Naked Jane (1995) was a first effort from writer, director, editor Linda Kandel that was first screened at Sundance. It is decidedly an art film, but manages to be intriguing. It is basically the story of a dysfunctional woman (Renee Stahl) who types for a living, writes in her spare time, and is trying o get over the death of her father, and a long separation from her model boyfriend. Her life suddenly gets more interesting when she meets another man.
She half narrates the story, and it is all about knowing what is going on in her head. This is a very unique view of a woman in transition, and Kandel obviously knew her character very well. Stahl, in her first credited role, managed to become a sympathetic character, and showed all of her body parts along the way. Barbara Planck, as a stripper, also turned in a 3 B performance. Peta Wilson also appeared in a small role early in her career.
A very few IMDb readers have this at 8.1 of 10, which only shows that mainstream viewers have stayed away so far. Some of the photography is lovely, and I enjoyed the intimate portrait of this woman. It was also a plus that you had to figure it out as you went along, rather than being spoon fed the plot points. This is a C+ as an art house film, but many of you will want to skip it.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
The Soft Kill (1994):
I wrote of this film yesterday. Mediocre movie, maybe worse than
mediocre, but there are two highlights worth seeing: (1) Michael
Harris's never-seen sex scene with the mysterious Judith Ziehn (2)
Carrie-Anne Moss's first screen nudity.
Here are some film clips of those two scenes in convenient .zipped
Carrie-Anne Moss. What a shame that Carrie-Anne never showed her
incredible breasts straight on in good light. At the 1994 stage in
her life, they were full and round and just magnificent. I suppose
it is too late now. What a loss!
Judith Ziehn and Michael Harris. Some crazy, frenetic softcore
action which had no place in the film at all, and which nobody seems
to have seen until now. Harris's dick even makes some guest
appearances as the two of them act out the Kama Sutra in a scene
eerily similar to the puppet sex scene in Team America.
Phoebe Cates and Willie Aames play two young teens who are on a
caravan between Baghdad and Damascus in the early 19th century. The
caravan is attacked by marauders, and the two teens end up as the
only survivors. Their escape does not please the Evil Arab
Ransacking Dude, because he is a white slaver, and the main reason
he attacked the caravan was to get Phoebe Cates in the first place.
Of course, before he sells her, he plans to ... well, you
The two teens miraculously live through their solo
trek in the desert, and they eventually settle down and build
magnificent living quarters out of palm fronds and dates. Evil Arab
Ransacking Dude pursues them, and captures Cates, but Aames rescues
her, and they run off to create an even more impressive camp out of
sand and coconuts. This time they settle on the coast of the
Mediterranean, which is no simple matter when one considers the
precise route from Baghdad to Damascus. They learn about sex, they
adopt a family of chimps, they encounter the Evil Arab Ransacking
Dude again, and ...
Oh, who am I kidding? There is really only one reason for this film
to exist - Phoebe Cates gets naked constantly. She showers naked
under several different waterfalls, walks naked around their deluxe
hut, swims naked near colorful coral reefs, bathes naked in lagoons,
wades naked in the Mediterranean, has sex with Willie Aames ...
I guess some of you may also enjoy looking at Willie
Aames naked. I know when I used to watch Aames and Van Patten in Eight is Enough, I'd think
to myself, I gotta see willie and dick, if you catch my drift, but that was a deeply
troubled time in my life. Strangely enough, my dream has been
deferred once more, since Willie's willie has been digitally blurred
in every scene on the Asian DVD. The IMDb says that this was simply
done in the DVD mastering process.
Phoebe Cates certainly made an interesting, unique
contribution to cinema nudity. Basically, she spent the entire year
of 1982 naked (this film plus Fast Times at Ridgemont High), and
then kept her clothes on for the rest of her career, which was only
about a dozen years. Then she retired to raise a family, and hasn't
really been seen on screen with or without clothing for a decade. So her
entire collection of nude scenes was packed into a single year. But
what a year! It is possible to argue that her nudity in this film is
the all-time summit of celebrity nudity in film. She was 19 years
old and as cute as
a button, she looked even younger and
sufficiently virginal to fulfill any man's schoolgirl fantasies (no
wonder this film went to DVD in Japan before any other country!),
her body was flawless and natural, and there was no tease. She
showed everything again and again.
There is one other positive feature of this film: the
locations and cinematography are interesting. The director found
some beautiful locations in the desert, and the cinematographer did
a great job on photographing them, as he did on photographing Phoebe.
The rest of the film? Well, the story is ridiculous and maudlin, and
their co-stars are a family of chimps. The acting is terrible.
The Arab guys are one-dimensional villains. Phoebe herself is simply not that good
an actress, but she seems like Siobhan
McKenna compared to Willie Aames. Come to think of it, the chimps
seemed like the Royal Shakespeare Company compared to Willie Aames.
I notice that the distinguished Lord Aames basically called it a
career in 1986 or 87, except for a couple of Eight is Enough Reunion
shows, and has been living in Portland.
In 1999, he tried a bit of a showbiz comeback by writing and
directing and starring in Bible Man, "a Christian video series
designed for children ages 3-9," who are presumably too young to
criticize his acting. That series of videos then expanded into a
Bibleman road show, which Aames starred in until 2003, when he
announced that he would be stepping down from the part of Bibleman
in the touring production in order to spend more time with his
family. Presumably to enjoy his kids while they are still too young
to realize he sucks.
- Phoebe Cates (1,
What's next for Jon Stewart?
Humorist Will Durst's Year 2004 Archives
Kill Bill director Quentin Tarantino has announced his next
project will be a kung-fu film shot entirely in Mandarin.
He will also shoot a second version of the film, dubbed with a
deliberately out-of-synch English soundtrack.
The Ashlee Simpson Show
NADER RIPS OSAMA FOR FAILING TO MENTION HIM. Demands
Inclusion in Next Terror Tape.
Osama bin Laden to join other celebrities with his own fragrance.
Astoundingly, this is not a satire. "I expect people out of
curiosity will try it, and they will find the smell out of this
world," said the Swiss-Saudi sibling of Al Qaeda's founder.
If you enjoyed Sienna Miller in Alfie, you'll find plenty more to
enjoy in the 2003 Pirelli calendar, which features her thrice.
Come to think of it, the other Pirelli pictures on this page ain't
too shabby either!
The First Annual Village Voice Film Critics' Poll - The 250 Best
Films of the 20th Century. I was surprised to see
Biodome and Chairman of the Board finish so high, but I guess the
Village Voice knows its stuff.
Ralph Nader says Charles Manson and Carrot Top would make better
presidents than Bush! Literally, Good Time Ralphie
said, "anybody would be a better president than Bush." When did
Nader turn into a wild-eyed lunatic? He didn't say "anybody on the
ballot", he said "anybody." That blanket assessment would, of
course, encompass such frightening prospects as Manson, Osama bin
Laden, Carrot Top, Jerry Falwell, Ben Affleck, me, and Dennis
- Well, I guess Nader hasn't completely lost his mind, so he
probably meant to exclude Kucinich.
What if the whole world could vote in the U.S. presidential
election? I love the results in France. Kerry 95%, Bush
4%. And I suppose President Bush's 4% was probably made by
Republican operatives making bogus votes! Man, they love that guy
For the first time, golfer Colin Montgomerie is dating a woman
with bigger boobs that his own. Well, maybe not bigger,
but at least in the same ballpark.
Beyonce has a slight wardrobe malfunction.
Universal Pictures is moving up the release of Bridget Jones: The
Edge of Reason one week, to Nov. 12, the studio announced Monday.
Actually, the expected 2500 screen wide release on Nov 19 stays
the same, but they added a 500 screen preview release on the 12th.
A new clip from After the Sunset. (Caper flick with an
A-list cast: Pierce Brosnan, Woody Harrelson, Salma Hayek, Don
NEW! The trailer from MR. AND MRS. SMITH (Brad Pitt, Angelina
The Daily Show covers Arafat dying and the Red Sox - as a single
The Smoking Gun finds that Bonds and other stars were fingered in
a steroid probe: "Key figures in the BALCO steroid case
last year fingered Barry Bonds and other athletes as having
received illegal performance-enhancing drugs from the California
company, according to the Internal Revenue Service investigative
'Fahrenheit 9/11' Gets Election-Eve Airing on Satellite PPV.
- Completely bizarre -
Richard Simmons on Who's Line is it Anyway
Playtone partners Tom Hanks and Gary Goetzman have bought Jeanne
DuPrau's young adult sci-fi bestseller 'The City of Ember'
What's Liam Neeson up to lately?: "On November 12,
Kinsey, the new biodrama from Gods and Monsters director Bill
Condon will be the first chance for many moviegoers to learn about
the life and work of sex expert Alfred Kinsey (Neeson), whose
research into human sexual behavior in the 40's and 50's led to a
new understanding of sexuality in the United States"
The Daily Show looks at vote fraud.
Girl with rare disease has no ability to feel pain. If
ever anyone was born to be a Cubs fan ...
Kerry wins in a landslide. Alexandra Kerry, that is,
who was chosen as the sexiest political daughter. I didn't see a
lot of votes for Cheney's daughter.
Electoral-Vote.com is showing Kerry at his all-time high point
with a 298-231 lead. There are some problems with this,
however. Today's report at www.gallup.com is showing Bush with a
commanding lead in Wisconsin, for example, based on a Sunday
Gallup poll, but this map is showing Kerry with a seven point lead
there, based on a Sunday Zogby poll. In other words - there ain't
no chickens hatched, so put your abacus back in the drawer. It's
goin' down to the wire.
- This link also has an excellent summary of all the major
polls of the popular vote. Ten different polls, all showing
essentially the same thing - a dead heat. There is also a
summary of all the major polls in the 2000 election, so you can
see who did the best job.
Film clip from Team America - Kim Jong Il sings "I'm so ronery."
Hugh Jackman is calling on James Bond casting directors to make
him the new 007. The X-Men star is so obsessed with
playing the spy, he admitted to starting the rumour he was in
negotiations with producers!
Liz Hurley to marry in India?
Four free short videos from Playboy Plus!
Playmate Gallery - Irina Voronina, Jan 2001 - Courtesy of
Gallup's Final Pre-Election Poll Shows Presidential Race to Be
Dead Heat, 49-49.
TED KENNEDY GIVES FREE DRIVING LESSONS TO POOR TEENS!
. He was told that some of the girl's moms might
object, but he figured he'd cross that bridge when he comes to it.
Latino Review has tons of new stills from Nic Cage's National
Treasure, as well as a vast amount of featurette material.
2005 MGM preview
The greatest of all movie critics, The Filthy Critic, gives his
analysis of Saw.
U.S. CAPTURES CAT STEVENS. Long-awaited "October
- After searching for Mr. Stevens in the mountainous region
between Pakistan and Afghanistan, the president said, the U.S.
nabbed the former pop singer at a Starbucks in London, England,
just moments after he ordered a vente latte with skim milk.
- “We’re doing so well now, we may not even have to prevent
the other side from voting,” Bush strategist Karl Rove said.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
Diane Keaton tribute - Day 1
Long before Something's Gotta Give, Diane showed
some skin in Looking for Mr Goodbar. We haven't discussed this much,
since the film has never been issued on DVD, but it was probably
Diane's sexiest role.
Here are the first two clips.
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
Words, pictures, and vids from
Hi Scoopy !
Just a short update on this election day. Don't worry, it won't be
I've almost (just a few extras left) worked my way through the
entire 10 disk box set of Xena Warrior Princess Season 4 (Region
1). Unfortunately there was't much happening in the nudity
department. Only Hudson Leick, who was in just one episode, showed
a bit of her bum in "The Ides of March" in which we learn that
Xena was behind the murder of Caesar, and gives us a nipple peak
in the photo gallery on disk one.
The best part should have been in the bloopers on disk 8. Rob
Tapert, the show's producer, tells us in the extras that there's a
scene in which Renee O'Connor ended up completely naked in front
of the cameras due to an error of a crew member. He wanted to
include this scene, although with Renee's naughty bits blurred,
but his wife Lucy Lawless vetoed it. And Rob probably didn't want
an argument with Xena.
So I had to choose another clip of a clothed Renee from the
bloopers that is particularly fit for this election day, certainly
now that both candidates are equal in the polls. You see,
Gabrielle has to say to some local dude in charge: "Looks like now
you're gonna get a real election". Let's watch how Renee stuffs
this one up, shall we.
So just to be on the safe side guys, don't stand to close in line
to the person in front of you when you're going to vote.
That's all for now.
- Alice Krige aka "The Borg Queen". Here she is topless (and looking pretty darn good nekkid at age 43!) in a scene from "Habitat" (1997).
- "Dead Like Me" co-star Laura Harris also looking terrific topless in scenes from "Habitat".
- One more of Laura Harris. This time we see her baring breasts and bum in a very dark nude scene from the 1998 Robert Rodriguez movie "The Faculty".
Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Cleaning up a few loose ends:
Ashley St. Jon and a bunch of unknowns (cindy, shelley, the bachelorette and the policewoman) in Stag
Stills of Brinke Stevens, Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer in the DVD extas of Nightmare Sisters.
A whole mess more of Victoria Zdrok in Satin Smoke and a few of Shannon Leahy.
- Victoria Zdrok
- Shannon Leahy
And last up is a correction of an error in judgement: I ALWAYS check The Bare Facts for movies I cap, but when I capped the clips of Test Tube Teens From the Year 2000 I just plain forgot. So once again, here are two collages of nekkid shower babes...this time labeled correctly.
||Coming to DVD December 14! Graham stuffs her big'uns into a tight little top, plus we also see a tad of rear/side breast exposure in these scenes from "Blessed".
||Playing a brass pole enthusiast complete with silly-cones and thong views. These scenes are from the Canadian movie "Whitecoats" aka "Intern Academy", written and directed by SCTV star Dave Thomas. Currently there is no release date info at IMDb.
|Jennifer Jason Leigh
||Now playing in theaters! Here is Leigh topless in scenes from "The Machinist". The buzz about this movie of course involves Christian Bale's extreme weight loss. He dropped just over 60 pounds to get down to 130! Keep in mind that he is 6'2" and was previously solid muscle. You can see Bale shirtless here, and his ribs are poking through his skin.
|Joanne Kelly, Mayko Nguyen and an Unknown
||From another Canadian movie without a US release date...here are scenes from "Going the Distance" (2004). Kelly shows a far off thong view, the other two are briefly topless.
||Showing all 3 B's in scenes from "Die Verfehlung" (1992).
||A single breast is exposed as she takes a bubble bath in scenes from an episode of the German TV series "Die Albertis".
||Full frontal nudity from the German actress in scenes from "Sophiiiie!" (2002).
||Brief, but very nice views of all 3 B's in scenes from the German series "Die Wache" episode: "Schwarzer Panther".
||Toplessness and rear nudity on an episode of "Wahre Liebe".
||The Austrian actress topless in scenes from "Ternitz, Tennessee" (2000).
||Toplessness in scenes from "Klinik unter Palmen - Kuba".
|Jennifer Love Hewitt
|Vejiita 'caps of Hewitt in her undies and showing some partial side breast views (link #6) in scenes from "If Only" (2004).
|Señor Skin 'caps of the "Collateral Damage" and "Hannibal" co-star going topless and showing a bit of bum in scenes from the Spanish film "Carne trémula" aka "Live Flesh", directed by Pedro Almodóvar.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
HEFMATE FIRED FOR SLEEPING WITH CLINTON
Quaking With Indignation - The Philadelphia Inquirer reports that former
Miss Arkansas and Hef-mag centerfold Myra Belle Miller is suing the West
Chester Meeting of Friends, a Quaker organization for which she worked as
director of fundraising and PR. She claims she was subjected to sexual
harassment and religious discrimination after Miller admitted in 1992 to
having once had a three-month affair with Bill Clinton. She says she was
fired after complaining to the EEOC.
They directed her to the department that handles all the women who've
had affairs with Bill Clinton.
This is ridiculous...What former Miss Arkansas HASN'T had an affair with
If we start firing women just because they've slept with Bill Clinton,
no work will ever get done.
So the posing nude, the Quakers had no problem with?
POP STAR DEMANDS HER SEX VIDEO BE SHOWN IN COURT
Cherry Pop - Severina Vuckovic, a top Croatian pop star with a prim,
religious image, asked that a video of her having sex with a married
business tycoon be played in court. She's suing a porn website that posted
the stolen tape, which has now been downloaded 10 million times. She wants
it shown in court to prove they violated her copyright. The owner of the
porn site also wants it shown, but to prove she shows no "new sexual art"
that hasn't been seen before in the porn industry and is therefore
In fact, everybody wants it shown, except the married business tycoon.
He claims that all her sexual positions were copied from Madonna.
Paris Hilton could've told her: ALWAYS copyright your sex tapes!
ROCK GROUP PAYS FOR ALBUM WITH THONG SALES
Thong Songs - The new album by the British rock group The Darkness was paid
for by thongs. The band has sold so much merchandise, including black
G-strings with their logo at $18 (US) each, that they made enough money to
pay for recording the album and going on tour, even if they sell no
records. The music merchandising website Recordstore.com calls it "a new
Nothing is better for sales than combining a new model and a G-string.
In fact, they may stop recording albums completely and go into the
"LORD OF THE RINGS" ALL NIGHT LONG
Dress As A Hobbit And Sing "The Time Warp" - On two weekends in November at
London's Imax theater, the British Film Institute will show the entire
"Lord of the Rings" trilogy in one marathon, overnight showing. The
manager said, "The idea is for cinema goers to be able to spend an entire
night in Middle Earth."
These people spend their entire lives in Middle Earth.
It's not like they've got anyplace better to spend the night... like
with a woman.