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"States of Control" (1998)

States of Control (1998) is arty and pretentious, very talky, has no real plot, and no clear point that I could see, and is a terrible transfer with nearly no color. Interestingly, the trailer looks ok. Jennifer Van Dyck is the focus of the film, and shows her breasts twice. As the film opens, she is experimenting with sleep deprivation, and says that she fills in what she doesn't like about her life with fantasy. I gathered that nothing that followed was necessarily true. The rest of the film has her doing one strange thing after another. She is not happy with her snobbish and impotent husband, she is fascinated by the director and the author of a play that the theater she works in is doing, spends time saying profound but nonsensical things to her girlfriends, leaves her husband, has an affair, then builds a bomb, blows up a New York Porn shop, and escapes into the woods.

Ok, I can buy all that, but then she picks up her snub nosed 38 for the first time, and shoots a rabbit in the head for dinner. Some critics compare it to Antonioni, I compare it to toxic waste. F.

  • Thumbnails

  • Jennifer Van Dyck (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    "T.N.T Jackson" (1975)

    T.N.T Jackson (1975) is a Roger Corman blacksploitation/Kung Fu/Crime film shot in the Philippines. The plot, not that it matters, has T.N.T. coming to revenge the murder of her brother. She runs headlong into an undercover narcotics investigation. The fighting is amazingly bad, with the punches obviously missing, the kicks looking more like a punter than a martial artists, and no attention at all to continuity. Look at Jeannie Bell 5, where she is flying through the air in white panties, and then lands in brown ones in number 6.

    The transfer is abysmal, obviously made from a very battered print with no effort to clean it up. The good news? Good breast shots from Playboy Playmate of the Month October 1969, Jeannie Bell, breasts from Pat Anderson getting out of the shower, and breasts from two unknowns. Maltin says 2 stars, and IMDB readers say 5.9/10. I would have enjoyed it much more if the transfer would have been decent, but it crosses several genres, and has bad movie appeal, so C+.

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  • Jeannie Bell (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Pat Anderson (1, 2, 3)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Gunblast Vodka is a really fucked-up French-Polish film in English, starring Angie Everhart, who stays dressed.

    Are you ready for this? It is a flippant, cavalier comedy about the snuff film industry. I suppose it is probably the Citizen Kane of snuff film comedies.

    One of the 15-20 worst movies I've ever encountered, not to mention one of the oddest. One would have to question the sanity of its makers.

    Here are my all-time favorites, in no special order other than that Glam is worst. I have actually made it through the others. I can't do it with Glam, and I don't think anybody ever has. Of all the people I've shown it to, the record was five minutes before asking me to shut it off.

    Don't go out and rent these thinking they would be fun to watch. If a movie is so bad it's good, I consider that entertainment, and leave it off the list. These are movies that are sheer torture to watch. (The exception might be Greaser's Palace, which is on the borderline of "so strange it's almost good".)

    A few of the movies on this list are worth watching for a couple of minutes just because people can't possible explain them to you until you've seen a little for yourself. There are no words to explain how bad or how odd they are.  Gunblast Vodka is in this general category, along with Don't Touch the White Woman.

    (In Don't Touch the White Woman, General Custer battles the Indians in downtown Paris during the Nixon administration. Ol' Yellowhair is played by Marcello Mastroianni. Nuff said. That was odd, but a wacky comedy about the snuff film industry is getting into that same league)


    Hard as Nails is a recently released straight-to-vid. OK - a good plot and a lot of action for what is basically just a titty flick, but a poor transfer. The quality of the film was awful. This is the second worst DVD I've ever had to work with, the other being Kill Cruise, that early Liz Hurley movie.  Since Tuna already wrestled with this just a coupe of days ago,  I just did Lorissa, and I shrunk the images to 240 lines in the hopes of creating something with a little different look from what Tuna already did.

    • Lorissa McComas (1, 2, 3, 4)


    There is no nudity in The Animal. Not much entertainment, either. It's kinda cute and sweet, sort of a modernization of the Flubber movies. It would be a cute movie for little kids, except it has some fairly raunchy jokes. Even those shouldn't put parents off too much. Schneider woos a goat, for example, but that's a scene more sentimental than anything else, and little kids would think that he just wants to pet the goat, not make it his carnal love-muffin. I think your ten year olds would probably get a kick out of the movie.


    Oh, brother. Look at the Mariah Carey gallery at Fansites' section on the Radio Music Awards. Look at picture 22. It might be showing something. Only one problem. That's where they chose to put their copyright information


    Titbits. (Yes, I know how to spell it)

    • Memento has now generated $48 million in rental income and remains in the top 20 selling DVD's for the seventh straight week. Pretty good for a title that maxed out at $25 million at the domestic box office.

    • DVD region 1 release date on Center of the World delayed until December 18th

    • DVD region 1 release date on Baise-Moi is December 11th

    • DVD region 1 release date on Dancing at the Blue Iguana is December 26th



    Hey, Scoop. For your list of entertainers better at their second career: Mark Wahlberg is better at acting than at ... ahem ... rapping.

    Yes - a great example. Wahlberg has surprised a lot of people, including me. He is a remarkably good, unaffected actor. He's not likely to take any of those typical Masterpiece Theater parts away from Rupert Everett, but he's really good at what he does

    Scoop - a perfect example is Nat King Cole, who was famous as a singer but was an incredible jazz pianist. Many jazz fans think his success in vocal music was a great loss to jazz piano.

    I have to take your word for it, but he must have been a pretty friggin' good pianist for you to make the comparison, because his singin' ain't so bad either! Most of the people we have talked about are on the list because they aren't that good at their primary career, but Cole is the only example which has been offered of a person excellent at the vocation that made him famous and even better at something else.

    Of course, the all-time example is Michelangelo. He started out apprenticed to a painter, and as you know he was a pretty damned good one, but he turned out to be even better as a sculptor, probably the best that ever lived.

    You know how old farts always say that music and athletes and everything else was better in their day? What do you think middle-aged people said when they saw Michelangelo's David and Pieta? Maybe something like - "Oh, that fuckin' Michelangelo can't sculpt for shit. Not like the sculptors when we were young."

    Hey, Scoop. The theme from Benny Hill is now a Disco Tune. Click here.


    Just in case anyone has missed an update, here are a few of the top stories from the past few days...

  • In the 10/29 and 10/31 Editions, the first vidcaps of Daryl Hannah, Jennifer Tilly, Sandra Oh, Sheila Kelley, and Charlotte Ayanna all playing topless strippers in scenes from "Dancing at the Blue Iguana"!

  • In the 10/31 Edition, DVD Vidcaps of Halle Berry topless in "Swordfish"

  • Graphic Response
  • Rachel Griffiths, wearing nothing but wings and body paint in scenes from "Blow Dry".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

  • Variety
    Colleen Haskell
    (1, 2, 3)

    Everyone's favorite babe from the original "Survivor" making her big screen debut in the Rob Schneider movie "The Animal". No nudity, but good lord is she cute. Nice pokies and bare back in #2. Thanks to Akira for the great 'caps.

    Emily Procter


    Fantastic collages by Dann from the movie "Breast Men". Plenty of upper body exposure in these. Some breasts courtesy of "movie magic", others are robo-hooters, and yup, some are genuine, home-grown, all natural boobs too!

    Nancy Allen Excellent full frontal exposure from "Carrie" (1976). Vidcaps by DeVo.

    Moira Kelly
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    Several frames with breast exposure (including a few with Cuba Gooding Jr. copping a feel) in scenes the made for cable movie "Daybreak" (1993).

    Kari Wuhrer
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Melissa Stone
    (1, 2, 3)

    Kari seems to be slowing down a bit in the "take it all off" category, but I'm still going to peek whenever she does give up the goods! Even if it's limited nudity like in these 'caps from "Thy Neighbor's Wife" aka "Poison" (2000)

    Melissa also reveals her breasts, but with much better exposure.

    Jeri Ryan
    (1, 2)

    Jeri looking absolutely gorgeous at a couple of celeb events.

    Kristin Minter
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Topless and full frontal nudity from the movie "Tick Tock". As Tuna put it....."Tick-Tock (2000) is the best thriller I have never heard of." Click here to read Tuna and Scoop's reviews of this unknown movie.

    Center of the World
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Vidcaps by DB from "The Center of the World". These are a little dark, but hopefully the DVD will reveal more when it is released in December.

    Alesha Oreskovich
    (1, 2)

    The former rabbitmag-mate in topless and full frontal scenes from a recent episode of the Showtime series, "Going to California".

    The Funnies by Number 6

    10. Cats' facial expressions.
    9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
    8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
    7. Fat clothes.
    6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
    5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
    4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
    3. Eyelash curlers.
    2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
    AND, the Number One thing only women understand


    Click Here!