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Friday
Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net
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Use this search device to seek additional information from amazon.com about any of the books or movies you read about here.
To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.
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Tuna
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"Pushing Tin"
Pushing Tin (1999) was one of my earliest DVD projects, and was in dire need of a redo, especially because of the breast exposure by Angelina Jolie. It is billed as a comedy at IMDB, which surprised me. I would have called it a drama. John Cusack as Nick Falzone is the hottest air traffic controller at Newark Terminal Approach, when Billy Bob Thornton as Russel Bell reports for work. Bell is half Indian, a loner, has a reputation for being strange, and is married to Angelina Jolie. It was inevitable that Falzone and Bell get into a pecker contest, first at work, and then in their personal lives. Things escalate when Falzone beds Jolie, and suspects that Bell is trying to nail his own wife.
IMDB readers have this at 6.0 of 10. Ebert awards 3 stars, praising the character development, and the look inside air traffic control, which are the very reasons I loved this film. Berardinelli awards two stars, blaming a lame, cliched script. It scored 52% overall at Rotten Tomatoes, with top critics splitting at 50%. Jolie's breast exposure is lovely. For me, it is a character driven drama with a lot of humor about a fascinating occupation, and I like this film very much. It was a box office flop, grossing $8.41M against a budget of $33M. The IMDB scores are slightly higher for women. The correct score is C.
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Angelina Jolie
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"Harvard Man"
Harvard Man (2001) is by Writer Director James Toback (Bugsy, The Pick-Up Artist, Black and White). It opened in San Francisco and died instantly, and is now available on DVD. I saw it as plot driven. Harvard basketball star and philosophy major Adrian Grenier is living a life of excess, with drugs and two women, one his college professor, Joey Lauren Adams, and the other a Holy Cross cheerleader, Sarah Michelle Geller, who happens to be the daughter of a major Mafia figure. When his parents Kansas home is destroyed by a tornado, he wants to find $100K for them to rebuild, and ends up asking Geller's dad for a loan. The dad turns him down, but, on the way home, Geller explains that his dad didn't want to lose face in front of his men, but will give him the money. Oh, and by the way, he needs to shave points off of the next basketball game.
Grenier has majored in philosophy to try to discover what, if anything, the real him is like. A chemistry major friend offers him the quick method of enlightenment. She has synthesized LSD, and gives him a massive dose. Geller is scaming Grenier, and is actually betting on the game, and giving him a fraction of the money she will win. Unfortunately, she places the bet with two undercover FBI agents masquerading as bookies to bust her father. So Grenier finds himself under the FBI's thumb, facing hit men sent by Geller's father, and on a seriously bad trip. I would go on, but it already seems to preposterous to be true.
Then I listened to the directors commentary, and discovered that it was not a plot driven film at all, but a semi-autobiographical study about nearly ruining your life dropping acid in a search for truth. Learning that didn't make me like the film any better. Geller and Adams both had sex several times, but fully dressed. We see breasts from Canadian Polly Shannon through a window, as part of an elaborate blackmail scheme against the FBI agents, and an Unknown Italian actress steps nude out of a Gauguin painting as part of an LSD hallucination. The director looked all over for a Polynesian actress to use for the part, and couldn't find one with a suitable face. Finally, he found the Italian actress, but she had shaved pubs, and he needed a thick black bush. His make-up department said, "No problem, we'll put a merkin on her." Not only was he surprised that public wigs existed, but also that they had an official name. SO the unknown actress shows breasts, and a merkin.
IMDB readers have this at 5.9 of 10. Ebert was enthusiastic at three stars. Rotten Tomatoes shows 36% positive, but 50% from the top critics. In his review, Ebert praises Toback for taking risks in his films, which might explain some critical acceptance. Personally, I found it a total chore to watch, with many of the plot points to silly to accept. C-.
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Polly Shannon
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Unknown
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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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MOVIES:
Spetters is one of the five major Dutch films done by Paul Verhoeven in his
youth. Verhoeven never lived up the the promise of his early work, but we must
concede that for those of us who love celebrity nudity he is THE man. Basic
Instinct and Showgirls, his Hollywood nudity classics, are kiddie shows compared
to his Dutch films. This particular film is stronger on male nudity, but there's
plenty of female flesh to enjoy as well.
I don't know why people are so negative about sequels. Some of the greatest
films have been sequels, like The Godfather Part 2, Terminator 2, The Empire
Strikes Back and Aliens. In this same tradition, I can report to you that
Return to the Blue
Lagoon is every bit as good as the original film. That's the good news. The
bad news is that there are test patterns as good as the original film.
- Milla Jovovich
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MAILBOX:
(scoop's replies in yellow)
In the Oct. 27
Fun House, Oz had a collage of the Charlie's Angels, Love Boat episode and
lamented missing the best caps. I hope he's happy with these ones. What a
70s flashback. Charlie's Angels, The Love Boat crew and Dick Sargent (Darren
from Bewitched) as a guest. But Cheryl Ladd is the one that stands out the
most - particularly under-water. Enjoy.
Jazzmaster
- Thumbs
- Individual Frames (Scoop recommends number 19 among
the underwater ones. Number six is a beautiful shot of her in a small bikini.
If you like buns, number 28 is a shot of her in a wet white bikini from the
rear.)
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UPDATES:
- New Encyclopedia volumes for Ahmo Hight, Brenda Bakke,
Traci Bingham, Catherine Deneuve, Jerry Hall, Bridget Hall, Geri Halliwell
(former Spice individual)
- Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated for the week
- The Honte's Swedish and International celebs site is updated for the week
OTHER CRAP:
- From the editors of The Smoking Gun: "Now that the Drew Barrymore-Tom
Green union is legally kaput, we're happy to report that the grating comedian
will walk away from his 158-day marriage with important intellectual property
like Subway Monkey Hour and The Splooze. Settlement details at:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/greendiv1.html"
- Enron's ex-CFO,
Andrew
Fastow, was slammed with a 78 count indictment. The government has also
frozen $37 million of his assets.
- The new ultra-left mantra?
George Bush killed Sen Wellstone. Meanwhile, the anti-Bush website
voxnyc.com is claiming that not
only is the president tied to Wellstone's death, but that
it had
predicted in May 2001 that another Democratic senator would soon
be killed, with a plane crash as a likely scenario. Oliver Stone hasn't
written a script in some time. I see one forming quickly. Jesse Ventura has
to be involved in the conspiracy, since he gets to nominate Wellstone's
temporary successor. I will be a little suspicious if he nominates Rush
Limbaugh.
- for Halloween - the 100
scariest movie moments.
- the Beatles' kids look like them.
You have to
see Harrison's kid
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Pat Buchanan refers to Canada as "Soviet Canuckistan", and says, "That
place is a complete haven for international terrorists". Gosh, he's a
sensitive guy.
- 100%
of Iraqis plan to dress as Saddam for Halloween. That will really help
the costume shops in Baghdad to keep their inventories down. Instead of candy
corn, the Interior Ministry plans to hand out highly prized nuggets of
weapons-grade uranium to Iraqi children.
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Official Iraqi voting form
- Winona trial
coverage from Day 3
- Should you stalk Bill Shatner?
Take this easy quiz to find
out.
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Scientists invent new spray which wards off those pesky gay people. From
the science department at the famous bastion of research and higher learning,
Weekly World News.
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded
into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant
humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or
Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.
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Graphic Response
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Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
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Brainscan
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'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
April showers bring May flowers, but what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims. Or if you live in Indianapolis, they bring Colts. If you're lucky, you won't get either of those alleged jokes.
What then of April Flowers? She is an active lil' pornstar, cute as the dickens, has starred in maybe 30 videos.. or at least that's what the resident expert tells me. I certainly wouldn't know anything about adult films, no sirreeee not me. So what's she got to do with anything I'd cap?
April Flowers is also Diana Espen, B movie starlet, who's appeared in a dozen or so straight to video soft-core things. Had one very long scene in Model Solution, which Tuna capped a while back. Now when Tuna caps something, it's good and capped and there ain't no reason for me to go fishin' in that pond. Picked it up anyway for reasons that'll become clear sooner or later; figured I'd grab a few frames and be done with it. But, boys, lemme tell you this DVD/video is an environment so target-rich for guys like us that you just might wanna take a look sometime. We aren't talking about Silence of the Lambs or Dr. Strangelove or The Lion in Winter. In fact the mixture of humor and contrived drama is just enough to support a half-hour sitcom.. and the makers of the movie knew that. So they filled the other 65 minutes with great looking nekkid babes. Thirty minutes of clothes-on, sixty-five of clothes-off. What a great frigging idea. Wish lots of other folks had thought of that.
Anyway, first babe there is to pass along is Diana Espen, nee April Showers. Ten collages. The rundown:
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DeVo
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Hélène de Fougerolles
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The French actress exposes all the goodies as she gets out of the shower in scenes from "Long cours" (1996).
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Kyra Sedgwick |
aka Mrs. Kevin Bacon. Here she is showing off a little bit of breast and bum exposure as she co-stars with Bacon in scenes from the 1991 movie "Pyrates".
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Marg Helgenberger |
Co-star of the hit series "C.S.I.: Crime Scene Investigation", topless in "Species" (1995).
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Sally Harrison |
Side breast views and rear nudity in the 1973 horror flick "And Now the Screaming Starts!".
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Variety
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Linnea Quigley
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The legendary B-movie Scream Queen showing off breasts, bum and bush in scenes from "Return of the Living Dead" (1985). Excellent 'caps by DeadLamb.
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Lisa Comshaw
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The busty Skinemax regular gives up all 3 B's in a variety of sex scenes from "Secret Needs" (1999).
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Gretchen Mol |
A fantastic collage by ZonononZor featuring Gretchen and her perfect breasts.
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Nicole Kidman |
Finally on DVD, 'caps by Finn of Nicole's full frontal nudity in "Billy Bathgate" (1991).
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Natasha Gregson Wagner |
Technically a see-thru pose, but she might as well be topless. Thanks to Squiddy.
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Tina Tyler |
The adult film actress gettin' it on in a 3-way scene with Allysin Chaynes and some dude in "Illicit Sensations". 'Caps by Dracul.
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Eva Mendes
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Cleavage in #1, brief views of breasts, bum and bush in #2. Great 'caps by DeadLamb from "Training Day".
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Liberty Ross
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The model poses topless and also wearing a see-thru outfit in the November issue of I-D magazine. Scans by Rev.
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Désirée Nosbusch
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'Caps and comments by UC99:
"She" adores a rock star. She's obsessed. When he wants to leave her she kills him, cuts him up with an electric knife, eats him. Brrrrr - nasty story, nice girl. Désirée Nosbusch, entertainer and actress from Luxemburg, was 17 when she starred in "The Fan" directed by German master of New Wave trash Eckhart Schmidt. This movie lead to a remarkable scandal in 1982. Désirée went to court and wanted to stop the film. She said she hadn't known that the nude scenes would be shown as they were filmed. The judges smiled and said "no" to censorship. That's the story behind the story. Enjoy!
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Dannii Minogue
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Actress, singer, and younger sister of Kylie Minogue. These scans are from her latest calendar. No nudity, but there are a few nice bikini poses (links 9 and 11).
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Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
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Pat's comments in yellow...
HALLOWEEN COSTUMES GETTING SEXIER
Turn Tricks Or Treat? - This Halloween, you'll see more flesh
than blood, at least among adult revelers. Costume sellers say gore is out
and sex is in. Men are going for tight leotard outfits like Spiderman,
while women are opting for racy costumes that look like Victoria's Secret.
Outfits such as Wonder Woman, she-devils and Red Hot Riding Hood, are
skin-tight with micro-miniskirts, low cut tops or bosom-boosting bustiers.
But they're not for everyone: one Ohio seller said some customers pick up
his sexy costumes and he thinks, "Please don't put that on."
For example, the day Anna Nicole Smith came in...
He suggests they just drape a sheet over themselves...A king-size sheet.
These costumes may turn out to be unintentionally frightening.
This year, there will be fewer creatures of the night, and a lot more
ladies of the evening.
He shows them the Elvira costume, and they say, "Got anything sexier?"
NOVEL SENTENCE FOR CANDY THIEF
Well, He Wanted Snickers - Edward Rivera, 23, of Elyria, Ohio, pleaded
guilty to attempted robbery for stealing trick-or-treat candy from a child
last Halloween. So the judge ordered Rivera to put on a costume and a sign
reading "I'm sorry. I will not steal from children." Then he had to go
stand in a local hospital and hand out free candy to children.
Everything but the little Snickers bars...He kept those.
Turned out taking candy from a baby wasn't that easy.
KID SQUEALS ON GRANNY'S METH LAB
Show And Tell - Denver Police removed two children from a house where their
mom and grandma were allegedly running a methamphetamine lab. The
four-year-old boy even drew them pictures of the meth labs in his bedroom,
his mom's room and the laundry room, and told them that's where they "made
oil for mom's car." He also gave them precise directions to another house
where they were running a meth lab. One cop said the boy couldn't count to
10, but he could tell you how to manufacture methamphetamine.
It's so simple, a child could do it.
This is why home-schooled kids do so well at science.
The kid will be both a witness in the trial, and the courtroom artist.
He's going out for Halloween dressed as a stool pigeon.
"SUPERMODEL" REALITY SHOW
This Week's Contest: "The Pillow Fight!" - Variety reports that UPN has
picked up a new reality game show called "Supermodel," hosted by Tyra
Banks. UPN says it will show "the challenges and hard work of becoming a
supermodel" as eight hopefuls live together and compete in contests to win
a modeling contract.
I'm guessing Wet T-shirt Contests, not Pie-Eating Contests.
They all starve themselves, and the last one standing wins.
There's only one set: the Dressing Room.
What does the life of a supermodel have to do with reality?
NEWS NOTES!
Jesse Ventura was so disgusted by the partisan Wellstone memorial, he
walked out...Yes, it was so tacky, it actually disgusted a former WWF star.
For the first time ever, Carlos Santana's new album has debuted at
#1...Santana and Elvis top the charts, the Rolling Stones are on tour,
Walter Mondale is running for office - What the hell year IS this?!!
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