* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








Caligula: the Untold Story


This was Joe D'Amato's attempt to capitalize on the publicity caused by the Tinto Brass film. One morning, Caligula (David Brandon), decides to rape virgin Fabiola Toledo in front of her boyfriend. When she tries to stab him, he kills both of them. This pisses off Laura Gemser who was close to the girl, so Laura decides to infiltrate the palace and kill Caligula. Meanwhile, he is planning a little urban renewal and needs cash investors, so he throws a fundraising party, and recruits a bunch of women, including the vestal virgins, Laura Gemser, and Ulla Luna to put the guests in a giving mood. Caligula falls for Gemser, and she in turns falls for Little Boots and elects not to kill him, after realizing that all of Cali's random killing and raping is just because he's misunderstood or something.

Of course, you can't make a Caligula film with a happy ending.

Yes, Caligula is nasty here, but Gemser slept through a role in which her character arc made no sense to begin with. The weak narrative might have sufficed for an exploitation film, but there are no real guilty pleasures to speak of: there is not that much nudity or simulated sex, and the gore is mostly implied. To top it all off, the poor quality of the film is compounded by an abysmal DVD. The English dub is awful and this is one of the worst transfers I have ever seen, obviously having been created from a poor VHS copy. To compensate for the poor quality, the transfer is oversaturated to such an extent that there's more bright pink and robin's-egg blue than a baby shower on Easter morning.

This is an easy F on our scale, incompetent in every possible way.

IMDb: 3.5

Laura Gemser shows breasts. Fabiola Toledo does full frontal while being raped standing with her back to a tree. That must have a 6X degree of difficulty, raping a virgin standing up. Ulla Luna shows breasts as well.




Ulla Luna



Fabiola Toledo



Laura Gemser









"Tell Me You Love Me"

We travel a little different road today. From the HBO series we have Michelle Borth, who seems willing to do most anything on film, as these almost hard-core scenes will show.


Episode 1



Episode 8








Notes and collages

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

part 4 of ?

Dolly Parton








Dianne Steinberg in Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

A film clip of Stefanie Powers in Bronco Busters

A film clip of Maggie Q in Manhattan Midnight

A film clip of Anjelica Huston in The Perez Family

Several clips of Krista Allen in One Last Fling

A film clip of Maria Conchita Alonso in Caught

A film clip of Rena Riffel in The Pornographer

A film clip of giant-breasted Polish film star Kasia Figura in Wrzeciono Czasu

Britney in her Halloween get-up 

Brigitte Lahaie in The Grapes of Death. This may have been her first nude appearance.

Brigitte Lahaie in Henry and June.








Mr Bean's Holiday



Emma De Caunes










The Marine



Kelly Carlson



Christina Lindley







Hostel: Part II

Writer/Director Eli Roth does it again, and if you're a fan of 2005's Hostel, there's no reason not to like 2007's Hostel: Part II. In fact, you may like it better.

The storyline is faithful to the original, but with some nice differences. This time, three American girls are lured to a hostel by a friendly European woman. Instead of the promised good time, they step into hell.

In the original, the victims were young men, in this one, young women, but the basic theme is the same. However, the ending is much twistier and more interesting than the first one, in my opinion.

Like the original, Hostel: Part II is first-rate horror, about as gory and disgusting as they could possibly make it, and if that's your cup of tea, as it is mine, then you're gonna like it (in a sick and twisted way).


Bijou Phillips Heather Matarazzo Monika Malacova others

The Comedy Wire

Thursday, court papers related to Britney Spears' custody dispute were released, and they revealed how a pop superstar spends her money.  Britney makes about $737,000 a month.  Out of that, she pays $35,000 in spousal and child support to K-Fed and $49,267 in mortgages for her own two homes.  She spends $16,000 a month on clothes; $102,000 on entertainment, gifts and vacations; and even though she always seems to be eating cheap fast food, she spends $4,758 a month dining out.  She also gives $500 a month to charity, and spends zero on education, savings and investments. 

*  Also zero on voice lessons, gym memberships, dance classes and panties.

*  That still leaves nearly $530,000, which is split equally between Jose Cuervo and the nation of Colombia. 

A Scottish scientist proved people could sleep through anything by taping their eyes open while lights flashed, loud music played and they were given electrical shocks.  They still fell asleep within 12 minutes...

*  The music was Barry Manilow.

*  The experiment was conducted during a John Kerry

Two Pennsylvania researchers tested the intensity of the male turkeys' sex drive by slowly dismantling a model of a female turkey until the males lost interest.  They were still mating with it when it was just a head on a stick...

*  This also explained why men get excited over fashion models.