flauti reviewed the film in the Halloween edition 10/31/06. It scores better than 90% at Rotten Tomatoes.

Oh, HDTV can be a wonderful thing. Check out Salma Hayek's monstrous boobs in the elevator scene in Ugly Betty. There's no nudity, but she looks mah-velous in high definition.  (Zipped .avi)

 

OTHER CRAP:

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

Infested (2002)

Biancaneve e i sette nani (1995), or Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, is a direct to video hard-core spoof of the famous Brothers Grimm fairy tale. It was made by Italian director Luca Damiano, but was "Shooted" in Budapest, Hungry.

I will presume that everyone reading this knows the story of Snow White. As a reviewer at IMDb commented, this film remains true to the Disney story, which is not a huge surprise since the Disney version was in turn true to the original fairy tale. Of course, the reviewer may have meant that Ludmilla Antonova, in the title role, was wearing a duplicate of the Disney costume when she was wearing anything at all.

When the evil queen (Vicky) isn't questioning the mirror or turning herself into a witch, she has group sex with her male and female servants.

The Blue Prince is under constant pressure from his father to make grandchildren. He tries out his cousin Ursula, but she is only interested in sex, not kids. He then tries country girl Nicolette Lars, who is a perfect fit, but is already married. Meanwhile. Snow White is being given love lessons by all seven of the dwarfs. They patiently lead her through masturbation, fellatio, vegetable dildoes, and finally anal and vaginal sex, which, of course, prepares her for the arrival of her prince.

Once the prince wakes her from the dead with his kiss, the celebrate by having sex with all seven dwarfs watching through a window grate and kibitzing.

This is the second best hard core spoof I have seen, second only to the Alice In Wonderland Musical. Granted the sex becomes tedious, but a little less so than most hard core films. It runs a full 120 minutes, which is also unusual. Ludmilla Antonova looked adorable both in and out of her Snow White costume, and did a much more than adequate job playing a naive young woman. The highest possible score for a hard core under our system is a C+, and this is all of that.

IMDb has this at 6.7, but with only 37 votes. Even so, that is a phenomenal score for a hard core effort seen by most people dubbed and subtitled. For some reason, this DVD is both rare and expensive, with people at IMDb asking for help locating their own copy. There are currently two listed at Amazon.

This is a hard core film, so all of the women show everything, both full and empty.

 

 

Ludmilla Antonova

Nicolette Lars

Ursula

Vicky

Notes and collages

Meredith Baxter in My Breast   This TV movie which came out in 1994 deals with breast cancer: hence this scene where a doctor is doing a breast exam on Ms. Baxter. I manipulated this collage in terms of the background; her arm was behind her head throughout the scene which looked really awkward as a melding so I cloned it (and a picture on the wall) out of most of the final image. Ms. Baxter seems like a nice lady which might explain this: her only topless scene over the years as far as I know (and she did it for a good cause.) She was the mom in the TV series "Family Ties" and (way long ago) the spouse to her real husband in another TV series "Bridget loves Bernie" when her name was Meredith Baxter Birney. As she always dressed in a demure manner, nobody knew that her breasts were THAT large... impressive...         Cybill Shepherd in The Last Picture Show   When people reminisce about the higher quality of the good old days, many of those remembrances are viewed through rose-colored glasses. Most of today's living is a LOT better than the "good old days." One exception is this: garters & stockings versus pantyhose. The best part of watching Cybill Shepherd skinny dip is the stripping. She does it shyly/boldly in front of a half dozen naked people. A great scene... with garters and stockings.....sweet.