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My Summer of Love (2004)

(see Tuna's section for additional thoughts and images)

SPOILERS: There is nothing here which explicitly reveals the details of any plot points, but if you read this before watching the movie you will be able to anticipate certain plot developments long before the author intends for that to happen.

This film is kind of an interesting illustration of the gap between the kind of films loved by film "insiders" and the kind that people really want to see. My Summer of Love was a complete critical success in the USA, with 90% positive reviews, and an even more impressive 97% from the inner circle of top-level critics, as estimated by Rotten Tomatoes. Despite the spate of positive reviews scattered through the American newspapers and across the internet, it was seen by no more than 125,000 people. It wasn't a very different matter in Britain. My Summer of Love received the coveted BAFTA award as the best British film of 2004, but it could manage to gross no more than half a million pounds. Between the two nations, the film never played in as many as 100 theaters at the same time.

The reason I find this disparity interesting is that My Summer of Love does not fall within any of the categories of film you would imagine having read the paragraph above.

It is not some kind of arty, aloof, or surrealistic film like Last Year at Marienbad or Eyes Wide Shut, the kind of film that critics love to extol as an example of how they possess insights not available to the rest of us. Of course, every specialty profession requires something to distinguish it from the laity, or the profession would not exist at all. Priests have their secret incantations, the ability to consecrate bread and wine, and the ability to forgive at confession. Heart surgeons have their skillful fingers and their knowledge of anatomy. Engineers have the mathematical and scientific knowledge that enables them to build a bridge from Italy to Sicily when the rest of us could not even begin to imagine how such a thing might be done. Movie critics - well, they ain't got jack. I won't trust you to operate on my heart, and I won't drive on a bridge you build, but if I am allowed to ask you a couple of questions about a movie you saw, I will trust your judgment as much as Roger Ebert's. Given that fact, critics try to justify their positions with some body of "expertise" that enables them to see values which are not apparent to the rest of us. Unfortunately, that expertise is illusory, and they rarely seem to realize that these opinions place them in the position of the Naked Emperor, and not the High Priest. Pretty much anyone with common sense can see that critics are just bullshitting when they praise these arty films, and such opinions are dismissed off-hand. But My Summer of Love is not in this category.

Nor is it a leftist political diatribe, of the type that critics love because of the point of view, but audiences don't care about because they don't go to movies to hear somebody's point of view, right or left. When you get right down to it, moviegoers don't really mind if you're going to insert your viewpoint into a film - as long as you make it entertaining or moving or funny.

So what kind of movie is this? An intimate personal story.

A young working class girl in a small Yorkshire town feels the ennui setting into her life. School's out for summer and the best entertainment available is "riding" her scooter around the environs - a task made considerably less exciting by the fact that it has no motor, so it's only fun on the downhill stretches. She has no friends. She lives above a pub. Her parents are gone. Her brother is an ex-con turned religious zealot. The hours drag.

Then her life suddenly fills with an exciting new friendship. An urbane rich girl from a nearby estate is home from boarding school, and her own boredom leads her into a bond with the other girl. That bond eventually leads beyond friendship and into hot girl-on-girl action. They two of them seem to be so much in love that they are planning to run away together, and then ...

You'll have to watch the movie to get the rest, but I guess I can tell you that the movie's title is a complete spoiler. It is called MY Summer of Love, not OUR Summer of Love, and the obvious limitation imposed by the word "summer" means that autumn just ain't gonna work out so well. You'll see. Besides, first love always hurts, doesn't it?

One of the more interesting undercurrents in the film is the lingering residue of feudalism in Europe. There was a time when the vassals of the continent were actually the property of the rich, and would be used for their amusement. It would certainly not have been uncommon in those days for a young aristocrat to romance any number of pretty serf girls, perhaps even stringing them along with promises of a better life. Even after feudalism disintegrated, European society was still contaminated with a virus of aristocrats who felt that peasants existed solely for the comfort and amusement of their betters. (Read about the Marquis de Sade to experience an extremely radical strain of this virus.) Part of the premise of this film is that the latter-day aristocracy has not changed as much as we would like to believe.

This script has some subtly-developed characterization, and even a few interesting plot twists here and there. I was impressed with the cinematography, which bathes summer in a soft amber glow, then strips away the soft make-up and photographs people and places in the harsh tones of reality when autumn arrives. It's easy to see why critics were impressed by My Summer of Love, and this is the sort of movie that many people would enjoy if they happened to catch it at a friend's house or watched it on cable in an intimate group or alone. Unfortunately, it is not the kind of film that many people will go out of their way to see, and it it not the kind of film you should watch with a raucous group or as a backdrop to some other activity, because it requires you to get deep inside of the girls' lives.

I'm in the same boat that most of you would be in. I'd never get off my duff to watch this kind of movie unless I had no choice, but once inside of it, and focused on it, I liked it. That is the nature of the industry, and a reflection of the inherently small market for this kind of quiet, understated story.


Nathalie Press   
Emily Blunt

(Image #1 is a two-frame composite)





My Summer of Love (2004)

My Summer of Love (2004) takes place in Yorkshire, and is the story of a 16 year old girl, Nathalie Press, who lives with her ex con brother in the pub they inherited. He found Jesus while in the joint, and is now converting the pub into a house of prayer. Nathalie is not amused, but life gets better when she meets rich and spoiled Emily Blunt, home on school holiday. The two become inseparable, then intimate, and plan on taking off together. Unfortunately, Emily is not all she seems.

IMDb readers have this at 7.2 of 10. It won a BAFTA, and a host of other awards and nominations. You could call it a coming of age character driven drama, but that doesn't entirely do it justice. It also holds several surprises at the end. Both Press and Blunt are charming, making it an enjoyable 86 minutes. Berardinelli and Ebert agree at 3 stars, and I will give it a B-. Even if this is not your sort of film, you might find yourself enjoying this one.

Nathalie Press
Emily Blunt

Four Friends (1981):

The Witches of Breastwick (2005) is a Jim Wynorsky direct to vid. It was summed up very well by Glori-Anne Gilbert in the commentary, "See, there's witches and breasts. That is what this is about." The most important criteria for this film was to have between two and six naked breasts on the screen as often as possible. Wynorsky said he was told to have nudity at least every five minutes. Obviously, you don't watch this for the story.

Matt Dailpaz is having a recurring nightmare where three witches (Glori-Anne Gilbert, Julie K. Smith and Stormy Daniels try to do him in. After he describes it to his shrink, and sets of with wife Monique Parent to find the place and the witches, hopefully ending the nightmare, the shrink's receptionist, Jodie Moore, does a conference table strip for him. He has sex with parent in the woods, they meet the witches, everyone has sex with everyone, then Taimie Hannum shows up, has sex with him, and warns him that he is in danger.

I have labeled frames with a breast count of 4 or more as "group." Some of these are among the nicest of the images, as they need to get back aways to get more than two breasts that size in the same frame, this giving better depth of field and sharper focus. There is simulated sex, both guy/girl and girl/girl/girl in beds, bathtubs, hot tubs, and outdoors.

Everyone does full frontal at least once. There are not yet enough votes for this Seduction Cinema offering. If after-market body parts do it for you, that is exactly what this delivers. I though Parent looked especially good, with her read heir both above and below. Next to the others, she was tiny chested. By now you know whether or not you will be watching this one. The genre is robo-tittie flick, and this has more pounds of artificial tittie per frame than any other film I have seen, making it a C+.

Glori-Anne Gilbert
Jodie Moore
Julie K. Smith
Monique Parent
Stormy Daniels
Taimie Hannum





Gabriella Hall in "Beverly Hills Bordello"






Today we have more nudity from "Alien Files". 

First up is Blake Pickett. Tits only from her.
Then the veteran Kira Reed gives it all up at some point in a variety of scenes.
We close with Sage Kirkpatrick naked with some really bountiful titties. By now you should know this is not one you will be watching for the plot.



Dann reports on Sex and the Teenage Mind (2002)

Teen comedies dealing with coming-of-age, teenage angst in love, etc., have been around for decades, and some, like Porkys and American Pie, are classics. Unfortunately, Sex and the Teenage Mind is not a classic, but instead a lame, silly, mostly unfunny rip-off of it's predecessors. The women look fine, but the script simply doesn't produce.

A nerd longs for the school beauty, girlfriend of the football hero. When the nerd defends the beauty against an evil teacher, he gets his chance.

Yeah, that's it. There's no more. It's plain dumb. Even worse, for some reason, though the movie is rated R which normally means topless nudity is OK, the nudity was stripped from the American version and included only in the European version. Fortunately, they DID include it in the deleted scenes of the American DVD. Once again, political correctness runs amuck.

Alison Lange Jodi Fleischer and Danica McKellar Jaime Hagan



I don't really know anything about Cup of My Blood, but you have to respect any film with this in the credits: "Circus-Szalewski as Nibbles." Actually, I think that sounds a lot more interesting than it is. I looked up ol' Circus, and he looks like a regular old guy. I reckon his real name is Dennis Mooney. Here is his home page.

As for the movie -  lots of nudity. Flauti seems to have it under control:

Allie Smith in Cup of My Blood
Daniella Heidner-Kruger in Cup of My Blood
Janina Gavankar in Cup of My Blood
Lana Cheney in Cup of My Blood
Terrina Reese in Cup of My Blood

LC is back from another of his trips to the future!
Here's Lindsey Duncan in out first look at Episode 9 of Rome
Then, Cyn Dulay in a new lesbian vampire flick, Night Fangs
Leslie Frank, also from Night Fangs

Lucy Clarkson caught in a very embarrassing pose by the paparazzi





Now here's a "headline of the day" to make us all rejoice: Jessica Alba Likes Porn

One new clip from Walk the Line

  • Joaquin Phoenix sings Ring of Fire

First Photos From 'Young Hannibal: Behind the Mask', the boyhood story of a cannibalistic homicidal maniac and his dog, who later became his lunch.

THIRTEEN new film clips from "Harry Potter and whatever he's dealing with this time."

homemade-sex-toys.com presents their Halloween special: Pumpkin Sex Toys

Dutch Wiccans Get a Tax Break to Study Witchcraft. The only legislator to oppose the tax break for witches was Joop van Gogh. When approached for a comment, his entire reply was "ribbit."

For the serious drunkard on your Christmas list: Cellphone with built-in breath analyzer


Holy Shit! Is Mel Gibson getting weird(er), or what?

Connecticut Wants to Ban Beer With Elf Label

  • " ... his company had no such problems when it sold Bad Elf and Very Bad Elf in previous years. It sells the beer in 30 other states and none have complained. 'We even had a beer called Santa's Butt last year. They didn't notice Santa's Butt, but they notice this one. How can you miss that big red thing? Minors are not going to be looking to buy beer because Santa Claus is on the label."
  • Attorney General Richard Blumenthal said, "The state has wide discretion to regulate the sales of alcohol." And he plans to abuse that discretion whenever possible!

As Tom Lehrer pointed out when he retired, we now live in a post-ironic world in which it is not possible to distinguish the satire from the real news. This one is "real," from the N.Y. Daily News. Vincent Gallo's sperm is for sale on eBay.com for a starting bid of $1 million

  • What proof do you have that it's really his sperm? Well, you know his slogan, "Gallo will serve no jizz, unless it's his"
  • "The seller, who claims to speak for Gallo, is looking for a blond, Jewish woman to bear his child, because 'this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar.'"
  • Here is the e-Bay listing.
  • I still think it's bullshit, but Gallo is a weird dude, so ... maybe ...

NOTE AFTER THE FACT: eBay pulled the auction, so either it was bullshit or they find it inappropriate content. (They do not specify.)

"Bin Laden Captured After Foolishly Deciding To Attend Halloween Dance In Nebraska"

Study Reveals People Not Paying Enough Attention to Studies

  • 40.3% said they "completely ignored" any scientific discoveries that are not related to the upcoming Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes wedding.

DiCaprio Delights in musical comedy remake: "Crime and Punishment: The Little Raskol"

  • The action of the drama is moved from dreary St. Petersburg to sunny Santa Barbara. Raskolnikov is still a poor and disturbed student, but now a college sophomore at the University of California grappling with the moral conundrum of whether to pledge a fraternity filled with the braying and vapid illiterati whose company he scorns, or to descend into the yawning abyss of moral degradation that awaits him in a dingy off-campus studio apartment (he chooses the latter).
  • The psychic torture of Raskolnikov's dilemma – whether it is morally justifiable to take the life of a pawnbroker to save, as he sees it, the life of his sister – is brilliantly brought to life by DiCaprio in the tap-dance number "Death Ain't No Slouch for a Christian", in which he attempts to justify the killing by the twin beliefs that his sister's life will be better, and that the pawnbroker will go to heaven.

Lennon's White Suit from "Abbey Road" Sells for $118K. No mention of whether it came with two pairs of pants.


  • "The jury in the wrongful-death civil suit against Robert Blake was found murdered outside Vitello's Restaurant in Studio City, California after taking a trip to the restaurant with the actor."
  • "After finishing the reenactment, Blake walked out with the jurors but the realized he had forgotten his gun inside Vitello’s. When he came back outside, he called police to say he found every single juror dead inside their bus."

STAR WARS DVD TO FEATURE ALTERNATE "GOOD DIALOGUE" TRACK ... "Lucas responds to fan demands of non vomit-inducing dialogue for final DVD"

  • However, Kasdan declined an assignment to do a “good dialogue” track for “Episode 2: Attack of the Clones.” According to his agent, Kasdan believes that that “watching the romantic scenes at the end of that movie enough times to rewrite them could be severely hazardous for my mental health.”

Man, I'm going to have to start labeling these "spoof" and "real." This one sounds like a spoof, but it's the real deal. "Madonna says she is not interested in acting in any more movies, but she does want to direct"

Now that's a bad day: Favre is picked off five times, and is stripped of the ball by a fan. And on the last two plays, trying for a tie, he was sacked and threw an illegal pass after a bizarre call. Ouch. His worst day since the premiere of There's Something About Mary.

"under-accomplished celebrity brothers" (pretty funny, although sometimes unjustly cruel)

The Walter Mitty movie is back off again. Owen Wilson has dropped out of the project.

Brewster Jennings Protects America: The Google Map Hunt Game (Plays like Carmen Sandiego)

For Sale: Britain's underground city.

  • Here's your chance. So far the only other bidder is Dick Cheney.
  • They don't exactly know what to do with it. My suggestion: name it Parts Unknown, and make it a haven for masked wrestlers.
  • Kidding aside, this is a fascinating article.

Willie Nelson presents the next governor of the great state of Texas: Kinky Friedman.



Pardon My French - London University found that parents who push their children into classes as soon as they can walk may be stunting their development. These parents are victims of "middle-class angst" who fear a toddler who can't speak French and play tennis won't get into the best pre-schools.  But ironically, teachers say pushing kids into regimented activities damages their creativity and independence, the qualities they look for; and they're more likely to rebel later in life.  But kids who are left alone to make mud pies develop imagination and social skills.

*  The solution is clear: you must get your child into the very best mud pie-making class!
*  So if you want your child to get ahead in life, it's better if he has no class.
*  Someday, your kid will start screaming at you, but at least, he'll do it in French.

Endorsed By Billy Bob Thornton - Connecticut Liquor Control officials are trying to ban importation of a British holiday brew called "Bad Elf Beer."  The label shows a nasty-looking elf shooting ornaments at Santa's sleigh with a slingshot.  Officials say the images might appeal to children, and the regulations specifically bar any mention of Santa on liquor products.  The distributor claims it's sold in 30 other states, and they've never had any complaints before about Bad Elf Beer or Very Bad Elf Beer.

*  "Very Bad Elf Beer" isn't even beer...It's just a bottle of elf urine.
*  Why would it entice kids?  The label plainly says, "BAAAAAAD Elf!"
*  On Christmas Eve, if you leave out a bottle of Bad Elf Beer and some hash brownies instead of milk and cookies, you'll be visited by a mall Santa.

At Least There's No Light Bill - As many Halloween haunted house attractions  as there are, there are fewer than 10 years ago, and they may be dying out.  Urban renewal is reducing the number of cheap empty buildings for rent, safety  laws and insurance are eating up the profits, and cutting-edge special effects technology is getting too expensive.  Haunted house designer Leonard Pickel
told the Houston Chronicle that a lot of people in the business are artist-types who don't understand that "scaring people is easy.  Making money scaring people is a lot harder."

*  No, it isn't...All it takes is pointing a gun at them.
*  The trick is to scare the pants off them, then steal their wallets.
*  You can scare an artist just by telling him what his insurance premium is.
*  All haunted houses will eventually be seized by the IRS and staffed by tax  auditors, who know how to make money scaring people.

The Not-So-Great Pumpkin Contest - The annual pumpkin-growing contest in New Forest, England, has been rocked by doping allegations.  Last year, Ian Paton won with a UK-record 819-pound pumpkin.  Rival growers complained that he grew it in a greenhouse instead of a garden and implied that he boosted its virility with chemicals, possibly Viagra.  After a lot of back-and-forth accusations, a meeting was called to discuss new rules, but nobody showed up.  The pumpkin-growing contest has now been canceled.

*  Apparently, you're only allowed to grow pumpkins in really sincere pumpkin patches.
*  Pumpkins can take Viagra?  No wonder the Great Pumpkin is always too busy to show up!
*  That pumpkin broke the old British record for scariest hollow gourd, set by Prince Charles.

They MUST Be Real! - A CBS News poll found that 48 percent of Americans believe in ghosts, while only 45 percent don't.  Women are more likely to believe in ghosts, by 56 to 38 percent, and 22 percent of Americans claim they've actually seen a ghost.

*  They tend to show up on Election Day, just to vote.
*  It was a creepy, solid-white entity with a high, wailing voice...But it just turned out to be Michael Jackson.
*  They also thought they'd seen the walking dead, but that turned out to be Keith Richards.

They Have WRITERS?! - Writers and editors of reality shows such as "The Bachelor" and "Trading Spouses" have filed two class action suits over their "sweatshop conditions," and they expose some unreal secrets.  They claim they often  create "Franken-bites," editing together snippets of dialogue to make people say things they didn't really say.  Participants are plied with booze to make
them act outrageous, they edit in reaction shots filmed months before, and they once even dubbed slurping sounds onto video of a couple kissing to make it seem they were having oral sex.

*  And that was on "Trading Spouses."
*  The slurping sounds were edited out of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."
*  On reality shows, even reality gets an Extreme Makeover.
*  This explains why editors have to work 18-hour days to create "reality."
*  And the people on "The Biggest Loser" are all fashion models wearing fat suits.

Just A Gigolo - In Touch magazine claims that a "close friend" of Kevin Federline's said his wife Britney Spears poured cold water on Kevin's hopes of becoming a pop star.  The source claims Kevin brought home his first recordings, and Britney greeted them with "hurtful laughter" and told him his debut CD might sell a hundred or maybe a thousand copies if he was lucky.  She advised him to find another career, and "Kevin looked really hurt."

*  Well, how would you feel if you'd been told you couldn't sing by Britney Spears?
*  If he's that bad, he might have to accept reality and hire Britney's producer.
*  That's not fair: if all his illegitimate kids bought one CD each, he'd sell over a thousand copies.
*  She'd tell him not to quit his day job, but he'd have to get one first.

Symbol Of France Surrenders - Le Parisien reports that after 170 movies, unlikely French sex symbol Gerard Depardieu, 57, announced that his next film will be his last, saying, "I have nothing left to prove.  I'm not going to hang on like an imbecile...I'm leaving it behind, and I'm not even drunk, for once."

*  He didn't realize he'd made 170 movies, since he can only remember about ten of them.
*  It's time to retire: he's about to lose his looks.
*  He's not hanging on like an imbecile...He's quitting like an imbecile.



Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.

  • A white asterisk means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there is something else of interest.

  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan or ICMS, or somebody else besides me)

  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.