Tuesday


Notes
NOTE TO ALL: Scoopy Jr writes the bulk of the commentary these days, while Uncle Scoopy continues to add his daily column, Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net

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Tuna
"Slugs" (1987)

Slugs, IMDB name "Slugs, muerte viscosa" is a New World exploitation gore film US/Spanish collaboration. The film has a problem at the onset. The very name slug is synonymous with slow and dull, and is hard to make a convincing monster out of, even if they are mutant, giant and man-eating. IMDB users have it at 3.3/10, which is a little harsh. This film is not totally without merit. It has the look and feel of a big budget polished production, pretty good pace, and bad guys in addition to the slugs.

The slugs have mutated due to a toxic waste landfill, and are released when some preliminary construction is done to put a shopping mall over the landfill. People start getting "slimed," and the good guys (head of the health department, and waste disposal department head), quickly discover the cause. With the help of a school science teacher who has the worst British accent ever put on film, they also discover a way to do them in. The problem is that the mayor, the chief of police and the head of the water department don't believe them.

Plusses:

Decent anamorphic transfer
Original Trailer
Good pace
Good Photography
Lots of gore
Good exposure
Great tag line: "They ooze. They slime. They kill."

Negatives:

No commentary
Weak plot with lots of holes
Poor acting
Cheesy Dialogue (Hmmm, maybe this is a plus)
More of an EWWWWWWWW factor than a scare factor

For more information, visit Bad Movies. Listen to the wav file of my favorite line from the film. "Well of course I like you, but liking you and letting you get into my panties is a different kinda thing."

  • Thumbnails

  • Karen Landberg (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Kari Rose (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

    "Bordello of Blood" (1996)

    Bordello of Blood (1996) is a feature length episode of HBO's Tales from the Crypt. It stars Angie Everheart as the head vampire, Erika Eleniak as an assistant to a tele-evangelist and sister to a punk rocker who goes to Everheart's bordello and doesn't come home, Chris Sarandan as the evangelist, and Dennis Miller as a PI hired to look for Eleniak's brother. Miller is the highlight of this film. He has some wickedly funny one-liners, and approaches vampire slaying with composure and style.

    Everheart and Eleniak keep their clothes on, probably just to be different. Everyone else is busting out all over. Everyone awards this one two stars, but admits it is fun to watch. IMDB readers give it 5.0/10, which is roughly the same as two stars. It is certainly not great cinema, but is decent entertainment. You shouldn't ask much more from a boob and gore film.

  • Thumbnails

  • Ciara Hunter (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Juliet Reagh (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Leslie Ann Phillips (1, 2, 3)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7)
  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Scoopy's top ten least popular Halloween Candy for 2000

    10. Bit O' Roadkill

    9. Troutfinger

    8. Baby Ruth Gordon

    7. Baby Harbor Seal

    6. S&Ms

    5. Smegma Pops

    4. Good 'n Illegal

    3. Gummi Tainted Needles

    2. Hershey Highway

    1. (held over from 1999) Turkish Prison Taffy

    Top ten signs you're too old for trick or treating

    These aren't new, but still winners ....

    10. Have to avoid all your ex-wives' houses.

    9. Too constipated do do the "bag of flaming shit on the doorstep" trick.

    8. People say "great Keith Richards mask", and you're not wearing one.

    7. End the night with a bag full of restraining orders.

    6. Need to disguise your walker as a Tie Fighter

    5. "trick or .....", and you can't remember the rest

    4. The knocking gets you winded

    3. You ask for high-fiber candy

    2. When people drop a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance.

    1. Had to choose a costume that doesn't dislodge your toupee.


    Today's reviews are located here, quite a range:

    The Sweet Hereafter, one of the best films ever made. This long discussion also includes a revised look at the 1997 Oscars (Titanic won), and

    Cold Sweat, one of the worst ever, starring Dave Thomas (!!!) in an erotic thriller (??? Dave Thomas ??? That studmuffin!) which was originally released with a promotional hook - the video is followed by a quiz. Answering the questions correctly entered you in a contest to win a date with Shannon Tweed! If I remember correctly, Dante used the same gimmick to hype Purgatorio.

    If you just skip the reviews, here's the pics. Sweet Hereafter's pics are from a beautiful DVD. Cold Sweat was a fuzzy video. Although given the subject matter, they could have made it even more fuzzy. Except when Shannon Tweed was naked.

  • Alberta Watson, "The Sweet Hereafter" (1, 2, 3)
  • Shannon Tweed, "Cold Sweat" (1, 2, 3)
  • Lenore Zann, "Cold Sweat" (1, 2)
  • Maria del Mar, "Cold Sweat"
  • UC99
    Tina Sportolaro
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    All kinds of nudity (mostly full frontal) from "Femmes". #1 and #2 are especially nice, even if you don't know who she is.
    Alexandra Stewart Topless, plus a hint of pubes. Also from "Femmes".
    Dirke Altevogt Yup, more from "Femmes" and more full frontal nudity.
    Eva Cobo One more from "Femmes", this time only topless.
    Jenz
    Jordan
    (1, 2, 3)
    One semi-topless, and two teasers of the busty babe.
    Geena Davis B&W Glam pic. Not much to see.
    Charlie O'Neale Topless B&W.
    Carrie-Anne Moss Decked out in full Matrix leather.
    Scanman
    Rose McGowan
    (1, 2)
    New to me scans of Rose topless in brand new 'caps from "Going All the Way".
    Jennifer Lopez All new 'caps of Jennifer topless in scenes from "U-Turn".
    Thelonious Monk
    Estella Warren Comments by Thelonious:
    A few new ones from American Photo. The three colour pics come from an article on a project from photog Russell James titled ImNOMAD. Quoting the article: 'The ideas soon took the shape of a story involving three archetypal female characters (pictured) representing different states of human awareness, all of whom are on a spiritual walkabout guided by a mysterious nomad.' Apparently there are plans for a book, a film, cdrom's and webisodes. Interesting project with well known models nude, sounds like a winner to me.

    The Amy Dugan is a separate pic, just looked interesting enough to do as well.

    Rachel Roberts
    Heidi Klum
    Amy Dugan
    and ...
    Natalie Appleton

    Nicole Appleton

    From Watty...huge 'caps of each of the All Saints sisters showing off their boobs, I mean their acting talent. From the recently released "Honest".
    Laetitia Casta PicCap takes a second look at the amazing topless paparazzi pics the popped up a few months ago.
    Phoebe Cates Vidcaps and comments by Akira:
    These are from Paradise. They are also capped from CED format. This may be a first. CEDs went out of production in 1986.
    Margot Kidder
    (1, 2)
    Topless scenes of Lois Lane from 1975's "The Reincarnation of Peter Proud". An excellent find! Many of the folks I discuss movies with are of the same opinion when it comes to the casting of Margot as Lois Lane. We never understood. I look at it like this...Superdude can have any chick he wants in the world, and the best he can do is Margot Kidder?

    Even in the first Superman, when she was only 30, her 2 pack a day habit had aged her beyond her years to the point that every close up of her had to use the official "Vaseline over the camera lens to make the skin look young and smooth". But apparently the special effects budget was blown making Superman fly, (not to mention the huge expense of feeding Marlon Brando) so I guess there was nothing left to take care of her smoke stained teeth.

    But enough of that...after seeing these 'caps, I think I see what the producers were hoping for, but I still think they could have done better.

    Penélope Cruz
    (1, 2)

    Monica Cruz
    (1, 2, 3)

    I've been a fan of Penelope's for a while, so topless vidcaps of her are always welcome. But the bonus today is topless paparazzi pics of her sister Monica!

    Thanks to CL for the 'caps from "Jamón, jamón".

    Anna Falchi
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    6 fantastic B&W scans of Anna. All very see-thru, and 2-6 showing off her pre-boob job body.
    Tabatha Cash
    (1, 2, 3, 4)
    4 More excellent scans of the former porn babe. #2 is my favorite. I think it's the influence from having lived in Texas for many years...chicks with guns just do something for me.
    Katia Alens
    (1, 2)
    Two gorgeous full and semi-full frontal scans of Katia from a new magazine called Cover.
    Annabel Schofield Brief topless scenes from "Solar Crisis", by Scorpion.
    Tanya Roberts Getttin' it on and showing all kinds of exposure in scenes from "Almost Pregnant". Thanks to Scorpion.
    The Funnies
    What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

    A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time...."
    A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."



    Odd news

    1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
    AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. " He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

    2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS!
    Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up".

    3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
    An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

    4. THE GETAWAY!
    A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

    5. DID I SAY THAT???
    Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each man in the line-up to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "that's not what I said!"

    6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
    A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

    7. NOT THE SHARPEST KNIFE IN THE DRAWER!!
    In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

    8. THE GRAND FINALE
    Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22-ft. Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted over to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong.
    A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water,he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.


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