Malibu Express (1985) is the first film by Andy Sidaris and his Malibu Bay production company. It is kind of an anachronism, as it is an early 70's style tittie flick, and spoof of a private eye. There is entirely too much nudity to cover in one night, so here are the lesser characters. Look for a full review, and the 4 main players tomorrow.

Sybil Danning - breasts
Suzanne Regard - breasts
Barbara Edwards - breasts, buns, and the only bush in the film. She is the dark haired of the two
Kimberly McArthur - breasts and buns. The blonde with Edwards.
Shanna McCullough - breasts
Robin Hilton - Part of nipple and cleavage
Alex Hinton - breasts. She was the wife of the lead, Darby Hinton, and was given a cameo.

(scoop's replies in yellow)

OTHER CRAP:

• Things don't go well for Winona's star witness. The slammer is actually starting to loom as a possibility. (The betting money says "guilty, but probation".) Ya know, I still don't know why this whole fiasco is taking place. How much is the State of California spending on a case involving $5,000 worth of shoplifting that will result in either a "not guilty" or a suspended sentence? It must be millions and millions. They could have settled this all quietly behind closed doors.
• As noted yesterday, Farrah now does everything naked. I'm not sure, but I think The Farrah Sonata might be missing a few notes, if you catch my drift. As one of my friends says, "the lights are flashing and the gate is down, but the train ain't comin'".
• Variety says Portia de Rossi to get a new sitcom on NBC, details to follow
• Salma's new movie gets pretty good reviews. Critics praise Julie Taymor's visuals and the actors, but find the script bland. Roger Ebert awarded three and a half stars. (Sorry, I still haven't found any captures)

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

"Bully"
First up, Bijou Phillips full frontal, crotch-shots and views from the gyno-cam in "Bully" (2001). When she first saw Bully at the premiere she was furious at the director Larry Clarke for including shots of her genitalia. When you're wearing cut-offs worn down to five threads at the crotch something was bound to pop out.

• Bijou Phillips (1, 2, 3)

Next up...

• More gyno-cam views...this time by Caroline Trousselard in "Romance" (1999).

"Jason X"
More coverage of Canadian actresses in the latest (and sci-fi version) of the "Friday the 13th" slasher movies.

• Melyssa Ade: exposing cleavage Elvira-style

• Mika Ward: Big boobs in t-shirt and hotpants but that's it. Her first Scoopy appearance since the group sex scene in Lexx.

• Kristi Angus: playing the dumb-blond technician, shirt rides up showing a bit of her lower breasts while getting attacked by Über-Jason.

• Melody Johnson: only shows bare back and bare belly during love scene. But boy can she fill out at-shirt. Gets the money shot slasher-style (blood spurted on the face)

• Melody bears a strong resemblance to a no-name stripper in the vampire movie "Midnight Kiss" (1993) but the problem is this was way too early in her career to be doing topless roles. (This is an older cap from the May 3, 2001 Funhouse)

• Unknowns: Kaye Penaflor and Tania Maro. Bit of debate of who's-who but using left-to-right crediting Hollywood usually uses (but not always) then Kaye is the Asian girl. In fact there is a Filipina-Canadian Kay Penaflor (Kay, not Kaye) who's the 1999 Miss Asia titleholder.

"Wirey Spindell" (2000)
"Wirey Spindell" is your typical coming-of-age comedy. Very explicit dialogue but the sex scenes are very tame.

• Erica Bergsmeds: Swedish actress shows her boobs in "going down" scene.
• Samantha Buck: manages to keep her brassiere and panties on while making love in hallway. How do they do it?
• Unknowns 1: gratuitous nude volleyball scene full of robohooters, shaved boxes, and gyno-cam.
• Unknowns 2: more fully clothed love scenes.

"Let's talk about sex"
"Let's talk about sex" is the first segment of the anthology "Erotique" (1999) starring Kamala Lopez as a phone sex worker. No nudity by Kamala but five unidentified actresses are nude in her phone-sex fantasies. The other credited actresses are Janet Haley, Tairrie B., Dianna Miranda, Kayla Allen, Sunshine Bainbridge, and Michelle Clunie. Can anyone point out which actress is which? Some clues that may help:

Janet Haley is an older actress who probably is the older unattractive phone sex worker (not capped).

Michelle Clunie is best known for her work on the tv series "Queer As Folk". She's probably the first unknown.

Tairrie B. is a rap singer. She's probably the second unknown. See http://www.tairrieb.net/index.html

Dianna Miranda and Kayla Allen have other movie credits. Sunshine Bainbridge has none.

The pics:

• Kamala Lopez: underwear only
• Unknowns...toplessness, frontal nudity, lesbo lovin' and some sex scenes. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Today we feature B-movie babe and former HEFfer, Carrie Westcott in a scene from the Andy Sidaris movie, "Return to Savage Beach". The first 3 show great cleavage...then sit back and enjoy the rest with Carrie topless!

• Carrie Westcott (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

Here's the breakdown: